PeterDavid.net

If you don't mind my asking, Mr. David, why did they make fun of your name? Is it because your last name can also be used as a first name? If there is an obvious joke, it eludes me ...

It's high school. It doesn't have to be funny or make sense. Yelling "Peeeeter Daayyyyyvid" in a nasal fashion is considered the height of hilarity.

PAD

I'm kinda suprised this would be the first entry, but then again I'm no sports fan.

Richard Gere would have been my first entry. What exactly is a 'Dick Gear' and what is it's primary function?

There's an architect in my area who goes by the name of Dick Handler (or at least he did -- I'm not certain if he's still alive). Why he chose not to go by "Richard" or "Rich" is beyond me.

A friend of mine tells of a classmate named Garth Rader. Up until August of 1977, a perfectly harmless name. After that....

My Eighth Grade science teacher still winds this one hands down..

First, the name:

Dick Koch. No, not Richard, his parents named him Dick. Last name is pronounced the same as a slang term for the male organ.

Second, he chose to be a TEACHER.

Runner up: Former CEO of one of my employers, Richard (Dick) Wood.

My friend Daniel had to wear the "Donkey" nickname throughout primary school and most of secondary school. Why? Because his name starts with the letter D. Seriously, that's all they needed.

I met a bank teller named Sandy Shore. Sandy C. Shore, to be precise.

She had a little beach diorama at her desk.

And here in New Hampshire, we were represented in Congress for several years by Dick Swett.

Honest.

Look it up.

J.

I feel your pain, PAD, as "David Simon" seemed oddly amusing at my High School.

In the Australian Federal Government, the Federal Treasurer is "Peter Costello", and the minister for health is "Tony Abbott". Whenever they make a joint announcement, or hold a press conference together, the newspapers have a field-day with their headlines.

I had a substitute teacher in high school with a name that no one could understand why their parents did this to them.

Richard Stroker.

And yes, he preferred to be called Dick.

Perhaps the worst/best name I've ever encountered was a guest I checked into the hotel I was working at many years ago: Rocky Glasscock. It was embossed on his credit card, that's how he signed the registration. We were trained to address people by name but I could only bring myself to call him 'sir'. He must've gone through hell in school.

My first name's Vincent. I remember some kids getting a kick out of calling me Vinny the Pooh. Though I imagine they left the h off the end.

Well, my own last name fits into this topic, but I'll keep it to myself, as I don't want to be a future winner in this category. Suffice it to say that my oldest brother changed his last name to "Bonner". Now that I'm long out of high school, that's how most people "assume" I pronounce mine, until I correct them.

But I've run into some sympathetic people with odd names of their own. The service manager of the local marina introduced himself as "Race". I commented,"Like Race Bannon, from Jonny Quest?".
Yes, it turns out, except that his family name is Harder, so his parents decided he should go through life as "Race Harder".

Has anyone here read Tim Allen's first book? I think it has the phrase "Naked Man" in the title.
In the intro he talks about how "Allen" is his stage name, and that in real life, well, he's a Dick. Tim Dick, I would guess.

And back in the glory days of Comedy Central's Man Show, Kimmel and Carolla brought together a panel of 4 or 5 guests with "classic" name honors.
Andy Dick was the Guest of Honor, with appearances by Dick Hertz and Mike Hunt, IIRC. The actual panel was followed by a scrolling list of people that had been contacted, but turned down the opportunity to appear on camera.

I had a great-uncle named Dick Payne. I kid you not.

I knew the name of every corn product manufactured in the US before 5th grade. Add in the fact that my first name rhymes with the colloquialism for homosexual...man, did elementary school suck.

At the risk of seeming humorless (Me...? Really?) I'm surprised that abuse based on one's name was a serious issue in PAD's high school days. Where I grew up, that sort of thing was over by junior high, and abuse at the high school level was generally based on appearance, strength, agility and intelligence. As PAD wasn't explicit in describing his own experience, I couldn't guess what it was, or what was the primary cause of any hypothetical pantsings. In my own experience, a lot of abuse ostensibly based on words or appearance is much more recognition of weakness or expression of ethnic hatreds.

No joke, i went to school with two of the worst named kids :
Ben Dover
Anita Little

But what takes the cake was in the mid 80's a man ran for city council with the name : O.G. Morehead, i was only eight at the time but laughed my ass off years later when i realized why my mother kept snickering when she saw a campaign sign

Not so much a painful name, but our mayor here in
Austin has an appropriate one - Mayor Will Wynn. Needless to say, he did.

I remember kids trying to make fun of my name in elementary school. The only thing they ever came up with was calling me "Jason mason." I could never figure out why that was supposed to bother me. It's just my name with another word that rhymes. Jason just wasn't a bad name to have.

The odd thing is that my Dad is also named Jason, and he says that was a *horrible* name to have when he was a kid. I've never figured out why.

Charlie Brown, Farmer Brown, Brown the Clown (and I was a serious kid in school) all from the surname that a government official messed up when my family came to America through Ellis Island. Amazing what a German accent can do with the name Braun.

In the intro he talks about how "Allen" is his stage name, and that in real life, well, he's a Dick. Tim Dick, I would guess.

His birth name is in fact Tim Allen Dick.

Being in data entry, I run across strange names from time to time. I once saw a death certificate for a woman named Golden Rule - Rule being her married name.

No joke, there is a doctor at the local VA hospital with the name of Dick Balz. So lovely when they page him...

Over 20 years ago, I attended art school with a guy whose last name was "McDonald." Take a wild guess as to what his first name was.

Now, in defense of his parents, he was named in the mid-sixties, before commercials featuring that character went national. I'm sure that he received several kinds of flak for having that name while a child in the '70s. Never knew what his middle name is, nor why he chose not to go by that, instead.

Haven't seen him since art school. Let's hope he doesn't own a farm these days. If so, let's hope he sells it before he gets too old.

Oh, and I also encountered a dermatologist once whose last name was Pepper. i suppose having that as a last name means you have only two career options: doctor or sergeant.

A girl in my school is Nicole Dicks. Whenever they say her name over the announcements, the announcer stumbles and everybody laughs. She's now known as Nicole Dicks(in her pants).

My favorite encounter with an odd name occurred at a recent job, when I told a new customer that her information packet would be filed by her (hyphenated) last name. I forget exactly what led to it, but she noted, "You should remember me from now on. How many Green-Johnsons have you seen?"

It took every ounce of willpower I had to answer that question without making a rude comment. Somehow, I don't think she realized the joke potential of her name.

My art school roommate's last name was (and still is) Keller. He had a crush on a girl living on our floor. His poor little heart was broken when she burst into our room one day and declared to him, "I can't marry you! Then my name would be Helen Keller!"

At least SOME folks know how to nip things in the bud.

Probably the all-time world champion for strange names was Ann Bertha Cecelia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate Louisa Maud Nora Ophelia Quince Rebecca Starkey Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenephon Yetty Zeus Pepper her nickname was Alphabet Pepper.

There was also the 19th century Michigan Governor, Allpheus Felch, who was born in Limerick Maine. There's a poem in there somewhere.

"Dick Rash." I kid you not. He had the meanest parents, no?

In high school our Principal's name was Deichoff. There was a joke around school which no one could prove one way or another that he had a daughter named Tara.

In high school our Principal's name was Deichoff. There was a joke around school which no one could prove one way or another that he had a daughter named Tara.

My whole life I have been surrounded by strange names. Here's just two:

I had a very well known golf instructor named Dick Tiddy.

I had a High School friend named Cash Coyne.

But my favorite true story came from a friend who went to sell insurance to a family named Baiter. When he arrived, Henry Baiter introduced his beautiful wife Susan. Henry was about to introduce his son, when my friend (unable to hold it in any longer) interrupted, "Let me guess. This must be Master Baiter!"

Amazingly, he got the sale.

What I wanna know is, anybody famous or just ordinary with the name Richard Head?

Now THAT'S a name worth changing.

Ladies and gentelmen, from NASSCAR I give you DICK TRICKEL!!!!
I swear I could not make that up!

Okay....

Dick Mountjoy.

Old-school right-wing crank - Prop 187, anyone? Served 17 years in the California State Assembly, and seven in the State Senate (not my districts, thank God, but close by). Ran for the Senate last year against Feinstein, so we got to see "Dick Mountjoy" signs dotting some of the major roadways in our area.

Bio is here:

Oops, I mean here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Mountjoy

What I wanna know is, anybody famous or just ordinary with the name Richard Head?

Now THAT'S a name worth changing.

Yep. There's a guy that lives down the block from me with that name. He's about sixty or so now.

There were also two girls here names Pepsi and Shasta.

I went to school with a kid names Jim Shorts and one named Joe Kerr.

In college I knew a girl named Shandra Lear.

Whilst my first name is pretty sane, my surname is Ducker.

I grew up on a rough UK Council Estate

There's only so many things it rhymes with.

Oooooh boy did I have fun at school, being the shy, small and very intelligent type as well.

I have a good friend named Holly Wood. It is a decent name in my opinion, but apparently, in high school, most of her classmates thought of it more as "Holly Would."

I also had a friend in elementary school named Justin Thyme.

I'm a closet reader of PeterDavid.com and rarely post here, but thought I could add to this thread. I worked in Emergency Rooms for over 20 years and the names we saw were just unimaginable at time. The most memorable was a guy named Harry Beever. As in most hospitals we list the last name first, so none of us even caught it until the nurse came to call him from the waiting room. The whole ER full of adults completely lost it.

The other from the hospital was a woman who just recently passed away. Her name was Bunny Hoppe.

I have had other instances in my life. A girl I went to school with named Kandy married the young man who lived across the street from me with the last name of Barr. Kandy Barr. I begged her not to marry him. LOL

Another from my childhood, a friend of my parents in the late 1970s with the last name of Hartz gave birth to a girl they named Kandy. Kandy Hartz. I can remember my Mom saying that it sounded like a stripper.

And last but not least, my own family had a warped sense of humor. My family name is Moss. My Mom wanted to name me Sunny, but my Dad wouldn't stand for it. I instead got the other most popular name of 1964 - Tammie. Then when my Mom was expecting her youngest they were hoping it would be a boy as they already had two girls. They picked to name the boy after my father and grandfather and call him my grandfather's nickname. Woody. Woody Moss. My sister and I begged them not to. Luckily the baby was a girl.

Tammie

Y'know, I can't believe I forgot how my own name has been the butt of lame jokes. I mean, if I had a dime for everyone who sang "I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener" to me... well, I still wouldn't have enough money to come up with a cure for whatever chemical imbalance in the brain is responsible for making people think that they're funny when they're not.

Oh, yeah, also, I'm just a Bill on Capitol Hill. In case you're wondering.

Oh, and I canNOT get enough of hearing people cry out, "Oh, no, Mister Bill!" I've never heard THAT before and it gets funnier every time.

My favorite? Some retard in grade school used to taunt me by chanting, "Myers, Myers, pulls down his pants and there are his pliers." I was six years old and this guy was, like, eight. Even at that tender age I had to wonder why he wasn't on the bus with all the "special" kids.

Oh, for the politically correct among us... no, the "retard" I referred to was not in any way truly mentally retarded. Ironically, if he had any sort of developmental disability I'd never have called him a "retard."

I've worked with the developmentally disabled in the past and have found that the overwhelming majority of them do better at maximizing the capabilities they possess than the "pliers" kid did... and he had no developmental disabilities to overcome. Go figure.

One of the staff at our local bank was named Candy Cain (not Candace, she assured me ... but Candy). I worked with a woman named Marianne who married (what were his parents thinking?) a man named Robin Hood. They had to get an unlisted number.

Regards, The Rev.

Just realized this was a high school question. In one class, we had a Dave Friendly, Joe Darling and Jim Love. They didn't hang around together and nobody else seemed to find this confluence unusual.

My last name is Black, me ex-wife's is Mack and one day, we were standing around in an art gallery speaking to an artist named Stephan Lack. When I pointed out that oddity, he immediately dubbed us Mack Lack Black and insisted on telling everyone we met about it. Someday, I'll learn to keep my mouth shut ... probably about a month or so after my death.

Regards, The Rev.

I can remember my Mom saying that it sounded like a stripper.

That sounds like the next one of these threads PAD should have: people with porn names. :)

I'm not sure this counts but..in the school i teach in there is a large hispaniac population ...well several years ago there was just an many students with the last name of Cruz...well you know that those of us in the boston area sometimes have our own way of pronuncing words,and Anita is one of those... well any time this student was called to the office over the intercom, it always came out "Ineeda Cruz " there was not one teacher in the building that couldn't help adding "any cruz would do

I once knew a woman named "Linday" who was engaged to man with the last name "Doyle". Neither one of them made the "linseed oil" conection until I pointed it out.

Once more I'll tell the story of a friend who once manned the intercom at a local business and always dreaded having to page one "Harry Members."

The first time, he amended it to "Harold" in the page to spare both himself and Mr. Members embarrassment -- only to have an incensed Mr. Members loudly declaim, "Do NOT call me Harold! I'm Harry! HARRY MEMBERS!!!"

Sheesh. I'm also easily amused at any doctor named Paine or Payne, especially a dentist.

I just thought of another one... and she was sitting next to me when I typed my first post.

My Mother-In-Law's first and middle name, separately, no big deal. First is Mary. Middle is Annette. Nothing unusual, until you say them out loud, together. Mary Annette.

My best friend just died when he finally put it together.

My father reports that there are two chiropractors in his town named Dr. Pull and Dr. Bend.

The day I left high school (last day of 10th grade), I dropped the nickname "Barney" everywhere outside my immediate family and a few very close friends who've known me since childhood. I had quite enough of Rubble, Miller, Fife, etc. for 10 years. (Thank God neither The Simpsons nor that accursed purple dinosaur were around yet.)

But the most staggering bad taste I've seen has been directed at one of my best friends. His last name is McVey. No relation - it's not even spelled the same, fer chrissakes - but otherwise rational adults seem to think jokes about bombings are amusing...and are somehow surprised when they get a response as sharp and cold as a refrigerated Gem blade.

My Father's first name is Harry and my Uncle's first name was Dick. They were named after their father, First Name Harry, Middle Name Richard.
My father was known as Little Harry.
Somehow he survived.

My actual last name is Teall. So when I was in elementary school back in '82 and I wanted to call my mom at my house, even the secretaries would burst out laughing that "ET wants to phone home!"

I have a member of my extended family named Dick Beaver. Luckily for him, he's British, and I'm told his last name only recently picked up any sexual connotations over there, so he was spared high school torment over that one.

Delurking briefly to submit a name my mom offered up once as the most unfortunate name ever. As a teen, she worked at a Tulsa hospital in a post similar to "Candy Striper" (do they still have those? Oh, well...). During a party several years ago, she told a group of us that it was all anyone could do to keep a straight face when a certain physician was paged over the loudspeaker:

"Paging Dr. Dangler! Dr. Harry Dangler!"

Still makes me wonder what the hell his parents were thinking...

***relurking***

Saw this at work:

Crystal Chandelier

Back in junior high, there was a girl named Anita Head in my class...

I suffered enough back in my elementary school days on account of my middle name, Elgin. As an adult, its a cool name... however, in the third grade, I had the misfortune of attending a school where all the urinals were made by a company called - you guessed it. Coupled with my first name.... well, third graders can be a *really* nasty bunch...

My first name is a completely "normal" name in Germany but when I introduce myself in Britain where I live the reaction is usually "pardon"? Most people can`t pronounce it and quite a few also can`t spell it. I still get junk mail from one company addressed to "Bearable Haddrell".

I always sign with my real name and one reaction I got was "What kind of name is that!?"

A guy in my hometown was named Robin Hood. He had a pretty good sense of humor about it.

My brother has met three people named Benjamin Franklin (well, three last I checked). The third one was the state bedding inspector, and he did *not* have a sense of humor about his name.

Posted by: John Hudgens at July 9, 2007 12:47 AM
I suffered enough back in my elementary school days on account of my middle name, Elgin. As an adult, its a cool name...

Uh, no. No, it's not. ;-)

One of the first people I met after immigrating to the US was Wally Pratt, which doesn't seem to be all that unfortunate by American standards, but will give any Brit a good chuckle as they're both slang for idiot, fool, etc. back home.

Another US name that I find rather unfortunate coming from the UK is Randy, as I've had to stifle my laughter a few times when they enthusiastically introduces themselves with "HI! I'M ...".

Shines a whole new light on comics' own Randy Queen, too. :D

According to his bio, Hunter Pence was a three-sport athlete at his Texas high school, and one of those sports was football.

Texas. High school. Football.

The only people who were probably even *allowed* to make fun of him were probably other football players. I'm pretty sure is high school experience was relatively free of name-based hazing. ;)

Wildcat

>My favorite encounter with an odd name occurred at a recent job, when I told a new customer that her information packet would be filed by her (hyphenated) last name.

Almost amusing, unless you know someone stuck with such a double-barrelled name who had to post their name twice in the phpone book beause people didn't know which initial to look under, or who had collection agencies sicced on them beccause some idiot clerk was looking for payment also under the wrong initial.

Debbon Ayer is pretty bad to begin with, but then she married Rob Morrow and they named their child Tu Morrow.

Suddenly, years of being related to green onions and then later, the kitchen help doesn't seem so bad. And another for the irony column, as opposed to the steely or bronzy, I'm a fairly good cook.

Wait a minute. Yeah, it does. Fortunately, X-Files didn't premiere until I was already in college for a year, so my mom's years of trying to get "Scully" to stick on me, (gym shirts, backpacks, etc.) didn't cause me any more pain.

There's a guy in my department who's name is Wang Moran.

Ah, high school. The glory days of my persecuted classmate, Mary Christmas. The threats from Coach Imhoff that, yes, his father's name *was* Jack, and he's not interested in your inane questions.

I'm still wondering whatever became of Crystal Lear, middle name Shanda.

arcee
What I wanna know is, anybody famous or just ordinary with the name Richard Head?

Now THAT'S a name worth changing.

I actually new a person named Paul Head whose father was Richard and went by Dick. Additionally Paul married a woman named Gay and she did change her last name to Head.

My favorites from high school:
1. Harry Stubbo (seeing that name in the phone book always cracked me up.)
2. Mary Christmas (Some how her parents felt that was appropriate.)

Should also mention that when I sold insurance for a while I had a sales meeting with a customer, last name BATMAN. If I had that last name, I'd be tempted to give a son a "cool" name like Bruce Wayne Batman, or I.M.

I am reminded of a SNL skit from many years ago when Nicholas Cage was the host. He and his wife (played by Julia Sweeney) were sitting on the sofa in their apartment trying to come up with a name for their expected child. Julia was sporting quite the belly in the scene. Every name she came up with, Cage shot down with some kind of lame rhyme or taunt. He kept saying they had to come up with a tease-proof name. She was getting visibly frustrated and tried to sooth him by assuring him that their child would not suffer the same fate as him. He would not hear of it. Finally the doorbell rings and he answers the door. The mail man is standing there and says "I have a letter for Asswipe Johnson". Nicholas Cage looks at him angrily saying "It's Ahhs-wee-pay".

As Peter's sister, growing up with the first name of Ronni, I can assure you that there was no shortage of fun to be had with our names. At the beginning of every school year, he was David Peters, our brother was David Walters, and I was David Ronni. At least they got to stay the same gender....

Oh, yeah, also, I'm just a Bill on Capitol Hill. In case you're wondering.

Oh, and I canNOT get enough of hearing people cry out, "Oh, no, Mister Bill!" I've never heard THAT before and it gets funnier every time.

We're about the same age--how about "Billy Don't Be A Hero" and, God help us all, "My Girl Bill". And this was during that Age of Radio where they would play a song 2 or 3 times an hour.

There was a kid in my school named Harry Dingle. Must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

Oh, yeah, also, I'm just a Bill on Capitol Hill. In case you're wondering.

Oh, and I canNOT get enough of hearing people cry out, "Oh, no, Mister Bill!" I've never heard THAT before and it gets funnier every time.

We're about the same age--how about "Billy Don't Be A Hero" and, God help us all, "My Girl Bill". And this was during that Age of Radio where they would play a song 2 or 3 times an hour.

There was a kid in my school named Harry Dingle. Must have seemed like a good idea at the time.

Beth wrote:

I am reminded of a SNL skit from many years ago when Nicholas Cage was the host. He and his wife (played by Julia Sweeney) were sitting on the sofa in their apartment trying to come up with a name for their expected child. Julia was sporting quite the belly in the scene. Every name she came up with, Cage shot down with some kind of lame rhyme or taunt. He kept saying they had to come up with a tease-proof name. She was getting visibly frustrated and tried to sooth him by assuring him that their child would not suffer the same fate as him. He would not hear of it. Finally the doorbell rings and he answers the door. The mail man is standing there and says "I have a letter for Asswipe Johnson". Nicholas Cage looks at him angrily saying "It's Ahhs-wee-pay".

I'm reminded of the Simpsons episode where Homer and Marge are trying to name Bart. "Art...Dart...Eart... no problems there..."

Hi!
I'm from Spain, but mi surname is from Germany. My aunt´s name is MERCEDES BENTZ. Yeah! And my school years were pretty fun also.
Keep the good work around here.
NaCho

Hi!
I'm from Spain, but my surname is from Germany. My aunt´s name is MERCEDES BENTZ. Yeah! And my school years were pretty fun also.
Keep the good work around here.
NaCho

My two personal favorite unfortunate names:

A gentleman used to come into my office when I was in the military. No one wanted to call him up when his turn came. His last name? Pussey.

Second place would be a certain female basketball player. Her name probably raised no eyebrows at all in her native Bosnia, but I hate to imagine the trouble Ivana Mandic had once she moved to the States.

On the flip side, my favorite great name went to a female officer who also used to come into my office. It was a great pleasure to call out "Captain Justice."

My own four favorites;

In college, I was introduced to a Wynn Dough, followed by my asking at what age he'd killed his parents.

I once noticed that the name of an MIT student was Constance Planck (this is a bit non-obvious, if you've not encountered Planck's Constant in physics class).

And the Ivy League basketball player of the year in the early part of this decade, a guard wearing number 23, was named Michael Jordan (who, if you did the math, was probably born either just before or at the start of the better known MJ's freshman year in college, so the name was unintentional in that respect).

In my own case, my name led to the worst joke I've ever managed. What you need to know to get it is that by brother-in-law is black. So when my sister called me a year or so after the wedding to announce "We're pregnant!", my response was "Great! I get to be the kid's Uncle Tom."

Her response was a minute or so of silence followed by "You've been waiting at least a year to say that, haven't you?"

When I went to elementary school in a village in the Rhineland, I had a schoolmate called Josef Goebbels. Actually perhaps not that surprising, as Goebbels is a not that uncommon family name in this part of Germany, and, this being a very Catholic region, Josef is a very popular boys' name. Still you have to wonder what went through his parents' minds when they went for that combination. Actually, what may have gone through his father's mind was the thought: "Hey, I'm called Josef, so why shouldn't my youngest son also be called that."

A couple that used to play with the local sports teams come to mind:

Detroit Tigers - Rusty Kuntz

Detroit Lions - Harry Colon

My father's name is Raymond. Thankfully, he was born several decades before Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise ever appeared on screen together.

A teacher once called me "Bill." Given that she looked a bit like Daphne Zuniga, I should have taken the opportunity to do a "Spaceballs" riff.

For a period in junior high, a group of kids started calling me "Herman." Your guess is as good as mine.

Rwmembered this during work, a friend of mine worked in a store where they got a new customer service manager.

The guy's name? Joe Servis.

>I'd be tempted to give a son a "cool" name like Bruce Wayne Batman, or I.M.

How about Thomas Harry Ellsworth Batman?

OK, where to start? First off, I also have had a teacher named Dick Koch, though in this case, Koch was pronounced "cook". Wonderful guy. And this was in grad school so he didn't have too many asinine jokes made at his expesnse by my class, anyway.

Let's see. Sexually ambivalent names are fun. My name is Lorin and my nickname growing up was Lonnie. Why, why, why, Mom and Dad?

Strangely, in elementary school, Loni Andreson wasn't as popular as "Loony" and many other names that had nothing to do with my actual name.

My wife and I went through two other names for our daughter, before we decided on one that was a bit less likely to get her teased for her name.

I knew and Admiral Richard Head. Not good to have the last name Head in the armed forces...

I once had a co-worker whose buddy was named:
Colon Hair

Daniel "Buckwheat" (for my Jew-fro) In Elem School my brothers and I were called the "Hair Bear Bunch", if you remember the cartoon.

I am in customer service and talk to hundreds of people with wacky names:
Lucy Fir
Phuc Yoo

But one of my favorites is Richard Peter Johnson, a guy I know who got saddled with the nickname "Triple Dick"

Well I was fine until the mid 80'5 then got hosed by James Cammerron for the rest of my life...lol

But I plan to pass the joy of an absurd name on to my first born male....

First Name Justin

Middle Name Other

Full Name Justin Other Conner

Hide the joke in the middle name folks that way it is up to them if they want to share

John Conner

I feel I must mention the girl who lived across the road from me when I was a child, who, when we were both 5 years old, solemnly announced when we grew up, we were going to get married: Bunny Carrot.

I moved away, but I moved back to a town about 40 miles north of there during my high school years. After high school, I found out that she had married the guy who had the locker next to me in high school. His name? Brewer.

And yes, I'm told they have several kids...

My name run together doesn't evoke anything in particular, but I still had to put up with:

"O'Shea can you seeeeee . . . " for my surname, and (in high school in the mid-1980s) having the song "Oh, Sheila" by one-hit-wonders Ready For The World sung to me constantly.

Not necessarily a funny or punny name, but I did want to shake a former co-worker and shout "What were you thinking?" when she named her son (that's right, son)...

Wait for it...

Rylee.

Bad enough it's a gender ambiguous name, but using a female pornstar spelling just makes you wonder how other people can hate their kids that much.

-Rex Hondo-

I actually hove two, both going back to high school. One was a lower-level math teacher by the name of Moore...Jack Moore. Lucky for the guy, most of the students actually liked him and didn't go for the obvious joke.

The other one was a classmate who pretty much had to go by his middle name. After all, what kind of sadist would name their kid Richard Tingle?

I've known both a Chapel Love and a Mercedes Gold in my academic career, but I think my favorite was a teacher named Rusty Crump (or, for the dyslexic among you...).

In grade school, there was a kid named Tom Smith. That seemed a tease-proof name; but because he was a bit heavier than the rest of us, some of the meaner kids took his initials to form the "nickname" "tub-sub."

I'd have to check the class photos to refresh my memory, but I suspect he would fall under the category of "stocky" rather than "fat." But grade schoolers seldom make such distinctions.

The first time I encountered the name "Stephen" (in 3rd grade), I thought it was pronounced "Step-hen." The teacher provided the correct pronunciation, but as Stephen was a bit of a bully, I have vague memories of deliberately mispronouncing his name as a (pretty much ineffectual) way of trying to get back at him.

My high school has a teacher with the last name of "Offer." Some students who disliked him (and/or thought they were being funny) replaced his real first name (which escapes me at the moment) with "Jack." (Behind his back, I suspect).

Re the Batman encounter R.J. Carter describes, when the 1989 movie was out, there was an article in one of the local papers about a family with the last name of Batman who kept getting so many calls that they had to get an unlisted number.

I have a friend with the last name of Manor. Despite my urgings, he refused to name his first born "Stately Wayne."

What on Earth is wrong with him?

My cousin's married name from her first marriage was "Sample." I "suggested" she name her child "Free." She ignored me. Gave him a sane name.

What's up with that?

I have cousins with the last name of Roehl (pronounced "roll.") Their one time dog's name? Muffin.

Slightly off topic (with a turn to initials rather than names), my brother and his wife both have names that begin with K. When they got married, someone decided to give them monogrammed drinking glasses- with his first initial, her first initial and their combined last initial. I don't think whomever placed the order thought that through.

A guy in my class in high school had (and still has, to the best of my knowledge) the last name of Hittler. I'm not aware of any problems he encountered at that age, but I didn't know him in grade school, so have no idea what those years were like. I've sometime wondered whether the second T was a latter addition to the family name, to distance themselves from associations with Adolph. If so, you've got to admire them. They could have changed it to something safe, like "Smith", but chose to keep a name (with perhaps a slight modification) that has unfortunate connections.

Which reminds me of a local political consultant with the first name of Adolph. Wonder what sort of childhood he had. Granted he's not even of the same race as Hitler, but kids and logic don't always go together.

Oh, by the way, Mercedes (the car) was named after an actual girl named Mercedes. She wasn't a relative of Karl Benz (there were no "Mercedes Benz" cars at that time (1897)), but the 9-year-old daughter of auto dealer Emil Jellinek, who painted her name on the side of his cars for good luck. Only later did the Mercedes group of cars become part of the Benz auto family.

Two first names (like Peter David) in and of themselves are no big deal, but you have to wonder about parents who give their kids the same first and last name (or close to it). Take the poet William Carlos Williams. What? Every other given name, like say, "George", was taken?

And how did fictional characters handle their names in grade school? What was school like for planet-bound farmboy Luke Skywalker, for example?

And, of course, we already know the tale of the boy named Sue.

Returning to the real world, you know that somewhere out there lurks an individual named Rocky Rhodes.

Finally, I have a friend named Cornelius Fortune. Like me, he's a comics and SF fan. Sometimes, I'll use this line with him (and or others in the know): "I'm Cornelius Fortuneteller. I'm here to rescue you."

Hilarious, no?

No?

Oh.

His father, also a friend, has the first name of Robert. When we get together and the time comes to depart, I give him this send off:

"Hasta la vista.... Bobby."

Rick

I have a portuguese friend whose name is Luis Luis.

In Portugal, they add the mothers maiden name in the end so it was Luis Luis Something. Then they moved to Canada.

1] Try having the last name "Cryan".

2] Then take into account that one of your high school teachers is named "Laughin".

You'd think I would have been happy to give up my maiden name, but over the years I've learned to live with it.

>what kind of sadist would name their kid Richard Tingle?

Memory calls back my pondering about a famous, as yet unsolved(?), murder case and what sort of parents would give a kid a goofy name such as "JonBenet"? To a GIRL even!

My wife absolutely refused to allow me to name our daughter Lois, Margo, Penny, or Carpool.

My wife absolutely refused to allow me to name our daughter Lois, Margo, Penny, or Carpool.

My wife absolutely refused to allow me to name our daughter Lois, Margo, Penny, or Carpool.

My wife absolutely refused to allow me to name our daughter Lois, Margo, Penny, or Carpool.

On a somewhat more serious note, the principal of a Catholic school in Australia refused to enrol a child because of his "diabolical" surname, Hell. He is Max Hell, the son of an Austrian immigrant (the German adjective "hell" means 'light' or 'bright', depending on the context); as a compromise measure his father offered to register his son under the mother's maiden name, but later thought better of it and now will move to another town...

Link for the full story:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=277536

Yikes.

Sorry about the multiple posts.

On a less serious note, British Rail once had a chairman called Sir Peter Parker.

Re. Batman: There's also a city in Turkey called Batman and at least one restaurant named after the same.

Combining names solely on the basis of attendance called in my college accounting class... alphabetically, Gina got called before Bill, by the teacher who only used last names: Kort, Law.

My younger brother had a girl in his class named Heavenly Young.
Then there were three sisters named: Tee, Toy and Ty. And, no, they weren't triplets (Toy was my age)!

My original first name was Tigger. As in Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too (my parents were teen aged hippies). Now think for a second about all of the things that ryme with Tigger that start with the letter N. The black kids would affectionately say "Tigger My" in front of it. The white kids would use an emphasized "THE" if front of the word your thinking of.

When I was 12 my Dad finally let me change my name to Brian. By the way, his name is Kermit and I had an Uncle named Barny.

Sometimes, it's the combinations of names.

"David Paul and Karen J. Swearingen have announced the engagement of their daughter Dawne Nicole to Charles Gerald Churchville..."

http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070512/ANNOUNCEMENTS02/705120436/1194

I've one read the last 20 or so postings here so I appologize if this has been mentioned.

I've heard that George Forman named his four sons:

George, Jr.
George III
George IV and
George V

There are so many things that could be said about this by someone more clever than me, but I'll just say that he'd better hope that none of those kids turn out to be good boxers.

One of my good friends for most of my life has the first name of Coke (he's actually Coke, Jr.). He has endured so many Coke jokes over the years (Coke comes in a can for 35 cents), and when Coke Classic and New Coke came out, his friends had a field day.

Karen (I've only had one person come up with an annoying nickname for me, and she was trying to be nice. No, I won't tell you what it is.)

I went to school with a Ricky Icke (pronounced "Icky"). There was a Helen Markuardt ("mark-wart'). I always thought her name sounded like a ball bearing being dropped in oil.

Markwart (variants include Markward, Marquard, Markwort) is a fairly common German name meaning "boundary-guard" - the two elements of the name are related to the English words "march/mark" and "ward(en)" (exported and re-imported to and from French in the word "guard"). "Markwart" is also the Low German name of the Jay, referring to that bird's screeching out when someone approaches its territory.

1 haven't had time to read all the posts in this thread yet. Has anybody mentioned the anti-American Canadian head of the World Anti-Doping Agency, Dick Pound?

"I'll just say that he'd better hope that none of those kids turn out to be good boxers."

Or a decent Jetson.

One of the actors in 4400 has a very strange first name, I think its Mahershalalhishbaz, but I'm not sure of the spelling.

I was almost sad how grateful a former co-worker was when I actually asked how her last name (Boehner) was pronounced (Bay-ner) before trying to use it.

-Rex Hondo-

One question before I crash for the evening that kinda ties several threads together.

If three girls went into a Long Island school dressed as Hunter Pence, would they get sent home?

(I really shouldn't let my mind wander when I worked in high-90's weather outside all day. Or any other time, to be honest.)

I work at a hospital in the emergency department also, but the best name came from a photographer that occasionally displayed his craft in the hallways.
Dick Whips Photography
Thankfully his favorite subject was nature.

My daughter has a girl in her school with the last name of "pisupati" pronounced, and I kid you not in the least, Piss-a-potty
I threatened my daughter with years of farting profusely around boyfriends if I ever found out she gave this poor girl any crap.

And for the same first and last name...For years the Nolan family got to watch Nolan Nolan pontificate his love for Blatz bear (I think it was Blatz) apparently his parents loved it also.

One last name. Kind of cool "Derk Gravenstein"
I dont know it just sounds cool to me...

Stan Lee is kinda funny. As in Stanley Lee. It's almost like the start of a tongue twister.

(He was originally Stanley Liebert if I'm not mistaken)

My last name is Ready, so I was/am born ready. It's always a stupid little joke that gets people to laugh.

On the Hunter Pence thing, I'm an Astros fan and I just realized how silly than name can sound, still doesn't beat Major Applewhite, or some kid I once knew who was named "Riker"(first name) after the "Next Generation" guy.

I have difficulty believing that no one to this point has mentioned Dick Butkis.

(My middle name is Lee, and my last name is Kirby)

Completely off topic, PAD, but I'm looking forward to seeing you at this year's Shore Leave again, and I have a... unique... autograph request for you.

I think you'll appreciate it, and approve.

J.

Ah...one more since my 'net connection seems to be working for the moment.

While in the military one of the things I did was schedule appointments for the folks new to the base. Answered the phone one day for and had a guy I knew tell me he had a newbie coming in - last name Tank. First name (you guessed it) Sherman.

Sometime later the guy lost a fight on base. Never did figure out if it had to do with his name, which he obviously didn't live up to very well.

- Chris

In middle school I became friends with one of my sister's friends, a girl named Francis Wang, although she perferred to go by the nickname "Fanny." That's right, I was friends with Fanny Wang.

There was another kid in her class who had the fortune of being named Dickson Her. I don't think that anyone really made fun of him for it, just kinda felt sorry that his parents had no idea just what they were getting him into when they named him.

I just remembered another name, my sister was also good friends with a boy named Matt Weiner. Substitute teachers always paused when they came to his name and ponder over which pronunciation would be a better approach (for the record, it was pernounced "whiner," like the action).

In my health class freshman year of high school there was a boy named Anibal (pronounced on-ih-bowl) who faced general harrasment whenever a substitute teacher took it upon themselves to correct the typo on the role-sheet and say that little girl's name the way it ought to be said. He took it in great stride, I'll give him that.

I've been teased for my own last name, although the pronounciation isn't really that amusing, it's just a tough one to guess on. On occasion I'll have the "joy" of being dubbed "Jasmine Louse," which is apparently hillarious in idiot-speak. And for the next couple hours any semblence of the phonetics of my last name are thrown out the window with maniacal laughter by those around me. Frankly, it really doesn't matter.

I think one of the most unfortunate names I've ever come across is Dick Hoff.

A guy I used to work with swore he went to school with a girl named Anita Hooker.

Two that stick out for me were both from the Air Force... First, a guy in my basic training flight with the last name of Tinkle. He flipped out around day two or three and ended up getting discharged. Another is kinda along the lines of "Peter David" but involves military ranks: Airman Seaman.

Peace.

There is a professional rugby league player over here in Australia named Karmichael Hunt.

That's right, on the scoreboard comes up as "K.Hunt"

And occasionally the game caller accidently misses out on the "armichael" part when saying Karmichael Hunt.
Hilarity ensues for the audience, denial begins at the network.

And of course there's always Mike Hunt and Dick Hertz. Ben Dover is a distant third.

In the world of literature, how about Piscine Molitor Patel from The Life of Pi? He called himself by the nickname "Pi" to stop his classmates from calling him "Pissing" Patel.

Years ago, while working my way through college at a courier service, we had regular deliveries to Dick Hymen on West Beaver Creek Dr. They used pre printed adress labels, and for the first few weeks the labels were missing the "s". Enjoy.

Hilarity ensues for the audience, denial begins at the network.

Well, back when I was living in LA, it wasn't unusual to hear sportscasters talk about "another catch by Mike Schmitt," leaving out the all-important M in the last name...

As for my name -- not too bad, I suppose, but there are certainly a number of Lynch jokes that can be made, and around Christmas time I always get "you're a mean one, Mr. Lynch" in proper tune and four-part harmony. Just as Bill said up above, gee it's STILL funny.

I've mentioned this name before as well, but my wife's cousin's son (whew!) is named Justice Hazard. He will be either a Supreme Court justice or a super-villain when he reaches adulthood; there are really no other choices.

(His parents had the name picked out well in advance, but he happened to be born on Election Day 2004. Down with family earlier this month, someone said something along the lines of "so it was a name celebrating that justice had been done!" I said, "Gee, I'd figured it was a way of ensuring that there'd be SOME justice on that day...")

TWL

My friend is named Ned.

Legally. His parents named him Ned.

He doesn't get teased about it.

But he does get shit from companies when he applies for jobs, because he doesn't put a "professional name" down for his own, but what they infer is a colloquial, familiar version.

Tim, here I would've thought he was named to bring Boss Hogg, Roscoe and the Dukes together at last.

BTW, was reminded yesterday that my wife and I once worked with Jim Hawkins. Do you have any idea how much I wanted to ask him where his map was or take him to lunch at Long John Silver's?

Don't know why this didn't strike me before, but when I worked in a department store, at different times I had to place orders for a family named Spock, and another with the last name of Klingon. It took all my acting experience to keep the snickers down. That is, until they'd left my desk and the manager called me and asked me if I was serious or just goofing. Now, he called me Scully, but only after he saw that John Candy boating movie.

Tim, here I would've thought he was named to bring Boss Hogg, Roscoe and the Dukes together at last.

Wrong spelling -- it's Hazard with one Z, not two.

My wife was in middle school right when the original Dukes series started, though, and one particular gym teacher thought it was the height of hilarity to call her "Daisy." Every. Single. Day.

Fortunately, the terms of her probation still allowed her to marry me. :-)

TWL

Okay, did you mean "still allowed" or "required?"

(Sorry, Tim, I had to if I were to retain what little self resect I have. And in my wife's case, it was DEFINATELY required.)

Well, "allowed" is what she's always TOLD me. Some things you don't inquire about too deeply...

TWL

You've always been a wise man, Tim.

I've told my traffic stop story here enough times before so I'll just throw a few links out.

Child named 2.0...
www.cnn.com/2004/US/Midwest/02/01/offbeat.baby.version2.0.ap/index.html

Like sports? Name the kid ESPN...
http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=1829996

And then there's the nuts from the news just a few months back...
www.metro.co.uk/news/article.html?in_article_id=54021&in_page_id=34

Almost makes pulling over a teenager girl named Chlamydia seem normal.

This doesn't concern an individual's name, but exit 69 of I-75 in Michigan is onto Big Beaver Rd.

When I broke my collar bone at age 12, my doctor was Dr. Risk.

My parents once flew to Hawaii on airplane piloted by "Hap Hazard."

Rick

My parents once flew to Hawaii on airplane piloted by "Hap Hazard."

Assuming that was his real name and that that's how it was spelled, I actually wonder if it's some distant relative of my wife. Apparently all the Hazards in the U.S. trace back to 1-2 families.

Of course, my wife has lots of fun with this. As a biologist, she's a Bio Hazard; her dad (a chemist) is a Chemical Hazard; her uncle is a Construction Hazard; her aunt is either a Travel Hazard or a Political Hazard (she ran the WH travel office about two iterations after the big brouhaha in Clinton's first term); etc., etc., etc. It's fun.

TWL

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I grew up with a girl last name of Reese. ET was a bad time for her. I went to school with guy last name of Kniebel, pronouced "k'nee-bill".My last name of Norton got me lots of Ralph Kramden impersonations.Oh and Eddie Murphy's routine about the Honeymooners about killed me in school.