With the Super Bowl coming up next week, I thought it'd be interesting to ask you four questions. Don't bother posting the answers: These are only for your amusement and edification. Some folks will know a few of them. Some will know them all. But I'm guessing that, of the four, there's only going to be one that absolutely everyone is going to be able to answer quickly and confidently. Here we go:
1) Which two teams played in last year's Superbowl?
2) Who won?
3) What was the final score?
4) Which of Janet Jackson's breasts was exposed, her right or her left?
PAD
Posted by Peter David at January 28, 2005 11:01 AM | TrackBack | Other blogs commenting1. ******** and someone.
2. ********.
3. Beats me.
4. ********.
(Note: The Management has removed the answers given. --GH)
Okay, what part of "Don't post the answers" was unclear...?
PAD
I do not, and never have had any interest in the Super Bowl, so I have no clue. I could look up the information, of course; but right now, I can answer all four questions the same way:
Who cares?
Rick
Come on Rick, the FCC and all of the parents who let their young kids watch that violent game care about the negative effect of # 4. :)
Fred
LOL. Yeah, I only know the answer to the last question. Man, do I feel perverted now.
Uh, for what it's worth, the one I could answer quickly and confidently was #2 (and I couldn't really care less about football...)
Speaking of Jackson, I loved this little article from The Onion:
WASHINGTON, DC—As the nation approaches the one-year anniversary of the Super Bowl XXXVIII tragedy, an FCC study shows that millions of U.S. children were severely traumatized by the exposure to a partially nude female breast during the Feb. 1, 2004 halftime show.
"No one who lived through that day is likely to forget the horror," said noted child therapist Dr. Eli Wasserbaum. "But it was especially hard on the children."
The tragic wardrobe malfunction occurred approximately 360 days ago, during Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake's performance of "Rock Your Body," when Timberlake tore Jackson's costume, accidentally revealing her right breast.
"By the time CBS cut to an aerial view of the stadium, the damage was done," said Wasserbaum, who has also worked extensively with orphaned and amputee children in Third World war zones. "I've found that children can be amazingly resilient, but this event was too much for many of them to take. The horrible image of that breast is likely to haunt them for the rest of their lives."
According to the 500-page report filed by the FCC, more than 90 percent of the children who saw the exposed breast said they were "confused and afraid."
"Mommy has dirty chest bumps," said a 5-year-old boy quoted in one of the thousands of case studies compiled by the FCC. "She's like the bad lady on TV. I'm afraid Mommy will take off her shirt and scare everyone. I hate Mommy."
Girls were traumatized as well, often expressing apprehensions about sexual development. According to Wasserbaum, one 8-year-old girl told her parents that she didn't "want to get evil breasts."
Wasserbaum said children of both genders associate their trauma with footballs, presumably because of the context in which they were exposed to the breast.
A great number of children who witnessed the tragedy are still plagued by nightmares of sun-shapes that recall Jackson's nipple ring. Of the infants who saw the breast, 76 percent are unwilling to breast feed or use a bottle, forcing their parents to nourish them intravenously.
"When the tragedy took place, we knew it would cause psychological trauma, but we had no idea how long the effects would last," Wasserbaum said."Our worst fears have been confirmed. It will take years to repair the damage."
Cases of deviant sexual development induced by breast-glimpsing are widespread amongst older children. Pathologies range from schoolyard exhibitionism to gender-role confusion and violent shirt-tearing.
"The FCC imposed the maximum $27,500 penalty on each of the 20 CBS-owned television stations," Wasserbaum said. "But the government offered no recompense to the individuals exposed to the breast. And neither Jackson nor Timberlake has ever specifically apolgized to the children whose lives they ruined, or donated a penny for the adolescents' psychiatric care."
Across America, parental concern over the condition doctors have dubbed Nearly Naked Breast Disorder continues to grow.
"How can my son Brandon be expected to make it through something like that unscathed?" asked mother of four Shonali Bhomik of the San Francisco-based What About the Children? Foundation, one of many social-awareness groups spearheading the fight for increased NNBD funding in Congress. "For approximately 1.5 seconds, he saw a breast. The image was seared into his innocent, tiny retinas. He can't close his eyes without replaying the whole ugly scene over and over in his little head."
"For the love of God—that breast was almost nude," Bhomik added.
Bhomik said she has concerns about her son's development.
"I shudder to think how this could affect my son once he reaches puberty," Bhomik said. "Little Brandon just wanted to watch the fun halftime show with his family. He was only 10 years old."
Bhomik is one of millions of people facing every parent's worst nightmare: that their child will see a partially exposed breast.
Wasserbaum said there is no way to predict whether the children will recover.
"One thing is certain," Wasserbaum said. "For us as a nation, the horrific consequences of almost-nakedness have only just begun to make themselves apparent."
Wasserbaum added that children who saw the televised breast in Europe, Australia, and various other nations throughout the world were somehow unaffected by the sight.
(ahem) On behalf of the citizenry of this year's Superbowl host city I would like to express my warmest welcome to the NFL teams and their devoted, if creepy, fans, as well as my regrets that I have yet to think of some enormous prank to pull. I may have missed my fifteen minutes of fame.
I'm preparing for next week's festivities in much the same way I prepared for the hurricanes this past year, except without quite so much Chef Boyarde. The Superbowl will find me holed up in my apartment watching Curb Your Enthusiasm or something equally non footbally.
Thank you very much.
As a Bostonian, I must abstain... even mentally.
"The Superbowl will find me holed up in my apartment watching Curb Your Enthusiasm or something equally non footbally"
Just FYI, honey, they're running a "Charmed" marathon on TNT opposite the Super Bowl.
PAD
I could answer none of them (I have absolutely no interest in American Football whatsoever, and I don't think I ever saw a clip of the infamous show).
Then again I'm not USian and don't live in USland.
1) Which two teams played in last year's Superbowl? The Patriots and some other team.
2) Who won? The Patriots.
3) What was the final score? The Patriots won.
4) Which of Janet Jackson's breasts was exposed, her right or her left? I was helping my young, attractive wife with her own wardrobe malfunction during half-time so I missed seeing JJ's breast pop out. If looking at good-looking women's breasts is gonna be illegal then ship me off to Moscow Russia!!! After all, we have to look at male butt cheeks at least once a year on NYPD Blue!! See ya at Farpoint...and I better not catch you looking at my wife's breasts!!!
I remember three out of the four. For the score, I only know it was a close game. I can really see I had to think about the last one--I went back to that mental picture then I tore up said picture and tossed it into the circular file once again.
Rich
Question 5: Which plastic surgeon did the work that allowed question 4 to matter?
I can do three of four, and know the margin of the score (hey, I've lived in both teams home cities). I got the breast not from when it happened, but from all the Photoshopped humor bits with it after the fact.
Shana, trust me, you didn't want to do a prank. Back after I organized an MIT hack of the Harvard-Yale game, my group discussed pre-empting the inevitable Caltech Rose Bowl hack response [which happened a few years later and was quite good; a Caltech student took remote control of the scoreboard and changed the team names to Caltech and MIT. The really fun bits were that he was able to get the scoreboard to show lower case letters, which it usually couldn't do, and that he did it as an independent study class. So, just before the game, he called up his professor and asked him to watch the game for his final project demonstration. He got an A] by sending a group of MITers out to hack the Rose Bowl.
Then it occured to us that the Super Bowl would also be in the Rose Bowl a few weeks later. So maybe we could hack both.
Then it occured to us that if we hacked the Super Bowl, three groups would be paying us a visit. In order of our fear regarding them;
1) The front four of one or both of the teams.
2) The NFL's lawyers.
3) Some guys from Jersey angry that we messed up the point spread.
As it turned out, we didn't have the funds to send out a group. But we'd already decided the potential consequences for hacking the Super Bowl were just too significant.
Get ready folks:
Cialis will have another 60 spot during this year's Super Bowl. It will apparently air during the 3rd Quarter.
So, if you don't want to be a parent and have to explain "erectile dysfunction", keep your kids away!
Of course, it doesn't matter that football is one of our most violent sports in the first place...
Sorry to dissapoint, but I can only answer the first two questions quickly and confidently. I probably can come up with teh score if I think really hard about it though...
You'll notice that they went with nice, safe Paul McCartney (sp?) for this year's half-time. I think they'll be afraid of anything like that for a few more years.
LSU vs. Oklahoma
Oh, you meant PRO football. College is a much better game. :)
I can't believe the Janet Jackson thing happened a year ago.
You may think of Paul McCartney as a safer choice for the Super Bowl. I prefer to think of him as a much bigger name for the SuperBowl. And he happens to be family friendly, more often than not. I'd call that a pretty good deal.
Begin Rant. Come on guys what does it matter about JJ's breast? I mean who here really cares, I mean REALLY CARES that they saw it or that they're kids saw it? I'd say most kids have seen at least one pair of breasts regularly in their lifetime. Then of course they see other mammalian lactation glands on animals every day, do we get upset then? No thats the beauty of nature. I've even seen bigger boobs on TV recently on the "Biggest Loser" as well as many other shows where the grossly overweight take off their shirt, but since those breasts were on a male its ok. I'm reminded of the end sequence for Dodge Ball. Ya know we wouldn't be so upset or obsessed over breasts if we didn't hide them all the time... but oh well. End Rant.
>>
Paul McCartney, family friendly? Does anyone remember when the moral guardians of society were sure the Beatles were corrupting our kids and were destroying our way of life, (for no other reason then they had *gasp* long hair). Convienant how people tend to forget those things.
There's a stong part of me that wishes Sir Paul would screw everyone expecting to hear Yesterday or Hey Jude and play a rousing rendition of Why Don't We Do It In the Road? followed by an encore of "Hi Hi Hi" with a group of strippers dancing in the background. Would serve them right.
"Wasserbaum added that children who saw the televised breast in Europe, Australia, and various other nations throughout the world were somehow unaffected by the sight."
That's because Here in Europe, at least in Italy where I live with my beautiful wife, nudity is more common and doesn't shock. For example, it's common to see nudity in commercials here. As an American, I was shocked at first, but I got used to it and realized how Puritanical the USA can be about nudity while at the same time not censoring violence in PC games like Phantasmagoria II.
JHL
I'm against all kinds of censorship by the way. I just feel the USA needs to get out of 17th century and realize a breast is a body part like an arm or a leg.
JHL
A perfect example of JHL's point came when I was managing a small video store many years ago. A woman came up to me with her eight-year-old son and handed me the box for Bloodsport (early Jean-Claude van Damme movie). She asked me if I thought it was suitable for her son to watch. I told her that it was pretty violent, with many broken bones, lots of blood and a couple of deaths. "Oh no," she replied, "I meant is there any nudity." I told her that there was none that I was aware of. "Oh good," she said and rented the movie. A couple of nights later I offered to take Robocop II off of our monitors to a mother who had just seated her four-year-old daughter in front of one while she looked around, since it was in the middle of a pretty brutal firefight. "That's OK," she said, "she's seen worse."
How much they have forgotten? I believe in 1980, Sir Paul was arrested going through Japan's customs for possession of Pot. (Note, this is actually a noble thing. Most bands have a designated roadie to carry in the drugs so they can avoid the possiblity of getting busted themselves.)
Paul also spent the night in jail in Hamburg after being accused of arson for lighting on fire a condom. I believe that he was kicked out of Germany at the time.
I know 4..and like Tyg, it's pretty much because of the online parody stuff after the fact.
A funny bud commercial:
http://www.budweiser.com/mediaviewer.htmlshowFile=wardrobe_malfunction.js
er... http://www.budweiser.com/mediaviewer.html?showFile=wardrobe_malfunction.js
Forgot a ? mark
1. Superbowl? That's the Justice League vs. the Avengers, right?
2. The Justice League, of course.
3. Score? We're keeping score? How can we worry about keeping score when the Fate of the World hangs in the balance?
4. What the hell does Janet Jackson have to do with a Superbowl? Does she have superpowers?
Okay, here's the only question worth asking:
Whatever happened to Cowboy Pete??? I do miss him so.
Heck, I don't even know who's playing in This year's Super Bowl, much less remember who played in last year's.
Janet who?
1.) New England and Carolina
2.) Pats
3.) Unusually close as this was a real football game. This year, I think the Pats will get less work than anyone playing in the Pro Bowl.
4.) Who gives a flying rat's ass. She was wearing a falsie, and besides, America needs to get over its phobia of bare breasts. Half the nation saw them daily before their second birthday, and quite frankly, the prices you pay to see them now (unless it's dinner and a movie, and I'm married, so I don't mind that price... Unless the movie sucks) are outrageous. "Gee, they're full of silicon. That's amazing. Is the $25 bucks I paid for the couch dance going to pay off the surgery?"
But I'm not cynical or bitter.
It was Janet's right boob. I have a right to remember because I've had the hots for Janet Jackson since I was a kid.
That said, seeing her boob in Rolling Stone with that awful "nipple shield" ruined it for me. Oh, and Justin Timberlake was there too. That ain't so hot.
For me as a Bostonian, I see this as a new age of championships for New England. In the 70s and 80s, it was the Celtics and the Bruins. In the 90s, there wasn't any, save for Ray Borque leaving the Bruins and joining the Avalanche, only to get the Stanley Cup within two years of leaving Boston (He came back to show it off, and we still love him). So who cares about Janet? All i care is about is seeing my team kick butt, win three championships within four years, have its coach be on par with Vince Lombardi, and that we had two teams get chamionship gold to make this area have some greatness again. Granted, if we had gotten a certain win in November then we would have had a hat trick.
A question about breasts? Finally, you're speaking my language.
When I finally got around to seeing a photo after hearing all the fuss, my only reaction was what an ugly breast she had and how entirely unsexy she looked with it hanging out.
first of all, yer givin people too much credit to get the boob right, because you have to remember that the image is flipped on TV.
2nd of all - I missed the Janet Jackson thing. I was at a Bar, having beers, watching the halftime show and when I saw JANET JACKSON and JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE walk out I litterally said "Ugh, this is going to be boring, I'm gonna take a piss."
Shows you what I know.
Go PATS!
Also, I know you said don't answer, but please can I take a stab at #3?
Ok, so since viniteri...vineiteri? meh, ADAM went for the field goal, they were trying to prevent overtime. The score was tied, high 20's i think. So I'm gonna saaay...32, 29? or 31 28. Oh dang, is revealing that it was Adam giving away too much?
Of course the Patroits won... the Patriots ALWAYS win. Anyway, I think the Super Bowl Hacking would have been funny as hell. If for no other reason than to see the outrage generated by something so inconsequential. Especially by the "Football is life" people. Then again, I have a very twisted sense of humor, so...
Peter David: Okay, what part of "Don't post the answers" was unclear...?
Luigi Novi: C'mon, Peter, you just knew that people were going to ignore that. And if you wanted to make a blog entry simply to make a point, why not simply disable the posting function on it?
Bob Jones: 3) What was the final score? The Patriots won.
Luigi Novi: "The Patriots won" isn't a score.
So Janet Jackson's breast is one year older next week? Maybe it'll come out again to celebrate. Let's hope not. I already know it'll pass the "pencil" test with flying colors.
4 her left which i know cause all my family was watching it i was watching the have time show for janet my reaction was oh her boob not anything worse then what she does on stage my stsaage and secofly why rip her top of in the first place i have been a fan of hers since 86 but that was soooooooooo planed
"When I finally got around to seeing a photo after hearing all the fuss, my only reaction was what an ugly breast she had and how entirely unsexy she looked with it hanging out."
I expected my students would be passing around screengrabs and whatnot of the infamous malfunction but they were mostly not at all interested. Face it, Janet is old enough to be their mother and nobody wants to see Mom's breast, except maybe Dad.
Peter,
But it's unfair for you to say "don't post answers," when I'm the guy who blows the curve. I know the answers to the first three questions and don't know the answer to the last one. I suppose, if I were to try to conjure up some eidic image of the picture that ran on every news service, I might be able to come up with the answer. But I don't know it off the top of my head.
Bob
Were either breasts actually exposed? All the pictures I've seen showed a pastie the size of an ice cream tub.
Blurred, blocked, or in its natural state, I think I've seen that breast more than my girlfriend's.
When the FCC has every station reruning The Osmands, I'll probably STILL be seing that breast somewhere.
Maybe she should rent out advertising space.
In 2028 it'll be the silver anniversary of the malfunction. In the meantime whole cults of adoration (not unlike those of Elvis and James Dean) will have arisen. In fact a whole world religion will evolve: The Church Of the Boob!
I certainly enjoy Miss Jackson's surgically-enhanced body parts as much the next guy but, let's not forget that this all set Michael Powell's FCC on a censorship rampage. Some TV shows have noticeably altered their content,
(this season's NYPD Blue) and that's a bad thing, folks.
All this aside, this is an absolutely magical time to be in the Philadelphia area.
E!
A!
G!
L!
E!
S!
the most important thing in a website would be the webhost. i think we are all missing our host here and hope he is well, warm and having some fun during his time away.
by the way, thank you, Peter! I know you will know why
Okay, what part of "Don't post the answers" was unclear...?
That space between 'post' and 'the' threw me for a loop....
I was able to answer the first three because, well, my team won. Number four was because Mister Tony and Wilbon have shown in more time on PTI than 'Trampoline Bear'.
"Okay, what part of "Don't post the answers" was unclear...?"
Only the part that expect me not to be stupid. Mea culpa.