Something on par with the sort of stupid discussion you'd hear in a bar or see at a convention.
Plus I've watched a few too many of those "Best (fill in the blanks) in movies."
So I've decided we should collectively put together a list of the Twenty Best Ass-Kickings in movies
I took the precaution of running a goggle search on the subject and, sure enough, found someone had already put together such a list. But I consider his choices, for the most part, inadequate. So I want to put together a list that kicks the ass of the other ass-kicking list.
What do I mean by ass-kickings? I mean a fight where someone gets his head handed to him, sometimes literally. An ass-kicking that is iconic. That when you mention it, it immediately calls the moment to mind and you go, Oh God, yes, I remember that. It shouldn't be a fight that's going along fairly evenly matched and then someone wins at the end, such as the battle between Robin Hood and Sir Guy in "The Adventures of Robin Hood." An ass-kicking should, for the most part, be someone who is rapidly outmatched and gets more so by the moment. It can even be that the fight winds up turning out the other way, but in the course of it someone still gets their ass kicked.
At this point, I'm not putting them in any order. Eventually, once I get a sense of the room, I will.
There are my thoughts:
BLADE RUNNER: Rick Dekkard versus Roy Batty. Bad enough that he almost dies between the muscular thighs of Darryl Hannah (which, let's face it, there's worse ways to go.) But Dekkard can muster little more than one long retreat before winding up at Batty's mercy. If Batty had let go, Dekkard's ass is little more than grass.
MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL: King Arthur vs. the Black Knight. Rarely has someone's ass been more comprehensively kicked than the Black Knight. Yet even more famous than his dismemberment is his absolute refusal to acknowledge it. "It's just a flesh wound," has entered the language as an example of denial at its greatest.
RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: Indiana Jones versus the German Mechanic. Barely edging out Indy getting thrown out the front of a moving truck, this wins because in the truck sequence, Indy rallies and comes out on top. In the mechanic battle, staged in front of a moving airplane, Indy winds up flat on his back and helpless, and only wins because the mechanic didn't think to look behind him when a propeller swung his way.
EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Luke vs. Vader. For much of the time, Luke seems overmatched, and yet there are brief moments where you think he's going to rally. So it's all the more crushing and shocking when he loses his hand. What kicks the ass-kicking to an entirely new level is that, not only is he beaten physically, but the revelation of who did it crushes him spiritually.
WITNESS: John Book versus a bunch of punks. Harrison Ford finally on the right side of a whupping. When a bunch of smart mouth teens hassle the Amish, Book advances on them despite the caution that, "It's not our way." His terse, "But it's MY way" underscores why he and Rachel will never make it together as he proceeds to issue the teens a single warning and then tap dances on their faces. Speaking of tap dancing...
CLOCKWORK ORANGE: Alex vs. the Author. The only ass-kicking that is as famed for its perverse use of "Singing in the Rain" as the actual ass-kicking itself.
ALIENS: Ripley vs. the Alien Queen. An ass-kicking that announces itself in the unforgettable moment of Ripley emerging in a power loader and bellowing, "Get away from her, you bitch!" No longer running, Ripley lays all her nightmares of aliens to rest by smacking, pummeling, burning, and crushing the queen before chucking her out of the ship, and all it costs her is a sneaker.
ROCKY II: Rocky vs. Apollo Creed. The other list acknowledges Apollo being killed by Ivan in Rocky III, but I'm sorry, if you're going to have a Rocky-related ass-kicking, then Rocky should be participating. The second film takes it because it's a rare double ass-kicking, with both boxers desperately crawling back to their corners.
DIE HARD: John McClane versus Karl. Pity poor Karl: He was just trying to avenge the death of his brother. Too bad his brother was one of the bad guys. Particularly memorable since it's an ass-kicking accompanied by what one would hear in a real-life ass-kicking, namely an almost non-stop string of profanity. I wouldn't be surprised if Bruce Willis ad libbed some of that family unfriendly diatribe as he pounds on Alexander Godunov before leaving him hanging by the neck. Props to Karl for surviving and almost having the last laugh...before getting his ass kicked yet again courtesy of an alert cop blowing him away.
TERMINATOR II: The Terminator versus the T1000. Literally getting his head handed to him, Arnold's iconic bionic gets slammed in the head repeatedly by an I-beam, then pummeled with a metal rod before getting speared through the chest. Yeah, sure, he blows up the T1000 at the end, but that hardly erases the thorough thrashing he took at the hands of the far smaller, but far meaner, T1000.
I have some other thoughts, but let's see what you guys come up with.
PAD
Posted by Peter David at July 1, 2008 08:03 PM | TrackBack | Other blogs commentingWould the Westley-Inigo duel in "The Princess Bride" be apropos? Or even, perhaps, Inigo-Rugen? I'd vote for the former over the latter, because it becomes so clear that Westley is just toying with him -- in a relatively kind way compared to others on your list, but toying nonetheless.
One could argue that the closing portion of the Luke-Vader duel (once Luke's enraged) qualifies, but I don't know if using only part of a fight is valid.
Interesting idea!
TWL
Max Rogatansky in The Road Warrior. He's broken enough in the beginning; by the end he needs a body cast and a good plastic surgeon.
And Mal Reynolds in the Firefly episode "War Stories." I think I'd rather have the Road Warrior treatment. Serenity, too, he looks like hell, with the bloody eye and all. In fact, I think he gets his ass handed to him in at least half the episodes.
For a wicked good bar brawl, try "Trainspotting." An absolutely incredible book, and a very decent movie of it.
Seconding Westley/Inigo in The Princess Bride. Because, seriously, "I'm not left-handed either" = SHEER AWESOME.
Kill Bill Vol. 1 - Beatrix Vs. the Crazy 88's/Gogo Yubari/O-Ren Ishii.
Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children - Cloud et. al. Vs. Bahamut-SIN. Yes it counts!
The Machine Girl - the entire freaking movie.
The Christmas Story - Ralphie vs. Scott Farkus. Face it. This is one of movies true ass kickings and deserves to be listed amongst the best of the best. Remember Ralphie's "speaking in tongues" bit as he pummeled the larger and stronger Scott?
Fight Club - Tyler Durden Vs Him Self
Kill Bill volume 1 - The Bride Vs School Girl
Kill Bill volume 2 - Beitris Kiddo (the Bride) Vs Elle Driver
Last Dragon - Bruce Leroy Vs Sho-Nuf
And Mal Reynolds in the Firefly episode "War Stories."
Oh, hell yes.
TWL
First of all, the above movies are of the status titled "AWESOME." But, I believe that these could be just a tad bit better.
1.The Breakfast Club
2.Ferris Bueller's Day Off
3.Original Star Wars Trilogy
4.Get Smart
BATMAN: It's Batman Vs. The Joker, the Big Climax of the film, the Final Battle...and The Joker doesn't even get a punch in. To me, that's good; The Joker is not one for fisticuffs, and every time he's engaged in one in other sources it's felt out of place for him. Here, the Clown Prince of Crime relies on firearms, underlings, and trickery to fight the Caped Crusader, but when face to face with Batsy's fists of fury, he comes out much the worse for wear...and he's STILL SMILING at the end of it! A memorable asskicking, to be sure.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: For most of the film, everyone's favorite lean green teens had accquited themselves admirably against the Foot Ninjas. Enter the Shredder. Dressed in his razor-sharp armor, wielding a fittingly pointed glaive, and determined to show these "Turtle Freaks" who's boss, ol' Shred Head goes in and does JUST THAT. Each of the turtles try and fail to take him down, instead getting their reptilian asses handed to them on a plate. Their asses get kicked so badly, Shredder sees no harm in simply standing and waiting as the Turtles huddle around trying to figure out a way to defeat him!
HULK: There is no point during his 45-odd minute rampage against the army that the Hulk is genuinely threatened. Oh sure, they send in the tanks and the jets and the footsoldiers, but the closest they ever come to hurting the Green Goliath is taking him into the upper atmosphere, and all THAT does is give him some frosted highlights. What does the Hulk do to the army? Toss their tanks around like paperweights, ride their jets like broncos, and generally make the military look like a bunch of overpaid suits helpless in the face of his sheer, unadulterated POWER. If THAT isn't an asskicking, I don't know WHAT is.
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Lex Luthor hates Superman. Across thousands of comics, several cartoons, dozens of novels, and, of course, a quintet of movies, this fact has not changed. Yet rarely if ever has the Greatest Criminal Mind of Our Time gotten to take Superman's ass to the cleaners as handily as he does in one of the tensest, most heartwrenching beatdowns put to film. Stripped of his powers and general health by an island filled with Kryptonite, Supes must be commended for still trying to put up a fight against Lex and his goon squad. Alas, all he can muster is a meager defense, and against a fighting-mad Lex Luthor, that's just not enough.
BATMAN: It's Batman Vs. The Joker, the Big Climax of the film, the Final Battle...and The Joker doesn't even get a punch in. To me, that's good; The Joker is not one for fisticuffs, and every time he's engaged in one in other sources it's felt out of place for him. Here, the Clown Prince of Crime relies on firearms, underlings, and trickery to fight the Caped Crusader, but when face to face with Batsy's fists of fury, he comes out much the worse for wear...and he's STILL SMILING at the end of it! A memorable asskicking, to be sure.
TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: For most of the film, everyone's favorite lean green teens had accquited themselves admirably against the Foot Ninjas. Enter the Shredder. Dressed in his razor-sharp armor, wielding a fittingly pointed glaive, and determined to show these "Turtle Freaks" who's boss, ol' Shred Head goes in and does JUST THAT. Each of the turtles try and fail to take him down, instead getting their reptilian asses handed to them on a plate. Their asses get kicked so badly, Shredder sees no harm in simply standing and waiting as the Turtles huddle around trying to figure out a way to defeat him!
HULK: There is no point during his 45-odd minute rampage against the army that the Hulk is genuinely threatened. Oh sure, they send in the tanks and the jets and the footsoldiers, but the closest they ever come to hurting the Green Goliath is taking him into the upper atmosphere, and all THAT does is give him some frosted highlights. What does the Hulk do to the army? Toss their tanks around like paperweights, ride their jets like broncos, and generally make the military look like a bunch of overpaid suits helpless in the face of his sheer, unadulterated POWER. If THAT isn't an asskicking, I don't know WHAT is.
SUPERMAN RETURNS: Lex Luthor hates Superman. Across thousands of comics, several cartoons, dozens of novels, and, of course, a quintet of movies, this fact has not changed. Yet rarely if ever has the Greatest Criminal Mind of Our Time gotten to take Superman's ass to the cleaners as handily as he does in one of the tensest, most heartwrenching beatdowns put to film. Stripped of his powers and general health by an island filled with Kryptonite, Supes must be commended for still trying to put up a fight against Lex and his goon squad. Alas, all he can muster is a meager defense, and against a fighting-mad Lex Luthor, that's just not enough.
TRAINSPOTTING: Francis Begbie vs. some guy getting a beer. Begbie takes a beer mug and rams it into the guy's face. The glass breaks and cuts up the guy's face as it breaks his nose. The guy instantly goes down on his knees bleeding like a waterfall while Begbie stands there, so scary that nobody even moves to help the guy. Not a long fight, but a very thorough one.
The Hanson brothers vs. anyone and everyone in Slap Shot.
Several of Riggs' fights in Lethal Weapon 1 and 2 come to mind, especially the ones at the end of each movie, where Riggs and his opponents are both staggering around half dead, and then Riggs gets in the last fatal shot.
I can't believe nobody has mentioned what i would consider the single greatest one sided ass kicking in movie history. I give to you:
Santino 'Sonny' Corleone beats the living crap out of his brother in law Carlo Rizzi in THE GODFATHER. Carlo gets in ZERO offense--his best move is trying to grab onto something so that Sonny can't drag him out into the street for an even BIGGER ass-kicking. You know, I think there might even be one shot where Sonny actually kicks him in the ass!
Compared to what Sonny did to him Carlo got off easy when Clemenza merely garrotted him at the end.
I would like to second The Christmas Story beat down. Classic
and add one:
SCARFACE: Tony Montana versus Everybody. Even with his "little friend" taking out most of the bad guys he buys it most spectacularly in the end.
I would claim this the best anti-hero ass-kicking.
If we're not limiting it to one-on-one, I'd have to throw in for ROBOCOP, in the beginning, when Murphy just gets completely jacked up by Boddicker's crew to the point his limbs are blown off gruesomely one by one. Oh yeah.
The swordfight from "Rob Roy." Mediocre film, but an utterly amazing scene!
Frank Drebin vs. the League of America Haters in The Naked Gun.
UNFORGIVEN: Little Bill beating English Bob in the streets of Big Whiskey to "send a message."
Godzilla vs the American Godzilla in GODZILLA FINAL WARS.
Bruce Lee vs everyone in the pagoda up until the level with Kareem Abdul Jabar in the original scenes from what would have been GAME OF DEATH.
Ash in EVIL DEAD 2 and ARMY OF DARKNESS. (I'd still pick him for my team because there's something to be said for a guy who can get his ass beaten so much and so often and still come back for more)
Liam Neeson gets his tookas handed to him by Tim Roth in ROB ROY. With a sword, yet.
Spartans vs Persian army, day 1, 300
Butterbean vs one of the JACKASS guys. (All time great quote as the guy begins to regain consciousness: "Is Butterbean ok?")
Does "Bambi vs. Godzilla" count? The original, obviously....
Great idea... and I'll go with Wesley vs. Inigo in the famous duel at the top of the Cliffs of Insanity because Wesley is really only playing with him the entire time... and the individual Turtles vs. Shredder in the first movie is an inspired remember.
But also SUPERMAN II, Supes gets his caped butt handed to him by Zod and company.. to the point where he has to fly away and rethink strategy.
Bugs Bunny vs Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Wile E Coyote, Marvin the Martian, and pretty much anyone else. If Bugs was a D&D character he would have unlimited hit points and an endless supply of anvils. He's one bad mofo.
They Live has one of the longest and most brutal fist fights. And nearly every Bourne movie has at least one great ass-kicking.
If it's body count you want, Mel Gibson's (I know, and everyone else's) Hamlet comes to mind.
SUPERMAN II-- Clark vs. the brute in the diner (rematch)
MARS ATTACKS-- Byron vs. the Martian hordes on the runway
RAGING BULL-- Jake vs. Joey
CANNIBAL! THE MUSICAL-- Packer vs. Bell
Vanhelsing-- him vs. count dracula
Blade 3 -- blade vs. dracula
Matrix -- Neo vs. mr. anderson
jackass -- ryan dunn vs. that chinese lady
300 -- any of the fights
Oh, and of course GREAT EXPECTATIONS-- Pip vs. Miss Havisham's robot monkeys
Cool Hand Luke. Luke gets beaten so badly, the other guy gives up because he feels bad about doing it to him.
Damn, someone beat me to Sonny Corleone's beatdown of Carlo Rizzi in the Godfather.
Um... how about the step-by-step destruction of Saddam Hussein in Hot Shots Part Deux?
Someone else said Mal Reynolds in "War Stories," but that was a TV show. From Serenity, how about River Tam vs. a bar full of guys (including Jayne Cobb's testicles), or Mal vs. the Operative, either in the Companion School or in Mr. Universe's basement?
J.
Snake Pliskin vs Ox baker in ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK
Terrance Stamp throughout THE LIMEY Kicking ass and taking names.
OLDBOY. Min-sik Choi, a hammer, a dozen other guys. Sublime.
DEAD/ALIVE Father McGruder, kicking zombie ass for Christ.
EVIL DEAD 2: DEAD BY DAWN -- Ash vs. Ash;s possessed right hand. Ash is knocked out by a limb a mere fraction of his side, he's humiliated by having dishes broken over his head, and he gets his unconscious butt dragged across the floor!
And honorable mention must go to ROBOT CHICKEN for their Most One-Sided Fist Fights segments!
MYSTERY MEN: How about the Mystery Men getting their butts handed to them by the Red Eyes at the start of the film (by the way, a truly underestimated superhero gym).
KINDERGARTEN COP: Ah-nold laying out the abusive dad. The feel-good butt-kicking of the decade.
SUBURBAN COMMANDO: Hulk Hogan vs. the car alarm. Maybe not, but, hey, we are discussing something pointless...
And I second (or third) Batman vs. the Joker.
And a few honorable mentions from TV...
Faith putting the smack down on Conner when he still wants to stake his dad is season 4 of Angel and Hurley leveling Sawyer on "Lost."
Bugs Bunny vs Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Daffy Duck, Wile E Coyote, Marvin the Martian, and pretty much anyone else. If Bugs was a D&D character he would have unlimited hit points and an endless supply of anvils. He's one bad mofo.
I don't disagree, but I also wanted to point out why this is always such a satisfying ass-kicking. I believe Chuck Jones said someplace that the main difference between Bugs and Daffy (other than the fact that Bugs, y'know, gets to win most of the time) is that Bugs never goes up against anyone until he's crossed first. Once "you know, this means war," then he's all set -- but he's always the initially wronged party.
Don't think that's not a moral lesson I'll be teaching Katherine. :-)
TWL
Seconding Vincent Murphy's suggestion of "They Live." It's what I was going to put and as I was scrolling down I was like "C'mon, somebody...somebody." I mean, it was over *sunglasses* fercrissakes!
Also, Jerry Mitchell vs Buddy Revell in "3 O'Clock High." An almost forgettable movie except for the ridiculous high school fight at the end.
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Predator: Arnold versus the Predator, final sequence. He uses trap after trap to whittle the Predator down.
Happy Gilmore: Bob Barker versus Happy Gilmore. "Now you've had enough . . . bitch."
Well I can not believe we got this far with no one mentioning Road House...
*smacks head* Oh man, I forgot to nominate Indiana Jones Vs. the Sword Guy in Raiders Of the Lost Ark.
All that buildup and then Indy JUST FRICKING SHOOTS HIM ONCE.
That's a "you're not even worth the effort to frag, n00b" kind of asskicking. :)
Road House and Robocop -- yeah...
Karate Kid wasn't bloody, but the kid was fighting his final match with a freakin' BROKEN LEG!!!
Hmm... Most of the really good ones have bee taken. Looks like I'll have to go the oddball route.
1 - The Killer (Dip huet seung hung) (1989)
The final gun blazing battle in the church that capped off an absolutely fantastic and hypnotizing movie. Ah Jong (Chow Yun-Fat) and Inspector Li Ying (Danny Lee) VS just about every bad guy that's still alive. An insanely dazzling ballet of violence ensues that leaves a mountain of bodies behind it and only one of the film's main protagonists left alive.
2 - Wheels on Meals (1984)
Jackie Chan VS Benny "The Jet" Urquidez. I don't care if you don't like Jackie Chan movies or if you've never even seen one so much as one time in your life. THIS is an awesome fight and Jackie plays up the come-from-behind underdog masterfully here. Benny knocks him around for quite a bit of the fight before Jackie begins to even the score and finally win. Also, the fights between Jackie's friends and Benny's fellow thugs while the main fight is going on are great to watch.
3 - The Punisher (2004)
Frank Castle getting his butt handed to him by The Russian and every trick he tries gets shut down. Only a pot full of pasta and a lucky roll down stairs saves him.
4 - X2 (2003)
Wolverine VS Deathstrike. "I'm Wolverine. I'm the best there is at what I do. And what I do in this scene is get rag-dolled by a rather petite Kelly Hu."
5 - Freddy vs. Jason (2003)
The fight gets dragged into the real world and Freddy pretty much has to have Jason's boot print surgically removed from his backside after the film. Still, he never stopped tossing out the one liners.
6 - Death Proof (2007)
Insane killer, tricked out car and a death fetish VS three girls in a Challenger. Did I mention high heeled boots?
7 - Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002)
Anakin "The fastest whiner in the Universe" Skywalker gets his ass handed to him in glorious Sith fashion by Darth Tyranus.
8 - Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (1974)
Mechagodzilla VS King Seesar. Jeez... Mike Tyson broke more of a sweat kicking Michael Spinks ass than Mecha G did turning the holy defender into a whimpering mass o' messed up foam rubber and a broken zipper.
9 - Predator (1987)
Come on... Do I have to explain it? One heavily roided up human VS one ticked off alien killing machine. Arny gets his ass handed to him for most of the fight before getting a lucky break with a booby trap.
10 - Snatch (2000)
The final underground fight of the film. Brick Top has everyone's balls in a sling and it's been made clear to Turkish that if he doesn't get Mickey to throw the fight they're not leaving the building upright. Mickey is getting beaten half to death in round after round until, in am extremely surreal moment, he's knocked out, snaps back to consciousness and destroys Brick Top's fighter. Then the film adds to the fun when you discover that Brick Top wasn't quite as on top of the situation as he seemed to believe he was.
I believe Chuck Jones said someplace that the main difference between Bugs and Daffy (other than the fact that Bugs, y'know, gets to win most of the time) is that Bugs never goes up against anyone until he's crossed first.
I saw Chuck Jones give a talk once at college (great guy BTW) and he said something to the effect of "Bugs is how I want to be and Daffy is how I fear that I really am."
If this weren't limited to movies I'd nominate "your biggest fan" vs dignity.
people mention THEY LIVE and while it is a fight of extreme awesomosity it's too evenly matched to qualify as a true ass kicking as PAD defined it. Kudos to John Conner for the ROAD HOUSE suggestion though and a tip of the hat to Queen Anthai for even knowing about THE MACHINE GIRL!
How 'bout Jesus in Gibson's Passion of the Christ?
Well it's been a good number of years but I still remember a scene in BILLY JACK. The one where he tells the asshole, "I'm about to kick you in the face with this foot right here and there's not a damn thing you can do about it." Points there for style
One thing I always found great about the Fleischer Popeye and Superman cartoons is that the heroes always got the snot knocked out of them at first, and then they came back, seemingly against all odds, to beat the bad guy(s)
I remember a lot of westerns where guys got beat up badly or nearly killed -- heck, Clint Eastwood practically came back from the dead in "Hang 'Em High" to get his revenge on the guys that lynched him.
And what about that long, creepy, hand-to-hand combat scene between the Nazi soldier and the American soldier in "Saving Private Ryan"?
And who can forget the classic fight between King Kong and the Tyrannosaurus Rex in the 1933 version of "King Kong." Willis O'Brien, who did the stop motion special effects for that film and thus choreographed the fight, had once been a boxer himself.
There's also always that first bone-wielding ape in 2001...
MEMENTO: This is an ass-kicking that litterally kicks off (and also ends, chronologically speaking) the movie, and it's great because Lenoard set up Teddy for the ass-kicking of his life because Teddy's been screwing with him for god-knows-how-long... and the best part is, Lenoard doesn't know that he masterminded his revenge! Trust me, I'll make sense when you watch it. Uh, maybe. Its the beginning and the ending of the ass-kicking that the whole movie is about, all wrapped up into a package that'll blow your brains out.
I thought I'd put a couple movies that many of you might not have seen, one that just about everybody has seen, and a general suggestion.
EQUILIBRIUM - Christian Bale's character kicks ass and takes names throughout the movie. I love the director's commentary about having the fights be so one-sided in Christian's favor: "When I was growing up and fantasizing about whipping ass...I can promise you that in my fantasy you didn't get a few good licks in. I kicked your ass in a commanding fashion with compelling punctuation."
DIGGSTOWN - Louis Gossett Jr. fights ten boxing matches in 24 hours.
FIRST BLOOD - Sylvester Stallone vs. everybody.
And, lastly, just about any Jackie Chan movie.
I'm probably in the minority here, but the last 30 minutes of the most recent Rambo movie kicked major ass and I'm not even a fan of the Rambo movies but that was one brutal scene.
Also, as mentioned above Fight Club when Ed Norton's character fights Brad Pitt's character without even realizing he's fighting himself.
R-
Some "bloodless" ass-whippings:
2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY: Classic man vs. machine; Dave Bowman dispatches HAL by pulling his memory circuits... Hal slowly fades away: "Dave, my mind is going... I can feel it..."
HEARTBREAK RIDGE: Sgt. Highway dispatches the huge, muscular "Swede" in one simple move.
If we're talking ass-whipings in Fight Club, I think the commanding one is the hurt that The Narrator puts on Angel Face about halfway through the movie. "I felt like destorying something beautiful."
Bill Mulligan:
It is the AWESOMEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN EVER.
Also, the subject of a segment in my brand-spankin' new podcast; click my username to see the community.
End shameless plug, exit stage left.
I just wanted to second Ralphie vs. Scott Farkus from A Christmas Story and Ash vs. Hand.
It's a shame that They Live doesn't technically count, though.
Although this one is from a TV show, I believe it actually happened during the Family Guy Movie. It is Stewie beating the crap out of Brian while trying to collect his money. Here is a link if you've never seen it:
http://www.on9now.com/toons/familybeatup.html
Garrett
Good ones all around. (Especially kudos to those pointing out Sunny from the Godfather treating his brother in law to some knuckles. Awesome scene)
Now that I've seen Wanted I gotta add that one too, especially the scene at the end where he bursts through the factory's windows....Holy Hairy Hannah that one made me postively giddy with pointless, violent glee.
Also, no one mentions Bruce Lee?? Enter the Dragon, where he kills more henchmen in one scene than James Bond in 3 movies?? His skill WAS extraordinary.
And one of the best movie fights I can recall was in Grosse Point Blank in the High School. Maybe too even for it to be an ass kicking I guess. Great scene though.
Also: Sin City. Marv gets his ass HANDED to him by Kevin.
Hmm...I think I'm gonna have to dip into anime territory for this one.
Ninja Scroll -- While there are a lot of good fights in this movie, there's really only one fight that can be called an ass-kicking, which is the hero, Jubei, versus Genma, an old enemy. The problem is that while Jubei is fighting to kill, Genma has gained a healing factor that makes him essentially immortal.
The first half of the fight is essentially Jubei getting tossed around like a rag doll, with Genma finishing it up with a brutal non-stop beating that lasts about 30 seconds or so of screen time. That's 30 seconds worth of punches, finished off by a roundhouse. And Jubei still won't go down. In fact, I'd be willing to say the fight counts as two ass-kickings in one, and you have to cheer when Jubei finally stages a comeback. Key line. "Genma, if you're going to keep coming back from the dead, then I'll kill you as many times as it takes!
Also Robot Chicken offers up "The World's Most One-Sided Fights."
There have also been a few great comic book ass-kickings. Anyone remember the original New Warriors versus Terrax? Or Batman versus Superman in the Dark Knight Returns? For that matter, Batman's rematch with the leader of the mutants in the same series. I think I'll also include the fight between Earth-1 and Earth-2 Superman and Superboy Prime at the end of Final Crisis. A fight that comes down not to who is the strongest physically, but whose ideals and convictions are stronger.
James Bond vs. Oddjob in Goldfinger
James Bond vs. Red Grant and James Bond vs. the helicopter in From Russia With Love
James Bond at the beginning of Thunderball. He just plain beats a man to death.
Amazingly, no one has already entered my choices. OK, so my choices are not so obvious.
1.- Patricia Arquette vs James Gandolfini on "True Romance". Also, Christian Slater vs. Gary Oldman in the same film. BUT if you can count a dialectic battle as an ass-whupping, hands down the winner is the Dennis Hopper vs. Christopher Walken: when Hopper's character realises he's going to die, he decides to go laughing his ass off those spaghetti bastards. Classic.
2.- Barry Pepper vs Edward Norton on "The 25th hour". A guy "persuades" one of his best friends to give him a deadly beating, in order to get a quick and dirty anti-cosmetic surgery of sorts, just before entering prison. A compelling scene, because although Pepper's character doesn't want to hit Norton's, finally all the sadness and the frustation provoked by Norton's situation explodes, and Pepper beats THE HOLY CRAP out of him. It's a hurtful scene, and not only because of the punches being dealt.
Hmm...I think I'm gonna have to dip into anime territory for this one.
Ninja Scroll -- While there are a lot of good fights in this movie, there's really only one fight that can be called an ass-kicking, which is the hero, Jubei, versus Genma, an old enemy. The problem is that while Jubei is fighting to kill, Genma has gained a healing factor that makes him essentially immortal.
The first half of the fight is essentially Jubei getting tossed around like a rag doll, with Genma finishing it up with a brutal non-stop beating that lasts about 30 seconds or so of screen time. That's 30 seconds worth of punches, finished off by a roundhouse. And Jubei still won't go down. In fact, I'd be willing to say the fight counts as two ass-kickings in one, and you have to cheer when Jubei finally stages a comeback. Key line. "Genma, if you're going to keep coming back from the dead, then I'll kill you as many times as it takes!
Also Robot Chicken offers up "The World's Most One-Sided Fights."
There have also been a few great comic book ass-kickings. Anyone remember the original New Warriors versus Terrax? Or Batman versus Superman in the Dark Knight Returns? For that matter, Batman's rematch with the leader of the mutants in the same series. I think I'll also include the fight between Earth-1 and Earth-2 Superman and Superboy Prime at the end of Final Crisis. A fight that comes down not to who is the strongest physically, but whose ideals and convictions are stronger.
My additions:
"The Naked Prey." One man’s race for his life.
The Michael York "Three Musketeers." Fun movie fact. You’ll notice the fight scenes with Oliver Reed are some what shorter than those with other actors. Seems Mr. Reed was a bit over enthusiastic with the fights.
Leon ( aka The Professional): Leon vs. EEEEEEEEEEVREYONE!!
Dune: his name is a killing word.
Unforgiven
The ( original) Hitcher
King Kong: takes on TWO T-rexes bare handed while holding on to his girlfriend yeah ok he’s big and strong …but jeeze.
Oooh, some good ones. I'd like to add another vote for
THE PUNISHER - The Castle vs. Russian fight was wicked brutal.
Ang Lee's HULK - He cuts through the military like a two-year-old rampaging through a stack of tinker toys.
LEON aka THE PROFESSIONAL - They send every cop in the district to corner this one man in his apartment, and he proceeds to meticulously tear them apart. Stunning.
Now for a new one ... Willem Dafoe's unforgettable run in PLATOON.
Howzabout--dare I say it--Home Alone? Mac Culkin vs. Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, in an ass-whuppin' that lasts about a third of the entire movie.
Wolverine vs. an entire platoon of soldiers attacking the mansion in X2 would probably qualify as well.
I think a lot of people misunderstand what Peter meant here, as some of the examples cited don't fit the definition he gave.
Anyway, my suggestion is from Robin and Marian: the Sheriff of Nottingham (Robert Shaw) is reading in his chamber at the top of a tower, when he hears something he doesn't like from the practice field below. He looks out, then descends to the field and takes a sword. He is unarmored. He points at three of the armored knights in training: "You, you, and you. Come at me." The three attack. Using only the flat of the sword, he takes all three of them out in less than twenty seconds, plunges the point of the sword into the mud and says, "That's how it's done."
Second example: Kirk vs. Khan at the climax of "Space Seed".
Shatner, incidentally, once told on The Tonight Show of how as a youth he was caught stealing apples from an orchard by the farmer, who literally kicked his ass. He said a hard boot, delivered with the full strength of an adult man to the back end of a young teen is extremely painful, and he still remembered that pain some forty years later.
JAWS: Naked chick vs. man eating shark. Guess who wins?
ROBOCOP: Oh, those wacky OCP execs, trying to show off thier fancy new ED-209 machine by having poor Kinney wave around a gun, have ED-209 train its giagantic weapons on him, and then, hopefully, turn the robot off. Unfortunately, things don't go as planed and then, Oh My God, ED-209 killed Kinney! You bastards! Here's a tip: when showing off your fancy killing machine robot in a corporate boardroom DON'T BLOODY LOAD THE THING'S WEAPONRY!
CATWOMAN: The only ass that got kicked was Hallie Berry's career.
AMERICAN HISTORY X: Two words: Curb. Stomp. Euch.
MALLRATS: Jay and Silent Bob feed it to the Easter Bunny while horrified kids look on, screaming. Happy Easter, bunny!
SNAKES ON A PLANE: Samuel L. Jackson has HAD IT with these Muthaf%&$in snakes on this muthaf&%$@in plane!! He shoots a hole in the window, snakes go flying out, movie is over in five minutes. (Bonus ass-kicking: the upper class twit who thinks he can appease the giant python by feeing it a small dog. No can do, jack. Chomp chomp.)
RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE: Possible one of the coolest ass kickings come when a hapless trio are cornered by two mutated lickers, but, at the nick of time, Mila Jolovich takes care of it in the most effective, simple way possible: she rides a motorcycle through a window, crashes it into the licker, the licker/motorcycle goes flying into the air, and she shoots it and blows the whole gat-damn thing up, taking care of licker (however leaving her temporarily without a motorcycle, which would probably come in handy in a city overrun by zombies, but it was totally worth it for the slow-mo mutant explosion)
TITANIC: Guy falls off boat, hits a propeller, and spins all the way down to his death in the icy deep below. The moral of the story? ALWAYS LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP, KIDS!
Peter
As far as I remember, Apollo is killed by Ivan in Rocky IV, not III. In III (Eye of the tiger), both fights would qualify, especially the final one between Balboa and Clubber Lang (the ever-lovable Mr. T).
JC
Master & Commander: Acheron vs. Surprise (at the film's opening). The first encounter between with the French Privateer sees the Surprise smashed to firewood, while her cannonballs bounce off Acheron's hull.
Mal vs. The Operative in Serenity - both fights are rather one-sided until the surprise ending.
Tony Stark vs. Obadiah in Ironman - let's face it, the final battle was basically Tony getting smashed to a pulp.
For bloodiest ass kicking, I'd have to nominate the brawl in Gangs of New York, probably the most violent film I've ever seen - worse than History of Violence, which, for its title, was not necessarily that violent compared to a lot of others.
Another generation heard from:
John Wayne vs Victor McLaglen in 1952's "The Quiet Man"...
Go. Rent. Enjoy.
Cheers.
Any Tony Jaa movie is a crash course in ass kickery but in keeping with our definition here I'll nominate Tom-Yum-Goong aka The Protector. Jaa fights up 5 flights of stairs in a casino in an incredible one-take uninterrupted shot beating up a few score men in the process, only a few of which get in even the slightest offense (unless surprised expressions and the Thai word for "Shit!" count as offense).
My contributions:
Serenity - River Tam versus the Reavers. I can't believe nobody's mentioned this yet. It gives me goosebumps every time I see it. ("You take care of me, Simon. You've always taken care of me. ...My turn.")
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Jen Yu versus dozens of customers in a restaurant. ("I am the Invincible Sword Goddess!") Memorable because it's the one time she unambiguously kicks ass; she's better than 99.999% of the fighters out there, and this is the only point in the movie where she isn't going up against the remaining 0.001%.
There Will Be Blood - Daniel versus Eli, during the "I Drink Your Milkshake" scene. Death by bowling. Just for the sheer weirdness of it. ("I am the Third Revelation! I toooooold you I would eat you!")
The 1st Die Hard. John McClain gets shot at, punched out, has broken glass in his feet and still kicks Alexander Godunov's ass.
RE: A Christmas Story. The kid is named Scut Farkas, not Scott. Jean Shepherd had the strangest names for kids ever. You are forgiven for not knowing that if you've never read the books, but not forgiven for not reading them. Hilarity ensues.
Charles Bronson beats the shit out of a snitch in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST; the guy never even comes close to laying a hand on him.
I will read more of the thread before bringing up others...
Charles Bronson beats the shit out of a snitch in ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST; the guy never even comes close to laying a hand on him.
I will read more of the thread before bringing up others...
how can you honestly mention indiana jones and not mention his duel with the swordsmen?
also wasn't it FIST OF THE NORTHSTAR (my friend made me watch it, i hate anime) where the "bad guy" beats the "good guy" so throughly that he feels sorry for him and lets him live....stupidest thing ever...come to think of it...thats the reason i hate anime.
Second that astounding fight in OLDBOY.
But, y'know...the all-time greatest kicking of ass in any movie EVER, EVER...I mean it, 'cuz I've seen a lot of movies...is Harold Lloyd kicking the ass of a bully who has made his life miserable in GRANDMA'S BOY. A silent movie. He takes one indignity too many and knocks the guy around a barn for ten minutes. I know the chances are next to nil that anybody else here has seen it, but it is awesome. (There is another great one, absolutely marvelous, ending his film THE KID BROTHER -- a weakling vs. a murderous circus strong man, when all the weakling has is absolute refusal to go down. Nor is the weakling allowed to have a sudden adrenaline rush of superhuman strength. Half the battle is outlasting the guy. Maybe twenty minutes on film. Jump up and down and cheer time. If you haven't seen these two movies you need to check them out right away.)
Oh, and another great one? Probably number two on my list? Toshiro Mifune against the street gang, at the end of YOJIMBO. He has had the shit knocked out of him and has spent some long painful time recovering. He is just one guy with a sword walking down the center of the street toward a bunch of other guys with swords, and one who has a pistol. The guy with the pistol, who has always been unduly proud of it, takes it from his sash and smiles that same smug smile he's always flashed before shooting somebody. Cut to Mifune, not breaking stride, the rage burning in his eyes. Cut back to the guy to the gun...and he's no longer smiling. He looks...afraid.
Wonderful moment, that. Last time I saw the movie on DVD, I replayed it three times, including once in slow motion. That's an oh-shit, I'm-about-to-face-the-wrath-of-God moment.
And it isn't HALF as good as what happens next, when the two sides meet and fight: one of the greatest fights in film history, and it lasts, I think, about three seconds. There's no slow motion, no long extended clash of swords. There's just Mifune erupting in a blur of movement, too fast to see (though in real-time); the gun going off, bodies falling, and Mifune the last man standing at the end of it. It's another moment that rewards the use of the frame-by-frame feature, because you'll want to see just how the hell he did that. But one thing's for sure. None of those guys had a chance in hell.
They Live - an epic beatdown going back and forth, including multiple full body-weight reproduction career-ending nuttings.
Fight Club - Tyler's total lack of defense and just taking the beating from Sal in order to keep the basement. How does he win? I whole face full of blood and fear of dry cleaning bills.
Cool Hand Luke - Just not knowing when to stay down
Shogun Assassin (Lone Wolf and Cub) - bloody mayhem
Starship Troopers - First few soldier bugs against unprepared troopers - a potent brew of then cutting edge CGI and the complete lack of acting talent that could be afforded after cutting edge CGI consumed the budget
Hard Boiled - Laying siege to an operating hospital - this may not fit the beatdown criteria, but it should go down as the top colateral damage film of all times
Tony Jaa, Protector, the last, what, 30 minutes? After he sees the skeleton. The crowd fight thru the giant(s) fight. He gets his ass kicked for all of 5 minutes, mostly slo mo, while he absorbs what happened.
Then he gets pissed.
#1: the printer in Office Space, by the three main characters. (my wife's contribution)
#2: Neo & Trinity vs. the security guards in the skyscraper at the end of the Matrix
#3: Beast vs. Gaston, Beauty & The Beast
#4: Crash Davis taking down Nuke LaLoosh in the beginning of "Bull Durham"
One more, definitely one of the top five of all time, and yeah, once again I wager that it's not one many of you have seen, though you oughta.
BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK. Starring Spencer Tracy, Ernest Borgnine, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan.
New guy in town, Tracy, is minding his business in a diner. For reasons we need not explicate, the town toughs have been giving him a hard time all day. Now Borgnine, who has the size and weight advantage (and one more I'll mention in a moment) wants to provoke a fight with him, mostly because it will provide an excuse to kill him.
He gets his wish.
Tracy beats the living crap out of him.
It is not a fight. Borgnine never lays a hand on him. Tracy is never in trouble at any point. Tracy doesn't even move all that much. He just stands his ground in the middle of the room, lets an increasingly bruised Borgnine lunge at him again and again...and repeatedly smacks him down, hard, barely exerting himself. This in full view of all the other bullies who have been waiting for this to happen. (Lee Marvin, a pretty formidable movie tough guy himself, looks pretty damn unnerved.)
It ends, of course, with Borgnine face down in the street.
And here's the great part.
Tracy's character has only one arm.
As a child, Lone Wolf McQuade left a huge impression on me. When the bad guy killed Norris' pet wolf, I wanted him to pay. And the final fight scene was cool because the bad guy was winning... until he shot Norris' woman and that just pissed Norris off!
In no particular order:
Sonny Corleone deals with his wife-beating brother-in-law in "THE GODFATHER"
Chuck Norris gets revenge on the man who not only imprisoned him but burned his friend alive in "MISSING IN ACTION 2: THE BEGINNING"
Arnold Schwarzenegger lets Bennett, the man who kidnaped his daughter, "let off some steam in "COMMANDO"
A skateboard disagreement leads to someone getting a skateboard beatdown in "KIDS"
Gene Hackman lays down the law on English Bob in "UNFORGIVEN"
The Italian Stallion takes down his protege out in the street in "ROCKY V"
Bruce Lee crushes Chuck Norris in "GAME OF DEATH"
Oh yeah, and Gunny Highway beating the crap out of a fat, obnoxious cellmate AND humiliating Major Powers in "HEARTBREAK RIDGE"
You're right about that BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK fight.
I was always partial to the Superman fights himself scene in Superman 3. The fight in the junkyard is the most memorible part of the whole movie.
Okay, Monty Python and the Holy Grail was mentioned, but I'm suprised nobody mentioned the other major ass-kicking:
A dozen armed and armored knights.
One cute and fluffy white bunny rabbit.
KISS OF THE DRAGON- Jet Li vs an entire room full of guys armed with clubs. Jet Li goes through them without breaking a sweat.
Okay I think I am going out on a limb here but....
AIRPLANE!!!!!
Panicking Lady vs The Rest of The Plane
How about The Bride vs. the Crazy 88s in Kill Bill, Part 1?
"Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now."
I think that the biggest ass kicking in Princess Bride is Westley versus Fezzik.
Moviewise the one that comes to mind probably does so because it's fresh, Ben Browder in the recent stargate sg-1 DTV escapade. To be fair though as a farscape fan no one takes an ass-kicking as well as he does.
Reading PADs original post though brought about the memory of my favorite ass-kicking of all time. Which unfortunately came from a comic so wouldn't make this list. Batman vs. Superman at the end of Dark Knight Returns. "I want you to remember in all your years to come, in your quiet moments. I want you to remember my hand at your throat... I want you to remember the one man who beat you."
well, the black knight scene in holy grail wins. it really does.
but there's also the boxing episode in battlestar, the cripple fight homage from south park, the wrenching shingen smack down in wolvie's limited series (and the very satisfactory SNIKT in the rematch).
also, didn't juliette lewis actually break tom sizemore's nose in NBK? that ought to count for something...
Speaking of discussing something pointless, I wish to comment on X-Factor #32. We can has comment thread, plz?
THEY CALL ME TRINITY and TRINITY IS STILL MY NAME both had some good funny one sided butt-whoopings in them.
Godzilla vs every monster ever in GODZILLA FINAL WARS.
Bill Mulligan at July 1, 2008 11:49 PM
people mention THEY LIVE and while it is a fight of extreme awesomosity it's too evenly matched to qualify as a true ass kicking as PAD defined it.
True, but if PAD can count the double beat-down in ROCKY II then by FSM THEY LIVE should be included.
PERFECT WEAPON - Jeff Speakman's mentor has just been killed. Jeff on foot chases the car but of course loses it. And while he's standing there, upset and pissed off, four young toughs decide it's a good time to try and take his wallet.
Starts at 1:10 here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rUniFTJiCRQ
The recent Donnie Yen flick Flashpoint features a fight between him and Colin Chou that lasts about 8 minutes and features both guys slamming each other around, taking some absolutely painful looking falls and slapping some pretty ouch worthy grappling takedowns.
Then there's the "Tony Jaa fights three guys in bar" scene from Ong Bak, which climaxes with the last guy just grabbing whatever he can, including a neon sign and mini-fridge and smashing it into Tony.
I echo both John Wayne vs Victor McLaglen in 1952's "The Quiet Man" and The Bride vs. the Crazy 88s.
Battlestar Galactica has a lot of good ass-kickings. Some that stand out in memory are:
Kobol's Last Gleaming Pt. II: Kara "Starbuck" Thrace vs. a #6. Six stands there and lets Kara get in a couple of shots, just to let her feel a little better about what's to come; then she proceeds to kick Starbuck's ass all over the Delphi Museum. Only Six's accidental fall onto a chunk of rebar lets Starbuck survive.
Unfinished Business: Adm. Bill Adama, looking his age, gets into the ring with the much younger Chief Galen Tyrol. And proceeds to beat the crap out of Tyrol. And then announces that he had only done that to prove a point.
Sine Qua Non: Not sure this really counts, because they both wind up on the floor by the end, but the fight between Bill Adama and Saul Tigh (when Bill finds out that Saul's been fracking Caprica Six, the Cylon they have in custody - and she's pregnant) is both amazing and amusing (they both wind up laying on the floor, noses bleeding, panting and chuckling at their own stupidity in fighting. Bill looks at the remains of the model ship under Saul's ass, and complains about having to rebuild it again).
I also have to second the fight in The Quiet Man. I especially liked the bit where they both stopped in the pub for a breather and a pint, then argued over the tab (each one insisting on paying) and returned to fighting.
Note to self posting in the middle of the night may lead to misreading thread themes:
Ok Best Ass Kickings in movies:
So far taking the above list of Ass-Kickings in movies, these have to be on the list:
1. Black Knight in “…Holy Grail”
2. Hammer holding nutter vs. thugs in “Oldboy”
3. Ally fight in “They Live”
4. Bride vs. Crazy 88’s in “Kill Bill”
5-6. It’s been way too long since I watched any of the Rocky or Bruce Lee movies so I couldn’t say what ass kicking was best
I stand by my “King Kong” from earlier I mean he rips the T-rexs jaw off!
Some that may have been over looked:
Decker Vs. Roy Batty in “Blade Runner” : He just toys with Decker
“Superman 2.” Zod and pals actually make Superman retreat!
Vader Vs Luke in “…Empire….” I blow up your ‘winter house,’ torture your friends, chop off your hand oh and by the way I’m your dad. Talk about a bad day.
Unfinished Business: Adm. Bill Adama, looking his age, gets into the ring with the much younger Chief Galen Tyrol. And proceeds to beat the crap out of Tyrol. And then announces that he had only done that to prove a point.
Yeah, and now Adama can say, "I should have known: The only reason he was able to beat me was because he was a skin job."
PAD
Raising Arizona. Nick Cage vs. Tex Cobb. Cage only survived by accident.
If you are including TV then Buffy should definitely be included several times.
Preacher vs. Buffy
Glory vs. Buffy
Willow vs. Warren
Angel vs. Buffy (emotionally)
Buffy always had very gut wrenching defeats and very satisfying recoveries.
Peter David: TERMINATOR II: The Terminator versus the T1000. Literally getting his head handed to him...
Luigi Novi: How is it literal?
I agree with most of the ones here that I've seen. Got a good TV one, though--in fact, an anime TV one: Spike vs. Pierrot near the beginning of the Cowboy Bebop episode, "Pierrot Le Fou." Spike stumbles across a mob hit and the assassin immediately tries to kill him. Spike never lays a hand on the bulletproof assassin, bullets are ineffective against him and Spike only escapes by setting off a huge explosion and using it for cover.
IT'S A MAD MAD MAD MAD WORLD: Jonathan Winters beating up on Phil Silvers, then thrashing Marvin Kaplan & Arnold Stang and totally demolishing their gas station.
THE NIGHT THEY RAIDED MINSKY'S: Forrest Tucker beating the stuffing out of Jason Robards and Norman Wisdom, who can't even get Tucker to flinch.
I definitely want to throw my vote in for Frank Castle vs The Russian in The Punisher. That thing was brutal.
Ah! JEM, you're right! I have read the collection, but it has been years, so I had forgotten. Please forgive my mis-remembering of Scut Farkas' name.
The beat-down that Toshiro Mifune's character receives in YOJIMBO and the almost scene-for-scene beating that Clint Eastwood gets in the film's best known remake FISTFUL OF DOLLARS (tie!). Yeah, both guys come back in the end and redeem themselves; but, wow! were those tough to watch.
The Quiet man with John Wayne
I assumed that PAD's comic book readers would have no sense of movie history and wouldn't name anything more than 10-15 years old, but I expected more of a sense of history from PAD.
Since a couple of cartoons make it in there, I'd have to say the D vs. Dracula's Castle in VAMPIRE HUNTER D. It's a gory mess, and D gets some telekentic beating by Dracula.
And another Anime, Project A-ko, is pretty brutal anytime A-ko and B-ko fought, oblivious to the alien invasion going on.
No one's mentioned Fight Club? Ed Norton taking an ass beating from the club owner and just smiling with blood in his mouth? Who says passive-aggressive can't be tough?
The Quiet man with John Wayne
I assumed that PAD's comic book readers would have no sense of movie history and wouldn't name anything more than 10-15 years old, but I expected more of a sense of history from PAD.
Once again, I say that this scene hardly qualifies as "someone who is rapidly outmatched and gets more so by the moment." They were pretty evenly matched. Each took enough punches that, were this a real fight, both men would have been brain damaged for life.
(As I recall, in the original short story it was indeed a genuine ass whoopin')
And hey, I'd say PAD's fans have done a pretty good job. Everything from Harold Loyd to low budget Japanese gore, you could do way worse than having us on a Trivial Pursuit: Movie Ass Kicking Edition team.
A lot of the scenes mentioned by the readers here seem to be more along the lines of Best Fight Scene, rather than Best Ass-Kicking.
Unforgiven: Sick with a cold and a fever Clint Eastwood got his ass kicked by Gene Hackman in the saloon. Afterward he returns in perfect health and it was a very different story...
Darn. I was going to mention Jonathan Winters versus the gas station attendants in IT'S A MAD x4 WORLD, but Russell H beat me to it. Still, it's good to see it getting some recognition.
Found a fun vid of the most abused character in cinematic history:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wd0F9l2B8Hg
Seriously, Ash vs. his possessed hand or Ash vs. the little Ashs would be good candidates for this list, especially since he only wins in the end of each by committing further abuse to himself.
Bill Mulligan: "As I recall, in the original short story it was indeed a genuine ass whoopin'"
I can name another one that was *originally* an ass whoopin', but got changed.
Mad Dog and Glory.
The original script said that at the end of the movie, the gangster beats the wimpy cop totally senseless. The wimpy cop gets in one pathetic hit, which is enough for the ganster to call off the fight and let the cop have what he wanted.
Problem: They cast Bill Murray as the gangster and Robert Dinero as the wimpy cop.
Having them play against type worked great for most of the movie, but test audiences hated seeing Dinero get his ass kicked. So they redid it and he wasn't winning the fight, but he didn't get an epic beat down, either.
Surprised, with this bunch, that none of mine are mentioned.
HIGHLANDER--The last fight between MacLeod and Kurgan. Ol' Mr. Krabs never looked better.
BRAVEHEART--Bedroom. Horse. Ball and chain. 'Nuff said.
Jedi--Yeah, Luke's not on the Dark Side, but DON'T piss him off.
X-Men--Sabretooth, Wolverine, Statue of Liberty--doesn't get any better.
Fellowship/Two Towers--Gandalf VS. the Balrog--they BOTH got the crap kicked out of them.
TORA! TORA! TORA! First, the US Navy at Pearl Harbor. Then Japan finds out it was a bad idea.
The Last Dragon--(Yeah, I know, I know...) Leroy and Sho'Nuff--Really goofy but cool anyway.
Just for the record, Sean, I *did* mention Jedi. Look back at the very first post in the thread, you silly person. :-)
I thought about the Balrog/Gandalf, but that seems a lot closer to an even match than an ass-kicking. It's a great scene, but I'm not sure it qualifies given PAD's constraints. (There's got to be *something* in LOTR, though...)
TWL
Consider me gone to boil my bottom, Tim. Or some Holy Grail reference that might make sense and not give people a really horrid visual.
The one I've always, always loved and was surprised to find not mentioned is the fight in the original transformers movie. The are Decepticons attacking. Optimus Prime shows up, runs over half the bad guys and punches Megatron in the face. Then they pretty much beat each other to death. Say what you will, but that one forever stuck with me. I must have emulated that fight a thousand times with my toys as a kid.
Sean,
Actually, if you want to pick a scene from "Highlander", then I think MacLeod getting the absolute crap kicked out of him by his village because they thought he was "in League with Lucifer" and come back from the dead ranks higher. I really felt for the guy!
Some of the greatest ass-kicking scenes of all time were in Steven Seagal films, which, so far, have gone unmentioned. Some of my favorites:
"Above the Law"
"Hard to Kill"
"Marked for Death"
"Out for Justice" (the bar fight scene is amazing)
"Under Seige"
"Under Siege 2: The Dark Territory" (the final train fight scene)
THE STORY OF RIKKI aka RIKKI-O. One long incredible over the top ass butchering. Also a pretty realistic portrayal of what it would be like if super powered beings were actually to get into a fight. It ain't pretty, ain't pretty at all.
KUNG-FU HUSTLE- The Beast (Siu-Lung Leung) has defeated the Landlord and Landlady and Steven Chow, rediscovereing his childhood dreams of becoming a Kung Fu hero, hits him with a table leg. What follows is...well, let's just say Steven ends up with every bone in his body broken!!! Fortunately, he gets better.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS-- God vs Yul Brynner. Brynner is a total bad ass. But God's God, so the ending is never in doubt. Gotta give Yul credit though, he keeps coming back for more, much to the misfortune of his charioteers.
Some great suggestions above, including They Live and The Limey.
Let me throw in Michael Caine as Jack Carter in the original "Get Carter"
"You're a big man, but you're in bad shape. With me it's a full time job. Now behave yourself."
And the absolutely brilliant Sean Connery outclassing a guy in The Presidio
"Now, are you sure you want to have a fight? Because I'm only gonna use my thumb."
Bully in Bar: "Thumb?"
"My right thumb. Left one's too powerful for you."
Genius!
A lot of good ones here: many of my gut responses are already here (kudos to the guys who mentioned Sonny vs. Carlo in the Godfather).
Another couple of great one-sided fights:
THE MATRIX: Trinity vs. the cops in the opening
THE MATRIX: Morpheus vs. Neo in the virtual dojo
ANGEL -- Not Fade Away: Angel vs. Hamilton (until that great line, "Can you pick out the one word you probably shouldn't have said?")
BLOODSPORT: Dux vs. every opponent to the finale
(and a little shout-out to the comics)
MARVEL TWO-IN-ONE ANNUAL #7: The Thing vs. the Champion of the Universe
Saturn 3 (1980)
Kirk Douglas VS the robot
The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)
Lee Horsley's Prince Talon almost gets his heart ripped out before a last second save from his tricked out sword.
Dog Soldiers (2002)
SAS training obviously doesn't include teaching their soldiers that bare fisted boxing with werewolves never ends well.
Vampires (1998)
One seriously ass kicking vampire VS a sleazy hotel room full of vampire slayers, hookers, sheriff's deputies and a priest. I think Valek may have chipped a nail on someone's spinal column, but that was about the extent of the "offense" effectively used against him.
Zombi 2 (1979)
Shark VS Zombie.
Morgan Freeman vs. Anthony Mackie in "Million Dollar Baby." The young punk with the big mouth never had a chance against the half-blind, washed-up boxer.
It might be an imaginary scene, but the beatdown in HIGH FIDELITY where John Cusack, Jack Black and Todd Louiso beat the living snot out of Tim Robbins' insufferable twit is a memorable one. The kicker is seeing Louiso's meek character rip an air conditioner unit out of a wall and drop it on Robbins' head.
And, yes, I'm going to veer off topic (Why not? Others have already done so.) But here are two somewhat recent TV scenes that I felt were kick-ass, movie worthy and meritted a standing ovation, or scenes so cool, to take a line from Futurama, that were registered over 40 Mega-Fonzies: 1) 24, from about two-three years ago, where Chloe had to do some field work, meet up with a suspect's girlfriend and then fight off a cold-blooded mercenary by staying in a bullit-proof car. As the killer was about to ram his car into Chloe's, she was able to unlock the gun and take him out. Talk about revenge of the nerd! 2) Lost, from season three's finale, where a weaponless Sawyer and Juliet had to rescue Said, Jin, and Bernard. God bless Hurley for saving the day by racing the old Dharma BMW van into the camp. A tied-up Said then dispatches one of the Others by snapping his neck with his legs (!). And, then Sawyer channels his inner-Clint Eastwood by taking out Tom after Tom gave up. "That was for taking the kid." "Dude, he surrended." "I didn't believe him." Prcieless and classic!
Glad somebody (and why am I not surprised it was ATC?) mentioned Tracy & Borgnine in Bad Day at Black Rock.
Just as quirky - and far more obscure - is a sequence from a B-noir titled Appointment With Danger, in which a squash game between Alan Ladd (as an undercover postal inspector - don't laugh) and Jack Webb (as a smirking, sadistic thug - REALLY don't laugh) gets rougher...and rougher...and culminates in Ladd ending the game by taking Webb down with a racquet to the head.
(Webb delivers his own beating earlier in the film, and it's quietly stomach-turning. The victim is Harry Morgan, playing a sad and not-very-bright fellow crook who's getting ready to skip town on Webb and his boss; Webb casually picks a bronzed baby shoe off Morgan's mantlepiece, twiddles with it while the boss is reassuring Morgan that he'll get his share of the take - then coldcocks Morgan with the shoe and beats his head in with it off-camera. Stone cold nastiness.)
Earps vs. Clantons in "My Darling Clementine"
Captain Kirk vs. Gorn Captain in "Arena"
Kirk vs. Earp in "Spectre of The Gun"
8 MILE: At the film's climatic showdown, Eminem gets rap battled off, hard, bad guy...then Eminem beats the other guy's ass down, using only with words, about how he's a better rapper than him. And he even disses him after the beats stop, and clearly wins the rap battle and the hearts and minds of the audience. Yes, it's not a physical ass-kicking but, in the end, it's all about Em and his verbal prowess destroying his opponent. If that's not an ass-kicking, then I dunno what is!
When I think of ass kicking, I always think back to Enter the Dragon where Bruce Lee opens a can of whoop ass non stop throughout the movie but especially the end where he fights hundreds of henchmen and of course the main bad guy.
This was too awesome a discussion NOT to deluk for:
unusual one, the fan vid Batman: Dead End (although Kevin Smith loved it) Three words: Batman. Versus. Predator.
The mud scene in John Wayne's "McLintock" Especially the intro...""I haven't lost my temper in 40 years; but, Pilgrim, you caused a lot of trouble this morning; might have got somebody killed; and somebody oughta belt you in the mouth. But I won't. I won't. The hell I won't!"
Michael Douglas in "Falling Down" when he just beats the crap out of the hispanic gang leader.
Jerry - Try GODZILLA VS MECHAGODZILLA '93. The human-built mech, due to a technical glitch, first fails to finish off the big guy, but in the climactic rematch, takes its time administering one of the all-time worst beatings in 'kaiju' film history, eventually killing our favourite lizard. Pity Godzilla has what gamers refer to as 10 dice of luck and mystical forces on his side so he does come back from the dead. But, oh, what a licking he took. And stopped ticking, even.
As for anime, the original, theatrically released GOLGO 13 movie had the popular assassin-for-hire disarmed, bleeding badly, and trapped with a genuinely frightening, knife-wielding psycho out to kill him as unpleasantly as he can. ANIMERICA(?) voted this the all-time best fight in an elevator. As with the bit with Indy mentioned earlier in this thread, if it wasn't for his opponent failing to see what was coming up behind him, Golgo would have been toast. No mean feat that.
Howsabout Jet Li vs Mel And Danny in Lethal Weapon 4? now that was some serious a$$-Kicking
Skimming through the bulk of the posts, I didn't see one of my own all-time faves:
Ruth Gordon vs. The Black Widow Gang in Every Which Way But Loose - I'm not sure if it qualifies as a ass-kicking since she uses a shotgun, but it's still one of the funniest, funnest five minutes that Hollywood has ever produced.
1) Marcus vs. the WHOLE DAMN BAR in B5. He looks like hell when it's over, and he still manages a pithy one liner.
2)Cartagia vs. G'Kar. Because G'Kar just won't scream.
3)"Monty Python's The Life of Brian", The Judean People's Front Suicide Squad Vs. Themselves. This is a truly one sided fight.
4)Titanic Vs. the Iceberg. 2 hours of buildup PLUS Celine freakin' Dion howling like a cursed soul.
Veronica Mars. Aaron Echolls going to town on his daughter's abusive boyfriend.
All great. The only one I might add was in Kurosawa's Red Beard. Mifune, playing the town's doctor, gets jumped by a whole gang of guys and proceeds to completely kick their asses.
John Travolta vs. Danny Masterson in "Face/Off". Drags the kid out of a Vette throught the open window, and administers a chastisement for not taking no for an answer from Travolta's daughter, all while his character is actually psycho Nicholas Cage. (Got that?)
I've noticed what seems to be a massive trend of car-crash-ambush porn in movies recently I think worth mentioning. Adaptation and Old Country for Old Men immediately come to mind.
(Bruce Lee crushes Chuck Norris in "GAME OF DEATH")
One little correction: although that scene was reused in the opening of Game of Death, it originated in Way of the Dragon (Return of the Dragon for the american audience).
I nominate Elvis Presley versus the mob boss in King Creole. That crook never stood a chance.
For another contest, how about "Best Cat fight"? Yes, The Bride Vs. Elle Driver would win hands down, but I have a few suggestions:
The Gypsy Girls in From Russia With Love
Ado Annie vs Hali Hakim's bride at the end of Hugh Jackman's version of Oklahoma!
And my favourite: Claudia Cardinale Vs. Brigitte Bardot in Les Pétroleuses.
"Kung Pow" - The Chosen One Vs. Ling - at least I think I remember his name was Ling, something like that. A character awful at fighting, probably because he was trained to be an awful fighter as a joke.
"Ravenous" - Col. Ives vs. Everyone - those he kills he eats. Those he doesn't kill he feeds the flesh of their dead comrades to. That's so much ass kicking that there's banjo music in the bathroom.
robert d:
you are correct, sir.
one shall stand.
one shall fall.
SERENITY: If you're going to look at this movie, you have to count Mal's final fight against the Operative. In many ways, he's completely outclassed as witnessed by their first fight, but then they made the big mistake of giving Mal something to fight for again... And he sure as hell gives almost as good as he gets.
Lots of great choices, I'd like to cast my vote for Luthor, Batman and Superman versus a horde of Parademons and the Big Man himself, Darkseid in the finale of Justice League Unlimited.
"You can take it... can't ya Big Man..." Supes whaled on Ol' Stony, gets cutdown by the 'Agnoy Matrix' and then Luthor saves his ass "Sorry I'm late, I had to get my 'power suit'".
Also, from the Ninth Doctor...
The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm going to do: I'm going to rescue her! I'm going to save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet! And then I'm going to save the Earth! And then, just to finish off, I'm going to wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek 1: But you have no weapons! No defenses! No plan!
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.
That ended up as quite the ass-kicking... thanks to a big yellow truck.
Wimp-Lo was the deliberately poorly-trained fighter in "Kung Pow." And he did get quite the beatdown. I don't know if it qualifies as epic though...
I'd have to second he painful-to-watch beatdowns of "Yojimbo"/"Fistful of Dollars", the set-piece climax of "Leon the Professional" vs. what might as well be every cop in the NYPD, and the Megatron/Optimus Prime deathmatch in 1984's animated "Transformers" for inclusion on PAD's list. I would have to (regretfully!) rule out the Indy vs. Swordsman fight from "Raiders"; while definitely completely one-sided, I don't know that it would qualify as a knock-down drag-out ass-kicking.
Beating up the z-word bartender with cricket bats to the music of Queen in Shaun of the Dead/i>.
I'm gonna go with the Aliens vs. the marines in the movie Aliens.
Bill Paxton gave it his best, but in the end he was toast.
The other one I'm going to say is off a movie probably hardly anyone ever saw. It is a movie called Zeram (Zeiramu in the japanese release). The first five minutes are just incredible. The bio-machine Zeram just absolutely destroys everything in his way in a methodical manner. That movie sticks in my mind just because of that opening sequence.
Ooo, ooo! I know they're again from comics (sorry, guys -- I was moved more by the spirit of the idea than being stuck to the genre), but I couldn't help but think of them:
Amazing Spider-Man #229, 230: vs. the Juggernaut
Amazing Spider-Man #269, 270: vs. Firelord
Daredevil # 163: vs. the Hulk
Dazzler #6, 7: vs. the Hulk
New Mutants #37: vs. the Beyonder
and perhaps the benchmark:
Daredevil # 7 (1965): DD vs. the Sub-Mariner.
I don't think we've ever seen a book before that where the hero was so predictably outmatched, and his victory was just in stepping up in the first place.
Oh, and there is of course Ice-T's classic beatdown of Wesley Snipes' Nino Brown in "New Jack City"
For those of you who mention "SUPERMAN II", I fail to see how Supes leaving was an ass-kicsing. It wasn't that he didn't think he could beat them. It's that he was afraid of the innocents that would be hurt while he "won". De-powering them all, crushing every bone in Zod's hand and tossing him away like garbage - that's an ass-kicking! Lois, knocking Ursa down and out with one shot also has to be at least a "mini ass-kicking".
In the KARATE KID, Mr. Miyagi's dispatching of all the bullies kicking Daniel-San'a ass, without any of them landing a shot on him, and all of them shaken up/lying on the ground qualifies as an ass-kicking.
Joe Pesci and Rober DeNiro stomping a mobster almost to death in GOODFELLAS qualifies as an ass-kicking, as does the "justice by baseball bat" delivered to Pesci's character and his cousin in CASINO.
Another gem is Jim Belushi in THE PRINCIPAL giving the main protagonist his just desserts. "No More" indeed! His making short work of a would-be rapist of a teacher in the same movie also qualifies.
I've got two...
Jim Carrey in "Liar Liar" when he kicks his OWN ass, just so he can get a continuace in court, then standing before the bench, bloodied and mangled, he can't even lie to the judge when he is asked if he is fit enough to continue.
"Saving Private Ryan"...The company is torn apart by Cap'n Miller's (Hanks) decision to release the German soldier (Steamboat Willie, in the credits). Later , it is Pvt Mellish (Adam Goldberg) at the recieving end of his beat-down in the schoolhouse. They tussel for a good ten minutes before the German slowly impales Mellish on his own bayonet. I still cannot watch this whole scene at one sitting.... Powerful and poignant, especially the part with Cpl Upham. He is just outside in the stairwell, too consumed with fear to help and it's tearing him up inside.
All he can do is listen to his 'mate die.
Raging Bull: Jake LaMotta vs Sugar Ray Robinson (where Jake loses the title)
Rocky III: Clubber Lang vs Rocky I (Clubber wins)
First Blood: Rambo vs Teasle (actually Rambo vs everybody)
Unforgiven: As mentioned earlier Little Bill vs English Bob.
I disagree with Superman II. Superman left to protect the innocent bystanders. He could have easily stayed and continued to fight.
Kill Bill vol 1 - The scene with The Bride vs the Crazy 88. If that's not an underdog situation, I don't know what is.
Serenity - Mal's fight at the end with Bounty Hunter and avoiding the samurai death, yikes!
Bogart, disarming Peter Lorre in THE MALTESE FALCON. You don't pull a gun on Sam Spade. You just don't. (Later on, he does the same for Elisha Cook. He so completely outclasses the Fat Man's gang that by the story's end -- I say "story" because it originates in the novel by Dashiell Hammett -- it's clear that he's just been playing with them all along.)
I prefer mentioning stuff more than two years old, because I rebel at the idea of bestowing classic status on anything that hasn't stood the test of time (hence my awards to Harold Lloyd and BAD DAY AT BLACK ROCK), but there was one in just the last couple of years: three *very* pissed-off women vs. Kurt Russell in Quentin Tarantino's DEATH PROOF. Ya gotta admit, that was one serial killer who picked a fight with the wrong people. He never had a chance.
I scrolled all the way through to see if this had made the list, as I'd forgotten about it and wanted to add it, but Adam just above me beat me too it: DEATH PROOF, absolutely.
My husband pointed out this uneven match in STAR WARS: Grand Moff Tarkin vs. Alderaan.
Miss Piggy vs. Mel Brooks and some thugs in The Muppet Movie. (Hey, I closed the code correctly this time!)
If the double beatdown from ROCKY II is to be counted, then the double asskicking from THEY LIVE must count as well,
The Luke/Vader rematch in JEDI. Throughout the entire thing, Vader is clearly out of his depth (his being kicked down the stairs is just humiliating). When Luke finally cuts loose and actually fights his father rather than defending against him, the beatdown is epic. This asskicking also gets props for having an awesome score (the swelling choir as Luke proceeds to smack down always gives me chills).
Also, Palpitine vs. Luke. Total ass whuppin'.
I am shocked that nobody's mentioned the ass-kicking that Sonny Corleone gives to his shady brother in law in 'The Godfather' which leads to Sonny's horrific demise at a deserted toll-booth.
this probably doesn't count because it takes place off screen...would have loved to see it rank Sinatra vs Ernest Borgnine in From Here to Eternity, Sinatra shows up
Ms .45
Thana unloads her gun and her anger on a group of street thugs.
The Born Losers
Billy Jack puts a hurtin' on a biker in a one on one fight.
Bud Abbott Lou Costello Meet Frankenstein
Franky VS the Wolf Man. No contest.
Dogma
Jay and Silent Bob outclass the Azreal's skate punk Stygian Triplets.
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Mani has fun with the local thugs as he and Grégoire de Fronsac come to town.
Star Wars
OBi-Wan Kenobi VS the bar thugs.
Caveman
Atouk VS Tonda.
Well, the two which immediately came to my mind have been mentioned, repeatedly, but I've decided to add my vote to their tallies.
The Bride vs. the Crazy 88s in Kill Bill vol. 1. (The battles with Go Go Yubari and O-Ren Ishii (sp?) are both also great, but don't meet the "one-sided" criteria.)
River Tam vs. an entire bar in Serenity. Actually, River vs. the Reavers might qualify, too.
Also, I'm glad that someone mentioned Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - I was thinking that there was at least one candidate there, but it's been an unfortunate while since I've seen the film. (Hmm... may've just found a plan for tommorrow afternoon.)
Frankenstein Unbound: the monster sticks his hand through the chest of a gendarme, then rips the guy's heart out -
- and shows it to him before he dies!
(maybe a tad outside the rules but)
THE SIMPSONS - LARD OF THE DANCE: Homer and Bart concoct a scheme to steal grease and make money. Unfortunately, their final target ends up being the kitchen of Springfield Elementary and they piss off Willie by dipping into his "retirement grease"! Wille chases Homer into the air ducts, tackles Homer, and Willie waves his fists and says "Well, if it was up to me, I'd let ya go. But the
lads have a temper, and they've been drinkin' all day!" And then Wille proceeds to beat the unholy hell out of Homer, with Homer yelling matter-of-factly "Ow! Stop pummeling me! It's really painful!" (Willie's response: "Okay. I'll strangle ya for a while!")
War of the Worlds invasion fleet asses kicked by Viruses and bacteria
Or keeping it timely: Alien invasion fleet asses kicked by a mac power book whelding David "Brundel-fly" Levinson and Captain Steven "Big Will" Whitmore in Independence Day
I hold out for The Quiet Man. John Wayne, professional boxer, vs Barry Fitzgerald, big brawler. Yes Fitzgerald lands some punches mostly by cheating, which Wayne handles with aplomb, while Wayne systematically pummels Fitzgerald (who, granted, can take a punch with the best of them).
But at the end of the fight Wayne lays him out amongst the sweetpeas with one killadilla punch.
Superman vs. the Asteroid in the "Panic In The Sky" episode of "The Adventures of Superman
Superman vs. the crew of "The Golden Vulture"
George Reeves at his best. :)
Superman vs. a bowl of cereal. The cereal never had a chance.
If you are going to have a "Rocky"-related ass-kicking, my vote is "Rocky III". Either fight winds up being a total ass-kicking, so if you want to have it where Roccky wins, it would have to be the second fight, where he dares him, "Come on, my mother hits harder than that, come on, hit me harder this time!", in addition to changing his style, overcoming his fear and absolutely kicking the shit out of a stronger opponent.
Kaiser Soze vs. All those witnesses in Usual Suspects.
The Dude, Donnie and Walter vs. The Nihilists in Big Lebowski.
L vs. The Bug in MIB
And my personal favorite
The Harpo vs. The Theater Owner in Night at the Opera
It's comics, but what the hell, we've drifted here:
Captain America vs. Thanos, "Infinity Gauntlet #4." Probably the most one-sided fight this side of "Bambi vs. Godzilla," as Cap remains the lone hero face-to-face with the invincible god who has just killed the most powerful beings on earth. There Cap is, totally outclassed, knowing full well he's not gonna make it, and he STILL proceeds to deliver Thanos the obligatory "So long as one man stands against you" speech to Thanos, SOAKS UP a full-bore punch from Thanos thanks to his shield, gets in one useless punch, and then gets his spine broken with a casual backhand.
Every time someone even begins to think they can match up against Captain America for sheer wits or courage, or believes for even a second that Captain America will ever, ever, ever quit -- I'm lookin' at you, Tony Stark -- I think of that scene.
Yeah. Chingachcook vs. Magua. Major Ass-Whupping, and one of my favorite moments in movies.
Yeah. Chingachcook vs. Magua. Major Ass-Whupping, and one of my favorite moments in movies.
Well, if we're delving into comic books, I don't know, the Beyonder, Peter Parker's bathroom, I'm just sayin'....
Well, if we're going to go to comic books, there's a few that come to mind for me:
Galactus vs. the Beyonder
Phoenix vs. the Sh'iar cruiser (or the planet or anything)
Magik vs. Belasco
Beta Ray Bill vs. Thor
I know it is not a movie, but I just watched Star Trek: The Original Series episode "This Side of Paradise" where Spock kicks Kirk's ass until the violent emotions eradicate the spores from Spock's body Spock even hits a solid metal club and bends it in half! And Kirk goes into the fight knowing he would get a super-ass-kicking.
Put me down for ROBOCOP, although not for the previously mentioned scene. The last moments of Murphy were just brutal.
Han Solo vs. Greedo.
The Millenium Falcon vs. Darth Vader's TIE Fighter at the Death Star.
I first off have to congratulate whoever mentioned the "Happy Gilmore" fight
I have to mention Hartigan v the yellow freak in "Sin City". I mean he liquifies his face, and pulls his nuts off!
How come no one mentioned Neo hitting Smith with a train?! Or exploding him from the inside out?
How about Maggie v Albert Brooks in "The Simpsons Movie"? Maybe not the best, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
How about Ben Grimm vs. Dr. Doom in "And A Blind Man Shall Lead Them/The Battle of the Baxter Building" (FF #40?)?
I know it's cheating but somebody else already mentioned comics so blame them for starting it and not me :-)
Although, to make it half way relevant to the subject at hand, that story would have been perfect for "Fantastic Four 2". With a different cast. And a different director. And, well, a different everything.
Rex O'Herlihan vs. any of the Colonel's men in "Rusters' Rhapsody".
"I'll shoot you in the hand"
"In the hand? Not in the head or in the heart?"
"You heard me."
"I don't much like the thought of getting shot in the hand."
"Then go home."
"Go home?"
My dear husband thought of another one:
Shintarô Katsu's Zatoichi vs. anybody. Here's a taste of the blind swordsman in action:
an 80's teen classic-
Chris Makepiece vs. Matt Dillon in My Bodyguard.
Jet Li in Fist of Legend confronts a rival instructor who killed his master while he was away. He not only dismantles the guy in front of his students - proving his master must have been poisoned before the fight - but he only ever hits the guy on the right half of his body.
Sean Connery as James Bond vs Peter Maivia (The Rock's granddad) in "You Only Live Twice".
Bruce Lee vs "Petrov" in "Fists of Fury/The Chinese Connection".
Bruce Lee vs Chuck Norris in "Return of The Dragon".
Martel 'Too Sweet' Cordone vs 'Half Dead' Johnson in "Penitentiary".
In comics:
Odin vs Thanos
Punisher's final battle against Barracuda.
COOL HAND LUKE - George Kennedy vs. Paul Newman in a fight that has Kennedy kicking Newman's ass VERY badly. All Newman can do is hurl insults at Kennedy, which causes Kennedy to pound him further. Finally, George concedes and carries Paul Newman off because no matter how much he bashed Paul, he just couldn't shut him up.
Sean Connery as James Bond vs Peter Maivia (The Rock's granddad) in "You Only Live Twice".
Really? "High Chief" Peter Maivia? wow, now I have to rewatch it again! thanks!
I found this blog on a google search and boy am I glad I did. I thought I heard someone mention it in a free chat room.
Awesome read!