New York governor Eliot Spitzer has tendered his resignation due to his involvement in a prostitution ring. David Paterson, the lieutenant governor, will assume office.
When Paterson, who is legally blind, was asked how he felt being the first Black governor of New York, Paterson was quoted as saying, "Wait...I'm Black? Seriously? Are you putting me on?" Paterson professed to be completely surprised by the revelation, and when reporters expressed incredulity that he was unaware of his skin color, Paterson said, "What part of 'legally blind' is unclear?"
PAD
Posted by Peter David at March 12, 2008 12:14 PM | Other blogs commentingIn other tasteless joke news:
David Paterson, the blind lieutenant governor who will assume office, told reporters when asked if he had used hookers, "Yeah, but as you might imagine, much less expensive hookers ... I ... I think I felt an adam's apple once."
Those jokes sound in very good taste - at least so long as one doesn't swallow.
Well....it depends, Jeffrey, on whether you Spitzer swallow.
Well....it depends, Jeffrey, on whether you Spitzer swallows.
you people are sick.
it's what I like about you.
Having a crappy day, so the Spitzer swallows is much appreciated!
On a side note, does anyone know if this is the first instance of a disabled person becoming a governor?
Nevermind!
AP reports: "He will be the state's first legally blind governor and its first disabled governor since Franklin D. Roosevelt."
I like this guy already!
Former Gov. Mario M. Cuomo recalled playing basketball against him (David Paterson) in a charity game a decade ago.
“David was on the other side,” Mr. Cuomo said. “I said: ‘What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be blind.’ He said, ‘I’m guarding you.’ Just what I wanted: a blind guy to guard me. The second time down the court, he stole the ball.”
I bet Silda Spitzer now wishes she had taken the $4,300 her husband offered her for sex.
I'm just looking forward to the new guy having to resign when it's revealed he's actually illegally blind...
I liked Stephen Colbert's joke: "I sat next to the guy three times and I didn't pick up on any of this. And I usually have excellent whore-dar."
I was talking about this with my barber today and he said his wife asserted, "If I were paying $4300 for a prostitute, after the sex he'd better be ready to paint my house in addition."
PAD
My wife and I and a friend of ours were talking about this, and my wife said "For $4300, she better have gold-plated naughty bits."
"On a side note, does anyone know if this is the first instance of a disabled person becoming a governor?"
Well, in the late '90s, Bush was governor of Texas...
Richard Pryor did that exact same joke when he played a blind man in "See No Evil, Hear No Evil".
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098282/
The kicker was when he turned to his brother and asks, "Does mom know?"
I was talking about this with my barber today and he said his wife asserted, "If I were paying $4300 for a prostitute, after the sex he'd better be ready to paint my house in addition."
Change the he to a she, and that's exactly what my dad said.
TWL
Actually in "See No Evil, Hear No Evil" Richard Pryor's character asks his sister "Does Mom know?" He didn't have a brother in that movie.
This is fast becoming the best political year ever! And it's nowhere near over!
This also just adds to the mountain of woes for Hillary Clinton--Spitzer was a super delegate for her (though between this and the trouble she got for defending his illegal alien drivers license proposal you have to wonder if he was a double agent for Obama). And Geladine Ferraro had to fall on her sword today as well. They're dropping like flies.
"They're dropping like flies."
Yeah, and that and the dropping pants is what got him in trouble in the first place.
Posted by BBayliss at March 12, 2008 01:21 PM
"On a side note, does anyone know if this is the first instance of a disabled person becoming a governor?"
David Blunkett was UK Home Secretary whilst also being fully blind up until a couple of years ago.
Striking a strong blow for equality he also managed to cause a tremendous scandal by having an affair with a much younger married woman, fathering not one but two children with her before finally having to resign when it was found that he'd abused his position to fast track a visa for her nanny...
Swear to God, you couldn't make this up!
Cheers.
"Did Paterson grow up with Clayton Bigsby? :-)"
Good one. The Dave Chapell Show, right?
I just couldn't resist sharing this excerpt from a story in today's Houston Chronicle:
"CNN said it shouldn't have used a former U.S. attorney who quit his job after allegedly biting a stripper as an analyst about New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's prostitution scandal."
Not that I am defending Spitzer but a man does not pay a prostitute for sex, he pays her to leave when it is done....lol
I confess I stole this hoke.
"You don't pay a Prostitute for sex, he pays her to leave."
Which I think is a better wording of the definition that John Conner used... but I love the definition in any form.
Richard Pryor did that exact same joke when he played a blind man in "See No Evil, Hear No Evil"
Never saw the film.
PAD
Sorry to go off topic but PAD - have you seen the new Incredible Hulk trailer yet? Any thoughts on it?
David Letterman said:
"Spitzer? I never even kissed her!"
Funnily enough, when I used this same joke in "Star Trek: The Pepsi Generation" 20 years ago, I got a lot of flack from the Politically Correct Squad. I even had an actor quit on me once because he thought I was a racist for doing a joke about a blind black guy (in my case Jordie) not knowing he was black.
I LOVED 'Star Trek: The Pepsi Generation!' My friends and I still enjoy watching it!
RonD:
You hit the another version of the same story i did (this is part of a comment i just posted on COmicMix):
I just read a piece that says CNN is saying that, perhaps, they made a bad choice of on-air political commentator:
"[CNN brought in] former U.S. Attorney Kendall Coffey to comment on the scandal involving New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer. The cable news network made no mention of the fact that Coffey himself was forced to quit his job in 1996 after he was accused of biting a topless dancer at an adult nightclub." (http://imdb.com/news/sb/2008-03-13/#11)
The Miami Herald remarked that he was, perhaps, overqualified as an analyst on this, or words to that effect.
Speaking of prostitutes and political commentators:
Ann Coulter has posted a column (a totally fair and balanced column, of course) explaining how Spitzer's problems are Bad News for the Clinton compaign
WHOREABLE BEHAVIOR Wed Mar 12, 7:57 PM ETThis is a disaster for Hillary Clinton.
According to the wiretaps, New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer was delighted to be getting the prostitute "Kristen" again. At least he knew her name. It took Monica Lewinsky's boyfriend six sexual encounters to remember her name (raising his lifetime average to 8.2).You know that queasy feeling you get thinking about Bill Clinton back in the White House again? Now you remember why. Hillary Clinton couldn't feel worse about the Spitzer case if she were an actual New Yorker.
Proving that Karl Marx got everything wrong -- more bad news for Hillary -- history is indeed repeating itself...
PLEAEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!! No more Spitzer swallows jokes!!!
They're just sick gags!!!!!
Sorry.
On the other hand, if this Kristen chick is so good at bringing down politicians (and they're pants), well, anyone got the number for 1600 Pennsylvania.....
Just thinking.
"I even had an actor quit on me once because he thought I was a racist for doing a joke about a blind black guy (in my case Jordie) not knowing he was black"
Reminds me of the TNG How To Host A Mystery box set. We all got together to do it, and somehow I ended up as Geordi, who I introduced as the first famous blind black guy not to play piano. Sure, it's only half-witted, but it was made even worse when I screwed up the line.
When a Democrat wants to cheat on his wife, he goes to a hotel and spends $4,300 per hour on a high-end hooker.
When a Republican wants to cheat on his wife, he goes to an airport and have anonymous gay sex -- for free.
All of this just proves, yet again, that Republicans are more fiscally conscientious of taxpayers' money.
hilariously, the spitzer family is in ruins, his wife and three daugheters will never be the same, and most of the prostitutes at the agency in question ended up addicted to hard drugs.
And my joke had nothing to do with the Spitzer family, his wife, his three children, or the prostitutes. But thanks for trying to piss on things.
PAD
When it reigns it whor-er pours:
Um, reportedly the new governor is learned from the ex-governor. Guess who else cheated on his wife? From the you can't make this stuff up department:
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/politics/ny-staffair0318,0,5773106.story
Altho in the new governor's case, it was mutual cheating deal.
-- Ken from Chicago (who doesn't understand why after cheating on wives the politicians then proceed to drag the wives out when they are apologizingl as if the wives haven't suffered enough public humiliation already)
"On a side note, does anyone know if this is the first instance of a disabled person becoming a governor?"
Well, in the late '90s, Bush was governor of Texas...
Well now, I work with people with disabilities and they would be offended by that statement. They don't want Bush on their team!
"On a side note, does anyone know if this is the first instance of a disabled person becoming a governor?"
FDR in the 1920s-- Governor of NY with polio.
JFK's back.
Not to mention President Andrew Johnson (1865-1969) who had the disability of being a Complete Asshole
--Captain Naraht
So I asked my wife, "Just what do you get for a $4000+ hooker?"
She replies, "Do you have $4000?"
I sez, "no."
She sez, "Well when you have it, ask me again."
So I fished around in my pocket to see what did I have.
I ask, "What can I get for $20?"
She didn't reply, but the bruise I have on my arm is healing nicely.
True story!
Reading the Caulter column, it amazes me that she used this to bash the Clintons. I know, I know - she uses ANYTHING to bash the Clintons. But it seems more egregious than normal (AFAIK; I don't think I've ever read any of her stuff before). I just can't see how this even remotely involves the Clintons. Must be a reflex - whenever she opens her mouth or her keyboard it comes out. I can see her grocery shopping list:
- Milk
- Eggs
- BILL CLINTION IS EVIL!!!
- Butter
- HILARY IS EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!
- Bread
- Paper towels
- Peanut Butter
- AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON CHELSA!!!!!!!!!
- Hamburger
"JFK's back."
He IS?!
"JFK's back."
"He IS?!"
Damn right he is. And let me just add that John Wayne and the King aren't dead--they're frozen! And once we find the cure for cancer John Wayne, JFK, Elvis and a case of whiskey are gonna head to the Afghan/Pakistani border, find Osama bid Laden and finish what he started.
Chelsea Clinton will come in later to do mop-up. Tell Ann Coulter not to wait up.
--Captain Naraht
"My name is George Bush, and I went to the White House in the short limo."
Say with a vacant, I-can't-believe-it look on your face.
From the Ann Coulter column quoted by Mike Weber earlier in this thread:
"At least he knew her name. It took Monica Lewinsky's boyfriend six sexual encounters to remember her name (raising his lifetime average to 8.2)."
Wow! That's either an incredible display of mathematical ignorance on Coulter's part or she's making a joke I am completely missing.
When I read that passage in Mike Weber's post, I clicked the link to read Coulter's column in context. I wanted to make sure it actually read that way in the original, and that there wasn't some additional text which made sense of what she'd written. Nope -- what Mike quoted is correct.
What leaps out at me immediately on reading that passage is that 6 is less than 8.2. If it took Bill Clinton 6 encounters to learn Monica's name, and his lifetime average is 8.2 encounters to learn a name, then there is no way this raised his lifetime average. It lowered it.
The obvious defense would be that Coulter made the error deliberately, to make the column funnier. But I can see no comedic purpose to this error. Quite the contrary, the math error distracts from and ruins the joke for anyone who can do simple arithmetic.
Oh, well. I see by the dateline on her column that it came out a week ago. Not much point in my mentioning this error at this late date, then, since by now many of her loyal readers will no doubt have spotted the error and pointed it out to her.
I didn't even know what the #### she meant by that 8.2 thing until you explained it. Makes no sense mind you, but at least I understand what she was trying to say now.