On a dare from a website, four girls descended into the subways of New York City and performed risque strip numbers on the N train, gyrating on poles and dangling from overhead strap handles. They won the ten grand from the site, darejunkies.com.
And, as if they give a damn, they received a severe scolding from the MTA as a spokesman declared, "The last thing we want is for anyone to turn our subways into roving burlesque stages for crude exhibitionists."
Really. Is that a fact? "The last thing we want?"
As an occasional subway rider, when I'm thinking about "the last thing we want" on the subways, I'm thinking...oh, I dunno...a fare hike.
Or more trains breaking down.
Or money being cut so that there are fewer transit cops.
Or graffiti all over the place.
Or terrorists detonating bombs.
Or fewer trains being run so that the trains that are running are horrifically overcrowded.
Or people bumming money off me.
Or people vomiting or urinating in the corner or staggering around drunk and falling on me.
On my personal list, gorgeous strippers performing on the subway is so far and away from "the last thing" that it's not even funny. Perhaps the MTA should get its priorities in order.
PAD
Posted by Peter David at December 10, 2007 06:14 PM | TrackBack | Other blogs commentingIn fact, I imagine that some people would put that near the top of a list of things they *do* want to happen to the subways.
So if you were on the train with your daughter, PAD, you'd think it was perfectly OK if a bunch of guys started stripping off their clothes, gyrating and making suggestive thrusting gestures in her direction?
Lingster - Read what PAD wrtote - He didn't say it was OK, he said it wasn't "the last thing we want"
Lingster, he's not saying he's advocating it. He's just saying that bombings, getting puked on, and plenty of other things are worse.
Hunh. And to think all this time I've hated taking the subways there.
As someone who has been on a subway when someone was vomiting, (Projectile vomiting no less), was almost sat on by a deranged person, have seen a rat bigger then my cat roam freely though the cars and had a pickpoket attempt to walk away with my wallet, I would say strippers would be an improvement. But that's just me.
Look, the point is that there's strong evidence backing the "broken window theory", so if thrill-seekers begin commonly engaging in sexually explicit behavior in the subways, that may lead to much worse things. Also, I don't understand why PAD would pick a fight on his blog on this issue. As someone who rode the subways for years, I for one certainly preferred riding them AFTER the Giuliani crowd began enforcing quality of life statutes.
The MTA doesn't want people behaving in sexually explicit manner while riding the subway. What's PAD's complaint?
I'm not "picking a fight." I'm pointing out that, when one considers "the last thing we want," there's a lot worse things to deal with on the subway than pole dancers.
PAD
As I used to work in the city, I have to agree there are more pressing issues.
However, that being said, dares like this should be strongly discouraged. While I know beautiful, unclad girls would be an added attraction to many, it also creates a hazard. What if one of the girls had been attacked by one of our more "charming" passengers - someone who was deranged or a criminal. Or worse, heaven forbid, not having been able to get to one of these girls, the would-be attacker went for someone else? Not such a harmless prank anymore.
I am thinking that if one were claustrophobic, one would quite enjoy the distraction of nekkid women dancing in the subway car.
Lingster...I think you're too tense.
There's not really anything to disagree about.
I think everyone here believes that people swinging around and hanging upside down in the subways is not a good thing.
I think everyone here believes that there are worse things. Bombs, rats, and vomiting being some of them.
Do we really have to argue PAD's phrasing this a certain way in a statement that was clearly meant to be humorous? The most pointless argument in the world is the one where everyone agrees on the issues, they're just fighting over the exact wording.
PAD wrote:
I'm pointing out that, when one considers "the last thing we want," there's a lot worse things to deal with on the subway than pole dancers.
It's a figure of speech. It doesn't actually mean "the worst thing I can imagine happening that I would never, ever want to see transpire."
If the term wasn't a commonplace expression of hyperbole, people could never use the term except to describe things on the scale of, for example: the agonizing, slow death of all life on Earth from radiation poisoning as the result of a nearby star exploding. For me, stellar sterilization of the Earth is actually the last thing I want in a very non-hyperbolic sense, yet I have used the term in the context of the rinovirus, fear of unintentionally impregnating a woman, and a favorite television program having its broadcast schedule changed to Friday night.
Yeah, it's just a figure of speech. Get over it, PAD.
Lingster:
1) While the pole dancing was erotic, it was in no way sexually explicit.
2) If anyone is looking to pick a fight, it is yourself. You're the one implying (inferring?) that PAD said this was OK, when he said nothing of the sort.
3) Yes, it's a figure of speech, but the spokesman could have just as easily said something to the effect of "we don't allow/encourage, etc this sort of behavior on the subway". "The last thing we want" was the spokesman's choice of words, and PAD questioned it.
-------
And I thought I had fun riding the Nostalga train yesterday.
Yeah, it's completely incredible that an author who (dare I say) specializes in humor such as puns, might decide to use a (gasp)hyperbole(gasp) to get a laugh. Horrors! It's a good thing we have people here to call him on it.
Wow. People on the internet really *will* argue over anything.
The last thing we want is someone responding to a humorous post by parsing the phrase "the last thing we want" until our eyes glaze over.
Oh. Too late. Rats.
Queen Anthai: "Wow. People on the internet really *will* argue over anything."
I disagree.
I'm still writing my list. Haven't gotten to the last thing I want yet. I'll let you all know.
Transdutch wrote:
Yeah, it's completely incredible that an author who (dare I say) specializes in humor such as puns, might decide to use a (gasp)hyperbole(gasp) to get a laugh.
So your interpretation of this post is that it's a gag? And for what it's worth, PAD isn't USING hyperbole, he's failing (or refusing) to recognize it when it's being used by someone else.
Lingster: Look, the point is that there's strong evidence backing the "broken window theory", so if thrill-seekers begin commonly engaging in sexually explicit behavior in the subways, that may lead to much worse things.
Luigi Novi: And can you furnish us with it?
Lingster: Also, I don't understand why PAD would pick a fight on his blog on this issue.
Luigi Novi: How precisely does expressing a thought on one's own blog in a newly written blog entry constitute "picking a fight".
Lingster: The MTA doesn't want people behaving in sexually explicit manner while riding the subway. What's PAD's complaint?
Luigi Novi: Who said he had one? An MTA official made a statement, and Peter made a blog entry to state that he disagreed with him.
Lingster: It's a figure of speech. It doesn't actually mean "the worst thing I can imagine happening that I would never, ever want to see transpire."
Luigi Novi: Good point. But Peter is a writer, and is known for often mingling humor and hyperbole with real-world issues, sometimes when expressing his own opinion on them, and at other times throwing ideas out there that may not necessarily reflect his beliefs, a point he raised in his BID column about two months ago. Maybe each person's interpretation or perception is different, but in reading Peter's blog entry, my immediate reaction was that he was being facetious to one degree or another, in order to make fun of subway life, and not that he was necessarily being completely serious and literal. That's just me though, and I could be wrong.
Peter?
In any event, Happy Holidays, Lingster. :-)
Ack! It didn't occur to me to even look in the Name field to see that the site remembered the last name I used when making a joke post, and ended up using it again.
Okay, fixed.
Sheesh.
There is humor in deliberately taking things literally that are meant to be figurative. It's a type of wordplay. Lingster, I don't suppose you read any of the Amelia Bedelia books when you were younger?
On the other hand, we all know PAD never engages in wordplay...
The last thing I'd want to happen on the subway is me dying of spontaneous combustion. But that's a little personal, I suppose.
It may be a weird tangent, but with HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2 coming out tomorrow, I'm reminded of that controversy. That movie's star Vanessa Hudgens sent nude pictures to her boyfriend (or a friend), they wound up on the Internet, and she did a massive mea culpa, I'm so sorry, it was awful and irresponsible, etc. And I'm wondering: Why? She didn't do anything illegal, she didn't do anything immoral (except possibly dispel the notion that Disney men and women are asexual Barbie and Ken dolls), I'm sure her male fans are thrilled to have a naked picture of a favorite star, and if anyone's at fault it's whoever leaked the pictures. Yet the reaction has been almost universally negative, from her being called a bad role model to questioning whether she can continue in the HSM series.
This stripper thing feels similar. While I think PAD did use hyperbole, so did the MTA. Still, as long as one is scared of the effect of brazen sexuality on youyng children, one should also shield them from any billboards or advertisements, magazine covers, comic books, music playing nearby, adult video stores they may pass (still in NYC, no thanks to Giuliana), *regular* video stores...
my immediate reaction was that he was being facetious to one degree or another, in order to make fun of subway life, and not that he was necessarily being completely serious and literal. That's just me though, and I could be wrong.
I was actually going for sardonic, for what that's worth.
And just for the record, "Patty" has the same IP as Roberto Engles, Murphy, Left, Frontkick, and Peterpaul. Go figure.
PAD
PAD,
You just had to go and do it! You just had to go and stir them up again, next thing I know you’ll post something political and they’ll be another 150 to 200 comment thread. (LOL)
Bill Myers, man if you didn’t nail it! :)
For what it’s worth, I know you’ve (PAD) been around NYC long enough to remember when there was a lot more puking, graffiti, filth, crime on the subways. All things considered, they work fairly well for a system that size and a lot better than I’ve seen them at times.
Besides, didn’t they do this on the N? It runs through Times Square so it seems totally appropriate to me even if Times Square has become more of a Disney theme park these days.
"And just for the record, 'Patty' has the same IP as Roberto Engles, Murphy, Left, Frontkick, and Peterpaul."
And it is now time to reveal that I, "Bill Myers," am in fact...
[REMOVES MASK]
BOB VON DOOM!
Yes, that's right, it is I, Victor Von Doom's younger, less successful, and far less famous brother. I am the Roger Clinton to his Bill Clinton. Until today, that is. By fooling you all into thinking I was actually Bill Myers, I've... well, uhm, I've...
Well, heck, I'm not sure what I've accomplished. As soon as I figure it out, I will be back to gloat.
So your interpretation of this post is that it's a gag?
Fairly much.
But my IQ's over room temperature, so YMMV.
"The last thing we want is for anyone to turn our subways into roving burlesque stages for crude exhibitionists."
And they got it! I guess that means now that all their wishes have been fulfilled?
Oh yes, and I do have a day job...and I'm not giving it up for my art.
I think somebody is a glass half empty kind of person.
I just can't decide if it is PAD, or the MTA spokesman...
Please add "Trains not stopping for more than 5 minutes in-between stops especially when you're already running late" to the list.
I remember being trapped on an N train about 20 years ago, as the track turned just before Queensboro Plaza, because a passenger had died on the train in the station ahead of us. For about 30 minutes, we wondered what was going on and when we would ever get moving. Considering many of us were holding on to poles anyway on that crowded, slightly inclined train, causing back strain from a battle against gravity, I think we would have welcomed a quartet of young poledancers to help pass the time.
You guys should all have been on the 4-5-6 line tonight, as I had the luxury to witness 1 woman screaming at another on the subway, because her child was laying down on the subway (very very crowded, shoulder to shoulder standing room) and this other woman asked him to move, so she could sit. The mother was pissed because she asked the kid, not her, if she could sit. The mother, meanwhile, was actually not sitting anywhere near the child in the first place.
Before you know it, her degenerate husband is also screaming...They left the train at the Brooklyn Bridge station, and were actually punching the subway windows and screaming.
Not an MTA employee or police officer in sight.
Then, to punctuate it, my MTA Express bus to Staten Island which runs every 10 minutes didnt show up for 35 minutes. Which has now happened the last three times I've used it. When the bus finally did show up, 4 of the exact bus showed up back to back to back to back.
So yeah, pole dancing strippers should be the last thing they speak out about. They should have bigger concerns.
Maybe they mean "It's the last thing we want if we are not there to see it..."
I know for a fact that the tube in London would be "illuminated" somewhat if there were a couple of underground naughties doing the seven veils :)
Even funnier if you got off at Cockfosters :P
I assume the people arguing with PAD over this are also ones who don't find George Carlin remotely funny.
"It's always in the last place you look? Well, of course it is -- what kind of idiot keeps looking after they've found something?"
Lingster, might I suggest decaf?
TWL
I assume the people arguing with PAD over this are also ones who don't find George Carlin remotely funny.
::shrugs:: I didn't think I was arguing. Just pointing out how dares like that could lead to a big problem.
By the by, I happen to love George Carlin's work - particularly the bit about the glass being too big instead of half full or empty.
Christine said:
However, that being said, dares like this should be strongly discouraged. While I know beautiful, unclad girls would be an added attraction to many, it also creates a hazard. What if one of the girls had been attacked by one of our more "charming" passengers - someone who was deranged or a criminal. Or worse, heaven forbid, not having been able to get to one of these girls, the would-be attacker went for someone else? Not such a harmless prank anymore.
How long after the writer's strike ends do you think it will take for this very concept you described to become an episode of Law and Order: SVU?
How long after the writer's strike ends do you think it will take for this very concept you described to become an episode of Law and Order: SVU?
Two months, tops.
Didn't they just show (or promote) an episode based on those unfortunate teenagers who were executed near a school earlier this year?
Why can't this be "the last thing they want"? It's much better than being on the list of things they don't want, where you'd expect to find explosions and vomiting and price hikes.
The last thing you want is the finishing touch, not the stuff you don't want ever.
I think "the last thing we want" is the equivalent of "the first thing we don't want."
By the way, it was just announced that the powers that be have gone back on their earlier pledge to save the current fare and prices will, in fact, be going up. Thank heavens, though, that there are matters of far more serious consequence to MTA spokesmen--like girls gyrating on poles--than adding to the financial burden of subway riders.
PAD
>if one were claustrophobic, one would quite enjoy the distraction of nekkid women dancing in the subway car ...
I should think so. I'm not claustrophobic (literally a little the contrary) but the subjectively shortest journey I ever took was a three-and-a-half hour trip (standing all the way) from Hiroshima to Osaka one of of the high-speed trains ... in a car packed standing room only with what seemed to be a bodycon model convention. All I remember of it - other than the rather pulchritudinous fellow passengers I was wedged in between - was my thought of "What? There already?" upon arrival.
Having known several dancers meself, I just hope they cleaned the poles first.
"BOB VON DOOM!"
I suddenly have two images in my head. Whack-a-Doom and someone asking after their sister, Weave. Now weave bye bye!
(You know, because the Doom heads would be bobbing....
Most people here need to lighten up. PAD, thanks for the morning laugh.
Poledancers in the NY subway???
You just HAD to out do Chicago once again, didn't you??
That's it, now I need to find the lapdances.
Oh yes, and I do have a day job...and I'm not giving it up for my art.
Damn, sir...the "Godfather of Asian American theatre"...here I keep thinking we're all a bunch of slackers. But I guess that's just me.
One more thing to check out next time I'm in Seattle (one of the loveliest cities I've ever been too, btw).
Okay, so the statement was without a shadow of a doubt hyperbole, but can't each and every one of us agree with no question whatsoever that hyperbole is absolutely the most fantastic thing in the entire history of the universe forever and ever and ever?
I've never ridden the subway in NY. But I've ridden other undergrounds/subways/metros---Bangkok, Seoul, Busan, Osaka, Tokyo, London to name a few off the top of my head---and I think that I can speak for the United International Guild of Subway Riders when I say that a bunch of attractive (hell, unattractive) poll dancing females (hell, males) is far from the last thing that we could ever want to experience.
"For me, stellar sterilization of the Earth is actually the last thing I want in a very non-hyperbolic sense, yet I have used the term in the context of the rinovirus, fear of unintentionally impregnating a woman, and a favorite television program having its broadcast schedule changed to Friday night."
Mike, is that you?
Peter David: By the way, it was just announced that the powers that be have gone back on their earlier pledge to save the current fare and prices will, in fact, be going up.
Luigi Novi: Fuck.
FuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuckFuck!
PAD wrote: By the way, it was just announced that the powers that be have gone back on their earlier pledge to save the current fare and prices will, in fact, be going up.
It's not a fare increase, it is an incentive to exercise!
Yeah.... Yeah... That's the ticket!
Sounds like a Monty Python sketch; the last thing we want... except...
Bill Mulligan: Luigi Novi is stealing your lines! :)
Craig J. Reis wrote:
Mike, is that you?
No.
tardisrider wrote:
Okay, so the statement was without a shadow of a doubt hyperbole, but can't each and every one of us agree with no question whatsoever that hyperbole is absolutely the most fantastic thing in the entire history of the universe forever and ever and ever?
It's better than that.
Jess Willey wrote:
How long after the writer's strike ends do you think it will take for this very concept you described to become an episode of Law and Order: SVU?
Have you noticed that as a result of the long downward trend in murder rates nationwide, many crime dramas each season "kill" a good chunk of the total number of victims actually murdered in those cities? For example, Las Vegas has averaged around 120 murders a year for the last five years - but CSI kills about 40 or 50 a year on its show, alone.
Craig J. Reis wrote:
Wow, apparently my name is just impossible to type, as well as to copy & paste, that people mistype it so often.
4 letters, folks. It ain't that freakin' tough.
But then, it took only a handful of posts before you, Lingster, completely derailed this thread simply because you read something in PAD's post that wasn't there, so maybe I'm expecting too much from some of you.
Peter, add this to the list your list of things we don't want...
http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?&aid=76441&search_result=1&stid=1
The good news is, they were arrested and taken into custody. Another festivus chanukah miracle!
Peter, add this to the list your list of things we don't want...
http://www.ny1.com/ny1/content/index.jsp?&aid=76441&search_result=1&stid=1
The good news is, they were arrested and taken into custody. Another festivus, er, chanukah miracle!
One thing that can't be denied...
PAD sure knows the surefire ways to stir up the hornet's nest....
And "NO" Lingster, you're not a hornet... just in case you think I'm using a figure of speech and hung up on hyperbole...
Bob A
Bob Von Doom: "And it is now time to reveal that I, "Bill Myers," am in fact...
[REMOVES MASK]
BOB VON DOOM!
Well, heck, I'm not sure what I've accomplished. As soon as I figure it out, I will be back to gloat.
Well, that underwear line of yours is pretty good. Just wish you would fix the ride up problem with the boxer-briefs.
fear of unintentionally impregnating a woman,
Mike, is that you?
Obviously, not.
Bill Mulligan: Luigi Novi is stealing your lines! :)
He forgot to add a couple of fuckities.
All Bob Von Doom jokes aside, though it's a good joke, have their been any actual stories in the Marvel/DC universe where the criminal has a normal, slightly dim brother who just gets in the way? I'm not talking Black Bolt/Maximus, more like Jimmy/Billy Carter.
Christine said:
Two months, tops.
Didn't they just show (or promote) an episode based on those unfortunate teenagers who were executed near a school earlier this year?
I thought that was Law and Order: CI doing that one. But yeah-- they are so desperate for ripped from the headlines cases now sometimes they go back to the 1920s and just tweak details.
Obviously, not.
The jerk-store called. They're running out of you.
The jerk-store called. They're running out of you.
What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller.
(for the uninitiated, it's from a Seinfeld episode. THE COMBACK, where George is pigging out on shrimp and a co-worker says “George, the ocean called. They’re running out of shrimp.” George spends the entire episode obsessing over it and trying to set up an opportunity to retort with his "great" comeback The jerk-store called. They're running out of you.
Mike: our George Costanza!
But seriously, if you are afraid of unintentionally impregnating a woman there are things you can do to minimize the possibility. fda.gov/fdac/features/1997/babytabl.html offers a guide, also available in a handy chart format!
I saw nothing funny about Peter David's post.
Signed,
The Grinch.
And what the heal does YMMV mean? It was bad enough when you people made fun of me behind my back, but now you are using code words to make fun of me to my face.
Signed,
The Grinch.
George Carlin ISN'T remotely funny.
Signed,
The Grinch.
Poledancers in the NY subway??? Those European women shouldn't be dancing.
Signed,
The Grinch.
"4 letters, folks. It ain't that freakin' tough."
Oksy..........
Crag.
:)
Can't even type 'okay'.
Now that you've gone and insulted Okay, too... ;)
I take the N train almost every day. The only good thing ever to come of it, and I missed the whole thing.
The amount of (PROVEN!) corruption in the MTA in and of itself should somehow bar these people from raising fares. Or make them hire someone who knows how to spend better. Damn.
The last think we want is Porn to be sold at Wal-Mart. Comes in three flavors Equate Milfs,
Great Value Whores, and Old Roy BBQ sauce.
Hot damn, strippers on public transport could be the key to saving the world!!
No, really, think about it:
Polution from transportation kills mother earth
Public transport lessens polution
However, people still use personal transport
Therefore, more strippers on public transport = more people using public transport and less polution and a cleaner earth!
By God, strippers! That's the answer to everything!!!
Hyperbole is best used when combined with sarcasm. Or is that saccarine? I sometimes get those confused.
I think calling a burlesque/striptease sexually explicit goes a bit far, unless it included simulated sex. Titilating, maybe, but let's be specific here. As for it being the last thing wanted on a subway, well, that's why it's funny, right? Because while pretty much everyone can agree that hearing a "beep beep beep" coming from under the seat next to you is pretty much the last thing we want to encounter on a subway, seeing a bevy of burlesque dancers do their stuff is, evedently, pretty high up on some people's list of things they'd like to see added to their public transit.
Maybe the fare hike will go to providing such forms of entertainment?
Wow. The best part was the expressions on the girl at 00:30 and the guy at 2:55.
And I'm with the commentators who hoped they used wet wipes on that pole before they used it.