10) Pope George Ringo
9) Pope Alexander
8) Pope Carmelita
7) Pope On a Rope
6) Pope Sicle
5) Pope Skippy
4) Pope Tevye
3) Pope Bush Sucks
2) Pope Doggy Dog
1) Pope Peil Pocket Fisherman
Oh, and BTW, Habemus Papam.
Benedictus XVI.
Not who I would have chosen, but I wish him luck.
He'll need it.
You missed Pope Adolf... which should be considered, for Ratzinger's history if nothing else.
Gotta agree with "Pope Peil, Pocket Fisherman", just for the sheer audacity of the whole thing.
Pope Goes the Weasel?
TWL
Given his well known hard line stance against anything remotely progressive and his contempt for other religions (he has referred in print to Buddhism as "spiritual masturbation"), I'm just going to be calling him:
Pope Rat
One Cardinal was heard to comment, "Don't you just love that new-pope smell?"
Paul
Pope Corn?
Jiffy Pope?
Pope Pete Best? (If you want to stay with the Beatles theme...)
Pope N'Fresh?
Pope Second to Last (if you believe in St. Malachy's prophecies)
Regarding his history during WWII...he was 14 when he was forced to join Hitler Youth, and deserted the German army, risking his life, by age 17.
And to quote the Jerusalem Post:
As prefect of the Doctrine of the Faith, Ratzinger played an instrumental role in the Vatican's revolutionary reconciliation with the Jews under John Paul II. He personally prepared Memory and Reconciliation, the 2000 document outlining the church's historical "errors" in its treatment of Jews. And as president of the Pontifical Biblical Commission, Ratzinger oversaw the preparation of The Jewish People and Their Sacred Scriptures in the Christian Bible, a milestone theological explanation for the Jews' rejection of Jesus.
If that's theological anti-Semitism, then we should only be so lucky to "suffer" more of the same.
(That last sentence above was supposed to be in italics too, as it was also part of the quote.)
Drat... Too late to make my Pope Goestevoezl joke... Oh well...
Pope Homer J. Simpson ("We're replacing the boring stale crackers with donuts, and the blood of Christ will be the most holy Duff beer.")
Pope Bender ("Lookit all this shiny jewelry! I'm the new Space Pope!")
Pope Stewie ("So these people all have to obey me or I can condem them to Hell? Fabulous!")
Pope Cookie Monster ("Not eat cookie is a sin!")
Pope Hulk (He'll smash infidels, so you don't have to!)
Hmm...
Pope Sidious
Pope Agiggio
Pope Theta Sigma of Gallifrey?
If only they didn't have that "Cardinal Requirement" they could have chosen Bill Clinton, we could have had a Pope from a Place Called Hope.
Or how about ... The Pope formally known as Prince?
or Pope Harry
But alas...
Wait a minute...don't tell me they passed over Cardinal Albert Pujols! He'd have made a great Pope, I'm sure.
Pope Doggy Dog
Nice, liked that one. As a fun fact, he's not "Snoop Doggy Dog" anymore, he's just "Snoop Dogg".
I see what he means by comparing Buddhism to spiritual masturbation--I just don't see where that's a problem.
Someone said they have a cardinal requirment. Not true. Any baptized male, which means you don't even have to be Catholic. Which is why I applied for the job, but you know they wouldn't give it to me. I'm married and would be the only one ranked higher than bishop getting any with no restrictions.
But then that would have been the end of vows of celibacy, the ban on female priests, and contraception, so file that under when hell freezes over.
In honor of the Arrested Development season finally
Pope Secret
What about Pope Cerebus? With the appropriate tag line, of course.
keeping in the British theme...
Pope Who
Pope Zaphod Beeblebrox
Who's your friend? Who's your pal?
Pope Buddy!
Pope Buddy I. Has a nice ring to it.
Pope Retcon
Pope Stetcon
Pope Brother Voodoo
Pope Bundy
Pope KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!
Pope SuperDickery
Pope Jimmy Olson
(and to start a science theme)
Pope Watson
Pope Crick
Pope Mendel
You forgot Pope Darwin, if we're doing a science theme.
"Nice, liked that one. As a fun fact, he's not "Snoop Doggy Dog" anymore, he's just "Snoop Dogg"."
Yes, I know, but "Pope Dogg" isn't funny, nor is "Pope Snoop Dogg." "Pope Doggy Dog," on the other hand, sounds funny to me.
PAD
Don't forget
Soda Pope
Pope Marlowe
Pope Vladimir Tepes
Pope Crunch
And of course:
Pope Poiree
But Pope Peil Pocket Fisherman? Brilliant multi-pun there.
PAD, your list is very clever and funny; and I was surprised how good some of these others are, too.
But, for some reason, "Paste Pope Pete" had me the closest to really laughing out loud, Ravenwing269 - ha! (I do seem to be a sucker for alliteration ....)
Pope Ellison
(Or is it just me that thinks the new Pope looks kinda like Harlan Ellison? And if he's reading this...please don't hurt me. ; ) )
I was rooting for Cardinal Fang to become Pope.
Jeff,
Which are you afraid of - the Pope or Harlan? :-)
Pope Ye & Paste Pope pete get my vote!
(Pope Poiree is pretty damn funny too!)
For the third time in my life, the eminently most qualified Catholic man of faith for the job of the Pope has been passed over. Ah well, there's always the next time around for the great Father Guido Sarducci to make it to the top level.
I have to congratulate this thread on its gleeful anarchy and silliness. I really expected it would have devolved into conservative/liberal bashing by this point, as so many threads here do tend to. Bravo--it's lovely to have just a bit of fun threads now and again.
PS: You can't have a PAD top ten list without this entry: Pope Daisy Dyke.
"Which are you afraid of - the Pope or Harlan? :-)"
Let's see, one is the leader of millions of religious people, and the other fought AOL and won. Who would YOU be afraid of? LOL
I would be more afraid of being on Ellison's bad side than almost anyone else I can think of.
Whole bunch of them here:
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=1447758
You realize we're all going to Hell for this, of course. And PAD's driving the bus.
I'll be your tour guide this eternity...
Yes, I know, but "Pope Dogg" isn't funny, nor is "Pope Snoop Dogg." "Pope Doggy Dog," on the other hand, sounds funny to me.
Pope Doggy Dog is definitely the funniest of those combos. However, don't be playa' hatin' Pope Dog, Bro. In fact, "Pope DAWG" sounds downright cool. Or "fly", as it were.
I'd wager that if he was called "Pope Dawg", it would go along way to bringing some youth back to Catholisim. Hell, if his track record is any indication, he'll probably need it.
And then Pope Dawg could go w/ Fiddy Cent on the "Use Your Illuision Vol. 3" tour. Bringing gangsta rap and religion to the masses.
Ok, stop that, stop that, this is just getting silly now.
I like Buddy Pope...or Pope Buddy. But the one I thought of as I waited to see if it would be yet one more old white dude or someone of color...
Pope Bob.
Michael J Norton
In honor of the much-maligned cartoon sharacter Scrappy Doo...
POPE-Y POWER!
I was hoping he'd take the name Pope Maria Conchita Alonso. I don't know why I was hoping that, I just was.
Benedict? Sorry, I can't hear Benedict without thinking of a certain Mr. Arnold. I give the name thumbs down based on this flimsy excuse.
What I was wondering was if one of their "top secret" voting methods didn't involve a pair of dice, imprinted with the names of top candidates, and sealed under a clear glass dome which, when pressed down, snapped a mechanism beneath the dice, causing them to rattle around and determine the names to vote for...
You know, a sort of Pope-O-Matic...
Wildcat
RoboPope209
Seriously, how cool would that be?
"Recieve the body and blood of Christ. You have ten seconds to comply."
I'm dismayed that he didn't take Pope Lando II. If I ever become pope (you know, if they kill the Catholic requirement), I'm going to take that name to honour the first (and last) pope to keep his given name.
Pope Cerebus I would also be a good choice. "One less mouth to feed is one less mouth to feed."
And the geeks of the world rejoice with the election of Pope Mordenkainen!
1You know the Bishop of West Virginia was also in the running, but he told people that he:
1. Would call himself Pope Bubba 5.
2. Change the holy wine to Jack Dannels.
3. Both for Dale Sr.'s saint hood.
To get that everyman feel, he could have called himself Pope Yours.
According to Google Talk (http://douweosinga.com/projects/googletalk):
"Peter David will be the next Pope."
Hope no one else posted that already...
For some odd reason I had the TV on when the announcement was made. Not much you can do with Ratzinger.
I thought he was John Ratzenberger. Pope Cliff?
I was disappointed with "Benedict" - I was hoping he'd just stay with Pope Joe.
And I know making fun of how someone looks is the lowest form of schoolyard bully comedy, but in between the frown lines, the teeth and the dark bags under his eyes, could this guy possibly look any more like a James Bond villain?
I know, don't be mean and stay with the funny. Okay. Surprised no one came up with
Pope Le Pew.
Pope-O-Licious. "Finger Lickin' Good."
I looooooove Pope-Y-Power!!
And Pope-Eye :)
No, Benedict's a fine name.
And he'll have to hang with the Jesuits.
Then we have Poe Benny & the Jets. (works better when you say it)
I'd wager that if he was called "Pope Dawg", it would go along way to bringing some youth back to Catholisim. Hell, if his track record is any indication, he'll probably need it.
Why, didn't Catholism-wow & Buddy Christ work? It would explain why Cardinal Glick got passed over.
Also, earlier on CNN today, discussing unifying the church a viewer suggested Margarita communions.
Pope Corky IX.
Y'know, George Carlin's choice for a pope name...
Or, if by some incredible off-chance Muhammad Ali got elected, Pope-a-Dope...
This has nothing to do with the topic per se, but I thought it was funny and am passing it along. Thanks to Ravenwald for it:
Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.
After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent. In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rites to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine's air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.
Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders agree: he will never ascend to the Papacy. No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.
PAD
I still think he should end one of his homilies with, "I don't love you, I just want all your money."
Comic geeks would rejoice, and all others would be scandalized.
Pope Ned Flanders
Pope OJ
Pope Malcolm In The Middle
Robopope Papalbot (prototype)
and just for PAD...
POPE POOKIE101
Think they'll be having Pope-'em Fresh Dough in Rome? Or can anyone imagine Edgar Allen Pope? (Sorry, the horror writer in me MADE me do it...)But then, of course, the new hymn in the missalette....
THE HOKEY POPEY!
(Sorry, the DJ in me MADE me do it....)
(I got WAAAAAY too many people in my head. But they're so much FUN!)
(Shamelessly stolen)
Considering how quickly he was elected:
Jiffy Pope
(Shamelessly stolen)
In honor of his rapid election:
Jiffy Pope
from Bartcom.com:
His rap name - P. Benedict 16
From The Sun - Papa Ratzi
No one wants a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.
Ow. Ow ow OW.
Well done.
(And a couple of years ago, I brought a thousand-milliliter beaker filled with the lavender marshmallow Peeps into class [a purple Peep-liter], so it's not like I've got any grounds to complain too much...)
TWL
Pope Funky
Pope Quiz
Pope Wonka
Pope Q
Pope Ali G
Pope Einstein
Pope Gallager
Pope Baba Ganoush
The Pope of Steel
Pope Bono
(on a side note, rumor has it that Benadict will have an MTV series called "POP'D")
After just reading the eBay thread, I can't help but suggest...
Auction Pope, the Paypal leader.
(Not in the face!)