Check this out. It explains so much.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/43189&rss=1
PAD
Posted by Peter David at December 7, 2005 01:54 PM | TrackBack | Other blogs commentingHere's another:
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/archive/2005/10/12/notes101205.DTL&nl=fix
Haw haw haw - them folks what believe in God sure is funny!
Hey, this IS the president who said, in public, "God told me to strike...and I did. Then, God told me to strike...and I did."
Which is certainly a brilliant statement to make when your primary adversaries are religious fanatics...
(The ellipses are there because I don't have the exact quote handy to plug in the names mentioned, but that's the quote)
That was pretty funny, even if it was lifted from Real Genius.
What makes it even funnier is that it's totally believable.
It was lifted from Real Genius? I thought they took the idea from those issues of "The Incredible Hulk" back when he got shrunken down during the Infinity (Gauntlet? War? Crusade?), and convinced the Abomination that he was God...
Now, who wrote those issues? His name's on the tip of my tongue...
If I recall correctly, if you reread those Hulk issues, you'll note that Bruce mentions classmates at Caltech having done something similar.
Real Genius was effectively set at Caltech (OK, it's called Pacific Tech in the movie, but the research for it, the DEI in-jokes, a lot of the past hacks mentioned, the at least partial model for Jordan [who, btw, is the sister of a Tuckerized PAD character], etc. are all Caltech). That was Peter's tip of the hat acknowledgement to Real Genius.
"God told me to strike at al Qaida and I struck them, and then he instructed me to strike at Saddam, which I did, ... "
And - that's why the Hulk wore bunny slippers? Thanks for the info, Kathleen!
It's sad when your country is ruled by someone you can totally see thinking some guy talking to him over the intercom was the voice of God.
Not that anything anyone can say would ever make most of the people predisposed to believe this give it a moment's doubt...but just for the record: http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/abbas-denies-bushs-mission-from-god-remark/2005/10/08/1128563027485.html
The long and short of it is that Mahmoud Abbas, the guy that Bush is supposed to have made the statement to "has denied an account by another Palestinian official of a meeting with US President George Bush in which Bush is cited as saying he believed that God told him to go to war in Afghanistan and Iraq."
But as I said, if you want to believe something hard enough, no amount of facts will disuade you.
That said, the Onion article was a scream, as usual. The American Voices section always gets a big laugh out of me.
"Instead, they should market King Kong to Christians. Wouldn't it be awesome if Jesus were an enormous, rampaging ape?"
The film adaptation of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, the first installment of the Chronicles Of Narnia series, is being marketed strongly to a Christian audience. What do you think?
"Do they realize this movie is all about people coming out of closets?"
ROFL!
"It's sad when your country is ruled by someone you can totally see thinking some guy talking to him over the intercom was the voice of God."
No, what's sad is that when someone doesn't realize that the "article" is a joke/satire.
In all farness, Jeff, I'm pretty sure he knew that. He's saying that it's not as much in the realm of satire as it ought to be. I disagree but I don't think it's fair to label him as so out to lunch that he can't see the Onion as the satire it is.
There HAVE been cases of stuff on the Onion being reported as actual news stories though. You gotta wonder. Then again, life imittates the Onion often enough that you can't always be sure.
"Apathy Outpacing Lust as Leading U.S. State of Mind"--headline, Onion, Aug. 30, 2000
"Students Apathetic Over Debate: Turnout poor for apathy discussion"--headline, Wildcat (University of Arizona), Nov. 17, 2005
I've been reading the onion for years, but I don't remember ever seeing you mention the 'clinton articles' that they wrote.
Because of course if Dave W. has been reading The Onion for years, I have, too.
PAD
My favorite Onion article, not in the archives, was from around 2000-2001. It was something like "Local Comic Book Fan Fails To Get Laid At Comic Book Convention." I especially loved the subject commenting that there weren't too many women there, then adding "There was this one hot chick dressed like Black Canary, but she had 20 or 30 guys around her all the time." (And if anyone has a link to/copy of this article, pass it on.)
As for Bush and the Intercom bit, I can sadly believe it. Bush has made no secret of his religious convictions (when asked if he discussed the Iraq invasion with George Sr, GWB said something like "I discussed it with a higher Father"), and the debates showed Cheney is far more savvy than the President.
Speaking of hearing the voice of "God", does anyone remember the commercial for Staples (I think), in which a woman is sitting at her desk, and suddenly a light shines down on her, and a deep voice from above advises her to shop for her office supplies at Staples (or whichever office supply store it was)? She says "thanks", and offers something from a jar of candy.
The voice thanks her, as the camera pulls back to reveal a janitor on a step ladder, replacing the light above her desk.
Good stuff, Maynard.
As for Bush, I do think that he thinks he's on a mission from God. Which is a scary thought, because _no one_ knows what God wants. Best we can do is take an educated guess based on our individual belief systems as to who and what God is, or even if there is a God.
Rick
This is the best thing that I've ever read at the Onion:
A couple of my (kinda) recent favorites:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41676
and
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30709
Might not be funny if you're not a fan of those kinds of movies.
And to be "fair and balanced," for dave w., here's a Clinton one. Kinda comic book-y:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29366
I've been reading the onion for years, but I don't remember ever seeing you mention the 'clinton articles' that they wrote.
Ahh, the good ol' right-wing retort: when it doubt, bring up Clinton.
But then, as PAD said, you make a pretty poor assumption that just because you've been reading the Onion for years, everybody else has as well.
Funny, under Clinton the price of gas never got near or over $3.00 / gallon and unemployment was never this high, and America wasn't as hated and reviled around the world as much...
Yeah, Clinton was horrible because he got a blowjob... I can see how the Republicans would think that...
My favorite Onion article, not in the archives, was from around 2000-2001. It was something like "Local Comic Book Fan Fails To Get Laid At Comic Book Convention." I especially loved the subject commenting that there weren't too many women there, then adding "There was this one hot chick dressed like Black Canary, but she had 20 or 30 guys around her all the time." (And if anyone has a link to/copy of this article, pass it on.)
--------------------------------------
It was Dragoncon actually.
The collected volumes of the Onion are wonderful additions to anyone's personal library. Very rarely have I found a book that results in my smirking or laughing out loud from nearly every page. These books allow me the pleasure of both and leaves nobody safe from their parodies. Love em!
Fred
Bif thanks to David Serchay for providing the link to "Plot To Get Laid At DragonCon 2001 Fails." So true, so true...
I'm sorry. I know it's kind of pointless to try to talk conservative politics here, which is fine beacuse I really just come here these days to enjoy Mr. David's cultural-related posts, but I cannot let bladestar's ridiculous post (though par for the course for bladestar) go by unmentioned.
"unemployment was never this high"
1993 - 6.9
1994 - 6.1
1995 - 5.6
1996 - 5.4
1997 - 4.9
1998 - 4.5
1999 - 4.2
2000 - 4.0
2001 - 4.7
2002 - 5.8
2003 - 6.0
2004 - 5.5
Feel free to interpret those numbers any way you want, because there are certainly many valid ways to do so, but do NOT say that the unemployment rate was NEVER higher. The highest Bush year is still lower than two Clinton years, and if you're going to say that Clinton inherited a bad economy from Bush 1, be damn sure to stipulate that Bush 2 inherited a bad economy from Clinton, and don't forget that the economy is currently so robust that not even Katrina could slow down its growth.
"America wasn't as hated and reviled around the world as much"
I know this isn't the Straight Dope, so I won't ask for a cite, nor will I provide one, but there's easily as much anecdotal and polling evidence to the contrary. Don't forget, Australia overwhelmingly voted for the pro-America candidate, stunning many pundits. Germany did not fully support their anti-Bush leader and ultimately installed a government whose platform was largely based on recreating ties to America, and was certainly represented that way in the media. That's all a simplification, of course, but true nonetheless. The outpouring of support to America after Katrina also seems to put lie to the meme that the world hates us.
As for the gas thing, well, can't deny that. It's all relative, though, and I think you know that. Are you praising Bush because gas is dropping to $2.00 now? But, as Bill Mulligan pointed out, don't let things like facts stop you.
Amen to Bladestar inasmuch as the Republicans making such a huge deal outta the whole Lewinsky thing.
And is anyone else cracking up at the whole Real Genius connection? "And W...stop playing with yourself..."
And the President just sits there, saying "It IS God..."
And as far as praising Bush because gas may be under two bucks near you (it sure as heck ain't near me) as far as Katrina goes, it wouldn't have mattered who was president, the oil rigs STILL wouldn't have made it through, so blaming him for the price of oil around Katrina is BS. Also, giving him credit for the price coming down is equally BS. On the other hand, invading an oil-producing eastern country...yeah, that pretty much is on his head.
1993 - 6.9
1994 - 6.1
1995 - 5.6
1996 - 5.4
1997 - 4.9
1998 - 4.5
1999 - 4.2
2000 - 4.0
2001 - 4.7
2002 - 5.8
2003 - 6.0
2004 - 5.5
So unemployment dropped each year during Clinton's terms, and then rose buy 50% (4.0 to 6.0) wiping out in 2 years the improvements of the previous 6.
And..., uh..., I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought. What was your point again?
be damn sure to stipulate that Bush 2 inherited a bad economy from Clinton
And the evidence of this is what?
Clinton inherited a bad economy, the unemployment rate dropped year by year and... ?
I'd say it's more a factor of Clinton leaving office and Bush taking over being a good reason for the economy to tank.
"What was your point again?"
My point, Sean, was that bladestar said the unemployment rate was NEVER higher under Clinton. Those numbers prove him wrong. I don't see where the debate in that simple fact lies.
Craig, as I said, you can interpret the data any way you want. If you say that Clinton inherited a bad economy and turned it around, you MUST say the exact same thing for Bush 2, who took over as the unemployment numbers were on the rise (the numbers rose throughout 2002) and has, as of this year, turned it around. There's a lot of debate, to be sure, as to exactly when the downturn started, but the majority (although, yes, not all) opinion states it happened near the end of the Clinton presidency. In any case, as I'm sure you know, most economists point out that economic changes are cyclical over periods of years, and even Clinton conceded at the start of his term that the economy was in a positive turnaround at the end of Bush 1's term...which means that any poor unemployment numbers at first couple years of Bush 2's term is directly related to failures on Clinton's part near the end of his respective terms, and it's only now that Bush policies are affecting the economy. Your final comment is too ridiculous, economically speaking, to comment on, and I think you know that.
Which, as I say, is one way to look at it.
None of that takes away the simple fact that bladestar was wrong wrong wrong.
ArizonaTeach wecan talk statstics all we want, but I prefer talking about reality rather than numbers.
On Monday I found out that my studio has been "laid off", that the parent company is making cutbacks. This is the second time in 5 years in my profession that I've been in a department that is being let go.
In a similar large company that I worked at, again in my profession, we had NO lay offs or cutbacks during the Clinton years.
Pro Bushers can yak about numbers all they want, but I've felt the sting of Bush's economy first hand and it stinks.
But why should Bush notice, he's too busy talking to God.
ArizonaTeach:
>None of that takes away the simple fact that bladestar was wrong wrong wrong.
You say that like it's a new thing. :p
*I kid cuz I love.*
Pro Bushers can yak about numbers all they want, but I've felt the sting of Bush's economy first hand and it stinks.
But according to bush the Iraqi economy is improving nicely.
http://www.nynewsday.com/news/nationworld/world/chi-0512080211dec08,0,7335468.story
====================
As for the gas prices, here's what bush said about them when Clinton was president & gas prices were much lower than they are now:
"What I think the president ought to do is he ought to get on the phone with the OPEC cartel and say 'we expect you to open your spigots'…and the President of the United States must jawbone OPEC members to lower the price."
Perhaps he could have done some of that jawboning while he was holding hands with Prince what's-his-name?
But as I said, if you want to believe something hard enough, no amount of facts will disuade you.
I guess that might explain why 37% of Americans still think Bush is honest and truthful. :)
Iraqi economy improving? While this may technically be true, it isn't improving for the common man in Iraq. NPR aired a report and analysis this morning regarding real estate costs sky-rocketing leading to the displacement of many nationals, an unemployment rate that is so high that it is regularly estimated at approximately 50% and several other areas that should lead to some serious reconsideration as to what the hell we are accomplishing over there for anyone who isn't financially invested in it in some form or a member of a terrorist movement.
Brian wrote: "It's sad when your country is ruled by someone you can totally see thinking some guy talking to him over the intercom was the voice of God."
Actually, what I think is sad is that there are so many people who readily bought into the "Bush is stupid because he's religious" hype.
Leaders of all political stripes in the U.S. have been making faith-based decisions since this country was born. John F. Kennedy frequently quoted the Bible, and was a religious man. Martin Luther King's whole life and cause revolved around his faith.
And the tract below was written by President Abraham Lincoln during the darkest days of the Civil War, as he continued to wrestle with his decision to go to war in the first place (You remember Lincoln, don’t you? He’s the one who split this country apart to save it -- and free the slaves in the process):
“The will of God prevails. In great contests each party claims to act in accordance with the will of God. Both may be, and one must be wrong. God can not be for and against the same thing at the same time. In the present civil war it is quite possible that God's purpose is something different from the purpose of either party -- and yet the human instrumentalities, working just as they do, are of the best adaptation to effect His purpose.
"I am almost ready to say this is probably true -- that God wills this contest, and wills that it shall not end yet. By His mere quiet power, on the minds of the now contestants, He could have either saved or destroyed the Union without a human contest. Yet the contest began. And having begun He could give the final victory to either side any day. Yet the contest proceeds.”
The morale of my story? Intolerance against those who happen to be religious is no different than any other sort intolerance.
Perhaps he could have done some of that jawboning while he was holding hands with Prince what's-his-name?
While gas prices broke $3, the industry was seeing ecord profits. Bush's buddies in the oil industry just need to make a few extra millions off our misery.
The long and short of it is that Mahmoud Abbas, the guy that Bush is supposed to have made the statement to "has denied an account by another Palestinian official of a meeting with US President George Bush in which Bush is cited as saying he believed that God told him to go to war in Afghanistan and Iraq."
But as I said, if you want to believe something hard enough, no amount of facts will disuade you.
Hey, if it's a good enough philosophy for W., it's good enough for me.
:)
Among my Onion favorites are:
For geeks, the humorously insightful “Walking Sports Database Scorns Walking Sci-Fi Database” (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38664)
For political wonks, the eerily prescient “Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'” (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784)
And for geek political wonks, “Clinton Forced To Kneel Before Zod” (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/32440)
Also, just for the sheer balls that only the Onion can get away with, “The Undertaker Forced To Manage Eddie Guerrero's Funeral” (which, sadly, hasn’t been archived yet).
Thanks R. Maheras. Yours was a post to think about rather than the easy "piling on" responses that are so easy.
Actually, the only thing that I thought of is that people with no sense of humor (left or right) cry bigotry when they don't get the joke.
I thought the bit was funny. I also though the Clinton kneels before Zod bit was funny, too.
Lighten up, folks.
I don't think Bush is stupid because he's religious. I think he's stupid because the evidence overwhelmingly points in that direction.
Frankly, I don't think he's very religious at all. He just makes the prayerful noises to get votes from the folks that are.
RJM:
I certainly sympathize for those who were cut, but that's anecdotal. In my district, the only time there have ever been cutbacks in my time were during the Clinton years. In fact, our salaries have risen more rapidly in the last four than in the previous eight. Does that mean that Bush is good for teachers? Yeah, that's part of the NEA's docket...
Bottom line, for every person that says they have it bad, you will find people who said they had it worse six years ago.
Michael Brunner & Fred Chamberlain:
I direct you to:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/op-ed/20051206-091140-1752r.htm
(One of these days, I will learn how to do the HTML tags...seriously...I promise)
Nutshell, 47% of Iraqis say the country is headed in the right direction (up 5% since last year) and 37% say it isn't. Now, polls are polls are polls, so take that as you will. I believe there's a discussion on the Straight Dope about it right now (and if you don't check there regularly, you really should...absolutely fascinating discussions). And, while on the whole that board is almost venomous in its hatred of Bush, much of the evidence and information on the "Is Iraq better off" thread grudgingly concede things are better, and they do a much better job of explaining it than I could.
R. Maheras:
Excellent points. I'm not overly religious in any sense myself, so I don't take as much offense to the hatred towards religion some people seem to have. I just remember, however, how near the end of the election Kerry was desperately trying to shore up his Catholic credentials and, for that matter, his newly discovered Jewish ones.
Rob Staeger:
The overwhelming evidence points to Bush being stupid? The man who got higher grades than John Kerry and got elected President of the United States? Twice? (and oh...here come the "he didn't get elected the first time" posts. Whatever.) Those bits of overwhelming evidence? What criteria are you basing this on? Seriously, think about it. It's another ridiculous meme. There is no "overwhelming evidence" that he is stupid or anything near it. It's more snobbery and hindsight than anything else that keep that meme going.
Aaaaaand...this is why I don't like talking politics here. Sigh.
To the original post, I quit reading the Onion when the format got inconvenient...it was so much better when everything was on one page. Still funny as all hell though.
Craig:
Apologies for the double post, but I wanted to comment on the record gas profits thing.
I used to be sympathetic to the idea of evil gas companies robbing the people...but then I was pointed to this California Energy Commission website:
http://www.energy.ca.gov/gasoline/margins/index.html
Interesting stuff, especially when you look at the profit cycles.
And after years and years and years of hearings on whether those evil companies are colluding or ripping us off, and nothing ever comes from it (and I KNOW that some Senators would LOVE to find something damning there), I have to question if there really IS something there to FIND.
I would love to have cheaper gas (let's not forget how much they pay overseas and be thankful for THAT), but I've come to the reluctant conclusion that it's all about volume. Even if companies were only making 5 cents a gallon in profit (and many months, they are), they're still going to make millions a week.
But you and I both know where the real money is...when they reel you in for the 99 cent hot dogs, but make you pay 3 bucks for a candy bar...they're worse than theater food!
ArizonaTeach: Here's a poll conducted by the British military. A few highlights:
45% agree with attacks on troops
82% want coalition troops out
Also, I read the article you posted. The poll was conducted by the International Republican Institute (www.iri.org), and is made up of people such as Jeanne Kirkpatrick, John McCain & Chuck Hagel, people who support the war.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28181
since we are posting Onion links here, I always liked this one.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28181
at the bottom is the "ethics course" one.
ArizonaTeach:
"It's more snobbery and hindsight than anything else that keep that meme going."
Maybe it IS partially snobbery. But it's certainly hindsight. I look back on his presidency, the decisions he's made, the people he's trusted, and where they've brought us, and there are only two conclusions that can be drawn.
The first possibility is that he's dumber than a bag of tacks. That's the kind interpretation.
The second is that he's intentionally increasing the divide between the haves and have-nots and throwing the lives of thousands of people away simply to weaken us as a nation and to make us look petty and foolish in the eyes of the world.
So if you want to believe the president is an evil, America-hating traitor, that's fine with me. I can certainly see where you'd get that impression. I just prefer to think of him as a moron.
Michael Brunner:
Granted, which is why I said "polls are polls are polls," and if you want to disbelieve the conclusions of the poll you're more than welcome to (I, for one, would like to have access to the particulars), but I think the proper thing to do would be to counter it with specifics on an opposing poll...what you provided isn't informative in the least. I'm not saying this to be purposefully contrary; I'd love to see and examine some other data, I just don't think what you posted does that.
Rob Staeger:
You have no interest in looking at or discussing this rationally, so I won't get in the way of your hyperbolic spewing anymore. Cheers.
Interesting that ArizonaTeach points out that the only time that the only times there were changes in that particular district was under Clinton and the salaries there have risen so much.
I, myself, speaking for Philadelphia and the surrounding area...between my wife and myself we've had seven different jobs since Bush got into office. All were the result of downsizing and/or compnay shutdowns. In fact, that's part of what made me decide to finally start Nightblade Productions. This line of reasoning reminds me of one of the women I work with, whp swears by Bush beacuse she's making so much more money than under Clinton. Now, granted, under Clinton she was working at Pizza Hut and since right after Bush was elected she's been working in a TV station, but THAT couldn't have anything to do with it?
And as far as the "Bush is stupid" theme? I wouldn't call him stupid. Although finding out how to pronounce words word go a LONG way toward alleviating the burden of that label, and getting better grades than someone doesn't necessarily make you more intelligent.(Remund me sometime to tell you the story of the art professo who,when told to cook a twenty pound turkey twenty minutes a pound,wrote the number 20 20 times.) No, the label I would use on Bush is unwise. As in lacking in wisdom. Something that might come in handy when you're, y'know, leader of the free world.
I think it's one of those crazy things that people want to believe when they talk about how any President has been "good" or "bad" for the economy, in any but the most general sense. The economy is bigger than any one man.
Do the same people who claimed that Bush was responsible for the shaky economy of a few years back now believe that he is equally responsible for the better than expected economic growth of today? The low unemployment? Low inflation? Job creation? Does anyone think that if Kerry had been elected any of the statistics would be even 1/10 of 1 percent different? (I suspect that some would be lauding the economic good news and saying something to the effect that "Boy, it didn't take long for things to get better once Smirky McHitlerchimp got the big heave-ho!")
Economically my family has had ups and downs during the last 6 years. None of which is due to anything other than our own choices, good and bad. Lately it's been more ups than downs, possibly dueRat refers to.
Smirky McHitlerchimp?! That's freakin' hilarious! Seriously! If it wasn't for the fact that Dubya is so much easier to say, that would be my new nickname for Bush! Well, except for the Hitler part, that's just not accurate. How about Smirky McChimp?
ArizonaTeach: You're right. I wasn't being rational, and I apologize.
The thing is, I'm deeply ashamed that he's my president. I think he's the worst one we've ever had, and I think he's brought great shame to the country. I pray that the next one, whoever he is, can start rebuilding the nation from the mess Bush has made of it.
I don't know how smart he is. But I do feel that the direction he's taken the country is a horrible mistake. It's a road that I feel a wiser man (as Rat puts it) wouldn't have traveled.
Sometimes I express that with reason and logic; other times I just go for snark.
So again, sorry.
ArizonaTeach: You're right. I wasn't being rational, and I apologize.
The thing is, I'm deeply ashamed that he's my president. I think he's the worst one we've ever had, and I think he's brought great shame to the country. I pray that the next one, whoever he is, can start rebuilding the nation from the mess Bush has made of it.
I don't know how smart he is. But I do feel that the direction he's taken the country is a horrible mistake. It's a road that I feel a wiser man (as Rat puts it) wouldn't have traveled.
Sometimes I express that with reason and logic; other times I just go for snark.
So again, sorry.
Jeeze Rob, where ya been? There's Smirky McChimp, Mummbles McHitlerburton, Junior McChimperor, El Smirko Stumbleoso, Furious George McPretzlechoker, Snippy McPresidentevil, The Simianator, GeorgeMcflightsuitlyinglipsIdon'tknowwhatthehelliswrongwithhalfthecountrywhowouldvoteforthislyinglippedmoronIcan'tbelievkerryisn'tpresidentwherethehellaremymeds
You have to read more blogs :)
Jeeze Rob, where ya been?
I prefer Chimp in Chief, myself. :)
Furious George McPretzlechoker?
That's a stone riot.
Couple of thoughts:
My favorite nickname is Chimpy McFlightsuit.
I have to agree with Bill on the economy issue, while the game of politics dictates that the president gets the credit for the good times and the blame for the bad, the truth is, the health of the economy of the country as a whole has more to do with cyclical periods and various other factors that are far beyond the ability of whoever is currently sitting in the Oval House to control. When you get down to the economic health of individual communities, the presidency becomes even less relevent.
Both sides the play the economic card when it suits them. It's wrong, but that's part of the game.
As for Bush's intelligence, I know it's fun to joke about it, but in all honesty, I don't think he's stupid so much as intellectually lazy. He isn't interested in any information that doesn't support his preconceived notions, so he surrounds himself with yes-men who tell him what he wants to hear instead of the truth.
Polls go up and they go down. Whether 30, 40, 50, or 60% of Iraqis want us out, the fact remains that there is a sizable portion of the population is unhappy with the current situation and that is going to be a continuing problem for us. Honestly, I don't see a good option for us at this point. If we "stay the course", we're just going to keep getting bogged down. If we pull out, that will just make the inevitable civil war and radical Shi'ite theocracy takover occur all the sooner.
Bill Mullichimp
Probably an improvement over what my students call me.
If we pull out, that will just make the inevitable civil war and radical Shi'ite theocracy takover occur all the sooner.
Well if it's inevitable the only sane thing is to pull out now--what gain would there be in putting it off?
Personally, I think that neither is inevitable and, indeed, becoming less and less likely. Whether we will be politically able to stick it out long enough to achieve that and whether or not the cost is worth the effort are other questions entirely.
And it may not be entirely in our hands. If the lunatics running Iran decide to attempt to finish the job Hitler started, the question of Iraq will seem small potatoes.
Well, Bill, with the Shi'ites already reviving Sharia law in their region, I can't see it's becoming less likely at this point.
Perhaps someone, someday, will be able to bring the Sunnis, Shi'ites and Kurds together into a single, stable and just democracy. But so far, I haven't seen anyone within Bush's camp that is capable of that level of diplomacy.
Time will tell.
what gain would there be in putting it off?
Well, that's the question I've been asking for awhile now. :)
Um, why is it so important to keep Iraq one country? With such divisive populations, why not split it up? There are many more countries with predominantly homogenous populations than heterogenous ones. Maybe the first step is to set up three democracies instead of one, and when they become stable, then talk about reconciliation and reunification.
Jason,
Yeah, right. And who lives where? Who gets the oil? Who gets whatever they get? Half the crap in that part of the world was created because outsiders came in, took over, carved up the countries when they left and made new countries with new "kings"/leaders that never existed before. Why not do it again in mini form?
Not one of the better exit ideas.
Ah, I see. So the status quo is the only way to go - it's much better to keep the original artificially-created Western country all one piece then to explore other options that might lead to a more naturally evolving stability in the region. Of course, there is the fact that the U.S. had to pretty much guarantee Turkey at the outset of the war that there would be no independent Kurdish state as a result of the war. As far as the resources go, yeah, there's always going to be an issue about that, too. Maybe the question is what did Iraq look like before it became Iraq, and would there be any possibility of going back to that?
Um, why is it so important to keep Iraq one country? With such divisive populations, why not split it up?
Well, that's how Iraq was, before colonial England and France screwed everything up, among others.
You have the Kurds, the Shiites and the Sunnis.
The situation is basically this:
The Shiites seem poised to ally with Iran and are the majority in the country.
The Sunnis are the former Baathists, and regardless of what happens, are going to fear retribution by the Shiites.
I can't even recall which of these two groups would control the oil.
The Kurds have no real resources in the north, and Turkey does not want them to have indepdence, because over the last several decades they've had tons of Kurdish refugees, and that could create another situation like with Kashmir (Pakistan/India fighting over the border) or that problematic area in southern Russia, the name of which escapes me at the moment.
Craig wrote: "The Kurds have no real resources in the north, and Turkey does not want them to have indepdence..."
Your facts are incorrect. The Kurdish areas do have resources (oil) up north: http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-oildeal1dec01,0,4057840.story?coll=la-home-headlines
What I don't get is why the Turks fear an independent Kurdish state...wouldn't that get rid of most of the Kurds in Turkey that have given them trouble. I mean, it worked for the Europeans--having failed to get rid of their Jewish citizens via extermination they helped launch Israel and many of those who were still alive emigrated. Seems to me that having an independent (and much militarily weaker) Kurdistan on the border would be preferable to having an active terrorist organization in you own country trying to create the same.
And anyway, what do we owe the Turks, as far as Iraq goes? As I recall they weren't very helpful, why should they have much sway now?
Your facts are incorrect. The Kurdish areas do have resources (oil) up north:
One fact is incorrect, and I'll own up to it. But then, I did also say I didn't know who controlled the oil.
What I don't get is why the Turks fear an independent Kurdish state...wouldn't that get rid of most of the Kurds in Turkey that have given them trouble.
I think the problem is that Turkey is not inclined to force these people to immigrate back to Iraq. And if they don't, they could end up with the situation Russia has been dealing with in Chechnya (remembered it!) - where the people are of a different ethnicity (many of them are Muslim).
But Russia is too damn stubborn to just let them have their independence already, most likely for fear of other federal areas in the country wanting to do the same. Especially those around Chechnya.
Although, I'm not aware of the Kurds in Turkey making terror threats and attacking people like those in Chechnya have done. So, there's some differences in the situations.
Btw, in reading that link, R Maheras, it sound as though they don't have readily accessible oil (ie, existing rigs and whatnot), but that they need to build such facilities.
And, as the article also states, it sounds like like the rest of the country wants to prevent them from doing just that - getting their own oil.
Anyways, existing facilities is what I was getting at, and I found this comment:
"According to the Oil and Gas Journal, Iraq contains 115 billion barrels of proven oil reserves, the third largest in the world (behind Saudi Arabia and Canada), concentrated overwhelmingly (65 percent or more) in southern Iraq."
It goes on to say that there may be twice that much still buried beneath parts of Iraq, but as it is yet unaccessed, I can't say I'd call it a definitive resource for the Kurds.
you know my Respect for PAD and the people on the site goes down every time I read comments
you know my Respect for PAD and the people on the site goes down every time I read comments
Then don't read comments. (Duh!)
:)
lthough, I'm not aware of the Kurds in Turkey making terror threats and attacking people like those in Chechnya have done.
No surprise, it doesn't get a lot of attention, but the PKK has been an active armed organization fighting for Kurdish independence within Turkey. The death totals from decades of fighting range from the low thousands to over 20,000 and the number of refugees from the fighting has been estimated as at least a half million. The PKK is ruthless and the Turkish government is not much better, if at all. (Interestingly, the Kurds of Iraq have no love for the PKK either and have defeated them in several major battles.).
you know my Respect for PAD and the people on the site goes down every time I read comments
We will have to bravely soldier on, knowing in our hearts that we get no respect from No Respect.
"So the status quo is the only way to go - it's much better to keep the original artificially-created Western country all one piece then to explore other options that might lead to a more naturally evolving stability in the region."
Not quite what I was saying. You have people in that part of the world who will fight over land because it was theirs back in the time of their grandfathers and isn't now. Unless you went back and undid the entire Mid East and rebooted it back to pre-Western map makers then you won't solve anything. And even then you would run into a brick wall dealing with the oil kings (ours and theirs) and the people who have come to see where they are at now as their home. Just repeating that same mistake on a smaller scale will, in my opinion, just cause you to end up with the same problem on a smaller scale with the people that do see Iraq, as it is now, as theirs. Plus, you have now made smaller, weaker states to be invaded by others later in the age old crusades to reclaim the homelands.
Think about what you're talking about doing and how it would make you feel. What if I were to come into your state, redraw the maps and state that, to deal with problems caused by race issues, different faiths in one area and economic issues, I was going to uproot you, your friends and family and everybody else and move you all to the new homes created in the new mini states. The mini states will be grouped by race, faith and other factors I see fit. Oh, and you don't have a say in the matter or where I put you.
And just because Iraq has had the crap bombed out of it and the people have lost so much in the last ten plus years doesn't mean that much in this matter. If VA were to be leveled in a Iraq style war, I would still see it as my home (the place I was born on top of that) and want to be here for the rebuilding.
"Maybe the question is what did Iraq look like before it became Iraq, and would there be any possibility of going back to that?"
Only if we invaded a few other countries over there as well, booted their people out and created chaos on a grand scale.
Who said anything about forcible re-districting? It seems to me - and I'm not claiming to exactly be an expert on the area - what we're doing now is forcibly trying to hold together three disparate groups in one nation. Has there been any consideration of allowing separate homelands and governments here, or was all of that precluded by the promise to Turkey? Or have all sides said that they wish to remain one nation, despite their conflicts?
As far as Bush's intelligence or lack thereof, it seems pretty clear there'll never be any kind of complete consensus about it. I do think most, if not all, could agree, though, that the perception of Bush's intelligence can't have been helped by the fact that this ... vocally awkward ... man immediately followed one of the most eloquent, naturally gifted public speakers to have ever held the office of president. Talk about a violent shift ....
Craig wrote: "Btw, in reading that link, R Maheras, it sound as though they don't have readily accessible oil (ie, existing rigs and whatnot), but that they need to build such facilities."
That link was just something recent that I popped up here to make a point. Actually, the Kurdish areas have existing oil facilities, and even if their oil resources were only 20 percent of Iraq's known oil resources, that 20 percent is probably 100 percent more oil resources than lots of other countries have, and is of considerable value. Thus, to be accurate, your theory about the Kurds needs to be reevaluated taking the actual resource facts into consideration.
Yeah. Me too!!
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30656