August 18, 2006

Utterly pointless Things I'd Like To see

1) I'd like to see a James Bond movie where it's revealed that his parents survived the ski accident in which they allegedly died and are running an evil spy organization, and his parents are played by Sean Connery and Diana Rigg.

2) I'd like to see a rumor started that Adrian Brody will be starring as "The Shadow," just so we see if we can actually make it come about.

3) I'd like to see James Cameron's "Aquaman."

4) I'd like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called "Snakes on a Plane" set to the tune of "Band on the Run." (Admit it: You're already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn't it.)

5) I'd like to see in the next "Pirates" movie that Jack Sparrow got his hat from his dad (Keith Richards.)

6) I'd like to see George W. Bush as a guest on "The Daily Show."

7) I'd like to see Jack Black playing Blackjack.

8) I'd like to see Geoffrey Rush starring as Doctor Syn in a remake of Disney's "The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh."

PAD

Posted by Peter David at August 18, 2006 10:38 AM | TrackBack | Other blogs commenting
Comments
Posted by: Matt Hawes at August 18, 2006 11:01 AM

"Weird" Al does have a new CD coming out in September, so that "Snakes On A Plane" parody could be a reality!

On the subject of novelty performers: PAD, as a friend of Bill Mumy, do you know if there are any new plans for a "Barnes and Barnes" CD, or are they officially split up?

Matthew Hawes
COMICS UNLIMITED
www.ComicsUnlimited.biz

Posted by: spiderrob9 at August 18, 2006 11:10 AM

Matt buddy, how are you? (Rob from bynerobotics). Hope your store is doing ok after this Civil War debacle.

Posted by: David Hunt at August 18, 2006 11:15 AM

Blast you David!!!!

You've discovered a new method for the transmition of viruses. Now I want to see almost every one of those things. I can see Connery doing it now: "Bond, James Bond...Senior." Get Harrison Ford to play Bond and then....naaaah.

Posted by: Jerry C at August 18, 2006 11:42 AM

I would love to see Peter Jackson do ERB's first three Mars books.

Posted by: Matt Hawes at August 18, 2006 11:45 AM

Hi Rob (Hewitt?),

I'm fine! I hope all is going well for you, too.

The "Civil War" thing is a mess, but it's something I almost expected would happen, given how publishers don't seem to care about late books anymore.

PAD, what's your take on the matter?

Matthew Hawes
COMICS UNLIMITED
www.ComicsUnlimited.biz

Posted by: Brian Douglas at August 18, 2006 11:47 AM

Bush on the Daily Show? That would rule.

Posted by: Sean Scullion at August 18, 2006 11:53 AM

Bush would never go on the Daily Show! He's afraid of getting pruned!

HA! I kill me.

And now, Peter, thanks to you, I'm going to be singing Snakes on a Plane for at LEAST a week. And as for Cameron's Aquaman, I can only see one thing.

"I'm the King of the Seas!"

Posted by: JamesLynch at August 18, 2006 11:54 AM

Hate to say it, but the only way Bush would appear on THE DAILY SHOW is if his scheduling is being handled by the same person who booked Stephen Colbert for the Bush roast. And I suspect that person has been transferred to Iraq.

Posted by: Sleestak at August 18, 2006 12:01 PM

#8 would rule.

Posted by: Shed at August 18, 2006 12:20 PM

I'd like to see a reference to Calhoun in the next Movie - Anyone got JJ Abrahms phone number ??

Posted by: Shed at August 18, 2006 12:24 PM

Obviously ... thats the next star trek movie
Also obviously ... its a link to New Frontier
And on the subjects of links ... When is the next new frontier due out ?? C'mon PAD we're dying here .. give us some crumbs.

You hinted a while ago (OCT 03 in questions thread) that you were looking a kirk/calhoun time travel story - or perhaps calhoun in the mirror universe -- Any news please ?!?

Posted by: jdfrietze at August 18, 2006 12:33 PM

I like them all, except the first one should be George Lazenby instead of Connery.

And maybe the Scarecrow movie can be based on Tom Mandrake's new work http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/tommandrake/

And just to add in my own - I'd like to see a buddy cop movie with
David Keith and
Keith David

Posted by: J. Alexander at August 18, 2006 12:37 PM

Hmmm. Next year there is going to be a two volume collection of Mirror Universe stories from the different eras of Star Trek. Peter is listed as the writer for one of them.

As for Bush appearing on THE DAILY SHOW, forget that, I would love to see him on THE COLBERT REPORT.

As for what I want to see... a movie adaption of the Belgariad, a Star Trek New Frontier tv series
and a healthy Robert Jordan.

Posted by: Robert C. at August 18, 2006 12:41 PM

I always thought it would make a great Bond movie to have the latest actor decide to retire, and have him shipped off to an island, (yes like The Prisoner,) only to meet up with Connery and Bond who team up to escape.

Posted by: Robert C. at August 18, 2006 12:42 PM

I meant Connery and Moore of course.

Posted by: tuttle at August 18, 2006 12:46 PM

With Casino Royale re-booting the whole franchise and starting over its too late now but it would have ALSO been kinda nice if 'M' would have explained to whoever the current BOND would have been (and also filling the audience in during this brief explenation) "That as you know Bond, only the best of the best get to become a Double O agent. We have only seven slots available at any time and the very best agent of course takes on the name of James Bond. He must absorb all previous agents histories and the official biography of James Bond, thus becoming James Bond for however long he is able to.
Your previous namesakes were all quite good in their day but of course they have all chosen to retire and so now it is YOUR turn to become the next James Bond. You seem up to the challenge."

She would then hand him a manila folder.....
He of course would take it and the camera would then move in for a close up and introduce us to the new face for the next four or seven films in the franchise and the new actor would look at "M" of course and say something like./...

"I am ready M. I'll make you and the Her Majesty proud."

M would then say, "No heroics Bond. Just do your job."

Or SOME form of dialogue like that so that all the differant faces with the same name these past forty odd years would be easily explained within the universe OF the whole film franchise...

But then- as I said- too late now-
But Bond WILL return......

Posted by: Luigi Novi at August 18, 2006 01:08 PM

9) Paramount actually offering to adapt New Frontier into a new tv series, or at least a series of miniseries.

10) Editors no longer censoring or canceling good books simply to suit their personal visions or for the marketing of animated versions of the characters (which seems like putting the cart before the horse).

11) Filmmakers actually making good adaptations of comic book properties consistently.

Posted by: Bladestar at August 18, 2006 01:40 PM

Bond is a Gallfreyan?

(Yes, Who-vians, I'm sure I mangled the spelling)

Posted by: tuttle at August 18, 2006 02:22 PM

Maybe cable networks who have one or two set times for commercial spots so that watching the movie is more enjoyable

not enough space for them all? Why not have less commercials but charge them more for the priviledge of airing...

who the heck watches the stupid stuff anyhow--
I'm watching Jaws for Gosh sakes---(yes- for the hundredth time- but STILL-) I want less commercial breaks and I wanna specific time WHEN they'll be on during the film so I know when to go potty or grab a sandwhich.

ALSO----

How about monitors in the hallway of a movie theater---so when I am waiting in line for the next showing of a film i ALREADY PAID 10 bucks to see-(twenty if i have a date AND overpriced popcorn and drinks---)I will have something to watch and maybe I wont MIND seeing a commercial IN THE HALLWAY as long as once I sit in my cushy theater seat all I need to do is watch the damn movie and not suffer thru TWENTY MINUTES of commercials and info commercials and pleas for benefits and the occassional movie trailer----
totally unreasonable the way they get us into the seats we PAID for and then force us to watch endless commercials. I mean- they are ALREADY getting extra money FROM the commercial which SHOULD go to paying for the teenage lazy staff and the rent and the electricity so why not have the commercials in the hallway (all the bills are paid and if anyone wishes to stand there and watch all the stuff they can see at home for free they can feel free to do so) but once I am in my PAID FOR seat I expect one or two trailers and then the damn movie!!!!

And you'd think they would get a clue as to WHY nobody is GOING to the movies----

we ALL KNOW your making big bucks on the commercials and yet it STILL costs 50 bucks or more for a family to see a movie!!!! DUH!!!!!

Posted by: Sasha at August 18, 2006 02:32 PM

12) A THE PRISONER movie with Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, MacNee, and Rigg among the residents of the Village. McGoohan would, of course, be Number 2.

Posted by: Jim at August 18, 2006 02:39 PM

I've long wanted to get a country music duet between Garth Brooks and Holly Dunn.

Posted by: John Conner at August 18, 2006 03:05 PM

Well the bond movie I would like to see is a take off on princess bride wher you find out james bond s like the Dread Pirate Roberts, and there actually have been several "Bonds".

This movie would have 2 key scenes.... 1) every one stares at Lazenby wondering who the hell he is... and 2) more importantly Connery punching out Dalton.

I figure the story could revolve around M getting kidnapped and all the "Bonds" comming out of retirement to save her.

Posted by: John Conner at August 18, 2006 03:07 PM

ohh also forgot would love to see firefly get another shot...lol

Posted by: travis at August 18, 2006 03:11 PM

Well since I just finished rereading Alias Dr. Syn (the scarecrow), I never thought of Geoffry Rush, but I think he could do it.
Mind you, I liked Disney's interpretation of it, I could see Michael Bay get ahold of it and totally destroy it (or Brett Ratner)...
It needs an even handed director... The big names... actually, I think Stephen Frears could do it justice.
And on the Shadow. Come on. If they make it, he needs to actually use his guns, and don't get Russel Mulcahay to direct it.
Please.
With no word of Alec Baldwin.

-T

Posted by: Luigi Novi at August 18, 2006 03:22 PM

I dunno, I think Brett Ratner is okay. Red Dragon and X-Men showed that he can handle adaptations of other properties fairly well.

Posted by: Paul Balze at August 18, 2006 03:30 PM

I'd like to see a DVD of "Who Wants to be a Superhero?"--with a commentary track by me:
"Oh, gee, one of them is a spy working for Stan. Gee, could it possibly be the guy with the word "TRAITOR" written backwards across his chest in four-inch-high letters?"
"He's out because he wanted to make action figures of himself? I'd have shitcanned him because he clearly doesn't know what his codename means..."
"Superheroes don't lie? Right, except when they LIE ALL THE DAMN TIME. 'See, Lois, I'm not Superman--here's a picture of us together!' 'How do you get all these Spider-Man pictures, Parker? Oh, just lucky, I guess.' 'May I remind you again that I am NOT Daredevil?'"
And so on.

Posted by: spiderrob8 at August 18, 2006 03:38 PM

1Well the bond movie I would like to see is a take off on princess bride wher you find out james bond s like the Dread Pirate Roberts, and there actually have been several "Bonds".

This movie would have 2 key scenes.... 1) every one stares at Lazenby wondering who the hell he is... and 2) more importantly Connery punching out Dalton.

I figure the story could revolve around M getting kidnapped and all the "Bonds" comming out of retirement to save her.

*****
I've been saying that for years. Have all 5 Bonds (well no six I guess) in the movie. The new guy gets kidnapped and the 5 previous guys have to be called out of retirement or something. Or the 5 previous Bonds one by one get kidnapped. James Bond is the name and history they give to their top 00 agent who

Posted by: Rangerk8 at August 18, 2006 03:53 PM

Actually, I'm parodying "Fly On A Plane" -

"I'm a snake on a plane,
I'm slith'rin' all around.
I got on in Honolulu
Now I'm L-A bound."

Posted by: Peter David at August 18, 2006 04:03 PM

"The "Civil War" thing is a mess, but it's something I almost expected would happen, given how publishers don't seem to care about late books anymore.

PAD, what's your take on the matter?"

I more or less expected it, really. One of the reasons that I tied in early on.

PAD

Posted by: Manny at August 18, 2006 04:25 PM

I would love to see whoever conceived "Galactica 1980" strung up by the short hairs and fed inch by inch to a heard of angry chihuahuas. I mean severely p.o'd rat dogs.

I'd like to see a decent film adaptation of ANY Heinlein novel, as well as the punishment above for anyone involved in the "Deep Space 90210" fiasco.

And, for anyone who gets the reference, I'd like to coyote catch the roadrunner, I'd like to see the Mounties take a hit, but i'd love to see Dolly Parton's...well, whatever.

Posted by: Scott Iskow at August 18, 2006 04:44 PM

PAD said:
I more or less expected it, really. One of the reasons that I tied in early on.

Very wise move, in retrospect. Earlier I believe you said the reason you kept it short was because of fandom complaining about six months of tie-ins--right before you pointed out how all the tie-ins were flying off the shelves. Now they're not even gonna make it to the shelves... but at least your books will. Funny how things work out. (A good length for tie-ins may very well be no more than half the length of the event.)

Posted by: David K. M. Klaus at August 18, 2006 05:51 PM

> I'd like to see a DVD of "Who Wants to be a
> Superhero?" -- with a commentary track by me:
>
> "He's out because he wanted to make action
> figures of himself? I'd have shitcanned him
> because he clearly doesn't know what his
> codename means..."

I actually went along with that one: the cardinal sin in comics has always been trying to profit from your powers, with Peter Parker being the archetypical example of it blowing up in one's face. Also look at all the crap Booster Gold got from other heroes for the same reason.

> "Superheroes don't lie? Right, except when
> they LIE ALL THE DAMN TIME. 'See, Lois, I'm
> not Superman -- here's a picture of us
> together!'
> 'How do you get all these Spider-Man pictures,
> Parker? Oh, just lucky, I guess.'
> 'May I remind you again that I am NOT
> Daredevil?'"

I confess surprise that Stan Lee has forgotten so much of what he himself once wrote and pioneered. "Heroes don't start out bad and turn good." (Or words to that effect.) Excuse me? The Avengers: Hawkeye. Quicksilver. The Scarlet Witch. Which he himself wrote, if I recall correctly.

"Heroes don't hurt people, they help people." Well, Gerry Conway did create The Punisher after Mr. Lee was no longer writing and editing (and maybe not reading) comics on a regular basis....

"Spider-Man would never part with his mask." Oh? Four words: "Spider Man No More!"

And while not wanting to get into an argument over whether Mr. Lee or Jack Kirby had more influence in the creation of the early Marvel Silver Age heroes, at least Mr. Kirby could have been acknowledged.

Posted by: David K. M. Klaus at August 18, 2006 05:54 PM

Forgot a few things:

Superman did take off his cape, every time he flew someone to the Fortress of Solitude during the Mort Weisinger era.

And how the hell could he have said that super-heroes didn't let their personal problems get in the way of their being super-heroes? Marvel was built on that idea!

Posted by: Joe Nazzaro at August 18, 2006 06:14 PM

Let's see, what do I want to see?

A moratorium placed on referring to celebrities by their first names. Like they're our friends. And no more crunching romantically connected celebrity names together, like Brangelina or Bennifer.

No more reality shows that involve singing, dancing, stand-up, losing weight or contrived romances. Survivor is okay, but from now on, whoever gets voted out is sacrificed to the island gods.

Mel Gibson should attend temple services for six months, possibly with a Holocaust survivor. I'm not making light of the situation; it would just be nice if the punishment fit the crime for a change.

No more crunching TV credits down to postage stamp size. If we can't see them anyway, what's the point? And while I'm on the subject, no more on-screen interactive promos. It's not much fun watching a heavy-hitting drama only to have a tennis ball bounce across the screen in the middle of it.

Any director wishing to make a comic book-based film has to read every issue of the comic book ever published, going all the way back to issue one. Golden Age included.

And for those who have been watching Who Wants to Be A Superhero, more power to you guys! I got as far as the huge black woman festooned with donuts and I had to give it up. Side note to David Klaus: if there's any lingering doubt about who was the real creative force behind most of Marvel's greatest characters, I think Stan Lee's involvement in this series pretty much proves that it was the late great Jack Kirby who came up with the goods. Otherwise we'd all be arguing about which side Monkey Woman would be fighting on in Civil War.

Posted by: Scott Martin at August 18, 2006 07:10 PM

Tuttle wrote:
>"Your previous namesakes were all quite good in
>their day but of course they have all chosen to
>retire and so now it is YOUR turn to become the
>next James Bond. You seem up to the challenge."

Heh. You could expand on this to explain other discrepancies in the 007 films:

"Oh, and another thing. You will be regularly associating with certain people in the agency -- myself, Q, Miss Moneypenny, and your American counterpart, Felix Leiter. Like you, they are nameless agents who have been assigned to their various roles. It is very important that when you meet them, you act as if you've always known them, even if you've never seen them before in your life. Is that understood?"

"Completely, M."

"Good. From time to time, those agents will also be replaced. If this occurs during your tenure, you must pretend to recognize the replacements, even if their ages, nationalities, races or genders change."

"Ah, yes, I'd heard rumors that Felix used to be black, and that you were a man once. Does SPECTRE have a similar program?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, Ernst Stavro Blofeld..."

"Oh, yes, the whole scar-and-hair thing. Yes, SPECTRE has gone through a few Blofelds in their time, too."

"Now I see why you weren't bothered about me being blonde."

"Blonde? James, you have *always* been blonde."

(Yeah, you could have some fun with this...)

Posted by: AdamYJ at August 18, 2006 07:28 PM

Wait a minute. James Bond's parents died in a skiing accident. Yet, there's a skiing scene in every James Bond movie whether it's really needed or not. You'd think he'd like tempting fate.

Anyway:

1) I'd like to see a Young Justice animated series. That book felt like it was halfway to being a Saturday morning cartoon anyway. Though, it might seem redundant following on the heels of that Teen Titans 'toon.

2) I'd like to see a series of movies based on The Chronicles of Prydain, just because they're cool books.

3) I'd like to see someone write an "all-ages" comic that involves dinosaurs to a large extent. I mean, why hasn't anyone else thought of that.

4) I'd like to see a Green Lantern movie with the character of Kyle Rayner as the lead (not likely at this point).

That's all I have for now. I removed a couple that were too "gripe-y".

Posted by: Andy Ihnatko at August 18, 2006 07:35 PM

I knew that the Bond franchise was in deep, deep trouble when I realized that the only two films that got me excited about Bond again were...not James Bond movies.

"The Rock." Sean Connery plays an old, gray, stringy-haired British prisoner who was locked up by the US in the Sixties and then pretty much abandoned and forgotten about. His skills and resourcefulness are very, very special.

I'm there in the theater thinking "You know, if they forgot about Nicholas Cage and the whole Alcatraz thing, we wouldn't even need to call it a Bond film." We're all smart enough to understand that Bond's last case as 007 went very, very wrong, that the SIS disavowed all knowledge of their agent and passed his identity and license to kill to a new operative, and that Bond was far too much of a professional to break.

The other one was "The Incredibles." After spending two hours with that design and art direction, I believe that the smartest thing that could possibly be done to the Bond franchise would be to have Pixar make the next film.

Set it in the "classic" Bond world. Connery as Bond. Cold War raging like liquid nitrogen. Madmen with fantastic plans and weapons, fantastic characters who'll stop at nothing.

Bond doesn't work if you try to make him into a "real" person who lives in "our" world. He's Bond. He lives in James Bond's world. And only Pixar -- using a style of character design that's more realistic than "The Incredibles" but more stylized than the people in "Shrek" -- can really pull it off.

Posted by: ArcLight at August 18, 2006 08:10 PM

Yeah, I'm another "multi-Bond" guy. I've always wished the first movie with a new actor would open with the typical big action setpiece using the previous actor but have him get killed during it. Then, after the credits, the new actor walks into M's office and is greeted "Hello, Mr. Bond" and is handed the folder.

As for something I'd like to see...

I'd like to see Adam West and Lee Majors guest-star on an episode of "Boston Legal." Bonus points if they sing with Shatner.

Posted by: Matt Dow at August 18, 2006 08:18 PM

Regarding Bond.

I've always thought a remake of "Casino Royale" with Connery as Sir James Bond would have been great.

For those unfamiliar, in the sixties, they made a Bond spoof where 007 is killed, and the original Bond has to come out of retirement to lead the SIS, or MI-6 or whatever.

I believe David Niven was Sir James. Woody Allen plays James Bond Jr.

Best part of the movie? Sir James first act is to rename everyone in the acency James Bond, and gives them all the 007 number. So all these people come to work, and say, "hello James" or "morning Mr. Bond"

Classic.

Matt

Posted by: Robert Fuller at August 18, 2006 08:19 PM

"Ah, yes, I'd heard rumors that Felix used to be black"

Wait, when was Felix black?

I don't think it's a good idea to try to explain the many faces of Bond (mostly because of what Scott wrote). You might as well try to explain the two Darrins on Bewitched, or the two Lt. Saaviks, or why Marty McFly retroactively got a brand new girlfriend with the same name as the old one, or... well, you get the picture.

And Adrian Brody as the Shadow? I don't know, I'd kind of prefer it if he didn't appear in any movie, ever again. Can't stand him.

Posted by: Dave at August 18, 2006 08:30 PM

"12) A THE PRISONER movie with Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton, Brosnan, MacNee, and Rigg among the residents of the Village. McGoohan would, of course, be Number 2."

Oh...wow.

If only it would happen.

Even as a novel, PAD?

Posted by: Scott Martin at August 18, 2006 08:55 PM

"Wait, when was Felix black?"

In 'Never Say Never Again,' he was played by Bernie Casey. (Granted, that wasn't an "official" 007 movie, but it made my point... :)

Actually, I just discovered that in 'Casino Royale,' Felix is being played by Jeffrey Wright, who is also an African-American.

Posted by: JamesLynch at August 18, 2006 10:55 PM

Some more stuff I'd like to see (in no paritcular order):

1) A movie version of I AM LEGEND starring Bruce Campbell.

2) Harlan Ellison's version of I, ROBOT brought to the big screen, with Harlan given complete control.

3) Catherine Zeta-Jones as Wonder Woman.

4) More high-quality superhero porn. (Be honest: You want to see this too. Especially if you were, um, "excited" at the prospect of seeing Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman.)

5) The animated series of SCUD: THE DISPOSABLE ASSASSIN, with Jon Malkovich as the voice of Scud.

6) The real ending of the SCUD series. (What a weak cliffhanger to stop the book on!)

7) The winning lottery numbers for the grand prize on the ticket I bought.

Posted by: Michael D. at August 19, 2006 12:01 AM

1) Lynda Carter as Hippolyta in the upcoming Wonder Woman film.

2) More Bond movies with Pierce Brosnan but with interesting directors to tackle the franchise (Fincher, Scorcese, Tarantino, Gondry, etc.)

3) The cast of the 1994 film "The Shadow" as the cast of a 1994 film "The Batman"; Alec Baldwin - Batman/Bruce Wayne, Penelope Ann Miller - Julie Madison, Tim Curry - The Joker, Ian McKellen - Alfred

Posted by: Shawn Levasseur at August 19, 2006 12:28 AM

"For those unfamiliar, in the sixties, they made a Bond spoof where 007 is killed, and the original Bond has to come out of retirement to lead the SIS, or MI-6 or whatever.

I believe David Niven was Sir James. Woody Allen plays James Bond Jr.

Best part of the movie? Sir James first act is to rename everyone in the acency James Bond, and gives them all the 007 number. So all these people come to work, and say, "hello James" or "morning Mr. Bond""

That's the spooky thing, this was long before the Bond franchise made even their first handoff of the role. So the joke of there being so many "Bonds" was a satire BEFORE the fact.

Posted by: Drew at August 19, 2006 12:50 AM

While I hadn't thought of him playing Bond's father, I've long wanted to see Sean Connery play a Bond Villain. I had thought of him being a former KGB agent who was still playing the Soviets vs America game.

"Snakes on a Plane! SNAAAKES ON A PLAAAAAAAAAANE!"

So Adrian Brody is play The Shadow? Cool! I'll tell all my friends :)

Posted by: Howard Margolin at August 19, 2006 01:11 AM

Regarding what some people were saying about "Who Wants To Be A Superhero?" I'd like to see Major Victory say, "Stan, why are you so down on me being a former stripper? Every time you're on camera, there's a poster of "Stripperella" behind you." And, "If it's forbidden for super-heroes to remove parts of their costumes, how come Spider-Man removed his mask in front of a trainload of people in "Spider-Man 2?"

Posted by: dave w. at August 19, 2006 02:05 AM

I admit I just scrollwed thru the comments before I call it a night, but I saw something about Mel. Do you think 'they' are out to get him? Would anyone care if I made the same comments--or EVEN worse?!@?

Posted by: MikeT at August 19, 2006 02:36 AM

4) I'd like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called "Snakes on a Plane" set to the tune of "Band on the Run." (Admit it: You're already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn't it.)

Weird al never takes suggestions for songs due to liability issues. That is an inviolable rule that is never broken. Except for the time that he did it when Madonna suggested "Like a Surgeon". :)


Posted by: TallestFanEver at August 19, 2006 05:55 AM

1) Eh, sure, why not. Connery HAS to be in a Bond flick again as a villian before he kicks it. I do agree with that.

2) Hell, no. Brody sucks. 3 hours of him in KONG is all I ever want to see for the rest of my life.

3) Christ, yes.

4) I'm going to see SoaP today on my b-day! BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!

5) Nice bit, hope to see it too.

6) You, me, and every other liberal minded, Comedy Central watchin' viewer on the planet.

7) The best thing Jack Black ever did (aside from that X-Files stint) was the song "Tribute" with his band Tenacious D. A) thier movie is going to f-ing rock and B) got and look up Tribute on www.youtube.com It is THE GREATEST SONG IN THE WORLD (but just a tribute)

8) Uhm. Okay.

Posted by: Alan Wilkinson at August 19, 2006 06:00 AM

I'd like to see a Power Rangers team-up where most of the fighting is done at Megazord size, though not nessercerily with each team's in their own Megazords...

Posted by: Alan Wilkinson at August 19, 2006 06:15 AM

For that matter, PAD writing an episode of Power Rangers, especially if it means keeping in bits like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PoHm_wpNtw

Posted by: Micha at August 19, 2006 08:02 AM

A new Jos Weadon series?

Posted by: blindpew at August 19, 2006 09:16 AM

Pointless things I'd like to see?

1. A TV series based on the 'Lensman' books, handled by someone who has respect for the material.

2. An episode of 'Galactica' where I didn't get hit over the head with the "Maybe the Cylons are right" message by showing the worst examples of humanity every 5 minutes.

3. Oded Fehr being given a big break by casting him as 'Sinbad the Sailor', instead of it going to the likes of Keanu Reeves and Richard Grieco.

4. People to stop dismissing Milla Jovovich as "just another model turned actress" and actually paying attention to her acting, which technically and artistically kicks butt. (C'mon. Ignore the outfits in 'The 5th Element' and notice how she actually pulls off the whole "Frightened, confused" thing)

5. An issue of Batman, with the final page of him being thrown to the feet of the "Mystery Villain", Batman slowly looks up... And sees "King Tut" from the Adam West series sitting on a throne. Batman, realizing who wrote the issue, looks out of the panel and begins to scream PAD's name in a Shatnerian manner.

Posted by: Kim Metzger at August 19, 2006 09:16 AM

Tuttle wrote M saying: "We have only seven slots available at any time and the very best agent of course takes on the name of James Bond." A few years ago, I was listening to several unabridged audio versions of several of Fleming's books. (Among other things, it's fun to listen to "From Russia with Love" and hear the reaction when Bond's name is brought up as the Soviets are trying to decide who to kill in British Intelligence.) And I'm pretty sure I heard mentioned in passing that there are only three 00 agents at any one time.

Posted by: Rich Drees at August 19, 2006 09:35 AM

James Lynch-
Nice ot see I'm not the only one who remembers SCUD...

Posted by: Tim Lynch at August 19, 2006 10:04 AM

I'd like to see Weird Al Yankovic write a song called "Snakes on a Plane" set to the tune of "Band on the Run." (Admit it: You're already singing it to yourself to see how it sounds. Perfect, isn't it.)

You bastard. F***ing earworm, that is.

I'm also loving the multi-Bond idea that so many people are discussing.

As for other pointless things I'd like to see --

13) George W. Bush as a guest on "Celebrity Jeopardy!".

14) An alternate universe where Lucas did the prequel series (a) earlier, (b) with a still-living Leigh Brackett doing the scripting, and (c) with a young Ben Cross playing the Anakin role.

15) Sesame Street doing a good spoof of "Elmo's World." (Oh, wait -- they DID that last week, with "Cookie's World." DAMN funny.)

TWL

Posted by: Luke K.Walsh at August 19, 2006 10:46 AM

MikeT wrote: "Weird al never takes suggestions for songs due to liability issues. That is an inviolable rule that is never broken. Except for the time that he did it when Madonna suggested "Like a Surgeon". :)"

Pity, as PAD inspired me to think of No Doubt's "Just A Girl" for a Snakes on a Plane parody...

Micha: "A new Jos Weadon [sic] series?"
YES! Or at least the Spike w/ Illyria, Ripper, other character spotlight, and Firefly direct-to-DVD movies that have been hinted at (or more, in the Spike/Illyria case) actually being made.

And, Tim Lynch - "Cookie's World"? Seriously? That sounds freakin' HILARIOUS!

Posted by: Tim Lynch at August 19, 2006 11:07 AM

Luke -- yes, seriously. They did it earlier this week as the opening 10-15 minutes of the show. It wasn't done with any malice so far as I could tell, but it poked fun at the concept with just enough bite to keep me laughing while my daughter enjoyed Cookie Monster. Good stuff.

TWL

Posted by: Jerry C at August 19, 2006 12:00 PM

"1. A TV series based on the 'Lensman' books, handled by someone who has respect for the material."

Hell, I would be happy, short term, to see the Japanese Lensman on DVD.

Posted by: Jerry C at August 19, 2006 12:03 PM

I want to see all those ads of a remake for The Wicker Man turn out to be just a bad dream on my part. There's no way that it can be remade and turn out good. Half of its charm is that it was riding that fine line of strangely cool and utter crap so well.

Posted by: Jerry C at August 19, 2006 12:09 PM

Ok. The Bond thing is really cool but I see it going two ways. A straight up Bond film might be cool as hell but it would make on awesome spoof as well. Someone convince PAD that it was all his idea for his next book.

Posted by: Robert Fuller at August 19, 2006 06:12 PM

I'd like to see a musical called "Food," to complete the Liquid Plumber Trilogy begun by Grease and Hair.

Posted by: Robert Fuller at August 19, 2006 06:18 PM

"I want to see all those ads of a remake for The Wicker Man turn out to be just a bad dream on my part. There's no way that it can be remade and turn out good. Half of its charm is that it was riding that fine line of strangely cool and utter crap so well."

And plus we know the ending already. The ending is what makes that movie, and I can't imagine being entertained by that story with that factor of suspense and unpredictability removed.

And since every Neil LaBute movie is inferior to the previous Neil LaBute movie, I can't see it being any good.

Posted by: Sean Scullion at August 19, 2006 06:22 PM

I got two. A live-action Gatchaman,(Battle of the Planets for any non-anime fans out there) and a REAL ending for V. Miss those lizards.

Posted by: Bill Mulligan at August 19, 2006 07:44 PM

More songs with great titles like "Monkey vs Robot", "King Robot Theremin", "Love and a Molotov Cocktail" and "She Said She Was a Virgin But Her Baby's Name Ain't Jesus"

Posted by: Jerry C at August 19, 2006 10:40 PM

"...and a REAL ending for V. Miss those lizards."

Well, the skinny out there is that they are working on a next gen kinda V. It will even have some of the old cast.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0366112/

Posted by: Kim Metzger at August 20, 2006 12:13 AM

Peter wrote:
8) I'd like to see Geoffrey Rush starring as Doctor Syn in a remake of Disney's "The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh."

Last year, I ran across a Disney digest called COMIC ZONE, the contents of which included a "Pirates of the Caribbean" story with Capt. Jack Sparrow -- in which he MET the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh! The Scarecrow helped Jack escape the British once again.

And you thought "Archie Meets the Punisher" was an odd team-up.

Posted by: David K. M. Klaus at August 20, 2006 02:09 AM

Russell T. Davies casts Sean Connery as The Master, escaped from the Eye of Harmony!

Posted by: John Seavey at August 20, 2006 05:00 AM

Nah. We all know already that Anthony Stewart Head is the Master, working with the Krillitane as one of his many plots to destroy the Earth. :)

And me, I'd like to see a line of Firefly novels or comics picking up where the movie left off.

Posted by: Peter David at August 20, 2006 09:51 AM

"Last year, I ran across a Disney digest called COMIC ZONE, the contents of which included a "Pirates of the Caribbean" story with Capt. Jack Sparrow -- in which he MET the Scarecrow of Romney Marsh! The Scarecrow helped Jack escape the British once again."

Well, since "Pirates" is set in the late 1600s and the Scarecrow was operating around the time of the American revolution, I'm moved to ask whether the Scarecrow aided Jack's escape by having him jump into his time machine...

PAD

Posted by: A.J. Sherman at August 20, 2006 10:19 AM

I'd like to see Jessica Alba be unavailable for the next FF movie and have Heather Graham take her place. Sue Richards has always been the sexiest thing in the Marvel universe, so it only makes sense to have the sexiest actress play her (and a real blonde, too!)

I'd like to see, next time there's a crowd in a Marvel book that's shouting "Kill all the muties!" for someone to say "My kid is a mutant ... he has Down syndrome ... are you going to kill him, too?" and pull their little kid to the front of the crowd to put it in perspective. Maybe with a little follow-up dialogue that point out that anyone with a genetic based disease is technically a mutant.

I'd like to see someone point out in public that if George Bush really thought that Saddam had WMD ready to use and was crazy enough to use them then it was LUNACY to send our troops in there to take them away from him. He would have wiped them all out with a few Sarin tipped missles and/or nukes...what would he have to lose? That's why we've NEVER, EVER, attacked the homeland of a country that we KNOW has WMD (as North Korea is demonstrating now). Ergo, of course, W knew there were no WMD.

And on the topic of homelands, I'd like to see the Department of Homeland Security renamed to the Department of Domestic Security. "Homeland Security" sounds too much like something Hitler or Stalin would come up with, and suggests a certain xenophobia on the part of the American people.

Posted by: greg cox at August 20, 2006 11:05 AM

Forget a remake. I just want Disney to FINALLY put out the original "Scarecrow of Romney Marsh" out on DVD, like they've been promising to for years.

Is there some sort of rights hassle or something?

Posted by: The StarWolf at August 20, 2006 11:27 AM

>And you'd think they would get a clue as to WHY nobody is GOING to the movies----

Endless streams of inferior remakes? Ear-busting volime on their sound systems? Idiots with cell phones? Shall I go on?

> Where the coyote catches the road runner...

There was one such. Unfortunately, it didn't quite turn out the way he was hoping for.

> Lensman ... with respect for the material.

It would require a PAD-like touch to explain some aspects. For example, have the Arisians state, early on that they'd have to actively suppress certain types of technologies among the races they're monitoring - computers, for example - so as to force the races to compensate for this lack by developping their mental skills to make up for it. It would be in keeping with their agenda, and the Eddorians wouldn't notice/care because the more primitive tech would make these potential slave races all the more easy to work with.

Shrub showing up on the Daily Show? About as likely as our Republican-style, homophobic Prime Minister showing up at an AIDS conference. Which, when Canada hosted a major international one recently, he deliberately avoided in spite of repeated invitations to give the opening address. Feh.

Posted by: Luke K. Walsh at August 20, 2006 12:45 PM

Jerry C. - thanks for the V info! The big three - Diana, Julie, Mike Donovan - and Willie (unless it's a "Nightmare on V Street"...) - written and directed by Johnson, the man behind the original? Would be sweet. This is how sequels to properties SHOULD be done.

A.J. Sherman wrote "I'd like to see Jessica Alba be unavailable for the next FF movie and have Heather Graham take her place. Sue Richards has always been the sexiest thing in the Marvel universe, so it only makes sense to have the sexiest actress play her (and a real blonde, too!)"

All for Heather Graham in general, and for a blonde playing a blonde - along those same lines: no offense to Kirsten Dunst, who is very good, but I think that Alicia Witt, natural redhead who was in the running for the role, would've been a great Mary Jane. But, regarding the sexiness of the Invisible Woman - personally, I've always seen her as part of the "older" generation, just as I've thought of Superman/Batman/Wonder Woman/Captain America - no matter what I've later found out their ages are supposed to be. Even though I know Reed is supposed to be older - and even though age isn't an automatic deterrant to attractiveness, of course - she's one of those characters who's always just seemed "too old for me"; which helped make the shameless, shameless cheesecake costume of the earlyish nineties just seem embarassing.

Posted by: Lorin Heller at August 20, 2006 03:08 PM

I had a similar idea for a multi-Bond story as a film that could never possibly happen. Some friends of mine liked it and were encouraging me to write it as a script or fan fiction or something, and I never wanted to bother. But basically it was right after Pierce Brosnan came aboard, so a film trailer idea was that you'd have Brosnan's bond tied up in a chair with a standard interrogation light on him, and a voice from the shadows says, "Who are you?" Brosnan replies wearily, "Bond, James Bond". And the voice replies angrily, "No. You're not." Then stepping through the shadows, he says, "I am!" And it's Sean Connery. And it's exactly the way you guys have already described. James Bond is a code name with same history. (M and Moneypenny similarly have codenames, US and SPECTRE have their own versions of this, etc.) The one additional thing I have to add to the mix is that in my version only the original, Sean Connery, was actually able to retire. And the future Bonds aren't aware of the previous ones existence, because they're actually mind-programmed with the memories and historic profile of the other. Lazenby's Bond kills himself after the death of his wife, which is why they program future Bonds to not engage in long-term romantic relationships. They keep Moore's Bond on too long, and he gets killed on a mission post-View to a Kill, Dalton's Bond goes rogue like he did in License to Kill only the organization actually assasinates him for it. After that, Connery's Bond - who has secretly been keeping track of all this - decides he's had enough, and kidnaps and recruits Brosnan's Bond to deprogram him so they can team-up and take down the 007 program.

Posted by: travis at August 20, 2006 07:10 PM

Apologies... The Dr. Syn books have been republished for so many years, I get em mixed up.
Anyway, anyone who likes pulp fiction (not the movie) should check them out:

http://homepages.tesco.net/~davyo/drsynbooks.htm

They're a lot of fun, and personally, I'd like to catch a time machine and pit Solomon Kane vs. The Scarecrow...

Travis

Posted by: Sean Scullion at August 20, 2006 08:36 PM

Biggest problem with having Alicia Witt be MJ? We would've lost out on Peter's Interview With A Vampire allusion in the novel.

Posted by: Charlie Griefer at August 20, 2006 08:59 PM

well, not utterly pointless (not to me, at least) but...

1) a monthly PAD Hulk book. really. nobody should be allowed to write the Hulk except for PAD.

2) a monthly PAD Aquaman book. really. nobody should be allowed to write Aquaman except for PAD.

Posted by: John at August 21, 2006 09:11 AM

Unfortunately, someone less talented than Weird Al had the same idea:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cb6YZNlyaXw

Posted by: Mark Thorson at August 21, 2006 09:46 AM

"Forget a remake. I just want Disney to FINALLY put out the original "Scarecrow of Romney Marsh" out on DVD, like they've been promising to for years."


Seconded. I was really disappointed when it got pulled from the release list a couple years ago.

Posted by: Eric L. Sofer, the Silver Age Fogey at August 21, 2006 11:00 AM

Mr. David...

Oh, yes, the madness is a sweet, heady, wine...

Your comments inspired me to come up with my own little "Snakes on a Plane" ditty... and I thought I'd share it with the public. I hope you enjoy...

“Snakes on a Plane”
(to the tune of “Band on the Run” by Wings)

Stuck inside an airplane,
Sitting here in tourist…
Stewardesses running,
Screaming too…
“There’s snakes… captain...
Snakes!”

If I ever get of here,
If we make to O’Hare,
Gonna run to the nearest door,
Anything to get out of there!
If I ever get out of here…
(If we ever get out of here…)

Well the box exploded with a mighty crash,
And the snakes, they all got free,
And the pilot said to the radio guy,
“I hope they don’t bite me!”

Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
All the passengers,
And flight crew too,
All have a royal pain!
They’ve got snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane…

There were cobras, rattlers, mambas black and blue,
Constrictors here and there,
Ratters, boas, pythons, anacondas too,
Not a mongoose anywhere!

Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
All the passengers,
And flight crew too,
All have a royal pain!
They’ve got snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane…

All the movie makers went to Samuel L.,
He said, “What I make, they’ll see…
“I’ve done Jedi, gangsters, so now, what the hell...
Aero-herpetology!”

Snakes on a plane!
Snakes on a plane!
And producer man…
And actor Sam…
Will laugh forevermore,
At those “Snakes on a Plane”,
We saw “Snakes on a Plane”
We must all be insane,
Paid for “Snakes on a Plane!”

Posted by: Estelle C. at August 21, 2006 11:23 AM

"And no more crunching romantically connected celebrity names together, like Brangelina or Bennifer."

Three words: Filliam H. Muffman.

Posted by: spiderrob8 at August 21, 2006 01:08 PM

I'd like Song of the South to be on DVD in the US. Even if they have to give it one of those Leonard Maltin "I am sorry, it was a different time, now enjoy it" speeches before it.

I'd like to be able to judge it on its own merits.Certainly I am very fond of the animated parts, at least.

I am sure that the nonanimated parts are slow abd fairly boring, and I am sure I will notice a lot more racial insensitivty or even bigotry at this point. But I have some childhood fond memories of Uncle Remus as well, before this got put into Never NeverLand.

Posted by: Guido at August 21, 2006 02:29 PM

Not on the list, but something you still might appreciate:
http://dump.geenstijl.nl/mediabase/3102/def79c5e/index.html

Posted by: RJ Carter at August 21, 2006 02:45 PM

Sometimes you just can't wait for Weird Al (and I see I'm a post late! Nice one!)
================================

Stuck here with this ticket, can't believe I bought it,
Never seeing more films again like this, not like this, not like this.
Will I ever get out of here?
What a movie to see today
Feels like throwing six bucks away
Hasn't been a good flick since May
Will I ever get out of here?

Well the engine whined and with a mighty rush, we took off in the rain,
And the overhead bags sort of wriggled and sagged, and no one could explain.
Snakes on a plane. Snakes on a plane.
And Nurse Juliana and Actor Sam were cursing with disdain

Those damned snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, AGH! Snakes on a plane!

Well the ticket taker drew a heavy sigh seeing all those folks in pain
And reviews were stinging in the local news, but the net geeks still remained
Snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane
Tho the plot was tame, there in the name, The plot was very plain

It's those snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on plane, MOTHERF*N SNAKES ON A PLANE!!!

Well the jet was falling as the reptile world gave the passengers a strain
And the cabin crew was huddled up in front, while the pilot took to prayin'
Snakes on a plane, Snakes on a plane

And the cast and crew, knew what to do
They went laughing to the bank
From those snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane, snakes on a plane

Posted by: nathan at August 21, 2006 04:07 PM

First of all Peter, I'd Like to see you write the next Hulk movie.
Other than that, will somebody please put Eliza Dushku in a Marvel movie?
If Alba is not around for the next FF, I'd go for Jessica Biel or Mercedes McNab. Heather Graham wouldn't work unless they recast Reed. Not totally against that though

Posted by: Alan Coil at August 21, 2006 05:37 PM

AdamYJ says: "3) I'd like to see someone write an "all-ages" comic that involves dinosaurs to a large extent. I mean, why hasn't anyone else thought of that."

Devil Dinosaur.

Posted by: Alan Coil at August 21, 2006 05:43 PM

James Lynch says: "4) More high-quality superhero porn. (Be honest: You want to see this too. Especially if you were, um, "excited" at the prospect of seeing Jessica Alba as the Invisible Woman.)"

It's the Invisible Woman. There would be only her husband Reed for us to see.

Posted by: Alan Coil at August 21, 2006 05:57 PM

Movie scenes I'd like to see---

Charisma Carpenter and me in a naked sex scene.
Jennifer Connelly and me in a naked sex scene.
Marisa Tomei and me in a naked sex scene.
Emma Thompson and me in a naked sex scene.

Movie scenes the rest of the world is thankful they've never seen---

Charisma Carpenter and me in a naked sex scene.
Jennifer Connelly and me in a naked sex scene.
Marisa Tomei and me in a naked sex scene.
Emma Thompson and me in a naked sex scene.

Or---just me, naked.
.

Posted by: John Seavey at August 21, 2006 07:53 PM

"I'd like to see, next time there's a crowd in a Marvel book that's shouting "Kill all the muties!" for someone to say "My kid is a mutant ... he has Down syndrome ... are you going to kill him, too?" and pull their little kid to the front of the crowd to put it in perspective. Maybe with a little follow-up dialogue that point out that anyone with a genetic based disease is technically a mutant."

Actually, they're technically not, for the most part--they inherited the genes for that disease, they just weren't expressed in the previous generation (or they didn't express themselves until after the parent had already reproduced, as in Alzheimer's.) A "mutant" is someone who has experienced a transcription error in their DNA, which isn't the case for most genetic diseases.

You could, though, make a convincing argument that yes, by Marvel's standards, people who are born with Down syndrome are, in fact, mutants. But I think that it'd be hard to pull off such a scene in a sensitive and sympathetic manner. (It's like playing a symphony on a piano that's been booby-trapped with dynamite...one wrong move, and you'll never hear the end of it.)

Posted by: Jerome Maida at August 21, 2006 11:31 PM

The Bond idea is awesome. Wish they'd do it.
Would also like to see:

a.) A "Deep Space Nine" movie
b.) An "Angel" movie
c.) Eliza Dushku as "Elektra"
d.) Catherine Zeta-Jones as Wonder Woman
e.) Lynda Carter as Hippolyta
f.) PAD writing a Hulk screenplay
g.) Geoff Johns writing a "Green Lantern" screenplay
h.) Barbi Benton (or out) of anything

Posted by: Steve Chung at August 22, 2006 02:05 AM

A Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. set in the early 1960's and based on the Stan Lee/John Severin run in Strange Tales. The movie would deal with the formation of the agency and its early battle with Hydra.

The sequel would be based on the Steranko period and have the Yellow Claw or Baron Strucker as the villain.

Posted by: Rex Hondo at August 22, 2006 04:43 AM

I would like to see...

...the the Joker NOT be killed off at the end of the next Batman movie.

...A Superman movie with somebody OTHER than Lex Luthor as the primary villain.

...A live action World's Finest with the current actors.

-Rex Hondo-

Posted by: Micha at August 22, 2006 06:37 AM

Isn't it time somebody promoted Captain Picard?

I wasn't really sure about this whole multiple Bonds idea. But I like the above proposal. In any case, having a movie with Connry exploring the whole idea and persona of Bond would be interesting. Bond is a very underdeveloped character. The formula has worked for years reasonably well, but Lorin's ideas open up some interesting posibilities.

Posted by: Keith Holt at August 22, 2006 10:31 AM

I've always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can't help but believe he could really do it justice.

Adrian Brody as The Shadow? hmmmmm. I'll have to think about that one. I will say that he's right for it physically (he's got the nose and the build, but he needs to come across as physically stronger) and he's certainly got the acting chops, but I've yet to see him pull off the "wealthy, young man-about-town" persona. I'm not opposed to it. Just need to think about it.

Posted by: Travis at August 22, 2006 02:22 PM

I've always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can't help but believe he could really do it justice.

Hmm... Liam Neeson... Not a bad choice. As long as it isn't Andrew Vosloo.
How about Tim Roth or Nick Cage for Solomon Kane?
Not that he's a well known character, but between him and Dark Agnes, their my favorite REH characters.

-T

Posted by: Travis at August 22, 2006 02:24 PM

err... make that they're my favorite REH characters.

And I wanted to be an editor... sheesh.

-T

Posted by: Steve Chung at August 22, 2006 03:04 PM

A sequel to "The Saint" where Val Kilmer is taken aside and told by Roger Moore that he's no Simon Templar.

Posted by: Peter David at August 22, 2006 04:00 PM

"I've always felt Liam Neeson should play Dr. Syn / The Scarecrow. Rush had never occurred to me. Of course, since Geoffrey Rush can play just about anyone/thing I can't help but believe he could really do it justice."

Neeson could do it if you want to go for classically handsome hero. The reason I like Rush is that he can come across as so calm and mannered. But then he can crank it up. The thing that sold me on him for the Scarecrow was listening to his laugh as Barbossa.

PAD

Posted by: Don Hilliard at August 22, 2006 11:11 PM

>>>Well, since "Pirates" is set in the late 1600s and the Scarecrow was operating around the time of the American revolution, I'm moved to ask whether the Scarecrow aided Jack's escape by having him jump into his time machine...(PAD)

Peter, you've gone a bit too far at both ends of the timeline. The time period is never specified for "Pirates", but most of the costuming and tech ranges from early-to-mid-1700s. (For example, the tall ship Lady Washington, which plays the Interceptor, is a replica of the 1750-built ship of the same name).

And "Scarecrow" - at least the Disney version - is specified as 1736, about 40 years before the Revolution...and right in the time period that "Pirates" would seem to be taking place in.

Haven't read the fan story in question, but it would seem to work, no time machine required.

Cheers!
Don Hilliard

Posted by: Rex Hondo at August 23, 2006 05:14 AM

Well, considering the news I just read, I'd like to see Stargate: SG1 go out with a bang, but with some dignity.

-Rex Hondo-

Posted by: Keith Holt at August 23, 2006 10:40 AM

>>A sequel to "The Saint" where Val Kilmer is taken aside and told by Roger Moore that he's no Simon Templar.

In a related (but not really) aside, I had a friend who used to have the theory that "James Bond" had evolved into a code name for whoever had the 007 number. After the real bond (Connery) retired, they took another agent (Lazenby) and gave him the name and number. Of course, he royally screwed things up by getting married and then losing his wife, so they fired him and coaxed Bond back for one more adventure.

When he retired again, the agency realized their mistake and brought in someone with more experience to take his place. Enter Simon Templar (Moore) as the new Bond. Then, years later when Templar retired, they tried to get Remington Steele (Brosnan) to take up the mantle, but that didn't work out.

The whole theory sort of falls apart after that, but only because we couldn't think of a reason why British Intelligence would have recruited Prince Barin (Dalton) before going back to Steele years later.

Keith Holt

Posted by: Jerry C at August 23, 2006 11:44 AM

That's because they wouldn't have recruited Prince Barin. However, they might very well have taken a chance and recruited Charles Lord (Permission to Kill) for his skills. It would also help explain the more rogue-like nature of his Bond and why he went *blip* so fast.

Hope that helps the theory get back on track.

Posted by: indestructibleman at August 23, 2006 04:10 PM

i'd like to see Peter Weller as Mr. Freeze

Posted by: Tim Lynch at August 23, 2006 08:21 PM

The heck with Peter Weller as Freeze ... I'd like to see Weller as Batman! (At least, the Weller of about 15 years ago.)

TWL

Posted by: Jerry Seward at August 23, 2006 09:29 PM

I'd like to go back in time and make the SPIDER-MAN movie with a teen-aged Peter Weller as Peter Parker.

As for the Bond theory about him being different people, isn't this the theory that Robert Ludlum adopted for his Bourne novels, that it was a code name and a whole history? Same initials even....

Posted by: Jerry C at August 23, 2006 11:22 PM

EasterEggs - The DVD

One per year with all the years eastereggs on it. Just because I get so tired of looking for the ones that turn out to be crap.

:)

Posted by: Rex Hondo at August 24, 2006 12:38 AM

All this Bond talk in the "Things we'd like to see" thread reminded me of something I've been wanting to see for a long time, but most likely never will. If done properly, I've always thought that a Bond/Batman crossover would be great.

SPECTRE starts up an operation in Gotham, and Bond is sent in to take it down. MI6 investigates various Gothamites, finds suspicious Wayne financial records going back many years and comes to the wrong conclusion. Bond and Wayne meet at the sort of social event they both frequent, and each realizes that the other is more than they claim to be. Etcetera...
Just make sure there's a Batmobile vs. Bondmobile car chase and some gadget vs gadget action before they realize they're on the same side (probably when Bond finds the Batcave) and you've got a 4-part mini easily.

-Rex Hondo-

Posted by: AdamYJ at August 26, 2006 10:26 PM

Alan Coil says: "Devil Dinosaur."

Okay, true enough. I now realize how vague I was being. There have probably been dinosaurs in comics as much as there have been gorillas in comics dating back to the '60s (oh, DC and those crazy gorillas).

However, I was thinking about the sorts of comics we've been getting now for the range of ages that includes kids and have been noticing there seems to be a fair number of fantasy titles and some superhero titles, but I thought that it would be nice if there were something out there along the lines of "Land of the Lost" only moving past the simplictity of "there's a T-Rex. There's a duckbill dinosaur." regarding the fauna (lets see creatures ranging from Carnotaurus to Baryonx to Garudimimus to Monoclonius and beyond). I've got an inkling of an idea for such a story, myself.

Posted by: justin at August 27, 2006 09:44 AM

7) I'd like to see Jack Black playing Blackjack.

kind of nice to be able to give something back to peter david.

http://tsoya.blogspot.com/2006/08/jack-black-blackjack.html

Posted by: Craig J. Ries at August 28, 2006 03:24 AM

Bladestar -
Bond is a Gallfreyan?

The spelling would be Gallifreyan, but I think the notion would be more that James Bond is a Time Lord.

Time Lords are Gallifreyans, but not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords. Although, I don't believe to this day we've gotten an explanation for how a Gallifreyan becomes a Time Lord. Or whether all Gallifreyans have the ability to regenerate, or just Time Lords.

It's quite a mess, isn't it? :)

Posted by: Sean Scullion at August 28, 2006 08:49 AM

Adam, the only problem with having monoclonius in a book is people would only get it once, and they'd spend such a long time getting over it that they wouldn't want to read it again.