A 37? The man bowled a 37 during a campaign stop in Altoona?
How in God's name am I supposed to get behind a man who rolls a 37? Caroline bowls better than that, and she's five. I mean, okay, granted, Obama can probably tell a joke better than she can. Her most recent endeavor which she told me just now:
"Daddy! Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Banana!"
"Banana who?"
"Banana chair!" (followed by hysterical laughter)
Yeah. Anyway..
Thirty seven? Out of a possible 300?
Yo, Senator: Here's a bowling hint. That curved, deep wood channel on either side of the lane? The object is to keep your ball OUT of that.
I saw pictures of him in his endeavors. The man has no form at all. Even worse, he's a lefty.
Open invitation, Senator: Come to New York, I'll work with you for an hour, and we'll have you rolling strikes in no time. Until then...
Thirty seven? Good lord, we have to have SOME standards for a president.
PAD
Posted by Peter David at April 1, 2008 08:51 AM | TrackBack | Other blogs commentingThirty...seven.
I have to wonder if there's some cosmic significance to that.
But then, I also have to wonder about the jokes. Brian's current favorite is just like Caroline's, except it finishes "Banana nose!" or occasionally "Banana eyeball!"
PAD-
I know you're being facetious. He's got bigger fish to fry than slinging an 8 pound sphere down a lane. To project that facet on to a broader cloth is Rovian fallacy at work.
e.g " He's a lousy bowler so he must be a lousy President"
Some people just don't bowl. A 37 though ,jeez that is pretty pathetic as a score, but I'm not much better.
I'm pretty sure he'd never bowled before, PAD, you're gonna hold that against him.
From what I've read he spent more time on the court than the lanes.
Let's see you play some 1 on 1 with him.
Chicken Butt > Banana Chair
All of those years practicing his synchronized swimming, only for the first black winner of the Iowa caucuses to lose it over a 37 game of bowling.
At least there's a lane in the basement of the White House. He'll have plenty of time to practice.
"It's 3 a.m. There's a seven-ten split in the White House...."
I'm ashamed to admit it, but the first thing I thought when I heard his bowling score was "I'm looking forward to reading what Peter has to say about that." :)
First of all...an eight pound ball? That's what an eight year old rolls with. Ariel shoots a fourteen pound ball, and I use a fifteen pound. A man of normal strength should wind up flinging an eight pound ball halfway down the lane.
And yeah, he'd probably kill me in basketball. Then again, he's over six feet tall. Slight advantage there that no amount of training on my part is going to overcome.
And yes, Obama has bowled before. Just not for thirty years. That, to me, is a shocking lapse.
Don't know about Hillary, but Bill Clinton bowls, and bowls well. Just sayin'.
PAD
Even worse, he's a lefty.
HEY! As a southpaw, I'm duty-bound to resent that. (Of course, I also bowl better than a 37. Not a whole LOT better, mind you...)
And Katherine's just gotten into knock-knock jokes too. A sample:
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Nobody."
"Nobody who?"
"Nobody bibble zibble cuckoo heads!" (laughs)
TWL
Okay...
Proud uncle time.
My Sister-In-Law was driving their family to meet my brother at the Air Force Base and she got behind a car with a Crimson Tide bumper sticker. Well, something I didn't know was that the Tide's mascot is an elephant. Well, Sister-In-Law just says out load "Why is their mascot an elephant?"
Two and half year old neice (in the back) replys "Well, they had a hippo but they lost it."
Rimshot.
And as for me... for golfing I have a great bowling score and for bowling I have a great golfing score.
Travis
Well--to be fair, it was only seven frames.
Still pretty sad, though. However, considering that I'm just as bad at basketball as he is at bowling...I shouldn't really say anything...
Great April 1st post, PAD.
Only thing I can say about Obama's bowing skills.... I may have a slight chance to beat him. Though that might be in question, too.
...but Bill Clinton bowls, and bowls well.
Bowling-gate, anyone?
If americans could elect a president because they felt they could share a beer with him...
...wont they elect one who they can share a bowling night and be certain they will win?
Et Tu Peter?
It's bad enough that Scarborough calls his bowling “dainty” and “prissy.” And Chris Matthews emotes that "the fact that he’s good at basketball doesn’t surprise anybody." "But the fact that he’s that terrible at bowling does make you wonder,"
But then one of my favorite writers has to pile on.
Ugh... ;)
I once bowled a ONE. All gutterballs and one pin.
Much to my dad's everlasting shame and disappointment. (He was captain of the bowling team in high school.) Bowling means so much to him that when I came home for my first visit in five months, he went bowling rather than come to my homecoming dinner. I sh!t you not.
A 37? That man is my bowling GOD.
I have to wonder if there's some cosmic significance to that.
It wasn't 42, so no. :)
Using a black bowling ball to smash apart a group of white pins is old politics. Obama is an agent of change in this world, and wants to serve America by uniting rather than knocking down. Let his opponents describe being outside the usual alleys as being in the gutters.
Besides, his ball had holes in it.
It wasn't 42, so no. :)
You know, I think I'd feel better if it was a 42. That might mean he had some real answers for us... IF we could remember our questions. ;-)
I love Caroline's joke. Maybe it's just the fact that she's five, but I laughed pretty hard when I read that.
Besides, his ball had holes in it.
From DINOSAURS, if anybody remembers that:
"Who filled in the holes in my bowling ball? Oh, wait, never mind -- here's some more."
TWL
Maybe he grew up playing candlepins. I know that with my ten pin hook, I can't bowl candlepins to save my life.
...but Bill Clinton bowls, and bowls well.
There's a naughty joke there somewhere....
HEY! As a southpaw, I'm duty-bound to resent that. (Of course, I also bowl better than a 37. Not a whole LOT better, mind you...)
My fault, I wasn't clear on that. I'm a lefty, so that was more a matter of injured lefty pride rather than a diss of lefties.
It's bad enough that Scarborough calls his bowling “dainty” and “prissy.” And Chris Matthews emotes that "the fact that he’s good at basketball doesn’t surprise anybody." "But the fact that he’s that terrible at bowling does make you wonder,"
Yeah, that was idiotic. My issue with his form was based on his mechanics, such as that he wasn't bringing his arm through properly. I wasn't using it as a means of challenging his masculinity. I'll bet anything that Scarborough and Matthews can't bowl for crap either. As for "dainty," have you ever watched any of the pro women bowlers? Graceful and feminine in their delivery and still capable of shredding the rack with the best of them.
PAD
I think I read that along with the White House cinema there is a White House bowling lane. So send him to Washington so he can get some practice in.
Hillary just had a press conference where she challenged Obama to a bowl-off. Winner take all!
"shredding the rack with the best of them."
Peter, isn't that what got Bill Clinton in trouble?
I'm a lefty, so that was more a matter of injured lefty pride rather than a diss of lefties.
Fair enough; thanks for the clarification. Not that I was gigantically offended, but it certainly helps to know.
TWL
J. Alexander,
I think that would be SHEDDING the rack, not shredding...
TWL
Shedding the rack? Slurping the rack maybe...
OKOK... now we are just being juvenile!
"The man has no form at all. Even worse, he's a lefty."
So you're a southpaw, too. And so is Obama. Nice to know that being left-handed doesn't mean you have no chance for success in this world.
In my late teens and early twenties i bowled some; it was always fun to watch the kid behind the counter when i asked for left-handed shoes. (For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool - there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
Drove my dad to desperation trying to teach me - for some reason i threw a "Brooklyn" hook that broke the wrong way for a lefty.
Never was interested enough to get my own ball, and with the size of my hands (especially my thumbs) i usually wound up having to use a top-weight house ball in order to get one that didn't try to pull me down the lane with it when my thumb stuck.
Never did get really good.
A story about holes in bowling balls:
The Miller Lite campaign featuring sports type guys (and Mickey Spillane, for some reason) included one spot in which a girl brought a bowling ball up to Buba Smith, and said "Hey - this one doesn't have holes in it!" and Bubba went "No problem" - Crunch! - and poked holes in it with his fingers.
The ball was rigged with tissue pasted over the holes and treated with lacquer to make it stiff and shiny. Billy Martin and Spillane swiped the ball, got another that really *didn't* have holes in it, and marked it with circles drawn in grease pencil like the gimmicked ball.
Bubba takes the gaffed ball, stabs his fingers - hard - into what's supposed to be breakaway tissue paper...
It's claimed he bowled a strike overhand.
As Jim McClain observes, this number has special significance to some of us. I think this was just Obama masterfully reaching out to the Kevin Smith fanbase.
(For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool - there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
Is that anything like a left-handed spanner?
TWL
In my late teens and early twenties i bowled some; it was always fun to watch the kid behind the counter when i asked for left-handed shoes. (For the benefit of those who have never bowled, this is not an April Fool - there really *is* such a thing as a pair of left-handed bowling shoes.)
Sure is. I own a pair, with the right sole and heel (my sliding foot) designed differently from the left.
PAD
Peter, how long before you think Hillary or the right wing will actually use this as a reason why Obama shouldn't be President?
Richard Nixon bowled back to back 300 games. Is that who you want for President PAD?
Yes I'm aware it's a Simpson gag.
Luigi: "Peter, how long before you think Hillary or the right wing will actually use this as a reason why Obama shouldn't be President?"
She already has. There is even video of the press conference.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23903195/
Personally, I think Obama should take the offer. It would be harder to think of the campaign as negative if they're getting together to bowl a game.
From DINOSAURS, if anybody remembers that:
"Not the mamma!"
I'd have to have a smackdown on the staffer who arranged that photo op. I mean if you have never bowled in your life (and I have a horrible hook) you would think you could get closer to 100+.
I'm waiting for him to show off his shooting skills to get that NRA vote.
Posted by: Steve Chaput
I'm waiting for him to show off his shooting skills to get that NRA vote.
I don't know - he might accidentally miss the hunter and hit the quail, and that would look bad.
Personally, I think Obama should take the offer. It would be harder to think of the campaign as negative if they're getting together to bowl a game.
So long as she accepts his inevitable offer of "H.O.R.S.E.", I'd pay to see that.
Luigi: "Peter, how long before you think Hillary or the right wing will actually use this as a reason why Obama shouldn't be President?"
She already has. There is even video of the press conference.
Now let's be fair--that was actually a pretty funny bit. And she hasn't been too great on the funny this campaign.
Basic physics: for the same energy input, a more massive ball will deliver more momentum. Also, a more massive ball can be given more energy via lifting it to the same height as a lighter ball. The tradeoff is that a heavier ball is harder to control, requiring more torque to put a spin on, etc. And you're more likely to injure yourself if your technique isn't good. So the trick is to use the heaviest ball you can control, and no heavier. :)
I don't know - he might accidentally miss the hunter and hit the quail, and that would look bad.
Or he might shoot one of his lawyer friends, thus ensuring the VP spot.
TWL
Craig J Ries said:
"Not the mamma!"
Also from Dinosaurs: "I'm gonna bite you now!"
--Capt Naraht
I hope one day to have a daughter like that. I mean, I make jokes as weird as hers all the time. Drives everyone insane, which makes it even funnier. My poor, poor girlfriend.
(Once upon a time, there was a party. What I was doing there is anyone's guess, I hate parties. But it was a party of the theatre group I was part of at the time, and a lot of people there were very geeky. But then there was this one girl - a new girl who actually said she was just there because the director was cute - who kept calling us all freaks. This, combined with her rather spectacular stupidity, provoked my good friend Anna and myself into telling a large number of completely meaningless jokes to confuse her and freak her out.
"Two men are walking down the street. A third one gets on a bus.
*hysterical laughter*"
It worked. Her eyes grew large, her brain overheated and her head exploded. Well, almost. But we certainly freaked her out.)
Banana chair. I'm going to remember that. It made me giggle quite deliciously.
Dinosaur references:
I will always remember the image of the Baby hitting the father on the head saying "Not the Mama" over and over again. Earl warns him if he does it one more time he is going to throw the baby across the Room. The Baby blinks, smiles a big smile and then pulls back the pan and Yells Not the MAMA.
Next shot is the Baby slamming into the wall and sliding down. he stands up shakes himself off raises up his arms and says "Again!"
Anyone remember the Dino bowling team Earl was on?
A 37???
Even for seven frames, that's exceptionally bad.
I sort of remember the bowling team, but my biggest memory is of their anti-drug episode. It was the usual thing, but then at the end "Robbie" broke character: "Hi. I'm Robert Sinclair. You may know me as charming teenager Robbie Sinclair on the hit TV show Dinosaurs. But I'm here to talk to you about drugs. One of the insidious things about drugs is that it causes otherwise funny shows to do the obligatory "message" episode, like this one. We're only in our first season and we've already had one. So please, stay away from drugs, and prevent preachy sitcom endings like this one."
(I may not have the dialogue exactly right, but that's the gist.)
One of the single funniest episode endings I've ever seen.
TWL
Hillary just announced that on a campaign stop at a different bowling alley, she had a 319 game.
Under sniper fire.
At 3 am.
With a phone ringing.
"Jeff In NC at April 1, 2008 09:04 PM'
Women multi-task! :-)
Was she carrying an 8lb baby under each arm and wearing the stone bodice of McAdder?
I always thought the punchline was "Banana glad I didn't say orange".
I heard on Air America today "Hillary, ready to bowl on day one."
Yup, I remember the show DINOSAURS (and not just 'cuz my store sold both DVD sets, which I think make up the whole show). What I remember most was the ending [SPOLIER ALERT -- if you care about the ending of a show that's been off the air for 14 years now) as an amazing downer: Earl, the show's hero, accidentally starts the ice age that leads to the extinction of the dinosaurs, and the last shot was the dinosaurs huddled together for warmth as the snow fell. Enjoy, kids!
So, Obama shot a 37? No wonder Hillary won here in Michigan. With over 90,000 league bowlers in Detroit and over 250,000 statewide, we're not gonna vote for somebody who can bowl. And Obama should be embarrassed for letting people know that he was throwing a 8 pound ball. Real men throw 16 pound balls. For all you non-bowling types, a 16 pound ball is the heavest ball you can use bowling. Heck, I'd throw a 20 pound brick if if was legal.
"ROCKIN' & WRECKIN' IN THE D"
Peace.
Maybe you read it wrong? Perhaps he bowled a 37... WITH ONE BALL!!!
Bowlbama pwns you!
Posted by Sig at April 1, 2008 09:39 AM
At least there's a lane in the basement of the White House. He'll have plenty of time to practice.
Last I heard (a LONG time ago, as you'll see), the bowling lane was installed over the swimming pool by Nixon's people. (Nixon preferred bowling to swimming.) Then, when Ford (on his school swim team, I think?) took over, he had the lane torn up so he could swim. Were replacement lanes ever put in?
And, at the rist of turning this into a "Dinosaurs" thread, the best phrase from that show imho was "We're going to need a new Timmy!"
"Hillary just had a press conference where she challenged Obama to a bowl-off. Winner take all!"
_____
One switched letter away from challenging Monica?
Kim, wikipedia still lists the White House as having both a bowling alley and a swimming pool.
whitehousemuseum.org has some pictures of the room, including recent bowlers.
Lousy bowler... good basketball player...
I wonder how he dances? That's probably a significant indicator.
Can he dance as well as, say, Hitler did? That Hitler... now there was a dancer. He could dance the pants off Churchill, you know...
Can he dance as well as, say, Hitler did? That Hitler... now there was a dancer. He could dance the pants off Churchill, you know...
Not only that, but he was better looking than Churchill, he was a better dresser than Churchill, had more hair and told funnier jokes. Plus he could paint an entire apartment in one afternoon. Two coats!
PAD
I realize that's from The Producers, but all I can think of is Kate Bush's "Heads We Dance." Cool song if you've never heard it.
TWL
Whoops, sorry. That's "Heads We're Dancing" if you want to look for it, not "Heads We Dance."
TWL
I love Banana Chair! Why has no one posted Banana Chair t-shirts at CaféPress yet?
Does Caroline bowl with those pop-up gutter blockers? (which they never had when I was a kid. @#%$ kids today ... all those balls I watched slide down the gutter ... ahem sorry) If so, she may have Barack at a slight advantage.
Not taking any of this too seriously, please, But If that were me (and yes I do understand how busy campaigning could be) I would have found an hour somewhere just to maybe bowl a few frames and get the rust off. And umm ehhh embarrassed to say now that I bowled with an 8 pound ball until I was 18.
Cmon...you can't tell me Obama doesn't have a few rich friends with a lane in their house. Yeah I'm serious about that part. :) (No Im not rich, and yes I do know 2 people who have a bowling lane in their house. They are rich)
Michael, maybe he did practice beforehand and he's just that bad.
One weird thing, I disagree with a Daily Show joke from last night. They showed a clip of someone saying "Obama should stick to basketball," and then Jon Stewart said, "Wow, that's really... racist." That seems oversensitive to me. The guy didn't say that all black people are good at basketball, he said that Obama was good at basketball. Since Obama was on his high school basketball team, that is true. That joke didn't seem racist to me, it just felt like a variation on, "Don't quit your day job."
Hey! I'm a lefty, and I have an average of 125! (this, after bowling for 11 years...ick)
And I liked your daughter's joke....
I made up a joke when I was 7 years old:
"Cats have kittens, dogs have puppies. What do guinea pigs have? New Guineas!"
Hey! I'm a lefty, and I have an average of 125! (this, after bowling for 11 years...ick)
A couple of years back, went on a first date with a lady who liked to bowl, so we decided to give that a try. I had bowled exactly twice in my life and I was about 8 when I had, so I consider that time to have been my first experience with bowling. I scored 112 on my first game. Admittedly, I score in the 90s on the second and third games, but I blame the fact that my fingers were sore from being rubbed wrong on release/not having built up the proper calluses(sp?).
And I'm clumsy, uncoordinated, and basically hopeless as an athlete. I think I'm going with the theory the blogger, digby, posited that Obama was using a right-handed ball.
37 is certainly a magic number. Count all the 37s you see in one day and you will see...
(The blog is written in swedish and not completed, but at least it is about the powers about 37..)
The drilling of the ball wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was bringing his arm across his body instead of straight through in a pendulum arc.
PAD
The drilling of the ball wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was bringing his arm across his body instead of straight through in a pendulum arc.
So he's just lousy at it, huh? Well, I admit I had the advantage of having my girlfriend giving me tips on what I wanted to do throughout the game. He probably couldn't take advantage of any coaching and still look "presidential."
>"Banana chair!" (followed by hysterical laughter)
Yeah. Anyway..
So she gets her humour from her mother's side, hunh?
(Duck & hide...)
(Maybe Obama should have found an excuse to come up here and try 10 pin bowling. Much smaller, lighter balls, easier to control...)
The funny thing about this topic is that when I first read it, I thought it was a joke by PAD. I mean, c'mon: On April Fool's Day PAD (an avid bowler) announced not only that the chink in Obama's armor is his bowling skill, but also that Obama bowled an amazingly low 37! I mean really, who'd believe it?
Amazingly, I learned the truth about this story when, as I read it here, they reported it on THE DAILY SHOW. Go figure: I found out the truth behind a news story from a fake news comedy show!
I know this is completly off topic but you guys have to read this hillarious review of SECRET INVASION done by comic book resources done in Bendis style. This was hillarious.
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=user_review&id=44
Joe V.
I like the Banana Chair joke. It's pretty funny. It reminds me of that old joke:
"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? ...
A FISH!"
Ah, I love that joke.
To be fair to Mr. Obama, he bowled a 37, but he quit after or during the 7th frame. Which means that, had he bowled three more frames, he was likely to finish with a 52 or 53. Or, if you approach this with the logic of the Clinton campaign, he could have possibly finished with a 127!
Now, the fact that he didn't finish the game might label him a defeatist or (worse) a quitter in some people's minds. Nothing could be farther from the truth.
The fact was, the game was being video taped. It was part of Mr. Obama's campaign stops across Pennsylvania. Obama had thrown several gutter balls and realized that he had to stop in order to live up to earlier campaign promises: To Avoid Gutter Politics!
Personally, I think it was admirable of Mr. Obama to have the self-awareness, grace and courage to withdraw from a situation where he was clearly in over his head, where seeing the game out to the bitter end would likely lead to some worse outcome.
Thanks for that link, Joe V! A bit insulting to Mamet, perhaps, but pretty good stuff.
Apparently--according to a Newsweek article I read--McCain has a hard time lifting his arms due to them being broken repeatedly during his POW period. So, it's very likely he couldn't even bowl a 37! That being the case, Peter, you can now sleep soundly knowing your candidate is still the best choice!
Well, perhaps McCain and Obama can get together for a poker game once the nominations are sorted out. Highest ratings ever for ESPN 2.
You think that's pathetic? I once got a gutter ball... IN BUMPER BOWLING.
I read somewhere that something like 1/3 of all the US presidents to date have been left-handed, including Clinton. We lefties do crazy shit in this world.
Sorry Red, only 7 Presidents have been left handed.
http://ask.yahoo.com/20000216.html
That's still 16%, which is more than you'd expect since 10% of Americans are left handed.
For those who say that conservatives don't have a sense of humor, witness Mary Katharine Ham (who is also remarkably easy on the eyes) attempt to match Obama's remarkable achievement...
http://townhall.com/video/HamNation/1450_040408Bowl
It's tougher than it looks.
So is she, by the way.
J.
It's fascinating that Obama should be discussed for such foolish trifles as bowling. We ARE talking about a person who very well could be the next President of this country. Who gives a damn about his bowling score anyway?? The most intriquing news I've heard about him was a threat to bring Al Gore into an Obama adminstration. Imagine the EPA being run by a proven enviromental fraud. Truly fascinating!
"Who gives a damn about his bowling score anyway??"
People with a sense of humor.
Actually, Jason, I was thinking the people he was bowling against....
coulda been worse.
she could have said "bannanaphone"
That's it. As a left handed bowler, a junior bowling coach who has had a 185 average and a high game of 252, I'm coming out of retirement so I can train Obama. It can be done.
Levi C: Here are the basic training tools for one such as Obama...Baseball bat, stun gun, deprograming literature. You're correct though, it can be done.
Humph! No sense of humor INDEED!
Why would anyone need deprogramming literature to deal with Obama when he owes nothing to any special interest?
Well, I guess Hillary lost your vote too (again):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjNxBQzHoM8
-- Ken from Chicago
P.S. What the frell do you have against (us) lefties? Oh wait, envy of our enhanced intellect.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Left-handed#Left-handedness_and_intelligence
Posted by Peter David at April 1, 2008 01:38 PM
HEY! As a southpaw, I'm duty-bound to resent that. (Of course, I also bowl better than a 37. Not a whole LOT better, mind you...)
My fault, I wasn't clear on that. I'm a lefty, so that was more a matter of injured lefty pride rather than a diss of lefties.
PAD
Oh, um, ... nevermind my previous postscript.
-- Ken from Chicago
Hillary Clinton on Ellen got a gutter ball her first attempt and 1 pin on her second:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/08/clintons-bowling-skills-a-bit-rusty/
Fortunately, ones bowling ability has NOTHING to do with ones ability to be a leader, be successful at many other things and even become president of the USA. Hows that from someone who is not even an Obama supporter.
I had to reply to the emptiness and lack of depth to equating bowling score to anything !!!