YANKEES AT THE BAT
By Peter David, with apologies to Ernest Lawrence Thayer
The outlook wasn’t brilliant for the Red Sox fans that day
The series, three to zip, with surely one game left to play.
For the Yankees were their daddy, and the Red Sox Nation wept
At the prospect of their team being ignominiously swept
A faithful few would hold up hope, but certainly the rest
Had given up the hope that sprung eternal in their breast.
“If only Lady History could be made into our bitch
If we could turn the tables on the Yankees for a switch.”
But history said down by three was far too deep a pit,
No team in all of baseball ever climbed up out of it
Plus upon that stricken multitude a grimmer specter sat
‘Twas the Curse of the Bambino that had made their hopes go splat.
So the fourth game was to be the last, the Sox just weren’t that great
It seemed that merely second best was their eternal fate
The third game, after all, had been such vast humiliation
They’d lost it 19-8, a death blow to the Red Sox Nation.
From millions of Yankee fan throats rose a great and lusty yell
It rumbled through the valley, it rattled in the dell
It started down in New York and in Fenway it would settle
For the Mighty Yankees were about to test the Red Sox mettle
There was ease in Yankee manner as they entered the fourth game
There was pride in Yankee bearing, and they smiled at Red Sox shame
And when, responding to the jeers, the Yankees doffed their hats
No stranger in the crowd could doubt ‘twas Yankees at the bats.
The Fenway bunch recoiled as Yanks took their place of honor
The Curse of the Bambino meant the Sox would be a goner.
The question wasn’t “if” or “how,” the only thing was “when?”
When would the Red Sox break their hearts? They surely would again.
But the fourth game was a shocker, for Rivera blew a save
While a timely homer rocketed off of the bat of Dave.
A five-plus hour marathon, and the Sox some left for dead…
“It was a fluke,” said Yankees. “Game Five!” the umpire said.
From the benches, black with people, there went up a muffled roar, Like the
Beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore;
“They’re screwing with us!” some fans cried out, their torment on their sleeve
To hold out hope the Sox might win was too much to believe.
But the fifth game was much like the fourth, albeit slightly longer
Ortiz would save them yet again, the Sox were looking stronger.
The Red Sox Nation dared to dream, the Sox were halfway there.
Some found themselves afraid to hope, and more, afraid to care.
With a smile of New York charity great Yankees’ visage shone
They stilled the rising tumult, they said, “We’ve tossed a bone;
We’ll wrap this up in game six, in the Bronx where our fans deafen.”
But game six didn't go that way, and the umpires said, “Game seven!”
“Fraud!” cried the maddened Yank fans who despised the umpires’ calls
For the home run that was not, but was, and A-Rod’s smacking balls
And then the Yanks grew stern and cold, they saw the muscles strain,
And they knew the Yankees would not lose another game again
The sneer is gone from Yankee’s lips, their teeth are clenched in hate
They pound with cruel violence their bats upon the plate
And now Babe Ruth is looking down, the seventh game is on
And now comes crashing history, and now the game is gone.
Oh, somewhere in the Bronx this day, you’ll find there’s no Bronx cheer
Commuters looking shellshocked and the future isn’t clear.
And somewhere, fans feel lousy, and somewhere, George feels worse
But there’s only joy in Boston
For the Yankees caught the curse.
Well, aside from the small glitch of making game four game five and so on, a very, very clever and funny poem indeed.
And given how long the games got, it's easy to forget the numbering. All told I think this series ran about ten games. It's the LotR of baseball, all extended edition at that.
I thought the curse was about winning the World Series.
Is that broken?
Red Sox fans are so arrogant, wait until its over before you crow so much.
When its over crow loud, but please wait.
Hi Peter...
>> So the fifth game was to be the last,
>> the Sox just weren’t that great
Think you meant to say the fourth game there?
>> The fourth game, after all,
>> had been such vast humiliation
And that would be the third, right?
I like it. I like it a lot. I admired you before I met you in Brockton; I admired you more after that and I think you are one of the supreme talents writing today.
And, when you're back in the Bay State you will be the recipient of a batch of my wife's most excellent chocolate chip cookies.
Mark
>> Red Sox fans are so arrogant, wait until
>> its over before you crow so much.
You have GOT to be kidding me.
My Sox, whom I've loved and been tortured by
since childhood, just made history. We went
and caused the most dominant team in baseball
to choke like no other team before them...
...and you're telling us not to crow so much?
BwaaHahahahAHAHAhahahahHAAHAHah!
Far as many of us are concerned, that WAS the
World Series, man.
Anything that follows is just icing.
"Hi Peter...
>> So the fifth game was to be the last,
>> the Sox just weren’t that great
Think you meant to say the fourth game there?
>> The fourth game, after all,
>> had been such vast humiliation
And that would be the third, right?"
Ahhh, bitch bitch bitch...
I fixed it. Wrote a whole extra stanza AND even fixed the "to" that should have been "too" even though no one pointed that one out. Happy?
PAD
Thanks PAD. We're basking in it up here in Boston, believe me.
So much Yankee hating going on around here I'm starting to feel about as welcome as a Republican.
Peace,
Doug
Go 'Stros!!!
Excellent piece!! If anyone really wants to rub it in, order one of these t-shirts, available from the Major League Baseball website - a true collectible!
Heh, bitching not intended! I just can't fight my years of QA experience. Sorry. :)
That said, great little piece, Peter. Thanks.
Someone over at Fast Company took a shot at
another song...
http://blog.fastcompany.com/archives/2004/10/21/damn_yankees.html
It's "The Devil Went Down to Boston". Good stuff.
And in Ohio, one reader sat and waited all the week
He refreshed and rebooted, always hoping, and yes, he felt it reeked.
He watched that screen with great aplomb, and with anger then, he spewed
Where the frell was that previously promised Farscape miniseries review?!
Peter, are you aware that Martin Gardner compiled a whole bunch of Casey parodies in his Annotated Casey at the Bat? You might want to send him a copy of this poem.
Hey PAD, you love old "Casey @ the Bat" song/ rhyme, eh? I personally just know it from the old Disney cartoon. But you did that GREAT issue of Hulk (435) where it was Rhino vs. Hulk when they were both baseball players. That was one of my favourite issues & you did did the same Casey at the Bat play on it. "But there was no joy in Sunville cuz the Rhino's been punched out." "As far as fights go, it was pure poetry"
Not that I'm calling you on it, I just think its cool you dig the ryhme so much. Is it a ryhme or a song anyway? Like I said, my only frame of reference is the old Disney cartoon.
Ok PAD I think you should start working "Casey At the Bat" into EVERYTHING you write. From now on. All the way. New Froniter, Sir Apropos, Fallen Angel, Madrox. Everything. Just try to jam it in there as ham-fisted as possible. Please?
BRAVO! Author! Author!
If the straight prose gig ever goes south Peter, you can always try your hand at more poetry! ;)
GO 'STROS! (Our game 7 is tonight!)
The whole thing just seems to make people break out in song.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/papa_funk/2662.html
(a little more modern, though)
Peter, Frank Jacobs would be proud of this. And If you grew up reading as many MADs as I did, you know what high praise that is.
Steve Leavell
Hmm. Is there another Toby out there? Or did someone just mess up (or messing with me?).
Since I'm really here, though, I figured I'd pitch in my congrats to the Sox. I'm not a huge baseball fan (though after going to a game in person that changed somewhat), but my brother and grandfather are huge fans. I only tend to pay attention when they're doing good things.
Monkeys.
Great poem! Of course, it probably has the most disgusting, filthy line about the whole series:
and A-Rod’s smacking balls
A little too much information there...
Thanks PAD, that was great!
4 more games to go!
Hello Peter,
A friend sent me the URL for your Yankees at the bat, and my first thought was, "I know that guy". Do you remember wayyyyyy back when? I used to be part owner of New England Comics in Boston, and you were just starting out with Marvel. Marvel had just released it's "New Universe" books, and you were writing one of the books (sorry to have to remind you). We had you and the artist (Steve somebody?) in for an appearance/signing.
Of all the guests we had in over those years, you and Steve were the best. I had a great time hanging with you two, and while I have been out of the comics business for over 20 years, and rarely read them anymore, I do see your name on things ocassionally. You seem to have done prety well for yourself. I had a hunch even way back when that you would. :)
Anyway, I loved the poem...and if any of you Yankee fans need help coping with this, feel free to ask. We Sox fans have been coping for 86 years. Start with repeating after me... "Just wait until next year" :)
-Brad
This is wonderful, except that I wish you had spared a word for mighty Schilling, or the fear that came over the fans when Martinez was looking not too good in Game 7.
But I'll link to this anyway.
Karen in Tucson, former home of the Tucson Toros (including Schilling, Biggio, Lofton and others).
The mighty, heroic and all-around inspiring performance of Mr. Curt Schilling would warrant a poem all unto its own!
Many thanks for a fine ode to the Red Sox triumph - the greatest comeback ever!
4 more, God All-Mighty - 4 more!!!! Please!!!!
-Luciano
Teeehee! Loved the poem. Entirely delightfully appropriate. Thanks! :-)
And from today's Boston Globe, this update on Schilling:
"Before every World Series game Red Sox ace Curt Schilling pitches, his doctors will perform the same quick-fix ankle stitch-up that enabled him to dominate the Yankees Tuesday night in New York.
The procedure, which must be undone after every game to prevent infection, will allow him to pitch effectively through the series against the St. Louis Cardinals, said his doctors yesterday. And if his pitching services are needed to help save a game in later innings, his doctors are prepared to do the procedure in the middle of a game in order to get him on the mound, they said. The stitching can be done in 10 minutes with just a local anesthetic."
They state that this will not make the situation worse, and Schilling's going in for surgery about 1-3 days after the end of the Series.
Me, I'm waiting for the commercial from a certain Boston-area based office supply company. Shot of doctor running through the aisles to pick up certain office equipment, then cut to a dugout with a background soundtrack of Fenway going nuts. The doctor uses the office equipment on Schilling's ankle. Cut to company logo and tagline: "Staples. Yeah, we got that."
And, for those who are interested, the Sox have made some, to me anyway, interesting choices of singers for the first two games:
"Aerosmith's Steven Tyler will perform the national anthem and "American Idol" winner Kelly Clarkson will sing "God Bless America" for Game 1. James Taylor will sing the anthem and Donna Summer will perform "God Bless America" for Game 2"
I'd like to hear Taylor's version. I'm curious as to just what a Steven Tyler version of the anthem is going to sound like. I'm hoping they get Peter Wolf of the J. Geils Band for something later on if needed. And, frankly, while I suspect they disbanded for the season a month ago, I wouldn't at all mind music for these by the entire Boston Pops orchestra. But Clarkson's a bad choice (OK, so I'm an old fogey who's not an American Idol fan) in my opinion...but if they do a New Kids On The Block reunion, I'm going to start wishing the Yankees had won.
From a comment on Teresa Nielsen Hayden's blog:
"To whomever far, far upstream posted the link to Peter David's Red Sox rhyme: thank you. I enjoyed it, and so did my friend who works at the Baseball Hall of Fame. I imagine it is well circulated in Cooperstown by now."
Sox up 4-0 after the first inning.
Game tied 7-7 after the sixth inning.
And so it begins...
You've got to check this out...Arcana thinks they broke the Curse...cool comic and HOT chick...I hope they did or anything/anyone does...but as a previous poster said....this is icing. We beat the YANKEES!! after coming back from a feat that has NEVER EVER been done in the history of baseball...dudes..the curse is over...now we just have two more games to go to win the World Series!!!
This is the URL:
http://newsarama.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=19967
I don't want to say anything definite for fear of jinxing anything, but there is a certain team in Game 3 that has the appearance of a jinxed, beaten, self-defeating team. That team is famous for a red-colored article of clothing. However, that article of clothing is their red caps and not their red socks. Anyway, I had better go to bed now. A part of me expect the Red Sox to blow this lead in the last three innings as the real St. Louis Cardinals show up. But if not---we may have to stop talking about the Curse of the Bambino and start talking about the Curse of Dom Denlinger...
Sincerely,
Edward J. Cunningham
Looks like a BIG party in Boston tonight. my prayers will be with you all, both to get the win, and that the celebrations are relatively non-dangerous ("peaceful" is a pipe-dream).
police officers and emergency vehicles, start your engines.
and remember, it's Chicago's turn next year....
Some people say " It Doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile winnings, winning."
now just apply that to baseball. At which the red sox prevailed the yanks. the yanks really suck now b/c it was said they wouldnt/ couldn't lose to the redsox, yet they did. As peter said in the poem the curse was now passed on to the yankees and they to will not win for another 86 years!!!