PeterDavid.net

Bad Misdirection

Misdirection is the most fundamental of stage magic arts. When you want to accomplish something that you don't want the audience to see or understand, you distract their attention elsewhere.

It was something that GWB thoroughly mastered in his first four years. Using misdirection to draw the public's attention away from his failure to find bin Laden, he and his Neocons used Iraq in what Jon Stewart correctly referred to as "Operation: Re-elect Bush." To draw the public's attention away from the fact that Iraq was not a threat to the US, he managed to say "9/11" and "Saddam" in the same breath so many times that the majority of Americans became convinced they were linked. Misdirection. He waved his right hand widely and sweepingly and drew America's attention away from his true motivations neatly tucked in his other hand. And it worked.

But now we're into bad misdirection. Because his recent speech could have been delivered a year ago, as if the ongoing war (it's not an insurgency; it's a war. Let's call it what it is) hadn't happened. As if dead Americans weren't piling up like cordwood, and weren't going to be doing so for the foreseeable future. Now the problem is that instead of being distracted by the deftly moving right hand, people are starting to say, "Wait...what's he got in his left hand?" Bush's response? A speech that basically shouts, "Look at my right hand! See? Right hand, over here! Look at it, look at it!" His attempts to link 9/11 and Iraq yet again, at a time when more and more Americans are starting to realize that there is no link, are more pathetically obvious than ever before. His manipulation of a shell-shocked America and his naked politicizing of the terrorist strike at the WTC by using it to support a long-standing Neocon war initiative remains one of the most ugly moments in recent presidential history. I think it ironic that Democrats get slammed for invoking Nazi Germany while Bush and his pals continue to invoke 9/11 to support everything from a flag burning amendment to an unnecessary war.

The absolute lowpoint was the following:

"Some wonder whether Iraq is a central front in the war on terror. Among the terrorists, there is no debate. Hear the words of Osama Bin Laden: "This Third World War is raging" in Iraq."

Am I the only one who finds this a hoot? What the hell has the world come to when we consider this: The credibility of the President of the United States is so non-existent, that if we won't take his word for it that the Iraq war was a necessary strike against terrorism, certainly we'll take the word of a murdering sociopath with the blood of three thousand Americans on his hands. Yes, that's right, kids: George W. Bush apparently believes that the words of Osama bin Laden have more street cred than his own.

Bush will always have his apologists, of course. Those who embrace the oldest rationalization of all, namely that the ends justifies the means. Karl Rove can try to shift blame to the Democrats all he wants. But the trickery is becoming more obvious, the misdirection more obvious, and the curtain more frayed.

Most people can quote Lincoln saying "It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time; you can even fool some of the people all the time; but you can't fool all of the people all the time." But what is less known is the sentence right before that: "If you once forfeit the confidence of your fellow citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem."

Presto.

PAD

Spidey Crossover

There's some active discussion on Newsarama over the upcoming Spidey crossover that's going to intersect with the launch of "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man." I posted a response which I think might be useful here as well--

Guys...it's real simple:

1) It's a way of doing a crossover story in which writers don't feel like they're doing bits and pieces; (2) readers who prefer particular writers can read a month of their stories in a row rather than piecemeal chapters; (3) regular readers of the respective books will be exposed to writers and might--with any luck--like what they see and check out those writers on their own regular, respective titles.

My first month of stories will essentially be one complete tale. FNSM is told from Peter's POV, MK will be from MJ's POV, and the third will focus on Aunt May. The main storyline will be resolved by Part 3, which will be in ASM. Now...will it have elements that tie into a larger crossover? Yes. One would hope they'll be interesting enough to prompt readers to continue reading the full arc. But if not, you'll still have a complete story, soup to nuts, just as if I were doing a three parter in FNSM. The only difference is that you'll get it in one month rather than three. I would like to think that's a good thing. But if you guys think that's a bad thing and don't want to read them, well...okay. I think that's kind of unfortunate, but it's your call.

PAD

Con Schedules

March 6, 1992

Not much room this week--my fault, since I was busy doing stupid stuff like earning a living to write the column about flawed heroes. That'll have to wait until next week.

So I'm taking the brief space allotted this go around to let people know of my convention schedule for the next few months, so that anyone who is so demented that they actually want to meet me can set aside that time.

March 14-15, I'll be at the Glasgow Comic Art Convention in Scotland. I was extremely excited when I was invited to this, since I've never attended a comic con abroad. Except the other day I spoke to a former resident of Glasgow who told me that it would be raining all the time, I wouldn't understand anything people said, and I'd be eating such foods as sheeps' intestines and blood pudding made from real blood. So now I'm a nervous wreck.

April 4 & 5 I'll be at Vulkon, a "Trek" con in Altamonte Springs in the Orlando area. Then the weekend of April 25th, I'll be in Oakland for Wondercon. Things are quiet (by choice) in May, and then the weekend of June 20th I'll be attending the Atlanta Fantasy Fair.

Updates as the occur.

(Peter David, writer of stuff, wonders what it would be like if the laws of geography could be overturned and Mike Tyson was put in a cell with Jeffrey Dahmer. After all, they do call him Iron Mike, and Dahmer needs iron in his diet.)

TOP TEN LIST OF THINGS THIS COLUMN SHOULD NOT DEAL WITH

February 28, 1992

I have been told the following three things, at various times, by various folks:

1) I shouldn't do top ten lists anymore.

2) I shouldn't write about anything other than comic books.

3) I should get in a spare column or two in case I run behind on deadlines.

Faced with these three requests (the last, obviously, from Don and Maggie), I can do no less than present:

TOP TEN LIST OF THINGS
THIS COLUMN SHOULD NOT DEAL WITH

10) Religion

9) Abortion Rights

8) My audio tapes proving Don Thompson's torrid 12 year affair with Louise Simonson

7) David Duke: America's last hope

6) Why do you always wake up in the morning with that dried crud in your eyes?

5) Tom DeFalco: The Man, the Myth, the Moustache

4) How to gracefully handle uncontrolled flatulence

3) The Holocaust: Was it simply a hoax, or in fact an evil Jewish scheme?

2) The link between reading CBG and abnormally high occurances of rectal itch.

And the Number One topic this column should not discuss:

1) Why do you see all these parking spaces with wheel chairs painted on them, and yet you never, ever see a wheel chair parked in one?

(Peter David, writer of stuff, would like to caution anyone who might be new to this column: IT'S JUST A GAG! If you take the Duke and Holocaust stuff seriously, you also have to lend credence to the joke about Don and Weezie being an item...which is right up there with the rumor of a few years back that Chris Claremont had married Terry Austin.)

Image: The Beginning

Webmaster's Note: For all the people who asked about posting something so things would be a bit calmer around here-- little did you know this was the next column in chronological order to be published.

February 21, 1992

I must admit...I'm a bit spoiled.

To backtrack--people within the industry had been hearing the "buzz" (just as the press release says) about Image comics for some weeks now. A group of friends banding together to form their own business (friends and business; now there's a volatile mix. I hope everyone's got good lawyers going over the contracts) and produce their own comics.

And it wasn't just that they were creating their own titles. It's that, to varying degrees, they were walking away from Marvel, citing an assortment of reasons, none of which was particularly flattering to that publisher.

This is nothing new, of course. Any number of creators have become disenchanted with one or both of "The Big Two" and moved either to already-existing independents or self-publishing.

That's where the part about my being spoiled comes in.

Creators such as Wendy and Richard Pini, Frank Miller, Alan Moore, Dave Sim...these are people with talent and vision whose muses have produced titles whose subject matter doesn't fit in with the Marvel and DC universes. Alan Moore did not cite disgust with DC's business practices and go off to develop a new character named "Muck Monster." He did "Big Numbers." The Pinis had so much confidence in their elves that they were driven to produce "Elfquest" themselves, which thrives to this day while Marvel's own "take" on elves, "Weirdworld," vanished without a trace a decade ago. (Ironically, Marvel's "Epic" imprint later reprinted "Elfquest.")

So when a creator boldly announces that he's off to start his or her own line, my presumption and hope is that it's going to be something new and visionary. It doesn't have to be highly marketable. Indeed, Marvel and DC's main flaw is that titles are expected to draw significantly higher sales than an independent would reasonably expect for his piece of the market pie. So "Hard Boiled" doesn't have to sell like "X-Men." No one expects it to.

If Todd said, "I've been dying to do a good romance comic," I'd be thrilled. If Erik said, "My life's goal is to produce a solid western," I'd be impressed.

So what's Image publishing?

Superheroes.

Young superheroes. SWAT Team superheroes. Young freelance superheroes. A group of superheroes.

I mean...haven't we got Marvel and DC for that? Why have X-Force clones when we've got X-Force?

I haven't seen them yet, of course. Perhaps there will be some startling vision that makes us see superheroes in ways we've never seen them before. It's possible. After all, not all superheroes are alike. "New Warriors" and "Watchmen" are nominally both about super teams, but are just a tad different in tone and style.

Can we get any idea in advance of publication as to whether the creators involved can pull it off, based on their previous work? Judging from their own press release, no, we can't get an idea. Why? Because of the rather alarming sentiments voiced by both Rob Liefeld and Erik Larson. (And let me make it clear that I like both the guys personally; it's what's said in the press release that I'm reacting to.)

"I think that in many ways we've been holding back," says Erik. "Most of our best creations have yet to be seen and will be seen under the Image imprint for the first time."

Excuse me? Holding back?

Am I the only one stunned by this comment?

If you're unimpressed by Erik's recent work, don't worry. If you can barely remember such characters of his as Shrapnel, take heart. It has nothing to do with lack of ability or talent. By his own admission, Erik's just been dogging it. "Holding back," as he says. Withholding his full imagination until a better opportunity came along.

Unless I'm inferring incorrectly here, the concept that fans are plunking down good money while figuring that a creator is giving it his all, every time out, doesn't factor in. "Oh, this villain I just thought up is too good for Marvel readers! I'll hold back!"

Rob echoes the sentiments. The release states that Rob "confirmed that his enthusiasm for the new line of comics has him bursting at the seams." (What a concept. "Rob, are you bursting at the seams?" "Why yes I am, thanks for asking. These 501s are tight.") And Rob goes on to add, "Not only do we get to share with fandom our finest creations, but we get to own them as well. What better incentive to do your best work."

Well, gee...lemme think. Pride in workmanship? Commitment to a creative ideal? Are the retailers and fans who bought millions of copies of "X-Force" being told that their support was insufficient incentive?

It gives me the same queasy feeling that I get when I see one of those detergent commercials, wherein Woman X says to Woman Y, "What, how can you still be using Dayglo on your clothes? Don't you know about Dayglo Plus?!" And she proceeds to tell us how wonderful the new product is, in comparison to the old and clearly inferior product. Which makes you wonder why, if the original product wasn't all that hot, you were ever buying it in the first place. You feel like a fool because you supported the initial detergent. And you start to wonder if you're simply being taken to the cleaners.

I keep trying to determine what the guys might actually mean rather than what they're saying. Perhaps they mean that pride of ownership is what they take the greatest joy in. But again, here's where my selfish viewpoint kicks in. I happen to think that some of my finest creations, purely in terms of merit and the effect they had on the audience, are works involving characters I did not create. So it saddens me a bit that the guys seem to feel that lack of ownership is a stumbling block to full pride in their work.

Or perhaps it's just all hype, the same way as when Stan Lee would say, "Marvel Comics, the greatest works since Bill Shakespeare discovered the pen!" Now does Stan really, truly believe that Lee/Kirby "Thor" or "FF," as good as they were, are on par with, say, "Hamlet?" I tend to doubt it. I doubt anyone really thinks Stan believes it. But quality hype is stuff that's so over-the-top that you know to take it with a grain of salt.

Furthermore, quality hype should not denigrate the previous work of those people whose work you're now trying to sell. Those "fans and retailers" being offered a chance to "get in on the ground floor of an exciting new comics universe" thought they were doing that when they bought into the newly revitalized Marvel mutant universe, or the new "Spider-Man" title...and are now being told that the creators themselves don't consider that to be work reflective of their best efforts.

Speaking of Stan and Jack, I can't pass up Erik's claim that Image is "The most exciting thing to happen to comics since the creation of the Marvel Universe." Oh, honestly, Erik. Has it occurred to you that if Stan and Jack and Steve had likewise been "holding back," there wouldn't have been a Marvel universe to bring you the measure of fame you now enjoy?

But you can point out that people like Jack Kirby and Steve Ditko did their best work for Marvel (and Seigel and Shuster for DC) and have not shared proportionately in the monies generated by their creations.

You would be correct.

The troubles of the various creators in those instances, and many others, have been well-documented. No one covered themselves with glory. On the one hand, creators complained about perfectly legitimate deals that, with 20-20 hindsight, they wish they hadn't made. They wanted a bigger piece of a pie to which they weren't legally entitled. On the other hand, corporations came across as heartless, inconsiderate, boorish and ungrateful to the people whose imaginations created the six-figure incomes some executives enjoy, the millions of dollars in licensing fees filling the company coffers.

It used to be that the only business considerations of comics were held by publishers. No more. We have a readership base that is made up, in large measure, of people who see comics not as entertainment but as investments. And it would seem that we are also developing a creative base that is wising up, as it were. Who owns the story is becoming as great, if not greater, a consideration than what the story is actually about.

If Rob said, "I'm planning to do a series about a team of hermaphrodite bisexuals, and in the first issue they go back in time and discover Jesus was a vampire," my feeling would be, "Yup. That sure wouldn't have flown at the Big Two." But there's no discussion of subject matter that would have run afoul of corporate standards. Instead the release talks of cross-over storylines, team-ups and a shared universe...all stuff that not only is S.O.P. at Marvel and DC, but occasionally gets flack over being a mere marketing ploy.

Instead the main reason that the guys seem excited, according to the release, is that they own the characters themselves and, if there's money to be made with those same filthy business considerations that people use to castigate Marvel and DC, then by gosh, the guys are going to make that money.

This is a significant consideration. Some headway has been made in the Big Two for creator consideration, but not enough. For example, all those Spider-Man and X-Force t-shirts...Todd didn't get a dime off those. That, to my mind, has been and continues to be unfair. But if there's a "Spawn" t-shirt comes out, the money goes to Todd...I presume.

Malibu publisher Dave Olbrich discusses the business end in the press release, stating that the deal, in addition to creative freedom, provides "better earning potential for artists and writers than ever before. Malibu is proud and privileged to help pioneer this new relationship from which the creators will clearly profit as much as the publisher company."

Profit indeed. Sources said that Malibu was offering Image anywhere from 70 to 95 percent of the line's net profits. In a separate conversation, Dave confirmed that the numbers were indeed "In that neck of the woods."

Now Eddie Murphy has commented (not to me, mind you) that an offer of sharing in net profits is "a monkey deal"...meaning you'd have to be as dumb as a monkey. (Putting aside that an infinite number of monkeys working for an infinite period could produce the works of Shakespeare...although probably not an issue of "Thor." Hey, maybe Stan was right after all.)

The point Murphy was making is that net means nothing. Gross is where the action is, and numbers can be crunched very easily so that when it comes time for the net profits, you wind up with nada. Hollywood bookkeeping is legendary for this (remember that "Coming to America," one of Paramount's big summer hits, was still in the red when Art Buchwald won his lawsuit).

Dave Olbrich, however, promises better things for Image. "I'm thinking in the long term," he told me. Although obviously a few months of non-existent net profits would benefit Malibu, it would most probably alienate Image, and Olbrich pointed out, "When you do things in the long term perspective, you have to keep that in mind. There's no long-term profit in violating trust."

Furthermore, Malibu and Image are agreeing ahead of time as to what type of expenses qualify as documentable costs, to reduce or eliminate the chances of unpleasant surprises. This is, of course, only a partial solution, since actual dollar amounts can't be predetermined. On the other hand, it eliminates the possibility of the sort of trickery in which movie studios engage. To make an outrageous example, Image isn't going to have to worry about going to Malibu and saying, "What's this part of the gross, where you took out $20,000 for limos," to which Malibu replies, "Oh, that's a legitimate expense. We hate to walk to work."

The bottom line for Olbrich is, he told me, that he's making every effort to deal in good faith since he's "not interested in winding up in a worse position than when I started."

I'm left, then, with only a couple of final thoughts. First, I can't wait to see what happens if one of the creators has a falling out with the other guys and wants to take his character over to, say, Dark Horse. Can he guest-star characters he helped co-create for Image? What happens to licensing, particularly if the split is acrimonious.

Secondly, Image is going to boil down to the question of: What's really selling? Is it the specific creators? Or is it actually the books that the creators are on? It seems the guys are attentive to the monetary bottom line. If that's a major consideration, then what's going to generate more money in the long run for Rob Liefeld: "X-Force," which he doesn't own, or "Youngblood," which he does. Which will bring in more for Erik: royalties on "Spider-Man" or "The Dragon?"

With the Marvel titles, they're backed up by thirty years of Marvel's aggressively cultivated audience base, distribution, promotion, marketing and editorial power, all of which helped to push the masterminds of Image to the forefront of fan attention. But fan attention is notoriously fickle. They'll be counting on that selfsame audience base to support their solo efforts, without the benefit of one of the Big Two pushing them. The fact that "Youngblood" sold 300,000 copies is meaningless. Sold to distributors does not equal sold to customers. Just ask the retailers at the recent Great Eastern convention who had "X-Men #1" in their 3 for a dollar boxes.

To a degree, I see Image right now as a skier just hitting the upward ramp of a jump. Hurled upward into the air by forces of which he is only a part, he glories in the freedom that is his.

Then he looks down.

The question is whether Image is going to wind up looking like Jean-Claude Killey, or the guy who tumbles ass-over-teakettle at the beginning of "Wide World of Sports."

As always, the fans will be the ultimate arbiters of that. Will the fans follow their faves? Or will it be like the movie actor who leaves Hollywood, goes to Broadway for a year and wins a Tony Award, only to return to Hollywood and discover that, as far as everyone there is concerned, he's dropped off the face of the earth for twelve months. Thus far, it's seemed as if Marvel and DC are Hollywood, and if you're not working there, then to many fans, you're out of work.

I, for one, am certainly hoping they succeed. Any guys who are nervy enough to go head-to-head against the Big Two in precisely the same genre that Marvel and DC have had a hammerlock for three decades certainly deserve the best wishes of anyone in a creative endeavor. It's been a long time since Marvel and DC have had any serious competition from anyone other than each other.

I will be very interested to see whether Image develops into a portrait...or a silhouette.

(Peter David, writer of stuff, also hears there will be a title called "Wildcats." How nice. I love Goldie Hawn movies.)

Commenting problems

There seems to be something preventing some commenting, including mine. If you're having similar problems, send mail here and we'll try to figure it out.

UPDATE: seems to be fixed now, so I'm closing the thread.

Ask the Wife

Along with the BID columns, I thought I might give you a chance to ask me questions.

Of course this comes with some conditions.

I won't get into either political or religious discussions or debates. It can make this kind of opportunity dissolve into nothing real fast.

There are certain projects that I cannot and may not discuss because of various non-disclosure agreements I have signed or the company has signed.

I will answer as time allows within the comments/questions. I am in the middle of getting ready for the Shoreleave Costume Contest among a few other things that I need to do.

Kathleen

The Webmaster Speaks

As Kathleen notes, Peter will be real busy for a bit. In the interim, I'll be breaking out the old But I Digress... columns we keep in the BIDcave for just such occasions.

Please note that I expect a certain degree of civility. I don't want to have to break out the lead shielding in the comment threads, and I'm much more inclined to keep things quiet so that Peter doesn't have to deal with the grief and he can concentrate on writing. To paraphrase Josh Lyman, Peter's a good man. He’s got a good heart. He doesn’t hold a grudge. That’s what he pays me for.*

If you need a refresher course, I recommend viewing the filmstrip Posting And You.

So let him finish, and he can have most of what he needs to have done in time for Shore Leave. (Did we mention he'd be at Shore Leave? Get your tickets now. Did I mention I'll probably be at Shore Leave too? Like anybody cares.)

* You may note that Peter does quite well at holding a grudge on his own. This is why I get paid so little.

The Wife Speaks

Peter will be AFTK (away from the keyboard) for the next couple of days as he works on a project that he has been working on for a while but needs his undivided attention for a few days.

I am asking everyone to play nice while he is not online.

thanks-
Kathleen

Spike Preview on "Newsarama"

Remember the Spike pages I put up here a while? Well, they're up and lettered and everything over on Newsarama.com, along with a short interview with me about the comic. Feel free to check it out.

PAD

Even MORE censorship

Wired News: Blue Law Makes Webmasters See Red

Under penalty of federal prison terms, new interpretations of existing regulations would require sites that feature photographs or videos of sexual activity to keep records confirming that performers are of legal age.

So if you're having trouble seeing profiles on Gay.com or even Yahoo.com, this is why... Gay.com has announced that they've had to take down ALL photos until they're checked, because the maximum penalty is 10 years in prison per violation.

UPDATE 9/29/05: Closing comments, as this thread attracts a lot of adult spam.

Star Trek pledge of allegiance gets kid suspended

We'll make a deal: we'll stop desecrating the flag and the Pledge of Allegiance when they stop desecrating the Constitution and the Bill of Rights.

Star Trek pledge of allegiance gets kid suspended: "Cory Doctorow: A young Star Trek fan was suspended from school for reciting his own version of the Pledge of Allegiance, in which he pledged to the United Federation of Planets. His mom has posted the hilarious story:

'So, anyway. What did he do?' I picked at the hem of my sweatshirt, looked just to the right of her face. I couldn't meet her eyes. I felt nervous. I felt underdressed. I wondered where 8 was.

So she told me what he did. And as she told me, I started to laugh. I didn't laugh a little, either, but I belly-laughed and grabbed my stomach. My son stood with his class this morning, put small right hand over heart, faced the American flag, and recited his own personal pledge of allegiance:

I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United Federation of Planets, and to the galaxy for which it stands, one universe, under everybody, with liberty and justice for all species.

'Mrs. Jaworski. This isn't humorous. The Pledge is an extremely important and patriotic moment each morning in the classroom. I am ashamed of your son's behavior, and I hope you are, too.'

Link"

(Via Boing Boing.)

Your tax dullards at work

It's baaaaaack. The proposed brand new amendment that makes a mockery out of the First One:

"The Congress shall have power to prohibit the physical desecration of the flag of the United States.

I mean, this concept should be elementary. This should be American Citizenship 101. The flag stands for a nation with freedoms, including the freedom to burn the flag in protest.

I've always said that I wasn't a fan of flag-burning as a means of protest, because it's such a (pardon the expression) incendiary visual that whatever other point you wanted to make is going to be obscured by that action. So I don't think it's terribly effective in terms of convincing others. But the Congress...you know, the ones who shall make no law interfering with freedom of expression?...apparently didn't get the memo.

And hey...all those articles of clothing with the flag adorning it? Notebooks? Forget it. What about decals or bumper stickers, with the image of the American flag getting spattered by mud and dirt. Pull that SUV over, fella...you with that foul bumpersticker and your girlfriend with the stars and stripes bikini top! You're under arrest courtesy of Congress!

You can't burn the flag of the United States by burning a representation of it any more than you can burn the Declaration of Independence by burning a copy of it.

You can, however, incinerate the concept of freedom of speech in this country by making a constitutional amendment banning a form of expression for the worst possible reason: It upsets people. No other reason. No one's reputation stands to be defamed, no money lost. No child's delicate mind is going to be threatened from the sight. No panics from "fire" falsely cried in a crowded theater (indeed, nowadays the major challenge is finding a theater that's crowded.) There's no cover here. It's naked censorship, a throttling of free expression by the very governmental body that's sworn to protect it.

Plus the GOP's gotta love it because liberals must either embrace the notion--which is antithetical to anyone who has a grasp of free speech, to say nothing of making them indistinguishable from conservatives--or else they must spend countless man hours explaining why they value free expression above cheap political opportunism...and lose the vote of every schmuck who can't wrap his tiny mind around defending to the death one's right to express an opinion that that same person may find personally repellant. Puts them in a nice position for the next election.

And, of course, anyone opposed to a flag burning amendment is deemed "out of touch" with the citizenry. You know what? I'd rather be out of touch with the citizenry than out of touch with the concept of free expression.

PAD

UPDATE:

Specific quotes:

'Ask the men and women who stood on top of the Trade Center,' said Rep. Randy (Duke) Cunningham, R-Calif. 'Ask them and they will tell you: pass this amendment.'

'If the flag needs protection at all, it needs protection from members of Congress who value the symbol more than the freedoms that the flag represents.' said Rep. Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y., whose district includes the site of the former World Trade Center. --GH

Greatest American?

I seem to have come in late on this whole "Who's the Greatest American?" thing. I haven't seen any lists or anything, so I'm just talking off the top of my head.

Even after all the intervening centuries, and even with what we know of some of the more dubious activities in his private life, I'd still go with Thomas Jefferson.

Runners up to my mind would include FDR, Jonas Salk, Martin Luther King, and my wife. I'd also put my mom and dad, but they weren't born in this country so I'm not sure they'd be eligible.

PAD

War of the Worlds--Law suits?

Does anyone know if there were law suits as a result of the famous radio broadcast that panicked Americans across the country?

Because I'm thinking that if the same thing happened now, the number of law suits filed would be so staggering, that the radio network would be put out of business, the sponsors would all have pulled their support, and the Mercury Theater would have been sued into bankruptcy and beyond.

I tell ya, you just can't terrorize people and get away with it anymore.

PAD

The new Fallen Angel Artist

It's already been announced at www.newsarama.com, but I figure we should stay on top of things here as well. JK Woodward will be the new artist for "Fallen Angel," and a sample of his work is below. There seems to be a misconception by some Newsarama denizens that this is merely a cover and they're withholding judgment until they see the pencils. No, this is Woodward's style. The entire book will have this painted look to it. What you see here is what you'll be getting cover-to-cover.

Am I my brother's website?

The answer, of course, is no, because I've been to my brother's website, and it's got much spiffier pictures than I do.

Wally David, for whom Wally the God Boy was named, has set up his website at http://www.wallydavid.com. Among other things, he's a top flight photographer and I invite you all to go and check out his material.

PAD

Father's Day

Spending a relatively quiet "Father's Day." It's interesting in that it's two-way: On the one hand, naturally I call my dad and wish him the best of the day. On the other hand, I've got my daughters calling me wishing me the same. Not to go all "Lion King," but you get a real feeling of the circle of life. That it's more than the simple status of being a father, but more of a sense of being part of an ongoing sense of responsibility and commitment.

I remember when I was a kid, falling asleep in the back seat of the car when we'd be coming home from a long trip. I did so with nary a concern, utterly confident that I would wake up safe and sound back home. These days, of course, I'm in the front seat, with my daughters peacefully dozing in the back of the car, equally trusting that I'll get them safely to their destination. Metaphorically, I suppose, that's my job for all aspects of their lives.

Hell of a responsibility. Then again, I knew the job was dangerous when I took it.

PAD

Set the clock

Let's time, from this moment, how long it takes to find an article where the Downing Street Memo is referred to as "Downingate."

PAD

Spike Coverage in TV Guide

I believe it's been mentioned elsewhere, but I thought I'd let you guys know that the new issue of TV Guide features a half-page write-up on page 12 about the "Angel" and "Spike" comics coming from IDW. They feature the cover from my "Spike" one-shot and a capsule description of the plot. No, my name isn't mentioned, but that's fine; it's not like my name is going to mean anything to TV Guide readers. Meantime IDW got a bunch of new orders in for the book that they directly attribute to the TV Guide write-up.

Best of all, there's going to be a full page ad on the inside cover of the one-shot for "Fallen Angel," so it'll be a nice way to let potential new readers about the book's existence.

Very shortly you'll be seeing artwork from the new artist, either here or on Newsarama. You won't believe how gorgeous it looks.

PAD

Okay, but...what if he is...?

Florida State football player Wyatt Sexton was arrested while claiming to be God. According to the wire piece:

"Police said Sexton "appeared to be under the influence of some unknown narcotic or alcohol." Hospital officials said they didn't have any information on him. Once at the hospital, Sexton continued to say he was God and that he didn't know why he was in the hospital, Lyne wrote."

Okay, but...what if he really IS God?

I mean, there are people who firmly believe that possession by Satan is a real condition, and requires exorcism to boot. So why is it any more farfetched to believe that, hey, God decided to drop by for a visit? Or...hey! Maybe he was overthrown and condemned to live in a human's body. That would be cool. I think I'll write that.

PAD

'Tis a puzzlement

In considering possible storylines for "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man," I thought of the notion of bringing in Spider-Man 2099 and perhaps even following up on the one-shot I wrote in which they met.

But I have to admit, I was gunshy. After all, I did a storyline in "Captain Marvel" in which we time-traveled both to 2099 and "Future Imperfect," and it got me slammed for writing stories that required intimate knowledge of everything I'd written in the past. They were roundly criticized as proof that I was far more interested in producing insular and self-referential material instead of stories that were broadly accessible to new readers.

So "Exiles" announces a storyline going to 2099 and the world of "Future Imperfect," and it's greeted with excitement and cheers.

What the hell--?!?

Understand, I don't resent the creative team for going in that direction. Personally, I'm kind of flattered. But I'll tell ya, if I do bring Miguel back for a drop-in on Peter Parker, I won't be real thrilled the first time I read commentary claiming that I'm just recycling old ideas.

PAD

If Saddam Hussein is smart...

...he asks for a change of venue and gets his trial moved to Los Angeles.

Seriously, I don't know how to feel about the Michael Jackson verdict. Part of me wants to think, "I'm so glad it turns out he's not guilty; maybe there really isn't anything to these charges. Which would be nice because it means he's not a pedophile and children weren't being traumatized." And on the other hand I think about the impressive percentage of celebrities walking away from crimes in California and wonder if--despite the jury's claims to the contrary--the cult of celebrity really does render them invulnerable. After all, Nicole Simpson reportedly told friends that she was convinced her husband would kill her and get away with it.

I swear, if Phil Spector gets away with having shot Lana Clarkson...I mean, unlike all the other participants in all the other cases, her I actually met and talked with...the day she died, in fact. It's not like we became fast buds or anything, but for the brief time I met her, she was very sweet and seemed so full of life, and that guy claims she went to his house and killed herself out of the blue? It's an outrage. So let's see what happens with that.

PAD

Batman Begins

Sturgeon's Law is that 90 percent of everything is crap. So the obvious corollary to that is that 10 percent of everything is gold.

Since no less an authority than Isaac Asimov stated (to me, in fact) that Sturgeon's Law is immutable, then we can assume that 90 percent of everything done with Batman in the past seven decades is crap, and 10 percent is gold.

So what would happen if someone went through and cherry picked all the stuff from that ten percent?

Well, you'd have "Batman Begins," a slightly overlong (they could've trimmed ten minutes), occasionally bewilderingly filmed (the fight sequences seemed to have been edited by putting the film into a blender, leaving the top off the blender, and starting it up) but ultimately satisfying and superior film that kickstarts a franchise that had sunk under camp and an abundance of superstar supervillains.

Lifting the best creations and concepts from everyone from Denny O'Neil to Frank Miller, "Batman Begins" traces--as the title suggests--Batman's origins. A dissolute Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne, traumatized by his parents' death and subsequent events involving Joe Chill (rightfully restored as the Wayne's killer), submerges himself in the criminal element and winds up being trained in the way of the ninja by Qui Gon Jin on behalf of Ras Al Ghul (although there's some twists involved which, frankly, I saw coming a mile off, but still, they were nicely thought out.) Bruce eventually returns to Gotham City, where he becomes involved with his former sweetie who is, to her credit, neither a ditz nor homicidal. Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) arranges for Driving Mr. Batman, Michael Caine clucks concernedly as Alfred, and the Scarecrow is played by someone who isn't Patrick McGoohan, which was a disappointment to me but I lived with it.

It's amazing the stuff we've come to accept. I remember when fans went ballistic over the fact that Batman was wearing armor instead of tights. I'll betcha that absolutely no one will be complaining about it this time around. Bale adopts Michael Keaton's soft-voiced, whispering Batman style, Gotham City looks like a real city instead of a strange Gothic thing, and--in a novel twist for a Batman movie--the plot actually hangs together. The ONLY deficiency is the music, which is adequate enough I suppose, but you won't come out of it humming signature themes the way you did when Danny Elfman was scoring it.

Overall a terrific relaunch of the Bat franchise.

PAD

The role Angelina Jolie was meant to play

Kath and I saw "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" over the weekend (I also saw "Shark Boy and Lava Girl" along with Ariel. Ariel loved it. As for me, well, I'm not exactly the target audience, so let's just say that Ariel loved it and leave it there.)

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith," basically "True Lies" meets "War of the Roses," centers on two accomplished married assassins whose every day lives are drenched in boredom because neither of them knows about the other's true calling. As with any marriage based upon a foundation of lies, it's crumbling, until crossed paths reveals their secrets to each other and a shooting war breaks out that makes Donald and Ivana Trump look like the Clampetts.

The celebrated real-life chemistry of Jolie and Pitt translates to the screen and surmounts the real problem that always faces an audience dealing with a film where everyone is fundamentally amoral--who the hell do you root for? Because the two of them are clearly, deep down, obviously truly, madly, deeply in love with each other, you root for love to conquer all...even when all consists of a virtual army of assassins.

And yet, I came away from this film with the same reaction I had to the two "Lara Croft" films: Angelina Jolie is simply getting herself in shape for the part she is absolutely born to play--

Modesty Blaise.

Modesty deserves better than the ghastly 1960s film, and the marginally better but staggeringly on-the-cheap "My Name is Modesty" that was shot in two weeks' time in Romania (I even recognized one of the actors from when he was in one of my "Trancers" films). Given a good script, Jolie has the perfect combination of exoticness (is that a word?) and kick-ass fearlessness that Modesty Blaise requires. As for Willie Garvin? Hugh Laurie. Laurie's tall, British, has rugged good looks, and the range to bring the role more gravity than just some standard issue British pretty-boy.

Angelina Jolie for Modesty, Hugh Laurie as Willie. Oh, and Michael Caine as Tarrant. Somebody. Please. Make this movie. Let Peter O'Donnell see one decent dramatization of his heroine before he shuffles off.

PAD

Remembering "Blade Runner"

Just happened to stumble over an airing of "Blade Runner" on IFC, which I haven't seen in years. It was the Director's Cut, made quickly obvious by the lack of Harrison Ford's obviously recorded-under-protest voice over narrative. Ariel was watching it with me as I tried to explain to her that a lot of stuff you pretty much take as standard tropes in SF and movies first turned up in "Blade Runner."

I still remember when I first saw it: At an advance screening for licensees, since Marvel published a "Blade Runner" tie in comic book. The volume was cranked up to the roof and beyond, and I came out of the theater so deaf that it put me off the film for years because I associated it with ringing in my ears. But I finally caught up with it again when the DC came out on laserdisk, and boy, was it a revelation once I could truly appreciate the film itself.

I still remember when they first introduced a gigantic screen in Times Square that had huge commercial images on it. I stood there looking up at it, and I heard more than one person muttering around me "Blade Runner" before shaking their heads and walking away. One step closer to a dystopian, bleak society of perpetual rain and darkness?

PAD

Batman Begins this Monday

I've been invited to an advance screening of "Batman Begins" this Monday evening. When I get home, I'll write up a fast, spoiler-free review...presuming there's anyone left on this board who HASN'T seen it yet, thanks to the preview screenings at recent Wizard conventions.

PAD

Need a Florida Lawyer

Will anyone who practices law in Florida and would be willing to help me out for pretty much no money--but, hey, lotsa free comics and some autographed books--contact me off-list at padguy@aol.com.

Thanks.

PAD

Addendum from PAD: No, there's nothing wrong with the "comment" function. I deleted all responses and blocked off commentary because this topic doesn't require discussion, and it sure doesn't need another round of pathetic attention-craving idiocy. If someone can help, contact me via e-mail. End of discussion.

KEEPING BUSY

I've turned in the second draft for the CGI animated film, "Gene Roddenberry's Starpoint Academy." The heartening thing is that the producers, IDT Entertainment, have just signed a two year, multipicture deal with 20th Century Fox. So that increases somewhat the actual odds of the picture being made. That would be exceptionally cool, especially since they're looking to try and build it up as a series rather than a one-off. Of coure, it's showbiz, so anything can happen, but if my involvement should continue through to the end (so that the credits read "Screenplay by Peter David" as opposed to "Screenplay by Peter David and six other guys") that will put me in pretty good position for continued participation.

At the moment, working as fast as my little fingers can fly on finishing the next "New Frontier" novel. Usually when I write novels, the beginning is very slow going and then as the story moves along, I start to write faster and faster as if I can barely keep up with the story unspooling in my head. In this instance I've been barreling along almost from the beginning, so hopefully that will be reflected in the final MS.

PAD

First Look Friendly Neighborhood Spider-man villain

Meet Tracer.

The Because-You-Demanded-It Cowboy Pete wrap up: LOST and ALIAS

Y'know, the ol' cowboy isn't exactly sure WHY you guys are so anxious to know what he thinks of TV shows. In fact, when he used to do this regularly, people complained, "Gee, all he talks about are TV shows." Sometimes the cowboy thinks that what fans want is whatever they don't have at the moment.

And since we don't have LOST or ALIAS 'cept in reruns right now, lessee what we had for the season enders.

LOST: Okay, here's the thing. The joy of "Lost" is that it's the series that has most often been able to surprise me. They do stuff that is just impossible to see coming, but once it happens, you go, "Of course! How could I NOT have seen that coming!"

That didn't happen here.

Before the show even started, I was convinced that they wouldn't get the hatch open until the very, very end. And I'm sorry, but I've been an original "Trek" fan for far too long to be remotely surprised at the abrupt demise of Professor Redshirt, although his "extras are people too" speech was a nice touch. Still, the "Lost" I'm accustomed to would have confounded my expectations by having the hatch open in the first ten minutes, or had Professor Redshirt play a major part in the proceedings and survive.

The other major twist was the abduction of the kid, and although I didn't see it coming immediately, Kathleen figured it out the instant that Delenn realized that the stolen baby wasn't going to do her any good. So when the guys from "Deliverance" came cruising up, the shocking twist was well telegraphed in Casa Cowboy. The only development we didn't nail going in was watching Hurly sprint across the airport, and perhaps there was some point to it other than padding out the episode, but damned if I know or care what it was. If I want to see a fat guy dash headlong through terminals, I'll arrange for a connecting flight at O'Hare and bring a hand mirror.

Understand, I'm not howling for answers to the show's secrets. I'm perfectly happy to watch it unfold at its leisurely pace, for the character stories have remained sufficiently engaging to keep me aboard. What torqued me here is not that not a single one of the questions was definitively answered. What torqued me was that I was certain none of them would be definitively answered, and that was the case. LOST is the first show in years to keep surprising me, and I just hated that the big two hour season finale failed to do so.

ALIAS: I think I speak for a great many ALIAS fans when I say...WTF?!?

I mean, I know this program has had its occasional dalliance with science fiction/fantasy elements through the incessant obession with Rimbaldi, the combination Da Vinci and Nostradamus about whom we've learned little and--ultimately--cared less. And yes, I suppose you can say I was surprised, which in the case of LOST is a good thing. Surprise is good. The unexpected is good.

But I absolutely cannot parse what was going on. Now I admit, I missed an episode here and there, so there may be key pieces of information that I don't have. But as near as I can tell, Rimbaldi's endgame was to transform the entire world into zombies? Again, I say WTF? A giant red corona of energy hanging over the city transforms the finale into Night of the Living Syd? It was like watching somebody else's finale. I kept waiting for Sydney to run around a corner and crash headlong into Buffy or Angel.

Were there good moments? Yes, some, scattered through, the high point being, "Cut the white wire!" BLAM! "Syd, cut the blue wire." But overall, maybe this was why I was saying months ago that if we never heard from Rimbaldi again, it would be too soon. I had a feeling that if the whole thing was really followed through upon, we'd end up with a B-movie mishmash as we had here.

And I was sitting there thinking, "There's no way Vaughn makes it out of this episode in one piece." And then I was pleasantly surprised to find that, No, he did make it through. And they're driving, and suddenly I'm thinking, "Okay...things are too quiet. This is not good." And bam.

Who knows? Maybe Sydney will wake up and discover that it's all been a double fake-out since she suddenly got her life back, that all the episodes that happened since that point never actually occurred, and the two years she thought she lost are now back again. Or maybe Vaughn will wake up and discover himself at the bottom of a large shaft, and he looks up and Locke is there looking down, both of them saying, "Who the hell are you?"

Will I be back next season? Probably, because let's face it, no one does a cliffhanger like JJ Abrams. And I'll be very curious to see if partway through the season, Syd is put into a coma by a bad guy so that Jennifer Garner can gestate while Nadia takes on the heavy lifting to avenge her fallen sister. But so help me, I may bail if the name "Rimbaldi" is mentioned even once, unless it's preceded by the words, "Hello, my name is..."

PAD

My two and only two responses to the new village idiot

Yes, you all know who he is. I will now respond to the two questions he's been howlingly repeating because, y'know...why not? And the rub of it is, he probably won't understand either answer.

Response number one: The fact that I have not disagreed with his assessment of my veracity is not an indicator that what he says has worth. Rather, it's an indicator of my belief that his opinion of me is, in fact, worthless.

Response number two: He has demanded to know how any of our individual lives are hurt or worsened because of the actions of George W. Bush...a man who needlessly launched a war that's resulted in the deaths of 1600+ Americans and thousands upon thousands of innocent Iraqis. The answer is quite simple:

"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of they friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
--John Donne

And thus am I Donne with the clod.

PAD

Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics

Hitting the newswires is an article that purports to prove one thing but actually proves another.

"Sen. John F. Kerry's grade average at Yale University was virtually identical to President Bush's record there, despite repeated portrayals of Kerry as the more intellectual candidate during the 2004 presidential campaign."

Basically, Kerry's Yale cume average was 76 while Bush's was 77.

The thing is, if you read the article, Kerry tanked his Freshman year, with several D's and one failed course. But during his subsequent three years his grades steadily improved. He was never cum laude or anything, but the point is...he learned from his mistakes.

Whereas Bush started off with an average of 77 and didn't deviate from it for four years. Kerry improved exponentially. Bush didn't.

But, hey, what else to expect from the supposedly liberal-leaning press than an article that essentially tries to say that Kerry is no smarter than Bush.

PAD

TONY TONY TONY

Well, I thought that was certainly the best Tonys in a while. Which, of course, means that the ratings will come back and report that it was the least-watched Tonys ever.

I'm not sure how "Spamalot" won best musical when other shows won best book and best score, but hey, I'm not knocking it. However it is infuriating that they had the absolute least time allotted to them to make their acceptance speech. Erid Idle never even got to say anything.

Hugh Jackman and Aretha Franklin in a duet: Can't ask for better than that. However, I am tempted to put a sequence in "Spider-Man" wherein Wolverine wanders by Aunt May watching TV, and he asks her what she's watching. She tells him it's the Tonys. "Who's the guy singing and dancing around?" "That's Hugh Jackman." And Wolverine snorts and says, "Wouldn't catch ME doing high kicks."

PAD

FALLEN ANGEL TO IDW

We had wanted to wait on an announcement to have the final contracts signed (they're not) and having sample artwork from the new artist (we don't). But Bob Wayne just announced at the Wizard Philly Con that "Fallen Angel" is going to IDW, so the timing ship has just sailed from the harbor.

So yeah, "Fallen Angel" will be relaunching in December (we hope) from IDW. The first storyline will reveal the Angel's true origin and, thus, will be an ideal jumping on point for anyone who hasn't read it until now.

More details will be available shortly in a detailed interview on Newsarama.

PAD

Harlan Ellison's "War of the Words"

At Enigma Con recently, Harlan Ellison had this to say about the upcoming "War of the Worlds":

"What annoys me is that Spielberg is such an egomaniac these days that it has to be 'Steven Spielberg's War of the Worlds. No, you puss-bag. It's H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds, and it wouldn't kill you to put his f--king name on it."

I think Harlan's right about that. I certainly think the authors of such classics deserve to be acknowledged up front.

On the other hand, I can just see William Shakespeare seeing the Baz Luhrmann-directed "William Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet," calling his agent, and saying "Get my name the hell off this thing."

PAD

OUT THIS WEEK--HULK #82

Yes, that's right, #81 ran so late that #82--which was on time--came out a week later.

So whad'ja think?

PAD

The Plot

I cannot recommend highly enough "The Plot: The Secret Story of the Protocols of the Elders of Zion." Will Eisner's last work, it is a remarkable history of a hoax that's had more staying power than the Loch Ness monster, and a far higher body count. Read how "Protocols," a supposed secret history of how Jews plan to take over the world, has been discredited over and over and over again...and yet, like the hydra of myth, every time you whack off one of its head, another two sprout.

PAD

Feeling the Hulk love

Thought you guys might be interested in the really positive write-up the latest Hulk received in aintitcoolnews.com. Plus I finally figured out how to insert links, and I'm having fun doing that.

http://www.aintitcoolnews.com/display.cgi?id=20354

PAD

No Wonder...

...I wasn't able to get the Babylon 5 item I was bidding on a month or so back. People are bidding nearly five grand FOR A PIECE OF TOAST. Don't believe me? Check it yourself:

http://search.ebay.com/Lost-toast_W0QQfkrZ1QQfromZR8

PAD