10) Laugh real loud so everyone will think I’m classy enough to be saying something funny right now so they won’t know I’m dying inside.
9) So tell me: Does the carpeting match the drapes?
8) I gotta pee.
7) My broker is E.F. Hutton, and E.F. Hutton says…
6) There is another Skywalker.
5) So how’s Saddam?
4) They're real...and they're spectacular.
3) Your fly’s unzipped.
2) Would you tell your friends in the producer’s guild to settle with the writers already?
1) Happy New Year.
This has all happened before, and it will happen again.
"There is some good news. I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO!"
"Didn't you think this went better when Mark Waid wrote it 10 years ago?"
"Don't you just love Lost In Translation, too?"
*dies laughing*
Say, Peter, are you in the market for another slightly used daughter? I don't take up much space...
:)
2) Would you tell your friends in the producer’s guild to settle with the writers already?
Luigi Novi: ROTFLMAO.
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father; prepare to die."
"I think I've paid more than my share
Hey, I'm not wearing underwear..."
TWL
"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Savior?"
"Could you record an outgoing message for my voice mail? I swear, it'll only take a second..."
"How will the WGA strike affect the storylines you had planned for 'According To Jim'?"
"Can you get me transferred to the DC Universe? I'll even take a spot in Aquaman's rogue's gallery. _Anything._ I'm begging you, man..."
My favorites were #s 10 & 9.
Um, let's see...
Well, this is kind of mediocre but it's all I've got:
"Now, what's puzzling me is the nature of your game..."
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."
"Who'da thunk I'd end up in some weird May-December romance!"
OR
"Aunt Maybe NOT!"
"Next time, could you please just punch at the walls of reality or something?"
"I think that breaking up Petey and MJ is great. My name is Dave Sim."
"What Peter doesn't know is that we've secretly replaced the coffee they normally serve here with Folgers Crystals. Let's see if he can tell the difference before his life goes all to hell."
"It's your kids Mephisto, something's gotta be done about your kids"
"Don't you know the X-Men? We redheads ALWAYS come back"
"Rosebud."
"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!" (To be followed by three goofy Cardinals rushing in.)
"So long, and thanks for all the fish."
"Didn't you sing backup on Ozzy's early albums?"
"Don't you sing backup on all of Britney Spears' albums?"
"Soylent green is... delicious!"
1 why didn't i just stay possessed by red snoja's sword that story was better then this and it just happened
2 i'm really a skull boy do we have peter hossed
I have to tell you...from this close up you look like Bendis wearing a Wendy's wig...
Since I can see you're working the head to toe red tights angle as fiercely as Wanda Maximoff, is this the part where you whisper "No more MJ" because..dude...I think she has that copywrited by now...
"NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!"
"I can't believe it's not butter."
"I see dead people."
"Red really isn't your color."
"Hakuna Matata"
"Wow. You know how lame your rep's gonna be now?"
"One of the three of us is secretly a Skrull anyway."
"If you can change history like this, wouldn't it make a lot more sense to save Uncle Ben?"
"Did Franklin Richards really kick your ass once?"
"A nun, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar..."
"Just don't let Joe Quesada bring back that slut Gwen!"
.... and no, I don't really thing Gwen's a "slut," but I never let good taste ruin a joke.
Bill Mulligan:
"I told you once, you son of a bitch, I'm the best that's ever been."
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
John Seavey: "Did Franklin Richards really kick your ass once?"
I was thinking along those lines: "I know Franklin Richards."
ButI am going to have to go with:
“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"
or
"Tell me, have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?"
"...and then he says to the room, 'Ok, Coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads.'"
"As long as the fans remember, it still happened."
"This is the best thing to come out of left field since Manny Ramirez"
"Dude, Where's my Continuity"
"Anytime you call my Ringtone is 'Secret Lover'"
"Weren't you supposed to say 'Deal?... Or no Deal?'"
"Congratulations, now Compared to this, Ishtar is going to make sense."
"Why Don't We do it in the Road, Nobody will be watching us..."
"Do you think attaching a reprint of our wedding to the end of this disaster is a bit much?"
Yes, the carpet matches the drapes.
Hey! She is having a discussion with the devil after all!
"I see dead writers"
or
"If you retcon it, they will come.. with bats.."
"Matt Murdock nothing my lawyer is Danniel Webster."
"Tony Danza and Scott Baio are actually the same person."
"Gimme the Giants, with the points, against Tampa Bay."
"You mah daddeh, devil man!"
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
"Hakuna matata...bitches..."
"Save the Cheerleader and save the world.... GIMME AN A! ! ! ... "
"DEY say you BRADE RUNNER!"
"That was very foolish, Mr. Bond!"
"I have just one question... 'Do I make you horny, baby?'"
"Hey, MORON... I'm up HERE!" (finger under his chin- jerks his head up)
"Bruce Willis found out that his dead at the end of The Sixth Sense"
"It's probably just as well; I think I was getting radiation poisoning from Peter's love juice."
I think MJ says she will remember everything.
Ho vinto qualche cosa?
"Jim-- I have been and always be-- your friend."
"Well-- my mom always said, if you go out with Flash Thompson, you're heading right to hell. At least I took the scenic route."
"Kirsten Dunst? Really? That's the best they could come up with?"
"Better this-- then Peter discovering the secret love children I had with J. Jonah Jameson."
"One day-- you will bow down before me Joe-Q. No matter that it takes an eternity, you will bow down. You-- and then one day-- your heirs!"
"Now I have a Machine Gun"
"You can't win, Meph. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine"
It's hard to make out, but I'm pretty sure she said, "Hey, wait a minute... my whole reason for agreeing to this deal is that I thought that Peter wouldn't be able to deal with the guilt and it would wreck our marriage. But if that were true, that it would wreck our marriage, then you wouldn't be offering us all of this stuff in order to undo the marriage, because it would be wrecked anyway. Anyway, I'm so embarrassed for Peter for not realizing that that I was wondering -- I have this dead ex-boyfriend, Harry, and since you're giving stuff away anyway..."
What, too long? Not pithy enough? Fine:
"Sure, he's great with power and responsibility, but he's always been shit with commitment."