PeterDavid.net

I thought John Stewart bombed in his opening monologue (he looked really uncomfortable, and most of his jokes fell flat) but I have to admit he got better, and funnier, as the night wore on. I still think there's nobody better than Billy Crystal, though.

The editor of Roger Ebert's web site suggested George Clooney as an Oscar host, and I think that's a great idea. I used to hate him, but my respect for him has grown tremendously this past year, and tonight he gave the best Oscar speech I've ever heard. No maudlin excess or self-indulgent "thank yous," just a humble, intelligent, concise, and sincere acknowledgment.

PAD posted:
(I'm sorry, I still can't take "Brokeback Mountain" seriously ever since Eric Cartman dismissed all indy movies as being about "gay cowboys eating pudding")

PAD, take it from me: There's not a single incident of any "eating pudding" in Brokeback.
I'm also incredibly disheartened by your inability to take something seriously because of Eric Cartman. In your own way (with regards to Brokeback, you're as bad as Dubya.
Watch the movie before you write it off so flippantly.
It has been a while but as I seem to recall, when people discussed not picking up "Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man" because of the asinine crossover "event", you seemed quite adamant that people actually pick up the book and read it before writing it off. Nice to know you let a fictional character decide what films are worthy of seeing.
Just for the record, not all indie films have anything to do with 1)gays, 2)cowboys, or 3)eating pudding. Eric Cartman wouldn't know that, but I thought that YOU would.

(Sorry for the somewhat meanspiritedness of the post, but I've seen Brokeback nine times so far with each viewing being as emotionally affecting as the first was, and your comment just struck me as incredibly insensitive.)

I thought it was pretty dull. No surprises, nothing even to get upset about. I almost wish the pro-terrorist best foreign nominee had won just so we could have had at least one Angry Oscar Moment.

Stewart, after a rather low key opening, got better. You can tell now that his strength is not in reading off written jokes but improv. I suspect there will be talk that he bombed--most of his cracks came at the expense of Hollywood and except for a Dick Cheney joke so obvious my wife and I came up with it before the broadcast (which didn't stop it from getting his biggest laugh) there was insufficient Republican bashing for the LA crowd.

(I get the feeling they told him "For the love of God, it's bad enough we nominated movies nobody in Kansas has seen, don't piss them off any more.")

There was no flow to the show, no segues. And why was there music throughout the whole thing?

Ben Stiller's bit made me laugh out loud.

Strangely, it didn't seem as long as previous broadcasts.

I thought Stewart did fine, though not as well as I'd have liked. I agree that he improved as the night went on.

I wonder how the Stewart-related talk will vary between those who are Daily Show enthusiasts and those who aren't. I thought the funniest stuff was what reminded me of TDS -- the attack ads being high on the list, though comments like "imagine the difficulty of making Russell Crowe look like he was in a fight" were pretty good laugh lines as well. Sorry, Bill -- Stiller's bit didn't grab me at all. (I chuckled for about the first second.)

The biggest award I actually cared about was the very first one -- I'm sorry Jake Gyllenhaal didn't win, but Clooney gave a fantastic speech. When the time comes, I agree -- he'd probably make a perfectly decent Oscar host as well.

And Bill -- what, no comment on his crack that for much of the audience, this was the first time they'd be voting for a winner? You're slipping. :-)

My biggest complaint -- the end. So far as I can tell, they just got the best-picture acceptance speeches off mid-word. Rude, rude, rude ... particularly since the winner WAS so unexpected, I suspect a lot of people watching were really curious as to what was going to be said.

TWL

For us at the Riggs Residence, the Oscars were surprisingly bland. That said, even though Stewart was less than impressive to us, I'd still like to see him back next year.

The Oscars are a Joke, and all the films that they nominated were among the worst Hollywood has turned out in decades.

Other notes:

What was up with Naomi Watts' dress? Looked like Kong picked her up and shook her like a British Nanny.

Why did they have the Chicken Little guys come out? That joke is getting old (though if Harryhausen's Cyclops and Gorgon presented I'd mark out like a madman.)

A tribute to biopics...?

Why wasn't GRIZZLY MAN nominated for best doc?

Why wasn't SITH nominated for SPFX?

Rachel Weisz = Hottest Pregnant Woman Ever

Lauren Bacall...if they are going to put an aging legend up there at least give them a teleprompter with extra big type. Give her a break.

Now a noir montage...oh well, great films. Damn, Rita Hayworth was beautiful...

Zhang Ziyi...hootah...Oh I get it now. They are piling on the beautiful women to up the heterosexual viewership. Well, ok then...

A montage of Issue Movies...and they show The Day After Tomorrow??? At least they got in a FEMA joke, but really...Stewart's line was a killer ("And none of those issues were ever problems again.") but kind of cut the legs out from the whole montage.

I don't think the crowd was digging Stewart but I was. Of course, I liked Letterman and Rock too.

What was with all the pleas to go to theaters? Yeah, stop showing commercials and allow me to kill people with cell phones and we'll talk.

Itzak Perlman = Class

"Oscars' salute to montages... we have no more clips." HA!

Tomlin and Streep...funny bit for 15 seconds, seemed to last about 5 minutes.

It's Hard Being A Pimp...man, this was a lean year for good songs. But it IS hard being a pimp, what with all them bitches and they backtalk. If this one wins...

AND IT DOES! The Wife falls off the couch. I laugh and laugh...

I feel bad for the dead people who don't get applause. Where was James Doohan?

That is all.

Why wasn't SITH nominated for SPFX?

And why WAS it nominated for makeup? Okay, for some of the characters ... but Palpatine, who was the example they used? His Emperorship looked like a Dick Tracy villain, and not in a good way.

I'm glad Narnia picked up something -- it was most deserving.

Lauren Bacall...if they are going to put an aging legend up there at least give them a teleprompter with extra big type. Give her a break.

Agreed. She handled it well, though.

Where was James Doohan?

Ooh, really good call (on your part -- lousy call on theirs). I can excuse Andreas Katsulas, Don Knotts and Darren McGavin -- maybe they were too recent to make the list -- but Doohan?

And I thought Stewart riffed quite nicely after the Best Song award.

TWL

I'm thinking James Doohan wasn't shown in the montage because he wasn't considered a movie actor, but a television star. Of course that ignores all the Star Trek movies he appeared in.

Best song of the year hands-down was "So Long and Thanks for All the Fish" from Hitchhiker. I guess comedy doesn't get respect in the song category either.

Stewart was OK at best. After Three-6 Mafia won the Oscar, the town of Hollywood called an emergency meeting for trash collectors due to the extra weight of all the Oscars being tossed out as worthless.

(I get the feeling they told him "For the love of God, it's bad enough we nominated movies nobody in Kansas has seen, don't piss them off any more.")

That assumes that they care what people in Kansas think.

I didn't watch the Oscars. And that's pretty much all I have to say about it.

JosephW - calm down. Take a breath. I'm happy that your life has been so positively impacted by this movie, but when they announced Brokeback Mountain well after Eric Cartman made his "gay cowboys eating pudding" line, some of us just can't look at the film without laughing. Deal with it, ok?

As for the show itself...

Frank Gorshin was also absent from the montage of the dead.

Speaking of the death montage, I notice that this time they didn't ask for the audience to hold their applause until the end. They finally realized that it just isn't going to happen.

What about that attack on the DVD market? A major case of biting the hand that feeds, as many films are released straight to DVD, and others find a new following upon home release that they never would have had in the theater. Overall, I think it was more of an attack on Mark Cuban's idea to release a movie on DVD on the same day it's released to the theater. While I believe that SFX-fests like Star Wars, Narnia, King Kong, etc., should really be experienced on the big screen, I also believe that tickets are too expensive, food is too expensive, and theater owners / employees are too scared to throw people out for disrupting the movie experience for the other patrons. So maybe the head of the Academy should have been up there telling theaters to get their crap in order instead of attacking the DVD market.

Lauren Bacall...if they are going to put an aging legend up there at least give them a teleprompter with extra big type. Give her a break.

I'm no doctor, but I think there might be more going on than just that she couldn't read the teleprompter. He speech was halting, yeah, but her hands also seemed to be slightly but constantly twitching. Makes me wonder if she might be in the early stages of Parkinson's disease or something...

I can excuse Andreas Katsulas, Don Knotts and Darren McGavin -- maybe they were too recent to make the list -- but Doohan?

For what it's worth, I came across a poting on Mark Evanier's blog at http://www.newsfromme.com/archives/2006_03_06.html#011093 claiming that 1 February deadline for the "In Memoriam" piece. So that'd explain the absence of Knotts, Katsulas, Darrin McGavin, Jack Wild, and other such recent passings. (Doesn't explain Gorshin or Doohan, of course...)

Hanks was feigning anger at Stewart, playing along with the earlier “Playing off the winner” bit where they smashed a viola over his head.

Stiller’s bit reminded me of something similar Steve Martin did back in the 70s when presenting the Visual Effects Oscar. Still, Stiller’s spin made it seem like a bit from his old Fox sketch series.

Re: Ben Stiller

I think it's pretty simple, really: he's just not that funny.

Re: In Memoriam

They should've included Doohan & Gorshin. There's no excuse to exclude people just because they mostly did tv, especially when Doohan and Gorshin are so well known. Insulting.

Re: Best Song

Worst year for best song ever. They couldn't have at least nominated 5 songs? Maybe it was just another ploy to shorten the telecast. Not to mention it comes off as a ploy to attract the MTV crowd.

Re: Cutting off the speeches at the end of the show

If people are still actually awake and watching for the Best Picture speeches, then, they're the ones that don't care if they go on a few extra minutes. That, and the constant jokes about how much time winners get to give their speeches are really making the Academy look bad.

Re: Opening

I liked the opening skit, showing the other recent hosts refusing to do it and so forth before introducing Stewart.

Re: Jon Stewart

I thought he came out flat, and got a lot better as the show went on. On the whole, the political slant was pretty balanced; I think he actually had more jokes poking fun at liberals than The Other Side.

"Sorry for the somewhat meanspiritedness of the post, but I've seen Brokeback nine times so far with each viewing being as emotionally affecting as the first was, and your comment just struck me as incredibly insensitive."

It was: That's because it was a joke. Many jokes are incredibly insensitive. If you think it wasn't funny, that's fine, but a 150 word lecture on why you think it wasn't funny doesn't especially make me think anything other than that you took a joke waaaaay too seriously.

As for other comments: Need I remind you guys that Johnny Carson's monologues--both on the Oscar and on the Tonight Show--were not his strong suit. In fact, he was usually at his best when he was bombing, which was typically about half the time.

Stewart's strength is NOT reciting lines, as his lampooning of his own acting career indicates. Stewart's strength is his reactions to other things, and his laser-fine timing in those reactions. Think about it: On "The Daily Show" the biggest laughs he gets are his mute responses to some insanely stupid news clip, so that when he finally makes a comment, it gets a much bigger reaction because the audience is so primed. To hold up another fine comic mind in comparison: What makes Jack Benny's response of "I'm thinking, I'm thinking!" so hysterical in response to a robber's ultimatum of "Your money or your life!" isn't the line; it's the build up of the interminable silence before the annoyed robber finally blurts out, "Well?!?"

If Stewart's smart, next time he hosts, if the monologue is going slow, he has Bill Conti strike up "Tea for Two" and he starts doing a soft shoe. The audience will love him for it.

And Bill...honestly...your typical lack of comprehension of Liberal sensibilities is bad enough, but now you're complaining that the audience is going to be upset because he didn't make snarky comments aimed at the GOP? You really, really don't get it. Any comic will tell you that you make fun of the elephant in the room; in this case, it's the pretentously liberal bent of Hollywood, punctured with the brilliant "This is the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner." These are showbusiness people. They'll get that Stewart simply didn't bother with the easy "make fun of the other guy" route because it would have been easy and irrelevant. They'll understand...unlike, y'know...you.

PAD

"Third was his wry observation: "For those of you at home keeping score, that's Martin Scorsese, Zero Oscars; Three-6 Mafia, One.""

That line made me laugh too. I think he did a fine job. (I also loved his comments towards Itzhak Pearlman, who btw, blew me away once again with his talent.

"The Three-6 Mafia might have to "get into it" with Itzhak Perlman's "posse."" ~Stewart

Too Funny!)

I too noticed the typical self-importantness of that set with the down with dvd's thing and praising of how revelant the nominated movies were this year. I found myself rolling my eyes through most of it.

Actually...in all fairness, there were times when the crowd seemed unsure if they should laugh or be hurt. There are those in Hollywood that cannot seem to take jokes at their expense (Look at the mixed responses from the movie Team America... some, such as Clooney and Matt Damon got a laugh. Others, such as Sean Penn got sanctimonious and whined). And I saw faces in the crowds during the opening monologue with expressions that came off as fake smiles. Others seemed to genuinely be enjoying the show.

I thought Stewart did fine. I got the laughs I needed, and I was surprised, and kind of pleased that the Best Picture winner actually NOT the picture 99% of people were predicting.

I insist that the fact that I went 13-for-24 in my predictions doesn't suggest that my logic or understanding is faulty: it was the voters who failed to get with the program. What a buncha ingrates.

My ongoing Oscar commentary is available through the same URL.

Jon Stewart gets a B or a B+. If just before the show he'd slugged back a few shots of whatever it is that boosts your confidence by 10%, he'd have raised his grade to a B+ or A-. As-is, this is sort of a point supporting the "The Oscars should be hosted by a movie guy" school of thought.

Regarding the length of the Oscarcast, IMHO the Super Bowl should last about 25 minutes and any pro bowling event should be compressed to a 30 second -- not sixty, thirty -- clip on "Sportscenter." The point is that any complaint about the length of the Oscars is a statement that "I, personally, am not all that interested in the show" and not really a statement about the Oscars.

It's just once a year, after all...

Worst year for best song ever. They couldn't have at least nominated 5 songs? Maybe it was just another ploy to shorten the telecast. Not to mention it comes off as a ploy to attract the MTV crowd.

Here's the thing. Can you name any other original songs from 2005 movies that should've been nominated that weren't?

I can't (not that that means much) but it strikes me as very possible that there just weren't 5 nomination-worthy original songs this year. And if that's basically true, then I'd certainly rather have the Oscars only nominate what's worth nominating rather than hold them to some sort of 5-nomination quota or something...

I go to the movies at least once a week, and I, too, haven't seen any of the best picture candidates. During the past few weeks, I've seen:

16 Blocks
Freedomland
The Pink Panther
Firewall
Roving Mars (IMAX)
The Matador

I did almost see Munich, but my wife wasn't interested.

Regarding Tom Hanks on the Oscars -- He sure did seem distracted/miffed about something.

I missed the first 45 minutes or so of the Academy Awards, but of what I did see, Jon Stewart seemed to hold his own pretty well. But Clooney isn't a bad choice as a host if Stewart isn't interested next year.

And Bill...honestly...your typical lack of comprehension of Liberal sensibilities is bad enough, but now you're complaining that the audience is going to be upset because he didn't make snarky comments aimed at the GOP? You really, really don't get it. Any comic will tell you that you make fun of the elephant in the room; in this case, it's the pretentously liberal bent of Hollywood, punctured with the brilliant "This is the first time many of you have ever voted for a winner." These are showbusiness people. They'll get that Stewart simply didn't bother with the easy "make fun of the other guy" route because it would have been easy and irrelevant. They'll understand...unlike, y'know...you.

Wow. I must really have a knack for pissing off people unintentionally. First off, I would not equate "the LA crowd" (my words) with "Liberal sensibilities" (yours). I have more respect for Liberals than that, despite my comprehension deficiancies.

As for whether my speculation that some will say he bombed and critisize his lack of proper political snark--as has been common among previous hosts ("Lorena Bobbitt, *please* meet Bob Dole!" --Whoopi Goldberg), I don't think it will be too hard to find something to back that up.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060306/tv_nm/oscars_reviews_dc_2

MSNBC contributor Andy Dehnart predicted that Stewart would end up ranked alongside last year's host Chris Rock and 1995's emcee David Letterman as a flop, based on what Dehnart perceived as a lukewarm reception from the audience of movie stars and studio executives in the Kodak Theater.

Dehnart wrote that Stewart "did an admirable job" but "the audience didn't seem to like him."

Hmm, close but he doesn't say WHY he thinks that's the case.

Tom Shales said that the ONLY funny joke Stewart said was the Dick Cheney one. I'm getting closer.

http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/
Even his sharp political humor, what little there was of it, was dull. He slammed the Democrats twice, and told only one Cheney joke. (That got his biggest laugh.) He didn’t lay a glove on Bush, and what’s up with that? Isn’t that why we tuned in, to see Mr. Liberal get himself in trouble with the Red State Right? Then he sets up what starts out like a winner, noting how “a lot of people say this town is too liberal…out of touch with Mainstream America…a moral black hole where innocence is obliterated in an orgy of sexual gratification and greed…” But then he ends with, “I don’t really have a joke here.”

Why not, for chrissakes? Didn’t this gig pay you to write punch lines?

This from a writer so far to the left he thinks that Brokeback Mountain losing is evidence of some grand Hollywood anti-gay conspiracy.

Now you can say he's wrong and I'd agree. I liked Stewart. I thought his anti-piracy joke was hysterical but I don't think it got a big laugh from the folks he he was mocking.

I hope enough people enjoyed him to ask him back. Contrary to what you want to believe, I really do get what makes him funny which is why I was laughing. More than the audience, I thought.

Some observations;

I loved that Stephen Colbert did the voice-overs for the attack ads.

The fact that the audience didn't laugh at some lines that were actually quite funny, only reemphasizes what Sean Penn taught us last year; Hollywood takes itself WAY too seriously. Whoever hosts next year (and I hope it is Jon Stewart) will have to keep that in mind, and steer away from jokes that poke fun at the audience themselves.

Jon Stewart's 'I don't really have a joke here' is something he does on occasion on The Daily Show. That IS the joke.

It seemed to me that the audience wasn't on his side for a good part of the opening.

And if that's basically true, then I'd certainly rather have the Oscars only nominate what's worth nominating rather than hold them to some sort of 5-nomination quota or something...

Well, that's why I said it was worst year ever, becuase I don't think any of the songs that were nominated were deserving of a nomination. :)

And to follow up on what Bill said: the notion that the Oscars should insult the Right, just because Hollywood is liberal, is pretty damn stupid. I don't see the Oscars hoping to see the liberal version of Ann Coulter hosting, and I don't know why anyone else would either.

Keep in mind I don't think the host SHOULD do political jokes. Supposedly the Awards show is a big international event; why would they care or even know about what's happening here? One would hope that a Lorena Bobbit joke would sail over the heads of most of the world. But most hosts keep right on doing them.

The more I read the complaints against Stewart, the more I'm coming to like him. The rating were low but of course this is in no way his fault.

Matt, I think you're on the right track with Hollywood taking itself way to seriously. If it's one thing they hate, it's when a comedian makes fun of them (See: Tom Cruise's lawsuit against South Park).

But I'm just guessing since, as I said, I didn't watch it.

As for whether Stewart should have been more political: I think the last Oscars telecast that I watched the whole way through was the one from about ten years or so ago when the show was blasted because just about every presenter and winner stumped for their favorite cause. The one that sticks out in my mind was when Richard Gere tried to use the audience to psychically channel a command to China's leaders to get them to pull out of Tibet.

I really don't care what the political opinions of actors and actresses are, because 90% of them are, quite frankly, stupid.

Stewart's basic schtick on the Daily Show is to point to something said by a politician or a pundit and basically let the audience see for itself how absurd they they. That's why his silent remarks work so well. Maybe transfering that kind of humor to Hollywood requires a level of self-deprecation that most of the galactic-sized egos in LaLaLand aren't capable of appreciating.

Bill, if you really want to get Peter riled up-- tell him "Tru Calling" sucked... But put some barbeque sauce on your ass first... 'Cause those FLAMES are hot!

Oh, Peter-- You were right. I was wrong. Overnight Oscar ratings are DOWN 10% percent. Just as you predicted, much lower ratings... As low-- if not lower-- when "Chicago" won for Best Picture.

Hmm. I guess I'm one of the few in the " Jon did OK" group. And I like the Daily Show, its just that I was actually expecting MORE from Jon. I think he could have been funnier. IMO, Chris Rock did a better job last year....and he wasn't all that great either.

I did like: The new opening showing lots of movie stars/fictional characters. The thing with asking everybody and then finally getting to Jon. lol. Chicken Little & the Ugly Duckling showing up. Funny. Like when the Oscars do that kind of thing. And actually I thought Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep were prob the funniest.

Not sure what people are talking about as far as Tom Hanks. He didn't seem upset to me...HMM.

AND I can not believe that that rap group won for best song. *SIGH* Personally I thought 'In the Deep' should of won. That was a good song. Heck, I'm not a Dolly Parton (sp?) fan but I'd have rather seen her win. Her song wasn't bad. I had to turn the channel though when that rap group came on with their "song". Just can't stand that STUFF. Overall though, pretty bad year for Oscar songs. I mean, come on, THREE songs?! I'm sure they could have found a few more....(heck, Elizebethtown had a good song that should have been nominated).

You know, when Will Smith came up on stage, we thought that he should have hosted the Oscars. I think he would do a really good job of it.

I like Jon, but he's really not an Oscar kind of guy, imo. Hopefully next year they'll get someone like Will Smith or maybe Robin Williams. Heck, Robin would be great. He'd keep everybody laughing! :)

IMO, best moment of the night though: CRASH WON! Excellent. Its actually the only one of the movies that I've seen and imo, its a great movie. IF you haven't seen it, I highly recommand it. VERY powerful film!

Overall though, the Oscars just were not that good this year...

DF2506
" I was also happy to see Reese win too. She was pretty happy too. lol. I haven't seen Walk the Line, but it looks like a really good movie! Suprised it didn't get nominated for best movie..."

Just a couple of thoughts:

Shame Carson is no longer with us. I would have loved his cameo in the intro clip.

I wonder how many people fully appreciate the joke of Bjork being shot by Cheney (namely, that when Bjork came to the Oscars, she came essentially wearing a swan).

I’m assuming they did the entire play music over the speech thing so that when they started blasting people off the stage with it, it wouldn’t seem too blatant.

George Clooney is an amazingly good sport.

The M. Night Shamylan AMEX commercial was spooky cool. Why wasn’t that shown during the SuperBowl?

The M. Night Shamylan AMEX commercial was spooky cool. Why wasn’t that shown during the SuperBowl?

Until they pointed out who it was, I had no idea what was going on and I'm a movie guy...and you think it would have gone over with a football crowd?

The M. Night Shamylan AMEX commercial was spooky cool. Why wasn’t that shown during the SuperBowl?

Until they pointed out who it was, I had no idea what was going on and I'm a movie guy...and you think it would have gone over with a football crowd?

Sure it would have, because it was cool.

"Tom Hanks coming out and sure looking pissed off about SOMEthing" Peter David (from the first post)

I think he was reacting to Jon's comment about Hanks letting them hit him over the head. I think he was making threats to Stewart as he walked to the podium.

He was ACTING!

BRILLIANT!

THANK YOU!
(the preceding was a ode to John Lovits, America's greatest ACTOR and Critic ;))

"Re: Ben Stiller

I think it's pretty simple, really: he's just not that funny."

I think it's a little more complicated than that: he's actually the least funny person in the world (with the possible exception of Will Ferrell), and he's an incredibly blah performer, but he desperately tries to be funny, which just makes him annoying and pathetic. Kind of like those people who audition for American Idol who can't sing but think they can.

My respect for Clooney grows every time he participates in things like this; besides being a good sport, he's got something of that old school charm to him.

I think you don't see actors (or actresses) being tapped for hosting because it doesn't seem quite to impartial that way, and also because they're known for reading lines, not for coming up with jokes on the spot. And you could definitely tell (well, okay, I could definitely tell) what was scripted and what was Stewart adlibbing (hint: he was always funnier when he was off the cue cards). The Oscars needs someone that can react to the winners and work it into the rest of the monologue during the show - I'm not certain an actor could do that. (Then again, if I were to nominate anyone I thought could, both Will Smith and Clooney would be at the top of thte list.)

For those of ya bitchin about the lack of political jokes, Stewart's been fielding comments to that since it was announced he'd be hosting. He said it wasn't The Daily Show, and it wasn't about politics. It was about making sure things ran smoothly and entertaining people without alienating anyone, including the large majority of overseas viewers.

I think he hit his stride with Three-6 Mafia's win, just for the absurdity of it all. ;) And that's where he does best - playing straight man to absurd situations.

It's sad, tho, when the best speech is given by the foreign film win. Says something about our own overly scripted celebrities.

I would've added "Willy Wonka's Theme" (from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) to the Original Song list, seeing as they were apparently hurting for nominees and all.

Although I don't buy that, since I only saw two films last year and was still able to come up with something.

-Dave O'Connell

It occurs to me: Didn't Stephen Colbert sweep the board with his predictions via The DaColbert Code?

And if so, how long will it be before he stops crowing about it? :)

"Jon Stewart's 'I don't really have a joke here' is something he does on occasion on The Daily Show. That IS the joke."

But... it wasn't funny. People keep talking about this Daily Show thing. I've never seen it, probaby never will, but evidently it's where Stewart belongs, and not at the Oscars.

"I had to turn the channel though when that rap group came on with their "song"."

I hate rap, too, and I'd probably be agreeing with you if I hadn't see Hustle & Flow, but I have to admit that the song (in the movie, not the Oscar performance) is really pretty catchy and works really well in the context of the film, and I think it deserved to win, if for no other reason than that everyone who sees the movie will remember the song (which can't be said for the other two nominees).

Bill, if you really want to get Peter riled up-- tell him "Tru Calling" sucked... But put some barbeque sauce on your ass first... 'Cause those FLAMES are hot!

You know, I've never actually seen an episode of Tru Calling...still waiting for the Trade.

"But... it wasn't funny."

Uh, yeah...it *was* funny. "No joke there...just thought you should know what people are saying..."

PAD,

For the record, the line Jack Benny said to the robber in the March 28, 1948 episode of his radio program was, "I'm thinking it over!"

The conversation goes as follows: after initially asking Jack for a light, the robber proceeds to tell him it's a stick up.

"Your money or your life."

loooooong pause.

"Look bud, I said your money or your life."

"I'm thinking it over!"

According to reports, writer John Tackaberry uttered the line, "I'm thinking it over" in response to writer Milt Josefberg's persistent calls for a good punchline for that scene. As soon as he said it, both realized they'd found the perfect response.

Rick

Not to detour this on a political stripe, but a few questions:

First off, I would not equate "the LA crowd" (my words) with "Liberal sensibilities" (yours).

Could you explain the difference in your mind between the two then? Given that you say that said LA crowd would be upset by insufficient Bush-bashing, it sure reads like you're at least somewhat equating the two. (I'm not pissed off here -- but since you said you think you're annoying people unintentionally, I figured I'd point out how it tends to happen.)

This from a writer so far to the left he thinks that Brokeback Mountain losing is evidence of some grand Hollywood anti-gay conspiracy.

Oh, there's no doubt that you can find SOMEONE who'll say he bombed due to insufficient political snarkage. (I'm not one of them, though.) I thought the original question was whether the in-house audience was going to feel that way, and so far as I can tell that's not really been verified one way or the other yet.

I think he could've been stronger than he was, but I'd also say he did a pretty good job for a first-timer. (I also think that you could tell VERY easily which bits were written by the usual Oscar team and which bits were written by Stewart's own people; I much preferred the latter.) I hope he's invited back, too.

TWL

On my blog I went 17 or 18 for 24 almost winning the Oscar Smackdown 2006 until I encountered the wrath of Ariel ^_^

I'm someone who actually HAS seen all of the Best Picture nominees (though I'd only seen CAPOTE and GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK before the nominees were announced and saw the rest BECAUSE they were announced) and was pleased that CRASH took the Best Picture award. I thought it was extremely well done and do recommend renting the DVD. I think I was rooting for it because, unlike BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, I found myself actually entertained by CRASH. BROKEBACK was trying to hard to impress with its subject matter AND give the impression it was an epic (sweeping shots of the mountains, etc). The main thing I'm afraid I remember about BROKEBACK was that I got to see Anne Hathaway (the Princess in both PRINCESS DIARIES, Ella in ELLA ENCHANTED, and the voice of Red in HOODWINKED) topless.

"The main thing I'm afraid I remember about BROKEBACK was that I got to see Anne Hathaway (the Princess in both PRINCESS DIARIES, Ella in ELLA ENCHANTED, and the voice of Red in HOODWINKED) topless."

What's weird is that that isn't even in the film. What Kim isn't mentioning is that he was in the theater and suddenly Anne Hathaway showed up, took off her shirt, waved her breasts at him while saying, "Get a load of THESE golden globes!" and then walked out.

I heard she does that a lot.

PAD

"
"The main thing I'm afraid I remember about BROKEBACK was that I got to see Anne Hathaway (the Princess in both PRINCESS DIARIES, Ella in ELLA ENCHANTED, and the voice of Red in HOODWINKED) topless."

What's weird is that that isn't even in the film. What Kim isn't mentioning is that he was in the theater and suddenly Anne Hathaway showed up, took off her shirt, waved her breasts at him while saying, "Get a load of THESE golden globes!" and then walked out."

Man....do I go to the wrong theaters or what....

Tru Calling was a TV show, not a comic, starring the delicious Elizha Dushku (or however it's spelled)

But Rick, the line by itself is merely funny. What made it hilarious was that Jack knew exactly when to deliver it. Sometimes the silence is funnier than the line...

Bladestar, I think you missed the subtlety of Bill's comment about Tru Calling. Remember, some folks blame DC's abandonment of Fallen Angle on people waiting for the trade! :-)

Of course, you could blame it on folks who asked for the title while afflicted with temporary dyslexia - that should have been Fallen Angel...

Tim, I see very little connection between the "liberals" of Hollywood and real liberals, people like yourself. There's an incredible amount of do as I say, not as I do quality to many of them--it's what keeps the tabloids knee deep in stories.

For starters, it's hard to imagine someone who has a true liberal sensibility wanting to wallow in extravagant excess to a degree that would shame Diamond Jim Brady, but we have become used to stories of multi million dollar weddings for marriages that last for less time than the average American is engaged. Or Bar Mitzvahs and confirmations that involve hiring rock bands or homes that have more rooms than I have family members or...

I don't begrudge them their excess. The market says they are worth what they get, after all. But I'll bet most of them think CEOs get paid way too much (because running a company is less important than pretending to be someone else).

Despite what some might think, probably most of my favorite people in my personal life are liberal. They treat other people with far more decency than the majority of Hollywood types I've run into. (And I'm not just talking actors here.). I have a hell of a lot more respect for someone who lobbies their local government for social activism than I do for a Big Name who goes on TV to complain about how their voice is being muzzled, flies in private jets while scorning SUVs, and urges we all adopt the Kyoto agreement while maintaining her fur collection in an air conditioned apartment.

Hollywood liberal is actually an insult to liberals. They are spoiled rich people who donate to the Democratic Party, as opposed to the spoiled rich people who donate to the Republican party. Neither one represents much in the way of deep thought on the issues.

I still think that if Stewart had thrown more jabs at Bush (or any, actually) he would have had more laughs and applause from the crowd. We will never know, of course. Personally, I thought he did the right thing by keeping the point of his humor aimed squarely at Hollywood. I think where PAD disagrees with me is that I thought the crowd wasn't as into his jokes as I was. He apparently thinks that the show business people appreciated his humor. My perception, echoed by some, was that they were quite subdued during the monologue. I wasn't there, of course, so maybe he killed and the peals of laughter just didn't get picked up.

I should add, since I don't like generalizations when others do it, that there are indeed people in show business of all political persuasions who are in fact deeply committed to their causes and a credit to them. I suspect many of them are not the ones who make the most noise, judging from my observations of people in other walks of life.

"What's weird is that that isn't even in the film. What Kim isn't mentioning is that he was in the theater and suddenly Anne Hathaway showed up, took off her shirt, waved her breasts at him while saying, "Get a load of THESE golden globes!" and then walked out.

I heard she does that a lot.

PAD"

The "best Anne Hathaway Golden Globes film" (at least so far) has got to be "Havoc". (Available at Amazon for $13 and change.)

Note I am not stating that "Havoc" is a great film-- just a great film to see Anne Hathaway's breasts.

I thought it was very funny, and I enjoyed Clooney's role in the evening, as well. I could absolutely see him as a Jack Nicholson-type at the show ... can you believe it was his first time there?

Peter wrote: "What's weird is that that isn't even in the film. What Kim isn't mentioning is that he was in the theater and suddenly Anne Hathaway showed up, took off her shirt, waved her breasts at him while saying, "Get a load of THESE golden globes!" and then walked out."

And, since she wasn't there anymore for me to hurt her feelings, I said to myself "She must be a flat-earther."

The songs from CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY weren't eligible as the lyrics originally were written by Dahl for the book.

Jon Stewart is getting way worse press than I'd expected. Shales royally reamed him, but Shales has never struck me as a guy that knows the funny. Maureen Ryan of the Chicago Tribune was equally brutal I'm just stunned at how badly Jon Stewart's opening monologue went. I didn't realize it was possible to insult the audience more than Chris Rock did. Stewart seemed to be aiming his material at the folks at home, which is probably why the audience in the room with him seemed to be shooting him death rays with their eyes. They just hated his jokes. And you have to admit, insulting your hosts, repeatedly, and saying what they do is "out of touch" is not the best possible move. "I'm going to be pummeled later this evening," he joked at one point. Yeah, I'd pretty much count on that. Oh well. I hope Jon enjoyed this gig. It'll be his last.

Jeeze. Even if that's an accurate description, it's hardly his fault if the audience didn't, in PAD's words, get it. The only question is--was he funny? I say yes...though I suppose if you don't get laughs from the attending stars you probably don't get asked back.

Hey Tim, I just noticed I missed one of your comments. I know a few folks who thought the Ben Stiller bit was lame. It killed me. Part of it is that I've been doing some green screen work for the Zombie movie we're (still) shooting or it has a certain resonance. The other part was that it reminded me of a similar (as in identical gag from AMAZON WOMEN ON THE MOON where Ed Begley Jr thinks he's an invisible man but is actually just a naked visible one and he is playing pranks on people and laughing like its the funniest goddamn thing on Earth...ok, come to think of it, I was the only one laughing in the theater at that one either. So...

Just a couple of my thoughts (since I know you all couldn't wait to read them). First off, I thought Stewart killed. He was awesome from note 1.Sure he got more comfortable but he was good from the beginning. Secondly, I liked that "Pimp" won best song. Not because I love the song (I wish the music from Walk The Line was eligible) but because it was different and variety is a great thing always. Finally, the only thing that really,really irritated me to the point of distraction was the music during the speeches, during the intros,during every single freakin' thing.Note to Gil Cates: We don't need that much music. Also, if you're gonna have someone of Itzak Pearlman's caliber, make sure his violin can be heard in the mix. The orchestra was way,way too high.

"Jeeze. Even if that's an accurate description, it's hardly his fault if the audience didn't, in PAD's words, get it."

Here's the interesting thing: While I hear TV critics spouting off--people who were, as far as I'm concerned, prepared to hate him no matter what--I'm hearing precious little negativity from the actual attendees. The only comment I've read was from Spielberg who said he thought Stewart had done brilliantly.

PAD

I thought Stewart did just fine. He was a little cool starting out, but he got better as the time went by. What I really did like was that he tried hard to not make it "John Stewart Presents the Academy Awards", but he did the job as host to keep things moving.

Tommy Raiko: "Can you name any other original songs from 2005 movies that should've been nominated that weren't?"
'So Long And Thanks For All The Fish' comes to mind. And what, we didn't have any tiny-tots numbers from animated children's movies to fill out the roster? Also, I think a song from "The Producers" was specifically crafted for the 2005 film version...
Brian Czako: "It seemed to me that the audience wasn't on [Jon Stewart's] side for a good part of the opening." And most of the ceremony, too. I'll echo some of Bill's sentiments here, in that I think most of the American audience was enjoying Stewart's humor (I know I did, as did the people I watched the Oscars with and most of the people I talked with today), but the majority of the Kodak Theater audience was most assuredly not. Matt Adler called it: Hollywood takes itself way too seriously. He got a lot more confident as the night went on; you could tell Stewart knew he was scoring hits with the average Joe, but you could also tell he knew he was not getting an overly warm welcome from his immediate audience in the KT. Kind of a hard line to walk for funny, so I can't really blame him for taking what some have called the 'bland, middle of the road approach.'
(I have to say that I think Tom Shales is full of shit. So are most other TV critics. Given the bottom-of-the-barrel new programming ABC was promoting during the commercial breaks ['Miracle Workers'?!? WTF? Didn't NBC try this a year ago, but it was called 'Three Wishes'?], I'm given to think that anyone who makes a living writing about the state of American television really shouldn't take anything that comes out of their own mouth seriously, given what's going in.)
I lean slightly toward liberal by inclination, but I'm a moderate by trade, thus I appreciated Stewart's tack of insulting everybody. He called Hollywood's overestimated opinion of itself on to the carpet (I loved that back-from-the-break bit about Scientology, as well as the "...and they were never problems again" line), and he snuck in a few jabs at Republicans, too. I direct your attention to when Stewart asked the audience "do you think if we pulled down this giant Oscar statue, peace and democracy would reign over the land?" That struck me as a pretty dead-on targeting of the Bush administration. In all, I thought Stewart did a great job, especially for a first timer, and I do hope he gets invited back next year. Perhaps he could tag-team with George Clooney, as the entire world seems set to groom him to replace the aging Jack Nicholson?
The three things that really pushed my buttons about this year's awards: (1) The rampant cutting of winner's speeches. Why can't the ceremony run as long as it needs to? And how in the nine hells do you justify cutting the Best Picture winner's speech, particularly when it's a surprise win? What, we can stack the show with needless montages, to the point where it becomes so self effacing that the show's host is compelled to riff on it, but we can't spare an extra thirty seconds for the Best Picture winner? Seriously, the montages were cool and all, but were they really necessary? Mad props for a montage to film noir, but WHY? Did film noir die when I wasn't looking? Speaking of...
(2) They left a bunch of people off the 'In Memoriam' montage, including those who passed in the past few weeks. I'm glad they did away with the specific memorials to the 'big stars,' but there's a bunch of really obvious people who got left out... none of whom I can remember at the moment, due to lateness of the hour. For as many whose contributions needed to be remembered, the reel seemed much shorter than it should've been this year.
(3) The anti-Academy flak over the surprise "Crash" win. I'm sorry "Brokeback Mountain" didn't win. I really am. I wanted it to win, if only to challenge people about their own preconceptions. But I don't think the Academy made a mistake in giving the nod to "Crash". Here's why: "Brokeback" is a movie - a love story - that dealt with two homosexual men and the intolerance they faced. "Crash" is a movie that dealt with a whole bunch of people, and how they were cogs in the intolerance of our ENTIRE SOCIETY. Please understand: I am in no way trying to denigrate "Brokeback". I haven't seen the film, but I will. The subject matter of "Crash" was, I feel, more all-encompassing and more relevant to the average moviegoer. With the caveat that I haven't seen "Brokeback", I feel that the message of "Crash" had a broader reach, and possibly a better execution, and thus deserved the win. I don't think it's because the Academy is secretly a bunch of homophobes; that trope is just so much shrill and mindless bleating. Could it be that maybe, just maybe, the Academy actually picked an honestly better film?

Me: "'Crash' is a movie that dealt..."
Wow. Bad tense use. I can only pull a Gary Larson and say It Was Late And I Was Tired.

Every year, it seems, the same things are said about the Oscar telecasts. From "it was too long" or "the host wasn't good". I don't understand though, why the most important aspect of this event is never (or barely ever) discussed.

The Thank You's!

For many artists, this is their night. Perhaps the biggest nod towards their work, that they'll ever receive (and from their peers no less) in their life. Yet, as they are handed this statuette and are about to express their emotions over this presentation...

... they're herded off the stage with speed, most times in mid sentence.

What's the point? Who gives a crap about montages and overblown ridiculous unnecessary song and dance numbers. This is their night. Allow them some decency and respect, as they accept this reward for their achievement.

Ratings? It'll still have ratings. People will ALWAYS tune into watch stars and celebrities. Most of the public are enamored over watching and looking at the glamour and glitz.

Just remember, no matter how you break it down, this is still only just an awards show.

"The Oscars are a Joke, and all the films that they nominated were among the worst Hollywood has turned out in decades."

I assume Rob, that you made this comment because you saw all the films, and didn't like them, right? I mean, you wouldn't actually criticize something that you hadn't seen..... right?

And as for the movies nominated, I saw them all, and enjoyed them all.
I have NO idea why so many in the press and online have said that "they haven't seen any of the films", or "why nominate movies no one has seen"?

??

Don't know about you, but they played in theaters near where I live and I had no problems getting there, buying a ticket and seeing them.

They were well done, fascinating stories.
I was entertained
and got my money's worth.

And who can ask for more?

Tommy Ralko asks:

Here's the thing. Can you name any other original songs from 2005 movies that should've been nominated that weren't?

Here's five, right off the top of my head:

"So Long and Thanks For All the Fish" from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." (performed by Isobel Griffiths with Hilary Summers, RSVP Voices and Kemi Ominiyi, written by Joby Talbot, Garth Jennings and Christopher Austin.)

"There's Nothing Like a Show on Broadway" from "The Producers." (Performed by Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick, written by Mel Brooks.)

"Wunderkind" from "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." (Written and performed by Alanis Morissette.)

"Winter Light" from "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe." (Written abd performed by Tim Finn.)

"Do The Hippogriff" from "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire." (performed by "The Weird Sisters," written by Jarvis Cocker, Jason Buckle and Stuart Cassells.)

That said, my favorite of the nominated songs won, and the only un-nominated songs I'd have had beat it are "So Long, And Thanks For All the Fish" or "Winter Light."

There were only three nominees this year because of a change in the rules that requires a certain percentage of the total nomination pool to make the final list of nominees (similar to the rule that often limits the Best Animated Feature Oscar to three nominees).

Oh, and I thought Jon was great from start to finish. Bring him back next year!

(And yes, I looked up the songwriters in the above, but I remembered the songs right off the bat, and that's what's important.)

>The Pink Panther

I can only hope you were fortunate enough to be at a Sellers retrospective?

>And who can ask for more?

Uh, how about having Hokeywood stop putting out those godawful remakes [see above] and 're-imagining' and start concentrating on NEW stories? It isn't as though there aren't countless novels or short stories out there begging to be made. Consider the success of STAR WARS and ask yourself what could be done with today's technology in putting Smith's [literally inter-galactic] LENSMEN series to the screen for example?

"The Thank You's!

For many artists, this is their night. Perhaps the biggest nod towards their work, that they'll ever receive (and from their peers no less) in their life. Yet, as they are handed this statuette and are about to express their emotions over this presentation...

... they're herded off the stage with speed, most times in mid sentence."

The thank yous are the parts that really bore me. Yeah, every once in a while someone says something interesting. But to hear that, we have to sit through 100 other people who need to thank their Mom, their Dad, their significant others, each one other co-workers (individually), on and on and on.

It is a great moment. *For them*. It's a great *personal* moment. When so many people in a row get up and thank a list of people I've never heard of, I just can't care.

"The thank yous are the parts that really bore me. Yeah, every once in a while someone says something interesting. But to hear that, we have to sit through 100 other people who need to thank their Mom, their Dad, their significant others, each one other co-workers (individually), on and on and on.

It is a great moment. *For them*. It's a great *personal* moment. When so many people in a row get up and thank a list of people I've never heard of, I just can't care."

This then, is probably the best argument to NOT telegast the Oscars or any other award show.

I mean if you or anyone tuning in doesn't give a damn to hear the person's speech and thank you's, then what the hell's the point to watch the show?

Perhaps the best way to watch the Oscar Award Show is DON'T watch it. Watch instead, one of the many films and works that have been nominated this year, rather than the "boring" speeches.

After all, this ISN'T about you or any of the viewing audience, it's about the artists being recognized for their work by their peers.

Uh, how about having Hokeywood stop putting out those godawful remakes [see above] and 're-imagining' and start concentrating on NEW stories?

Well, let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater. There ARE some good remakes (and let's not forget, THE MALTESE FALCON was a remake of a remake!). I'm looking forward to the new HILLS HAVE EYES.

Maybe they should remake movies that weren't all that great the first time around, or at least could have used a bigger budget (or any). All the Roger Corman movies spring to mind.

Here's the interesting thing: While I hear TV critics spouting off--people who were, as far as I'm concerned, prepared to hate him no matter what--I'm hearing precious little negativity from the actual attendees. The only comment I've read was from Spielberg who said he thought Stewart had done brilliantly.

I wouldn't expect to hear overt negativity from the attendees--everyone says that Letterman bombed but I don't remember any of the stars out and out saying he did--but I think you're right that Shales and co were itching to say that Stewart bombed. He's come too far too fast, in their estimation, and he isn't deferential enough.

Ebert thought he did great, gave him a rave review, so opinions are by no means unanimous.

One aspect of Ang Lee's nomination and win that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned more in connection with BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (at least in THIS blog) is Lee's directing THE HULK.

Could this possibly influence a future Hulk movie?

"The Fabulous Hulk"

"Puny human! Hulk make over!"

Let's also keep in mind that on the Daily Show, Stewart skewers the media (particularly the "news" media) at least as much as he does politicians. I'm not especially surprised that journalists (excuse me, "journalists") might be itching to take him down a peg.

And I used to like Tom Shales, years back. I wonder what happened.

TWL

Shales seems like a very bitter guy. Ebert seems to be having a good time. It shows.

I heard this morning on the radio Hanks WAS mad. Apparently he was ticked because they were playing the theme from Forrest Gump when he walked out and this irked him, because he had "moved on from that role"..

C'mon Tom. I love you FOR that role. You won an Oscar fot it. Get over it.

OH and I can't believe I forgot to mention Meryl Streep and Lily Tomlin earlier! I thought they were the best, most obviously comfortable with who they are, presenters out there that night ... and mostly because they ad-libbed I believe!

Maybe they should remake movies that weren't all that great the first time around, or at least could have used a bigger budget (or any). All the Roger Corman movies spring to mind.

I think King Kong proved that sometimes, the version made a shoestring is actually better than that huge budget version.

"The Pink Panther

I can only hope you were fortunate enough to be at a Sellers retrospective?"

Thats the main problem with that role. No matter how good Steve Martin is, he will never, ever be Peter Sellers. Not that he isn't just as funny, he just isn't Sellers. And thats the problem with the remakes of good movies. You remember all the good moments, and they never get them quite right the second time.

Also, remake of a remake nontheless, I hated the Maltese Falcon. Made no sense to me.

And I am sure I will hear about that..

Everytime I see the trailer for the Steve Martin Pink Panther movie, only one word goes through my head: "Why?"

In all seriousness, didn't anyone raise a red flag during production that this could never, ever under any circumstances be as successful as the original? The two movies they made after Sellers' death were complete and utter bombs. Steve Martin is a very talented comedian, but he needs to stop working with Robert Simmonds.

I hated the Maltese Falcon. Made no sense to me.

Then by all means avoid THE BIG SLEEP.

Check out Mark Evanier's blog for an account by someone who was there and says that Stewart's jokes went over much better than it seemed on TV.

The songs from CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY weren't eligible as the lyrics originally were written by Dahl for the book.

Mostly. However, "Wonka's Welcome Theme" (or "Willy Wonka's Theme", as I misidentified it earlier) is credited to screenwriter John August and composer Danny Elfman. This demented puppet show theme song is not part of the score, nor is it adapted in part from Dahl's book, like the four ensuing Oompa-Loompa songs. It was even nominated for a Grammy in the Best Song Written For A Movie, TV, or Other Visual Media category this year, losing out to Josh Groban's "Believe" from 2004's The Polar Express. Indeed, it could've been nominated.

-Dave O'Connell

P.S. Tom Petty's "Square One" (from Elizabethtown) is the other song from that category that would've also been eligible for this year's Oscar.

"Maybe they should remake movies that weren't all that great the first time around, or at least could have used a bigger budget (or any)."

Or, how about an electronic 'face-lift'? Not a 'remake', but a retouching where it needs it. Consider 633 SQUADRON. A tribute to the WW II Mosquito squadrons. Even with the needless romance, one of the better war films around. Go on, tell me the scenes in the attack on the fjord base didn't influence Lucas in his Death Star trench sequence. But, oh God, those 'ordinary effects by Billy' ... Now if one were to leave the film untouched, save for setting the computer kids loose on sharpening the image, and then redoing all those effects and air combat scenes to today's CGI standard instead of plastic models, I'd pay to see that.

Starwolf...that's a cool idea. Some of the homemade stuff I've seen--THE PHAMTOM EDIT spings to mind, as well as some of the very convincing fake trailers--have had a real level of ability. It would be a blast to see people fixing up some of the older films (so long as the originals remain available).

>Everytime I see the trailer for the Steve Martin Pink Panther movie, only one word goes through my head: "Why?"

As Mr. Cranky put it "I suspect money was involved somewhere along the way."

When Kiyoshi 'Tora-san' Atsumi died, there were no more TORA-SAN movies. When Peter Falk eventually passes away, there will be no more Columbo. Since Jeremy Brett died, I am not aware of anyone trying to make more Sherlock Holmes movies/episodes.

Sometimes, a certain actor/actress becomes so perfectly identified with a character, that they ARE the character and no one else need apply.

In light of that, bad enough when they decide on an utterly unnecessary remake of a perfectly good film such as THE IN-LAWS and then lose sight of much of what made it such a good filmin the first place, but when they have the nerve to try to fit someone else into such an iconic character's [as Seller's Clouseau] shoes, that's just unforgivable.

Yes, Hades hath indeed frozen over. There WAS a very good remake - Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS. But this had two advantages remakes generally do not have. 1 - Spielberg. 2 - It was a whole lot closer in execution to the novel than the admitedly fun 50s version. ie not about the military and scientists, but just one guy trying to stay alive long enough to get back together with loved one(s) while in the midst of utter chaos and a situation that's far beyond his ability to grasp.

Instead, remakes are genrally somebody's idea of how to make money by cashing in on a known property but using today's hot names instead, and often at the expense of the wonderful chemistry that worked so well in the original, or - as in the case with ROLLERBALL - completely forgetting the whole subtext of the story.

"Everytime I see the trailer for the Steve Martin Pink Panther movie, only one word goes through my head: "Why?""

According to the figures from Box Office Mojo, Martin's Pink Panther has made just about the same amount of money that Seller's version did. Martin's got some $69 million (and counting), compared to Sellers' $10.8, million adjusted for inflation using the CPI to 2004 dollars would be about $66 million.

I just thing the Inspector was miscast. I'd rather have seen Kevin Klein as Cleuseau, and Martin as his crazy boss. I'm guessing Martin wanted the Seller's role for himself, without considering if he had the ability to carry it off. Klein can be over the top goofy funny, or straight-man funny. Cleuseau is straight man funny, not something Martin does well.

>I just thing the Inspector was miscast. I'd rather have seen Kevin Klein as Cleuseau, and Martin as his crazy boss. I'm guessing Martin wanted the Seller's role for himself, without considering if he had the ability to carry it off.

I haven't seen the movie, but I immediately had the same thought when I saw Kline was involved with the project.

THE IN-LAWS is an especially terrible example of a remake, since the only thing that made it great was the chemistry between Arkin and Falk. The exact same script with anyone else wouldn't work, as we saw.

Can you imagine Monty Python and the Holy Grail with a new cast? Wanna bet some Hollywood suit isn't right now wondering if it would work?

I do disagree that there is no need for a new Sherlock Holmes. The character has worked with many different actors, though Brett was excellent.

There WAS a very good remake - Spielberg's WAR OF THE WORLDS.

Please tell me you are joking.

>Can you imagine Monty Python and the Holy Grail with a new cast?

There was. It was called "Dude, Who Stole My Car?"

One aspect of Ang Lee's nomination and win that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned more in connection with BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (at least in THIS blog) is Lee's directing THE HULK.

Could this possibly influence a future Hulk movie?

"The Fabulous Hulk"

"Puny human! Hulk make over!"

Brokeback Avengers?

"I wish I knew how to quit you, Iron Man..."

"THE IN-LAWS is an especially terrible example of a remake, since the only thing that made it great was the chemistry between Arkin and Falk."

The script was a big part of it, too. Consider that, in the original, we really don't know for sure about Falk's character until the end. We suspect, sure, but he does a great job of throwing us off. Remember that dinner scene? In the remake, which I wisely avoided, all data points to the character's true nature being made clear right off the bat, thus eliminating the major is he or isn't he [crazy] side plots of the original.

Bill Mulligan asks: Can you imagine Monty Python and the Holy Grail with a new cast? Wanna bet some Hollywood suit isn't right now wondering if it would work?

Ever hear of a little play called "Spamalot"?

One aspect of Ang Lee's nomination and win that I'm surprised hasn't been mentioned more in connection with BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN (at least in THIS blog) is Lee's directing THE HULK.

Somewhere, I seem to remember reading a press release or something talking about how Avi Arad sent Ang Lee a congratulations about the nomination, joking that Hulk 2 was still available or something... (On the other hand, I also seem to remember Ang Lee saying something about how Brokeback Mountain was a very therapeutic project for him after the stresses of Hulk.

Ever hear of a little play called "Spamalot"?

Oh yeah? Well...well...I totally forgot about that! And it makes my point look stupid! So there!

Jon Stewart bombed so hard that they passed on having him come back next year. It would be to costly to build the fallout shelters needed.

Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is
DAVID CHAPPELLE!

Brokeback Avengers?

"I wish I knew how to quit you, Iron Man..."

Y'know, I've had a Brokeback Bizarro meme doing laps in my head for some time now:

"Me am wish me not know how Bizarro quit you!"

Aside from the happy happy, son inexplicably alive ending, I personally loved the new War of the Worlds. And I even have to wonder whether that ending was Spielberg's idea or studio pressure. *shrug*

Also, I know I've probably had this conversation before, but even though it seems to be the trendy thing to rag on Tom Cruise, I enjoy the man's work.

Sorry, had to work during the Oscars and have been too busy/uninterested to see any of the nominated flicks, so I had to pounce on a tangent. :P

-Rex Hondo-

Jon Stewart bombed so hard that they passed on having him come back next year. It would be to costly to build the fallout shelters needed.

Says who? Is that official? (That would be a shitty thing to do to a guy 2 days after the event).

Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is
DAVID CHAPPELLE!

Omigod. Cue the dialogue from the reporter who saw the Hidenberg crash.

If Ebert is wrong and they don't go with Stewart...why has Leno never been asked? Maybe they'll go with a team approach--someone like Robin Williams for the monolgue and Morgan Freeman for the main show to keep up the gravitas quotient.

Or just throw a monkey wrench into evrything and ask Letterman back. (Will. Never. Happen)

Or...Crispin Glover! Tom Cruise! (wouldn't it be GREAT if he just went off the reservation and started abbling about Scientology?). Gary Busey!

Or seriously...Chris Walken. Highest ratings ever.

No Bill that isn't true. I just dusted off my old "Serenity" joke. I have a bud who is a Whedon fan and I always teased him about the fact that Andromeda was on the air longer. When I heard that Serenity would get a movie I jokingly told him that Serenity would bomb so hard that the theatres would have to build fallout shelters in preperation for the movie.

I was just playing around but it pissed him off so much that I quit using it. But Stewart's performance gave me the perfect chance to dust it off.

You joked with a Serenity fan? You're a brave man.

What can I say, I like to live dangerously!

What, like ANYBODY who takes a TV show that seriously is actually dangerous? ;)

-Rex Hondo-

Bill Mulligan: 'Or seriously...Chris Walken. Highest ratings ever.'
"So... wow! The Oscars. One time... one time I thought I was at the Oscars, but it turns out... I wasn't. Don't laugh... or I'll f***in' hurt you!"
I second the idea, though I've become really attached to the idea that Stewart should return for next year's broadcast.

BrakYeller--LOL. That was funny. Staurday Night Live should do a skit on that premise, it'd fit right in (except for it being, as mentioned, funny).

Great idea, just what the Oscars need.... MORE COWBELL!

Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is DAVID CHAPPELLE!

But what would they do when he quits halfway through rehearsal?

I loved Stewart's discussing the Oscars last night. Note the standing O the audience was giving him as he opened with the LA moment. But the best was his quite accurately saying that he either bombed or killed, depending upon who you believed. He described himself (I'm not getting the exact words right, but I'm close) as the "desperately unfunny heir to Johnny Carson."

PAD

AH! The good old "You know I sucked and I know I sucked, but that is what makes it funny because I know I sucked and can joke about it."

Aside from the happy happy, son inexplicably alive ending, I personally loved the new War of the Worlds. And I even have to wonder whether that ending was Spielberg's idea or studio pressure. *shrug*

Also, I know I've probably had this conversation before, but even though it seems to be the trendy thing to rag on Tom Cruise, I enjoy the man's work.

I totally agree. Or, as I said to one of my friends immediately upon exiting WOTW. "the Apocalypse is now upon us. Tom Cruise has made two awesome movies in a row; WOTW and Collateral."

But that’s just one mans opinion.

Only one man can save the Oscars, and that man is DAVID CHAPPELLE!

hmmm...him or...

wait for it..

RICK JAMES!!!

OK, I will go wait in the corner for the adults to stone me for that joke...

In all, I thought Stewart did a great job, especially for a first timer, and I do hope he gets invited back next year.
Bill beat me to mentioning it, but Ebert's comments suggest that Jon will be back next year (and for a while after), which makes me very happy. I think those slaying him for being nervous for a while ought to try getting in front of that many people/peers and do a live monologue to the entire country, and see how well THEY handle it!

Thought it was by far the best Oscars in quite a while, save the annoying cutting the winners off thing - because we were in such a hurry to get to repeats of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy???

I loved Stewart's discussing the Oscars last night.
Me too - had me in stitches. I wonder how long he'll be milking that particular joke? (For thosew that missed it, it should be up on Comedy Central by tomorrow.) Stephen Colbert's gloating on Monday night was well worth it, as well.

coupla things:

Yes, Dave Chappelle *would* be genius. But if you thought Chris Rock was an awkward fit, wait till Chappelle is up there doing his Samuel L. Jackson impersonation. "THEY ATE ME! A %$#@in' SHARK ATE ME! YES THEY DESERVE TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!" (speaking of which, go see Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Awesome movie.)

I really liked Stewart, but I'm a Daily Show / Half Baked fan to begin with. They keep hiring these outsiders to host the show - - which I think is great because its so full of so much damn pomp and circumstance that you *need* someone to let the air out of the balloon of the whole thing. Maybe Stewart took it a bit far, but, hey, good for him! When you have George Clooney up there saying how he's proud that Hollywood is out of touch, you need to take the whole thing down a notch. My favourite line of his in the night was when he pointed to the Oscar statue and quipped, "Hey, do you think if he tore this down, democracy would flourish in Hollywood?" That and his comming back from break extoling the virtues of scientology was pretty boss.

Anyway, to those who are bit torrent / avi handicapable, I recommend snagging this: http://www.mininova.org/tor/244075 Its a 30 minute "highlight reel" of Stewart's bits, and it has the opening, and Ben Stiller's FX bit ("This is blowing Spielberg's MIND!") along with Will Farrell and Steve Carell for makeup. I really liked the videotaped opening, I thought it was very well done, loved the Steve Martin's kids joke, got a huge laugh out of Mel Gibson on the set of Apocoalypto putting his hand ontop of his hat and running away from a panther in old timey "feets don't fail me now!" manner, and any time you can get Mr. Movie Phone worked in somewhere is okay in my book.

as for the ceremony itself? Damn Brokeback Moutain cost me 5 bucks cause I thought it was a shoe in. Star Wars wuz Robbed with no FX nomination / losing in the makeup category. I thought Muderball was a much better documentary than March of the Penguins (though the later was pretty good). "Its Hard Out Here For A Pimp" and 3 6 Mafia's acceptance speech were the unintentionally hillarious highlights of the night. (Stewart: "I think it just got a little easier out here for a Pimp!"). Crash was a very good movie, maybe not specatular, but it was able to juggle multiple plotlines in a coherrent and interesting way (see Syriana for a similar style that falls flat on its face), but I thought Munich was a better movie because it worked in the affect violence has on people, while being a pretty kickass action thriller in its own way.

D'oh, and also, did anyone else find it really odd that they had a 2 entire semgents to disparaging DVDs? (the MPAA guy begging for theatre attendence, and the montage of "epicness") Why in the bloody hell would they feel the need to denounce one of their own revenue streams? Yes, 2005 Box Office was down %10 for 2004. But 2004 was one of the very best years on record, maybe that's why. I think deep down, all of these Hollywood Fat Cats are scared of being reduced to home entertainment. It "demeans" them, somehow.

Poor Donnie Darko had to introduce the "epics" montage too. He should have come out with Frank, and just had him say, "Why are you wearing that stupid Rabbit suit"? That would have made it more interesting.

Poor Donnie Darko had to introduce the "epics" montage too.

And boy, did he look uncomfortable doing it. I've rarely seen him look that nervous. (Maybe he was down over not getting the Supporting Actor award.)

Oh, and for way uptopic -- thanks for the clarification, Bill. Appreciated.

TWL

AH! The good old "You know I sucked and I know I sucked, but that is what makes it funny because I know I sucked and can joke about it."

Actually, I think the gist of the joke was more like "Some folks say that I sucked and some folks say that I didn't suck. What're ya gonna do? Go figure."

Well, we saw very little of the Oscars - every time we turned, we happened to catch an acting category - I/we saw Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, and Actor, just by chance - so I can't say much about Stewart one way or the other, other than to say that it seems to have become the norm to say that the Oscar host, whoever it was, wasn't very good. While each one has many supporters - I liked Dave Letterman, no matter how much he likes to insult his year hosting - every year now there's an audible sound of dismissiveness, no matter who was the host.

And - Revenge of the Sith not even being NOMINATED is ridiculous! I also felt Serenity deserved a nomination, though I feared its low profile would hurt it (as appparently it did). But for Sith to not even have been nominated - there's no validity to the category.

Oh, and I agree - less clips, more time for winners' acceptances! If they're so concerned about running long, cut the dead weight! Duh!

>Oh, and I agree - less clips, more time for winners' acceptances! If they're so concerned about running long, cut the dead weight!

And then there's Joe Martin's Mr. BOFFO gag about "The longest acceptance speech award goes to ..." with an award winner addressing a [literally] comatose audience as he wraps up "... and last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank the guy who parked my car and without whom I'd still be circling the block."

>But for Sith to not even have been nominated - there's no validity to the category.

And people wonder why I don't bother watching? I don't know who comes up with the nominations, but they're obviously on some serious drugs, at least part of the time.

And - Revenge of the Sith not even being NOMINATED is ridiculous!

It would help if you specified which category you meant here. :-)

Assuming you mean FX, I'm inclined to agree with you -- the visuals were certainly the best part of the film.

If you're suggesting something in the more "major" categories (e.g. acting, screenplay, director, or picture), then allow me to respectfully disagree.

(Personally, I think a nomination for effects would have made more sense than one for makeup ... but I've already ranted about that earlier in the thread.)

TWL

I think its a shame Sith didn't get an FX nod, just because of the expansive nature of the worlds they created. Kong was an achievement, true, War of the Worlds FX had a "you are there" immediacy (helped alot by how Spielberg framed the shots low to the ground) which made the experience more intense. the odd one out was, truly, Chronicles of Narnia. How in the heck did Narnia break any new ground compared to the extend of FX work that was done in Sith.

Why? Well, because The Oscars *loves* costume / midevil dramas - even fantasy ala Narnia. Look at all the noms (and wins!) that Geisha rounded up. They just eat that stuff up. I think the FX should have been Sith / WoTW / Kong. Damn shame it didn't go down that way, and even a bigger shame that none of the prequels got any FX awards whatsoever. Bitch all you want about the plots and actors, passing over the FX is a huge oversight.

But this is all assuming that the Oscars are ever right. Anyone want to remember Dances With Wolves winning over Goodfellas? Or the 9 billion other mistakes they've made over the years? Fuggetaboutit.

RE: Brokeback Avengers

I know it's a couple days late, but it just popped into my head, shouldn't the line be more along the lines of, "By Odin's beard, I know not how to quit thee, Iron Man."

-Rex Hondo-

Kelly sez: Thought it was by far the best Oscars in quite a while, save the annoying cutting the winners off thing - because we were in such a hurry to get to repeats of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy???

Maybe on the West Coast, but folks in the Eastern and Central time zones need to get to bed as they have to work the next day. Remember, 9 p.m. California time is midnight on the east coast.

Remember, 9 p.m. California time is midnight on the east coast.

And this has ever stopped a sporting event from starting at 8pm on the East Coast?

I think its a shame Sith didn't get an FX nod, just because of the expansive nature of the worlds they created.

Hey, if we're complaining about nominations that weren't made, how about something for Sin City? Visual effects? Cinematography? Makeup? Coulda/shoulda been a contender in any of them categories...

Yah, Sin City was totally robbed in all the techincal categories. So was Sith. But, just to get all conspiracy theory on y'all, both were made without the approval of the Directors Guild and outside of the Hollywood mainstream. So maybe there's a No Nominations For Vendetta against both.

Still, picking Chronicles of Narnia for technical things about either Sin City or Sith blows me mind.

I just wanted to get something off my chest.

On MSNBC's Hardball the day after the Academy Awards, Chris Mathews had Al Sharpton and some other idiot commenting about the best original song winner. (It’s Hard out there for a Pimp)

And Mathews, Sharpton and the other moron went on and on about how awful it was, and how embarrassing it was to nominate such a song and how it promoted negative stereotypes, (Which is not what the song was about) etc..

But it was clear they didn't see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song. They came across like a bunch of no-nothing, blathering fools.

In my opinion, it was the best original song of the year. Three-Six Mafia earned it.

To me, the greatest thing about the song is it's subject matter could be offensive to some people, and I thank god for that.

The day the "Political Correctness Army" takes over Hollywood stifles every last challenge to bland, mainstream dreck, it will be a very sad day.

But it was clear they didn't see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song.

I'm sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?

Maybe next year we can have a song from the Civil War called "It's Hard Out Here For a Slave Owner".

Or maybe a WWII film called "It's Hard Out Here For a Nazi Executing Jews".

This has nothing to do with political correctness. This is about the simple fact that I see no reason to celebrate this song any more than the examples I gave.

Sin City was never going to have a chance at a nomination...not after Rodriguez walked out on the DGA over the whole co-director thing.

Sin City was never going to have a chance at a nomination...not after Rodriguez walked out on the DGA over the whole co-director thing.

That would explain SITH's snub too (Lucas having left the DGA as well).

"In my opinion, it was the best original song of the year."

The really sad bit is that it was. This year's choices were like being asked to choose whether you like having your hand chopped off better then having your foot chopped off. The best film songs of the last year didn't get the nods that they deserved and the ones that did get the nod sucked. No real winners here.

"I'm sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?"

The context of the movie, of course, which you obviously haven't seen, thus proving Alex's point. If you had, you wouldn't be making the inane comment that it promotes pimping as a "good and positive thing."

The context of the movie, of course, which you obviously haven't seen, thus proving Alex's point.

Why do I need the movie to understand the context of the song?

I've looked over the lyrics for the song, and that's all anybody needs.

Imo, the context doesn't matter anyways.

C'mon, Craig, I'm about as whitebread a honkie as you're likely to meet this side of a bedsheet meeting, and even I know that "pimpin", in modern urban parlance, has little, if anything, to do with prostitution. It's a state of mind, in which value is measured in terms of the worldly goods one can accumulate and dislay on one's person at any given time (not dissimilar to the noveau riche, except with even less taste). You know, kind of like how "thuggin" has less to do with actually being violent, than with displaying the proper macho attitude...

and even I know that "pimpin", in modern urban parlance, has little, if anything, to do with prostitution.

Then you haven't bothered to read the lyrics of the song.

Unless this really means something else...

"Wait I got a snow bunny, and a black girl too
You pay the right price and they'll both do you"

Hmm. Let me think about this one.

Posted by Craig J. Ries

But it was clear they didn't see the film the song was from, nor did they understand the context of the song.

I'm sorry, but what possible context could you be referring to? One where pimping can be seen as a good and positive thing?

Then you didn't get the song at all. 'Hustle & Flow is about a man who wants to escape his life as a 'pimp'. He uses his life experiences to write the song. (A tried and true tradition of musical artists)

The song isn't about promoting the pimp lifestyle at all.

This has nothing to do with political correctness. This is about the simple fact that I see no reason to celebrate this song any more than the examples I gave.

The people on Hardball I was commenting about didn't present it that way at all. It was a pure political correctness lovefest.

That's why I listen to Frank Black, since his lyrics make no damn sense at all or, better yet, early REM, where the lyrics could well be promoting the use of underage orphans for Tijuana donkey porn but how would you know?

And anyway, when the Academy votes for Best Costume, they don't judge the costumes by watching models parade down a runway in them, entirely apart from how they are used in the movie. They watch them in the actual movie, because otherwise it would be pointless.

It's the same with Best Song. They have to be judged in the context of the movie. Otherwise, it's just the Grammys.

But that's irrelevent, since the song itself doesn't promote pimping. It's just saying that it's hard out here for a pimp, is all, using irony and a fair bit of self-pitying. It's an angry and bitter song, and if you REALLY read the lyrics, you'd see that it's crying out against pimping and prostitution.